V A N

I never thought I would receive a text message like that from Liv's mother. 

Hindi mapakali ang utak ko no'ng matanggap ko 'yon. Hindi ba't ayaw pa rin sa 'kin ni Tita? Even calling her Tita still feels wrong. I don't think I deserve to call her that easily. Ano'ng nagpabago ng isip niya?

Sure, Liv said that her mother was changing. But was that enough reason to let me meet her family?

Patuloy ang pagtapik ng aking daliri sa steering wheel. I couldn't wait any longer. Kailangan kong makuha ang sagot sa mga tanong na walang katapusang bumubuo sa isip ko. I didn't know what to feel. Kung tutuusin, mas ninenerbyos ako kaysa natutuwang makikilala ko ang pamilya niya nang pormal. What if this is a trap? Hindi naman sa hindi ko pinagkakatiwalaan si Tita. But considering what happened in the past, the threats she gave me which I had immediately forgiven, my past self would be shocked if I told him I was about to meet Liv's family.

The 2-hour ride to Bataan didn't last long. Wala ring traffic kaya mabilis akong nakarating. It didn't take me long to find their house either. In the street Tita gave me, there was only one house that screamed Villaecija-Esquevada. 'House' wasn't the right term to use. It was a mansion. 

Nang makarating ako sa gate nila, ibinaba ko ang bintana ng aking kotse. "Ano pong business nila dito, sir?" tanong ng gwardya matapos ko mababa ito. 

"Pinapapunta po ako ni Ma'am Celeste," sagot ko. 

His face beamed. "Ah! Ikaw po ba si Sir Van?"

"Correct."

"'Kala ko po van din dadalhin niyo," he said, laughing after. What a joke.

Napansin niya yatang wala akong naging reaksyon sa joke niya. "Joke lang po, Sir. Sige po, pasok na po kayo. Roon na lang po kayo mag-park," aniya, sabay turo sa bakanteng espasyo na tapat ng kanilang hardin. 

Bumaba na ako ng kotse pagka-park ko sa loteng tinuro sa 'kin. Unang tingin pa lang sa labas ay nalula na ako sa laki nito. Roaming around, I noticed there were many doors that led inside of the house. Though, it wouldn't take a second to know that the biggest door located in the front is the main one. 

I strolled my way there, mentally preparing myself for what was about to come. I came without any expectations. Just go with the flow. 

Pinindot ko ang door bell na nakalagay sa gilid ng pinto. Mga ilang segundo ay nakita kong may paparating. It was a maid, followed by a figure of a woman that looked familiar. Nasa likod siya no'ng maid kaya hindi ko nakita ang buong mukha. The maid was tall, and so was she. 

The door opened, and I was welcomed by the figure I saw earlier. It was only then that I realized it belonged to Liv's mother. 

I fixed my posture, standing upright, as if putting on a confident mask when in fact I was scared as hell. My height almost equaled hers, but Tita was a few inches smaller. Despite being taller, I felt small in front of her. 

"You're here," she commented, keeping an expression I didn't know how to interpret. It was... expressionless. The same face I used to make before I met her daughter. 

She did not wait for me to answer her. Nauna na siyang maglakad matapos sabihin sa 'kin na sundan ko siya. Hindi napigilan ng mga mata kong ikutin ang loob nito. Pag pasok pa lamang ay makikita mo na agad ang napakalawak na hagdan at napakalaking chandelier sa kisame. I've only seen houses like these in movies or TV series. I never thought I would see one myself. 

Her steps halted in front of a door; I wasn't sure what room it was or where she led me. I stayed behind her back, waiting for her to do or say something. 

"Just so you know," she started without looking at me. "I still haven't gotten the chance to like you. I consider you a stranger in this house. I'm only doing this for my mother's sake. And also Liv's. I don't want to see her suffer any longer."

I nodded slowly, unsure of where this conversation was going. "I understand po, Ma'am. I know I still have to redeem myself."

She faced me, her eyes scanning me from head to toe. She looked hesitant. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin ngunit hinid niya matuloy. 

"Let's go," was the only thing she said before knocking on the door and entering.

As the door opened, their whole family came into view. 

It was the house's great room, where guests and the family gathered. Well, that was what I knew. Liv's grandmother was seated in a wheelchair, next to the sofa where Ate Giovann and Kuya Miles were seated. Liv was also there, seated on a sofa chair on the side. All of them shifted their attention to us as we started to walk toward them. Her grandmother gave us a beaming smile, but despite that, I sensed something was wrong. 

Liv's mother took the seat beside her while I sat on the chair opposite them. I didn't know what to do. Should I introduce myself first or let them instruct me when? Hindi ko alam ang sitwasyon dito kaya hindi ko alam kung ano ang aking iaasta. 

"How is she?" bulong ni Tita kay Liv. 

"She remembers everything." It took me three words from Liv to know what was wrong. 

Her grandmother has Alzheimer's.

