I think I would be disappointed

if I went to therapy

and they told me

I didn't have a mental disorder.

Sounds fucked up, right?

Then why does it feel so normal?

that I wanna have an explanation to my problems

that I want an excuse for my fuckups;

stackups of crazed synapsis

I wanna point to my head and be able to say 

"hey, it's 'cause it's broken"

that I wanna feel allowed to feel sad 

in a world that doesn't allow it

that I wanna feel the vulnerability 

and be able to show it

so I spite my legal sanity out of vanity and lack of purpose

despite the right to feel safe and loved and normal

isn't that enough to be a problem?

Am I lost, narcissistic to the bone, or am I really broken?