I looked around nervously , groups of people left the place as lunch bell rang. Undergrad students gave me a look asking what am I doing here? I just smiled and leaned against the wall looking at the garden. I remember standing at the same place waiting for him with excitement when I joined this college. Of course what followed next really broke my heart and I decided to just let it be.

"Hi. " He said smiling a bit. I nodded my head in acknowledgement. He leaned against the wall beside me staring at the beautiful garden where wild grass was growing.

"That's a waste of land. Right? They could have atleast managed the scenery if not this section of building." He spoke.

"Sometimes, it's better to leave things the way they are. I know how excited the garden be thinking people will come to it but in reality no one wishes to be with it. It's just an mirage." I spoke remembering our conversation that day.

He went silent. This silence has been with us for years. One day, this will be the only way of knowing eachothers presence. He turned towards me leaning against the wall on his shoulders. We barely spoke yet we knew what it meant. Him being in my life did not change a bit. I wished some day it does.

"You were talking about leaving the house,  asking permission at your home?." He asked. I glanced at him and nodded my head.

"What was that about?." He asked.

"I wanted to know-" I started my narration again.

"No, I am talking about you thanking me. Not leaving OUR house." He spoke in the middle. I turned towards him now and raised my brows. What does he mean? I should thank him right?

"You feel, a simple thank you will equate whatever I have done for you?." He asked. Now I am confused. Isn't he the one who insisted that I come to his home although he denied my parents request? He chose to be in this position yet he's talking as if I was desperate to get his time.

"You will thank me in a way I want you to. " He spoke leaning down towards me. I looked at his collar which is  crooked and half tucked out shirt indicating he's been assessing some papers or probably cases in his cabin before reaching here. Stethoscope around his shirt has been left carelessly which is now about to fall from his shoulder.

"Anagha." He whispered. I looked into his eyes and he smiled a bit. A rare one which he never did in college premises.

"How?." I asked.

"I will do something and you are not obliged to deny it.  Will you?." He asked. My eyes widened at his words. Do something??? What does that even mean???

"When time comes you will know." He answered my unasked question. I dropped my eyes not having much choice. I can trust him a bit right? I am sure it's not going to embarass me. He moved close to me, lifted my chin with his fingers.

"Don't worry, nothing explicit." He said to which I just smiled. His fingers moved from my chin to adjusting my dupatta and down my arm, he finally rested them between my fingers to hold it firmly. This new found action made me hot and for once I stopped thinking about him as my professor.

"Sometimes, people don't know mirage gives them peace. They fail to understand, we don't need beautiful well sorted garden or pond to stay happy. Fresh air and beautiful butterfiles are seen  even at a place like this. It all depends on what we actually want." He spoke looking away from me. We both were silent listening to students bickering around the college.

"Its your home too. Atleast you don't need to take permission to go or stay. We all love you anyway." He said, something so beautiful he expressed in a casual tone. Not leaving my hand he answered his call. Humming to whatever that pg was saying he unconsciously rubbed my palm. It was awkward for me.

"Ok. Let's wait for the patient to gain consciousness. Ok. That's it. Right." He spoke disconnecting his call. I don't know what it meant. Dr Amogh just looked at me then at the garden infront of us.

"I...I will leave?." I asked.

"Why?." He questioned.

"We are going out.." I trailed.

"Oh. You meant now?." He questioned to which I nodded my head.

"Stay. Stay until your practicals are done. I will help you. After that, it's your wish. If you ask me, I will never leave you nor would like you to stay away from me." He spoke pushing stray strands of my hair behind my ear.

"Aren't you being too touchy with me Sir?." I asked to which he just chuckled.

"Well, I want to be. Don't you like me doing this? Are you uncomfortable?." He asked.

For a person who is not interested in committing towards me, he sure has lots of wishes.

"Does it matter? It's you who always decide what needs to be done with me or with us. Like always I stupidly agree with it. Hoping something good will happen. There is no consent between us, it's only you doing it and me being happy with whatever I get from you without asking." I spoke taking my hand away from him. He gained his posture, tucked his shirt inside, adjusted his steth and stood infront of me with pockets in his hands.

"I do this thinking i don't need consent from you since the relation we have doesn't need one. I sure have said words which hurt you to the core, even clarified it as I don't want you to get into trouble. I couldn't be what you wanted me to be all these years for a reason you won't understand. " He spoke angrily turning around, taking few steps back he leaned down to look into my eyes.

"Only if you were observant enough, you would know I was and still am with you protecting you,  being whatever you wanted me to be discreetly. Trying to make you comfortable as much as possible here. Not everyone needs to touch you to show how much they love Anagha." He whispered, he left me not before giving me a kiss on forehead. His retreading figure made me think what all he has done for me.

Whenever I was bullied using my uncle's name, I found them Apologize to me the next day, Doctors hitting on me left my side, I had no issues with patients and their Kin Whenever I felt it's difficult. Somewhere I knew he's behind all these incidents. I thought he was doing it for the sake of my family and uncle.

I walked back to the canteen, slipping into the groups lunch silently. No one questioned me thankfully. Kasturb had a look asking me to spill the beans as soon as we are alone. Although I was smiling like a happy person deep inside his words are trying to find a meaning.

Was I wrong all these years to understand him or couldn't see him changing for me?

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