She was the one to break the silence. "We finally meet you formally, Van."

"Nice to meet you po," I answered, standing up para mag-mano sa kanya. Was that the right response to her greeting? 

Hindi ko alam kung paano ngunit napatawa siya sa 'king sagot nang makaupo ako. "You don't have to be timid! Relax ka lang. Call me Mama Dalia. You'll be part of the family soon, anyway." With that, I saw Ate Giovann and her spouse smirking, while Liv bowed her head slightly, flustered. 

Before I could let out some sort of reaction, Tita cleared her throat. Liv's grandmother took it as a sign to stop where the conversation was going. She lightly tapped Tita's shoulder, saying, "Oh, come on, Celeste. 'Wag kang KJ! Future husband ng bunso mo kausap natin."

As I heard that, it made me wish. I wished I have met her grandmother earlier. How can someone make me feel welcome so easily? She had a knack for making people comfortable. Ease the mood. Just like Liv.

Tita mumbled an apology. "Sorry, Mama."

"Maiba tayo. Iho, what year are you now? You look mature. Are you around Liv's age?" It was just a simple question but it made me feel something. She looked genuinely curious. 

"I'm in my first year of med school po. And, no po. I'm actually three years older than Liv," I replied, choosing my words carefully.

"Hmm...If you're three years older, shouldn't you be second year na? Umulit ka ba, iho?"

I nodded. "I shifted po. Previously, I was studying civil engineering. Although, I wasn't happy with the program. So, uh, I changed to psychology a year after."

"Ay sayang naman. May engineer na sana kami sa pamilya," she joked, earning a short laugh from Liv, her sister, and Kuya Miles. The mood was light, but I still couldn't smile. To say I wasn't tense would be a lie. Everything that was happening around me felt like a dream. It was too good to be true. Hindi ko na ba kailangan lumaban? 

It seemed like we'd reached the end of the bumpy road Liv and I was taking. Lahat madali. 

Ngunit ano'ng kapalit?

Liv's grandmother, Mama Dalia as she ordered me to call her, asked me a bunch of questions about what I do, what my family does, and what I plan on doing in the future. Kung balak ko bang magtrabaho agad at kung saan. It was a series of personal questions that I gladly answered. If it has come to this, then it's only right to be honest. 

The room remained lively as we chatted. Only until Tita Celeste spoke. Her voice 

"I never really got to hear it from you. How deep your love is. What made you love my daughter so much? Na kahit pilit kong pinaghiwalay kayo noon, siya pa rin?"

Liv tried to stop her. "Mother..." she called. I gave her a look, reassuring her that it will be okay. 

"The feeling I have for your daughter surpasses love. I never thought that would be possible but with Liv, the impossible becomes possible. She changed my life, Ma'am. For the better. She showed me there's beauty in the harsh world we live in. The harsh world I grew up in. She made me believe I was capable of love when I thought I'd gone numb. She made me feel things. Experience things I haven't before. And for that, I'm truly grateful."

I continued, even if all of their eyes were on me. "She turned my world into something suffocating when she's not in it. She's the air I breathe; without her I'm nothing. And if the pursuit of that came, I wouldn't hesitate. Not even a single beat of my heart that screams her name." Gagawin ko kahit mahirap. Kahit sa tingin ng iba'y 'di ko kaya.

"That's what Liv made me, Ma'am. What my love for her made me. As someone who wouldn't get tired of taking risks, because, in the end, she's worth it."

She will always be worth it.

I heard Kuya Miles whistled. "Wew, that's deep," he mumbled, though loud enough to be heard. Ate Giovann smacked his thigh, as if saying it wasn't the time to make jokes like that. "Just saying, hun."

I looked at their reactions one by one. Liv, as usual, had that gentle look on her face, rosy cheeks blooming in red. Her sister and Kuya Miles smiled in satisfaction from my answer. Their grandmother, however, was frowning. But it wasn't a sad frown. More like a frown people make when their hearts are melted by something so genuine, so passionate. 

My eyes turned to Tita Celeste; her reaction was the one I awaited the most. 

And certainly the one I didn't expect the most.

Her eyes were glistening. I was unsure if it was because of the reflection of the light or tears were forming. Though, it was confirmed to be the latter when she turned her head away to wipe her lower eyelid as a tear fell down. 

Why was she crying? Did I say something bad?

"I have to excuse myself," she said, standing up and storming outside the room. Everyone had the same look on their faces: Confused. 

My meeting with Liv's family ended abruptly when her mother left. With nothing to do, Liv's grandmother offered a tour of their mansion. However, both Liv and Ate Giovann refused to let her as she needed to rest more. In the end, it was Liv who accompanied me. 

"Sorry about earlier. Hindi a masyadong personal 'yong tinanong nila sa 'yo kanina?" Liv spoke in the middle of our little sally to their backyard. We were standing side by side. I couldn't resist the urge to hold her hands as we walk but I felt like I shouldn't do it here. 

