L I V

Mornings were always my thing. The sound of the birds singing, the coldness of every sunrise, and the sunrise itself always made me at peace. 

It was the morning of the 3rd of November, the day of Mother's arrival here in the Philippines. I was happy that Mother decided to visit here despite having her schedule packed. But at the same time, it saddened me how Father wouldn't be able to attend my birthday this coming 5th. Being on the same plane with his ex-wife can surely be awkward. Especially how badly their relationship ended. 

I was only twelve when I witnessed the endless spar of their words, with each piercing my heart and soul. At that age, I knew they wouldn't last long, and I had to choose which parent I should go to. I had always been the daddy's girl but I thought being with my mother was the right choice. My sister thought so too. 

I stood up and dragged my feet away from the gazebo where I usually spend my mornings, shaking the feeling of longing to be with my father again. We lost contact for over a year now. Ni hindi nga siya pumunta sa despedida ko no'ng nasa Australia pa ako. Minsan nga, napapaisip na lang ako kung bakit hindi siya nagparamdam sa 'min pero 'yong mga kapatid niya ay oo. Para bang walang nangyari. Their fondness for Mother might be the reason why. 

I glanced at my wristwatch and read that it was half-past 6. With that, I dashed upstairs, remembering we have to be at the airport by seven-forty to fetch Mother. Ate and Kuya Miles would definitely sleep in if I wouldn't wake them up. Tulog-mantika ba naman 'yong dalawa! Of course, we were going to be late!

"Ate, gising na kayo! It's already 6:30!" sigaw ko sa may pintuan habang kumakatok. Nagising sila sa aking tawag dahil narinig ko ang langitngit ng kanilang kama. Mga ilang segundo rin ang nakalipas bago nila buksan ang pinto. Bumungad sa 'kin ang aking ate na nagkakamot ng kanyang kanang mata.

"What time did you say it was?" tanong niya.

Tumingin ako uli sa aking relo. "Well, it's 6:31 AM now. We have to be by the airport by 7:40, no! Mother will probably arrive here by 8," sagot ko. 

Ate walked passed me and Kuya Miles followed. "You're too excited," she remarked, still yawning. 

I wasn't sure which excited me more: Mother's arrival or the gift she told me about the other day. Probably...the latter. This was why I kind of hate surprises; the feeling of curiosity just kills me. I wonder what gift it is. 

Kahit na sabi ni Ate na masyado pang maaga para mag-ayos ay mabilis din silang nagbihis. Nang matapos sila ay agad na kaming pumasok sa kotse para pumunta sa airport. Sana nga lang ay makarating kami sa tamang oras. Mother's patience may sometimes be as short as the word itself. 

Hindi rin nagtagal ay nakarating kami sa airport nang nasa oras. Agad kaming pumunta sa waiting area para tingnan kung naroon na ba si Mom, ngunit wala pa kaming nakita. 

"Told you. You're too excited. Tingnan mo ang aga pa," ani ni Ate nang nakangisi. Ngumuso ako't nag-iwas ng tingin. We're definitely not early. Ang dami na ring tao dito, oh! Baka na-delay lang ang flight niya. 

Tama nga ang hinuha ko na baka nahuli sila dahil ilang oras na ang nakalipas ay saka lang namin natanaw ang anyong nagmumula sa 'king nanay. Tinapik ni Ate ang aking balikat para lumapit doon at salubingin siya. Ngunit sa 'ming paglapit ay kumitid ang aking mga mata para tingnan kung tama ba aking nakita. May kasama siyang iba? 

Nang matanto ko kung sino ang taong nasa tabi ni Mom ay nanlaki ang aking mata. Deretso akong tumakbo patungo sa kanila nang hindi nabahala sa mga matang nakatingin sa 'kin. Tumingin si Mom sa aking direkysyon nang marinig niya ang aking pagtakbo. Bubuksan na niya sana ang kanyang bibig upang magsalita ngunit patuloy akong tumungo sa taong nasa tabi niya.

I let out a squeal before wrapping my arms around Val's nape, his arms encircling my waist while he hoisted me up. I giggled at the thought of us looking like idiots who probably never seen each other in a decade when in fact it was only months. As he put me down, I lightly punched his shoulders. 

"Hey! You never told me you were coming!" I complained but all I got was a laugh from him.

I heard Mother clearing her throat beside me, realizing I just acted improperly in public. I stiffened and fixed my posture as I faced her. "Now, that's a way of greeting me, young lady," I heard her say in a tone I'm not sure of. Is she mad? Is she being sarcastic? Gosh, this is making me anxious. 

I felt a slight relief as she opened her arms and smiled. "Why does Val get the first hug, huh? Nakakatampo," she joked. My lips formed a smile while I hugged her by the waist as I couldn't reach her nape. She was taller than me, anyway. 

