Ring ring ring!

Castiel groans at the sound of his phone. Where is he? He opens his eyes slowly, the light blinding him. Where's his phone? He feels around for it, finding it in his pocket. It's so... loud.

He takes it out of his pocket and looks at the caller ID. What are those red smudges? And those little lines... Does that say Gabriel? Who's that? Oh, right. His brother. He should probably answer it.

"Hello?" Castiel croaks.

"Castiel? Oh my god, Castiel!" Gabriel's relieved voice comes from the phone. "I've been calling you for hours! Where are you?"

"Uh..." Castiel looks around, but he can't lift his head up. Why does his head feel wet? Did he just take a shower? "I think I'm at school?"

"What? Dude, it's, like, five o'clock!"

"Oh, that's nice."

"Alright, I'm coming to pick you up," Gabriel announces.

"Do you even have a license?" Castiel asks.

"No, Luce's gonna drive me but whatever," Gabriel replies. "Meet me at the door, okay?"

"The door?"

"The front door!" Gabriel practically yells. "What door do you think I'm taking about?"

Castiel pulls the phone away from his ear. "You're loud."

"Alright, whatever. Meet me at the front door. We'll be there in a few minutes."

What was that click? Oh, it was his phone. Why did his phone click? Castiel looks at his phone curiously.

"'Call ended,'" he reads aloud. Why did his call end? Did Gabriel end his call? Why did Gabriel end his call?

Shouldn't he be doing something right now? What should he be doing? Should he be doing something? Maybe he doesn't have to be doing something.

But he feels like he should be doing something. He's probably just imagining things. He doesn't have to do anything. He's just going to go to sleep.

Ring ring ring!

What's that? Castiel looks around. Oh, that's his phone. Haha, he should know that. He's used his phone before. Why's it ringing? Maybe Castiel should ask it. He holds him phone out in front of him. Oh, look! Gabriel's calling! Why's Gabriel calling?

"Hello!"

Oh, he should answer the phone first. He hits the little green button.

"Hello!"

"Dammit, Castiel, where are you?" Gabriel asks, exasperated.

"I don't know," Castiel replies. "Why?"

"I told you to meet me at the front door!" Gabriel yells.

"The — the front door?"

"Yes, idiot, the front door!" Gabriel yells again. "You know, the door you walk through to get to school?"

"What door?"

Gabriel groans. "Fine. Be difficult. Where are you? I'll come find you."

"Um... I think I'm at school?"

"No shit, Sherlock!" Gabriel yells. "I mean where at school?"

Castiel chuckles. "Sherlock. You called me Sherlock. I'm not Sherlock. I'm... I'm... Who am I? Oh, I'm Castiel." He is Castiel, right?

"Dammit, Castiel! Where are you? And don't just say you're at school because I know you're in school!"

"Don't yell at me," Castiel whimpers.

Gabriel groans, annoyed. Suddenly, a new voice is on the phone.

"Heya, Castiel!"

"Who are you?" Castiel asks, confused.

"Lucifer," he replies. "Doi."

"Lucifer?" Castiel repeats. He looks at his phone. "My phone says Gabriel. Or is my phone's name Gabriel? Lucifer? That's the devil's name. Is Gabriel the phone possessed by the devil?"

Lucifer chuckles. "Yeah, sure. Let's go with that. So, where are ya?"

"Does this mean I'm talking to the devil?" Castiel asks nervously.

"I think you're taking too many psych classes," Lucifer laughs. "Seriously, Castiel, where are you?"

"Why — why would I tell the devil where I am?"

"Because he asked you nicely," Lucifer replies. "Come on, where are you?"

"Pfft, I ain't telling you, Mr. Devil!"

There's some indistinct talking on the other end of the Gabriel. Then, "Well, the devil is an angel, so really, not telling me would go against an angel's wishes."

"Oh, yeah," Castiel replies. "But how do I know you're not tricking me? That's what the devil does. He tricks people."

"Okay, Castiel, you realize I'm not actually the devil, right? I mean, if you wanna roll play, not my problem, but how about we do that after we find you?"