Umuling ako. "Not really, love. I haven't thought of it that way." 

"Really?" 

"Really. It's normal to be curious of the guy your granddaughter is seeing, isn't it?" 

She let out a chuckle, her hand covering her mouth as she did. "You have a point."

Nakarating na kami sa kanilang backyard. Doon, ginugol namin ang oras ng nakaupo't nag-uusap ng kung anong bagay, pilit na inaalis sa isip kung ano na ang sunod na mangyayari sa 'min. Now that I'm accepted in the family, can we publicly date without any worries?

Pinanood namin ang paglubog ng araw--isa sa mga hilig gawin ni Liv. It reminded me of the time we we're dating. Most of our dates were watching the sunset. Sa mga araw naman na hindi namin napapanood nang magkasama ay kumukuha ako ng litrato nito at saka ipapakita sa kanya. She would also take a picture of the sunset where she was at and send it to me. That way, it would feel like we were together.

"Do you think we can now be together? It was sudden, eh. Parang ang suspicious, don't you think?" she asked, turning her head to face me. She had a worried look when our eyes met. So hindi lang pala ako ang nakaisip no'n.

"We have to trust your mother, my love. Maybe...this is our time. Let's think positively, yeah?" It was funny how our personalities interchanged at that moment. Liv always had a positive outlook in life while I, on the other hand, never looked the bright side. 

The moment was disrupted when a voiced filled the silence that once enveloped us. "Ma'am Liv. Sir Van. Tawag po kayo ni Ma'am Celeste. Kitain niyo raw po siya sa kanyang office," ani ng isa sa kanilang maid. Namukhaan kong siya 'yong nagbukas ng pinto sa 'kin no'ng nakarating ako rito.

Sa aming pagpunta ay napatanong ako sa 'king sarili. Ano kayang sasabihin sa 'min ni Tita na kinailanagn namin siyang kausapin sa kanyang opisina? Was it something confidential that we had to meet her privately?

Nanatili kaming nakatayo nang ilang segundo sa harap ng kanyang opisina. Tila parang hindi handa sa kung anong mangyayari sa loob ng kwartong iyon.

Tiningnan ako ni Liv. "It will be okay. You have me," paalala niya habang pinisil ang aking kamay. 

"I know. And you have me too."

Sa aming pagpasok ay nakita namin si Tita na nakaupo't nagsusulat. From afar, I couldn't see the content of the paper she's writing on but I suspect it was work papers, considering the stacks of paper on her side. 

"Take a seat," she ordered. She only said three words but the air was already thick inside the room. 

Silence passed by momentarily when she spoke once more. Facing me, she said, "I believe I owe you an apology."

This day was a series of unexpected turn of events. It was unbelievable how her statement alone could pierce through that thick air, making it less suffocating. 

Looking at it from an outsider's point of view, I deserved that apology. To be threatened when you have nothing else to give was below the belt. Inspite of that, I had already forgiven Tita for forcing us to break our relationship back then. I only knew she was only doing it for Liv's sake. But hearing it? I felt like I could burst into tears. 

"No'ng narinig ko kung ga'no mo kamahal si Liv, it made me pondered things. How could I break something so...genuine? You didn't deserve any treatment I gave you back then."

She then faced Liv. "You didn't deserve any of that my dear." She extended her arms, reaching for Liv's hand which she eagerly took. 

Her eyes went back to me. "I sincerely apologize for threatening you and your family. I-I didn't know what got me back then. I was blinded that I couldn't even see I was hurting Liv and an innocent man who only did was love my daughter."

She shut her eyes closed and bit her lip. Mukha siyang nagdadalawang-isip sa kanyang sunod na sasabihin. 

She opened them again, seeming less hesitant as before. But it was evidently still there. 

"And I'm sorry for what I'm about to propose to both of you."

Ito na ba ang kapalit?

She unlatched her hands from Liv's hold. As she rested both her palms on the table she continued, "I promise I won't meddle in your relationship after I make this request. I really do."

The pause after that had me gripping on the edge of my seat. 

"But I have to break you off. Just...one last time."

I knew it. 

"What? But Mother!" Liv exclaimed as she stood up from her seat.

"Sit down. I am not yet done explaining."

Before Liv could retort back, I held her hand and gave her a reassuring look. I believe Tita had a reason why.

Her mother started to explain once she had taken her seat. 

"You'll be in med school soon, dear. Parehas na kayong med student no'n. You both know how cruel med school is, right? I bet Van knows how hard it is to get through, even first year palang siya." 

Huminga siya nang malalim bago muling nagsalita. "I know your love is strong. Believe me, I do. Pero hindi mawawala na darating kayo sa puntong mawawalan na kayo ng oras sa isa't isa. Alam kong maunawain kayong dalawa. Both of you are strong, but I want to save both of you from heartbreak when time comes na hindi niyo na kaya."

"Kaya please, I beg both of you. Please do my last request."

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