Giving me a last squeeze, she finally pulled away. "I'm assuming you liked my gift," ani niya.

"Ah, so this is the gift she was constantly asking me about," rinig kong pang-aasar ni Ate nang makalapit sila sa 'min. I turned to face Mother for confirmation which I found in her smile. 

"It is. I invited Val to come with us para makauwi na rin siya sa kanyang magulang dito," paliwanag niya habang niyayakap si Ate at hinalikan sa pisngi. Si Val nama'y tahimik na nakatayo't 'di umaalis ang ngiti sa labi. Gayundin ako. 

Hindi kami kagad umuwi para magpahinga. Mother thought it would be nice to hang out first since it was still early in the morning, which I found exciting. It had been a while since we had a get-together like this. 

After deciding to go to BGC to eat, we entered Kuya Miles's car. Mother already placed herself in the front seat, leaving the back seat for us. Sunod namang pumasok si Ate. Hindi kami pumasok agad ni Val at nag-agawan pa kami kung sino ang uupo sa isang window seat. Si Ate na kasi ang nanguna sa kabila. 

"This is our car, Val. 'Wag kang desisyon," biro kong pagtataray sa kanya. Nilabas ko ang aking dila para siya'y asarin. 

"You're such a kid!" sagot niya habang umiirap. 

"And you're not? Isang taon lang gap natin, noh!"

Narinig ni Ate ang aming alitan kaya nama'y binaba niya ang bintana ng kotse. "Uy, kayong dalawa, pumasok na nga kayo rito! Halika na Liv, dito ka na sa pwesto ko," sabi ni Ate. Alam niyang hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ko nakukuha ang window seat. That's one of the perks of being the bunso. 

Tinawanan ko ang pagnguso ni Val nang ibigay ni Ate ang kanyang pwesto sa 'kin. In the end, siya ang nasa gitna namin. 

Nakalipas na ang kalahating oras ay hindi pa rin kami malapit sa BGC. Nakatulog na si Ate dahil sa tagal. Narinig ko naman ang halinghing ni Mom sa harap dahil sa haba ng traffic. Gutom na yata siya kaya't inalok ko ang extra kong in-order na McBurger sa kanya. 

Matapos kunin ni Mom ang burger sa kamay ko ay tinapik ko ang hita ni Van. "You want?" tanong ko nang inalok ko ang nakalahati kong burger sa kanya. Hindi ko 'to naubos dahil marami rin akong nakain bago habang naghihintay sa kanila. Tiningnan niya ako na para bang nagtatanong kung puwede itong kunin. Nilagay ko na lang ang burger sa kanyang kamay nang hindi siya sumagot. 

Nag-cellphone na lang ako para aliwin ang sarili ko. Binuksan ko ang Instagram at ini-swipe ito pakanan para gumawa ng bagong story. Tinawag ko ang pangalan ni Val para kunin ang kanyang atensyon. 

"Let's take a picture," aya ko. Tinaas ko ang aking phone para kunin ang litrato pero nakita kong hindi pa ready si Val.

"Teka lang! Kumakain 'yong tao eh!" Too late for him, nakuha ko na 'yong picture. I chuckled as soon as my eyes landed on the picture I took. May laman pa ang bunganga ni Val at nakakunot ang noo. Mukhang ewan!

"Hey! Delete that," utos niya. 

"I don't want to! Ayaw mo 'yon? Candid picture!"

"Kung hindi mo lang birthday sa susunod na mga araw kanina pa kita siguro na headlock."

Hindi ko rin naman ito ini-story at ayaw ko siyang magalit sa 'kin. Pikunin pa naman! Kumuha na lang kami ng bago kung saan maayos na ang mukha niya. Sumama na rin si Ate.

Lumabas na kami ng kotse nang makarating kami. I stretched my back and my arms as I stepped out. "Ugh! Finally!"

Medyo natagalan kami sa BGC at naglibut-libot pa kami matapos kumain para mapababa ang sandamakamak naming kinain. I felt bloated throughout the walk. Sumakit din ang aking tagiliran sa dami ng nakain. Nang 'di ko na mapigilan ang sakit, napagdesisyunan naming umuwi na lang. 

Sa amin muna natulog si Val kinagabihan. Ang plano ay dadalo lang siya sa 'king birthday bago siya ihahatid sa probinsya nila. May guest room naman kami sa bahay kaya pinalinis namin sa mga yaya na nagtatrabaho roon ang kwartong pagtutulugan niya. Tumulong na rin ako para mapadali pa ang trabaho nila ngunit bigla akong tinawag ni Ate.

"Mom's calling you. Punta ka raw sa office niya." Punta ka raw sa office niya. That sentence alone made me feel anxious, just like what I felt in the airport earlier. I love Mother, that's a fact, but I wouldn't say I like these instances where I felt I did something wrong. I felt like I wasn't being good enough. That office of hers has many memories of her scolding me back in the past. 

