I held her hand weeping my eyes out. My life didn't matter anymore. I want her now. I want to live for me!

I want my wife  Anagha to live for me!

"Sir, you are needed for a surgery. We are short on staff." One of the nurses kept her hand on my shoulder as I looked at her.

"I will ask someone to check her vitals. We Injected drug into her body. Her internal hemorrhage will control. Let's see what fate decides ok? If needed I will keep Dr Samridh and Akira on emergency to perform surgery on her. Please, we need you. " She said holding my arm. I cried not moving a bit. 

No!

I can't be elsewhere if she's dying!

"Sir!." Nurse shouted holding my hand. I came out of my trance and just looked at her.

"Look at me! She will live! Surgery has been started by Dr Samridh, you need to be there! Move!." She pushed and forced me to walk with her. Her staff surrounded Anagha's bed as I walked with her. Scrubbing blood off my body, I wore surgical gown and joined Dr Samridh who nodded his head at me. Person we are operating on is the most badly injured patient in this accident.

"We will save her. One at a time. Akira is in surgery too. Other stand by doctors are arriving. To make you feel comfortable, Dr Dhruv is on the way. He will attend your wife." Samridh spoke nodding his head. Relief washed over me, if he's here I am sure he knows how much I want her to live. 

There's no way he will let her die!

"Status?." I asked standing beside main surgeon to take over the surgery. He explained to me what all they did till now and I explained them what am going to do. Sweat dripped over my forehead as head nurse wiped it continously for better vision. My steady hands shaked a bit holding on to the instrument for support. Samridh nodded his head in encouragement as I sutured artery near patients neck. As soon as I am done with difficult part I stepped back allowing Samridh to finish off. Walking at the back of the surgery room I sat down on the floor with exhaustion. It's been 4hrs since the moment I entered this room, I completed forgot about my wife!

"Anagha!." I whispered. People in OT room listened but concentrated their work. Everyone is worried about her. Head nurse approached me and crouched down.

"Sir, Dr  Dhruv is operating on her now. Dr Akira will join him shortly she's finishing off another surgery. Don't worry. We will be done in an hour. Just pray." She spoke as everyone in the room nodded their head as yes silently. I sat down took long breath and closed my eyes. As soon as Samridh is done with suturing,  I have to operate on patients leg as it's been done simultaneously to avoid complications.

"Here."surgeon spoke looking at me. I got up and braced my legs and brain to sustain for few more hours. Multiple injuries and excessive loss of blood made us to take this critical decision of operating at a time.  Most of the staff had to clock in to help us and move out as soon as they are done to attend other injured patients. Although we have minimum 10 doctors in each department with a casualty as big as this, it's always less.

"Done." I said looking at head surgeon who nodded at me. Samridh and me stood aside as he finished up his work of suturing back the injured scalp.

"We are done. Check vitals. Report current status." He spoke asking for update. We all stood in a corner for 1.5hrs to see any kind of unnecessary readings. Thankfully the patient looked stable and we walked out leaving remaining work to another Surgeon.

"She will be fine " Sam spoke as we scrubbed out silently. I ran to her operation theatre with people swarming the place. Suddenly I was one of these weeping patients waiting for their kin to come back alive. The nurse who helped me came back to support. I called mom and Yug to inform about her condition. Her parents were worried like hell while Dr Panchal her uncle requested team of doctors to attend her as well as emergency cases in our hospital.

"Sir? Can you scrub in? Dr Samridh seems to be exhausted. He's going forward but we think it's not fair to make him do surgeries one after the other." Nurse from his ward came running to me. I looked at head nurse who's on break before joining next surgery. She nodded her head assuring me about Anagha. I walked away looking at her theatre door one last time.

" Thank you. " Dr Samridh send with tired voice. He's been on call since the moment we found about the accident and land slide.

"Sit this one out. Go take a nap. We will be needing you." I said touching his forearm. He nodded walking out of the theatre without a word. Everyone has limits, their exhaustion makes them burst in a bad way. I think I am reaching mine too but the person infront of me trusts that doctor here will save him no matter what happens. With thoughts of my wife I started performing surgery which was later taken up by another doctor to finish it.  Not even single case from the accident has got stabilized vitals. We are all praying the higher power to let them live and make this coming 24hrs an easy battle for patients who got operated.

"Sir! Dr Akira has asked me to inform you that surgery went well. They have shifted her to ICU." Head nurse informed me as I started placing sutures on my patient. I thanked God and completed my work. Mom, Yug stood outside the ICU with tears running from their eyes who knew my woman who fought for Yug's mental health will be laying on bed tye next day fighting for her life? Yug hugged me wailing loudly, after every single time I forget He's still a child who was forced to accept his situation in life.

"Will she live?." He asked me.

"She has to,  for my sake." I whispered. There are many things I wanted to discuss with her after last night confession. I realised it's not only me who couldn't communicate my feelings well, my wife Anagha too has problems but not as big as me. I wanted to sit down, confess, share my life before her arrival into it. 

How many days will be giving chance to eachother?

"She will live." My mom spoke holding Yug close to her.

I walked to Dr Akira who scrubbed out of theatre. She smiled at me and looked at my mom. 

" I can't say she's out of danger. Her spleen was cut, we had to do surgery. She will be fine. Internal hemorrhage has been dealt with. Let's see how well her body responds. Anagha has sustained rib fracture along with dislocation of bone near her neck. She will be fine in no time." Akira spoke smiling at my mom.  We were not allowed inside as they were shifting patients who had surgery and it's not safe for them if we are careless.

For now Amogh, be patient.

'You can't always win the battle against the time, it has got its own duty to do'

I clearly remember my dad saying these words before he expired. Sending my mom and Yug home. I sat outside on the floor. All the emergency patients had some or the other operation. None of them came out with minor injuries. It was such a hectic day for all the doctors here. I closed my eyes hoping she will recover soon.

'Amogh! It is too late for me to realise but if there comes a day when you have to decide what is more important,  you or people around you whom you love. Choose wisely, as that decision can alone make or break your heart.'

I opened my eyes with a jerk.
Why am I getting all these flashbacks now? I hope my mind hasn't gone back to those stressful days!

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