"If you're not the devil, who are you?" Castiel asks, puzzled by this insane turn of events.

"I'm your brother, idiot," Lucifer replies.

"My brother is the devil?"

Lucifer sighs. "Look, Castiel, we all know you're mad about Dad's new rules and stuff, but knock it off. Seriously. This is getting really annoying."

"What's getting annoying?"

"Dammit, Castiel, just tell us where you are!" Lucifer yells.

Castiel pulls the Gabriel away from his ear. "You're loud," he says, laughing.

"Seriously, Castiel, where are you?"

"Pfft, I don't know."

"How do you—? Never mind, not worth it," he mutters. "Okay, what room are you in front of?"

Castiel looks around. "Um... This one?"

"Dammit, Castiel, that's not helping!"

Castiel whimpers, putting the Gabriel on the ground in front of him so he doesn't have to listen to the devil yell at him. It's not his fault the devil doesn't pay attention.

It takes a long time for Castiel to see someone walk towards him. Who's that? Castiel can't see him from here. He's so blurry. Maybe Castiel needs his glasses. No, Castiel doesn't wear glasses. Haha, silly Cas. You don't wear glasses! Oh, hey, he looks familiar! That's Lucifer! Castiel laughs. How come he didn't recognize Lucifer earlier? Oh, yeah. Because he couldn't see Lucifer!

"Oh my god, Castiel," Lucifer whispers, his eyes wide with fear. He runs the rest of the distance, kneeling down next to the boy. "What happened?"

Castiel laughs. "Pfft, I don't know. Why?"

"Are you high?" Lucifer asks.

"No, I'm actually very low," Castiel replies. "Though, I suppose I would be high to people in the basement. Is there a basement here? Where am I again?"

"You're at school," Lucifer reminds him.

"Oh, yeah!"

"What happened to you?" Lucifer asks.

"I don't know."

"Well, think harder!"

Castiel whimpers. "Don't yell at me," he pleads quietly.

"Sorry," Lucifer replies, and had Castiel been in working order, he would know that it wasn't sincere.

"My head hurts," Castiel says. "Why does my head hurt?"

"I don't know, that's what I'm asking you!"

"My back hurts, too," Castiel says. "And my arms, and my legs, and my stomach and... And my everything. I don't like it."

"No, generally people don't like getting hurt," Lucifer agrees. "Alright, I'm gonna call Gabriel, tell him that I found you, and we're going to take you home. Capiche?"

"I capiche," Castiel replies. "But you don't have to call Gabriel."

"What?"

"He's right here,"

"Where?" Lucifer looks around, but their brother is nowhere in sight.

"No, here!" Castiel say again.

Lucifer follows his gaze. "Um... Yeah, I'll call Gabriel on a phone."

"No, Gabriel is the phone!"

"What?"

"Yeah! The devil told me!"

Lucifer sighs. "That was — Never mind. Your phone is gross, by the way. It's a miracle it still works." He pulls out his own Gabriel and taps it a few times. "Hey, Gabriel?"

Is his named Gabriel too? Are all of them named Gabriel? Is it just a Gabriel, then, and not a name? Like how a tree could be named Harold, but it's still a tree. So is this named Gabriel instead of Harold, or is it a Gabriel instead of a tree?

"What's that?" Castiel asks, watching the figure approach them.

"That's Gabriel."

"But I thought that was Gabriel!" Castiel looks at the Gabriel in Lucifer's hand.

"No, I was talking to Gabriel."

"So it is Gabriel?"

Lucifer sighs. "Yeah, sure. Fine. Hey, Gabe!"

Gabriel finally reaches the two boys, a full on sprint when he sees his younger brother on the floor.

"What happened?" Gabriel asks immediately.

"Pfft, I don't know," Castiel replies.
"Did you know you have the same name as my Gabriel?"

"Are you drunk?" Gabriel asks.

"No! I don't drink. Well, not alcohol. But I don't think I've had anything to drink today at all, so I really can't be drunk, huh?" Castiel laughs.

"Are you high?"

"Don't ask that," Lucifer says quickly.

"Um... Okay, well, let's get you home, and then probably to the hospital. Again."