I know her strictness for me to do good in everything will just benefit me in the future. That was what I always think as mothers know best, don't they? 

I couldn't stop the fidgeting of my fingers as I made my way through her office. I could feel my breathing becomes labored when I realized it would only take a few more steps to reach there. 

Wala naman akong ginawang mali, hindi ba? I haven't broken any of her rule naman. Bakit ako pinapatawag?

Breathe, Liv. You can do this! Psh, it's just mother!

I knocked on the door and waited for her signal for me to open the door. She had always disliked it when people enter a room without knocking. It's an invasion of privacy, she liked to think.

"Come in!" I heard her shout. As a cue, I opened the door and stepped inside.

"Tawag mo raw po ako?" agad kong tanong sa 'king pagpasok. Nang mapansin na niya ang aking presensya ay itinaas niya ang kanyang ulo para tingnan ako. Suot-suot niya ng kanyang ngiting lagi kong nakikita sa tuwing bumibili siya ng kanyang paboritong Chanel bags. Isa lang ang kahulugan nito; good mood siya ngayon.

Lumuwag ang loob ko. Buti na lang at hindi yata ako papagalitan ngayon. Tama. Wala naman kasi akong ginawang mali! 

Tinanggal niya ang kanyang salamin at inilapag ito sa kanyang lamesa. "Ah, yes darling. Upo ka," utos niyang sinunod ko kagad. Umupo ako sa itim na wingback sofa sa tapat niya. 

"Gusto lang naman kita ikamusta, my dear. Hindi rin tayo nakapag-usap nang matino kanina gawa nga ng pagkasakit ng tiyan mo. Are you okay na ba?" pag-aalala niya. 

"Yes po! I'm good as new," sagot ko habang hindi tinatanggal ang aking ngiti sa labi. "Hindi na  po siya masakit."

Tumango siya't nagpatuloy. "That's good to hear. Sige, dear, tell me about how your past months have been. Sabi mo 'di ba you met someone new? Tell me more about them."

"OMG, sure po!" When my friends came into the picture, I shifted my position to face her more. "So, we met po on the first day of class. 'Di ba sabi ko po noon sa inyo na walang pumapansin po sa akin pero that was short-lived lang since they said 'hi' to me! That started our conversation and habang tumagal po, we became close!" I exclaimed with full enthusiasm. 

"So, we have the oldest, Stacy. She really takes care of us like a mom. She's so mature! I'm guessing it's because she's the panganay kaya ayon. Then we have Lexi and Adi who have the same age as mine. They're like twins! Not that they look alike but their vibes just match and they really complement each other. They're very extroverted so there's not a single day that's not fun!"

Mother let out a short chuckle after hearing the zealous introduction of my friends. "Oh! You should meet them on my birthday! I invited them," huli kong pagsabi.

"It would be lovely to meet them," she replied. This was of the rarest time where I actually spent a good time just chatting with Mother in her office. Mostly, it comprises of bad memories from my childhood. Everything felt light and cheery, making it so easy for my words to flow out without thinking about them.

Throughout our chats, the plastered smile on my lips never left, but not long enough when I saw something placed on her desk. It was my report card. Had she been reading it? I planned to show it once she's here, but I'm guessing Ate took it from my room and gave it to her in advance. 

My grades were high but not high enough to meet Mother's standards. "You saw my report card..." I said, stating the obvious.

Mother removed the arm that was covering the paper. "Oh, this?" she said as she held my card. "Yes. I asked your sister earlier to get it from you when you were out resting." 

She looked at my card once more, as if reading and scrutinizing it for the first time. "Quite low don't you think? Two 95s and one 96?"

Ah. I know what comes after this.

Before giving her the chance to compare me again to my sister, which I got a lot, I uttered, "Uhm...It may not be as high as what Ate got when she was my age but I can assure you that I can improve that next quarter. There are still three quarters left and you can expect that all my grades are 98 and above. I promise!" I tried to breathe in the end when I realized I just spoke too fast without stopping. 

She frowned. Why is she frowning? "I haven't said anything, dear." She set the paper down before our eyes came in contact again. "I understand why you're grades are like this, Liv. You're still adjusting and that's okay!"

"Yeah...I-I'm just adjusting! Just like you said." I sighed when I noticed Mother wasn't mad. Hindi ko alam kung nakailang buntong-hininga na ako ngayong araw. 

"But I'll have you remember that in the next quarters, this is not tolerable. Okay?" she warned which I took seriously.

I gave her a nod and drew a cross across my chest. "Cross my heart, Mother. That won't happen again."

I can't afford to have another scolding from her, of course, I won't let it happen again. I'm her perfect little girl after all. I can't make mistakes.

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