Groggy, disorientated, and with the overwhelming taste of shit, vomit, and ash in my mouth. I pull myself to my feet and fall on my arse. I've never been in this state before. My brain is burning inside my skull. "What the fuck?" I can't remember getting home. The last thing I recall is that fucking goat-man swinging his baseball bat at the side of my skull.

It takes me a while to realize that I'm naked. The cold has no effect on me. Even if It did - the intense pounding of my migraine would distract me from anything, even frostbite. I use the couch for support and pull myself to my shaking feet. Breathing slow, I guide myself to the bathroom. Trying not to vomit on the walls, floor and every fucking thing in my path.

"Ah, that's the stuff!"

Emptying my bladder and whistling, I realize despite the hangover I'm better than ever. No hunger, no crippling cramps, no drums pounding in my brain.

Sunrise ... Her dead eyes flash before my mind and it crushes my good mood before it can take root. I fucked up and killed a human. In plain view of my kin for fuck's sake. Sitting on the cold porcelain toilet seat I contemplate my choices. Do I, a former SPF agent, turn myself in? Or do I pray that goat-man will keep shtum?

Bowing my head in shame as I relive the wet heat, and loud moans as I fucked her. Her body spasming in her final moments as I tore open her Jugular, at the height of her orgasm. The muted cry that escaped her lips and the way that her pelvic floor tightened in death. Even dead, I continued to fuck her. I used her, degraded and discarded her dead corpse as if it was nothing.

Kali. What would she say? Would she care that I broke our marital vows? That I murdered a human? Jonathon ... I should've killed myself that night, but I was a coward. I'm still a coward. I hid behind my vengeance and it achieved nothing. I became a monster. The actions of last night revealed that. Standing to find some clothes, I decide penance is the only way. I must pay for my sins. Opening the bedroom door an odor fills my nostrils. Something is wrong. I flick on the bedroom light, but nothing happens.

The bulb must've blown ... but that smell. What is that? Stepping into the room, I pause. The floor is sticky, the odor stronger than ever. I'm so hungover that my eyes can't adjust to the darkness of the room. Holding my breath, I step further into the room and head for the blinds. Blinds drawn, sunlight revealing dust bunnies, I turn and face the true horror that inhabits the room. The source of the smell and the sticky sensation of the floor. Huddled figures, small and bloodied beyond recognition. The bed has so much blood on it that the blood spilled onto the carpet floor. Dead eyes stare at me through the mound of flesh. These are children. Dead Children.

I can't help myself, I empty the contents of my stomach onto the bloody carpet.

I'm a monster, a butcher, and a destroyer of the future. Worse still, I have no recollection of my actions. Eight, eight dead, their names dead alongside their hopes and dreams. Moving within touching distance quashes any desperate fantasy of this being a nightmare - a delusion of born from diminishing sanity. With one finger I prod the dead, blood-soaked flesh of an ankle and know that my reality is real, my sin is real.

Showered, dressed, and seated on the couch I mentally prepare to hand myself in. I don't know how much time has passed. The time since my discovery has lost all meaning. Seconds, minutes, and hours have morphed into one another.

I can already see the look in Kali's eyes when I confess. Anger, and disappointment. But below the surface, happiness, joy at seeing my punishment.

The daydream snaps cut short by banging on my front door.

They've come for me.

Don't be fucking stupid, there's no way that they know what you did.

I did? Don't you mean we?

The silence of my inner-critic taunts me as the bangs on my door increase in both intensity and strength.

"Hold your fucking horses! I'm coming."

They stop as my hand rests on the latch. I could use the spyglass but there's something familiar about those knocks.

Opening the door and seeing her again sends a flutter through my heart. The bags under her hazelnut eyes are a reminder of my crimes against our love. Gone is the smile that used to fill her lips. If I ever believed that we could still have a future after this, the coldness in her eyes and the stiffness in her posture told me otherwise.

"Can I come in?"

Panic rears its ugly head, screaming at me to turn her down, but that would cause a scene. That would be the last thing I need right now.

"Sure, come in."

Walking into the living room, I'm conscious of my entire body. The way I'm sweating, the trembles through my hands and the pounding of my heart.

Seated on the couch across from me is the love of my life, but all I can think about are the bodies in the bedroom. Until she retrieves something very familiar from her purse. My watch, the same one Jonathon bought me for my birthday... I thought it was still on my wrist.

Shit. Last time I saw this was before I entered the club. It must have fallen off me when I was with...

"Do you want to know where I found this?" She asks, watching me for any micro-expression, any subconscious tell.

"Nothing to say?"

She sighs and places it in my hand, our fingers touch and for the smallest of moments, they remain touching. She looks into my eyes, soul-searching before remembering and removing her hand from mine.

"Tell me it was an accident, that you didn't mean to kill her. Tell me anything, anything that changes what I have to do right now."

Bowing my head in shame, I hold my hands out and close my eyes. Tears spill down my cheeks as I obsess about what's in the next room. Waiting, the seconds drag out for an eternity before Kali sighs and I open my eyes.

"Never again, am I clear?"

Confess. You must do it now or she'll never forgive you.

"Kali, I need to show you something and you're not going to like it."

Seconds later, I push open the bedroom door and stand back as she enters the room. Retching and tears in her eyes she stands face to face with me.

"There's nothing left of you, is there?"