Jeongin loves you.

That is an absolute, undisputable and undoubtable fact.

Everyone who knows you two, knows this as well.

You've been each other's firsts in everything. First crush, first embrace, first kiss, first late-night fuck, but most importantly, first love. Neither of you believed in that silly saying about how the first love is certainly going to end badly, that it never works out, so you never believed that Jeongin will also be your first heartbreak.

In fact, the thought never even passed through your head. You didn't even consider it a possibility.

So, you were totally unprepared.

You both met when you were children, and clicked instantly, no matter how much the kids at school made fun of you for holding hands in 6th grade. It was embarrassing, but you already knew you loved Jeongin, so you could stand through every trial the young adult life put you through.

The first and only problem in your relationship came when he was 16 and told you he wants to do something more with his life, to leave the small, quiet mountain town you both grew up in, and to pursue a career in the music industry. He was a talented singer, and you always complimented his voice when he sang you love ballads, and that gave him the courage he needed to audition.

You were happy, and you supported him unconditionally and encouraged him to do it. You knew he could, even when he wasn't sure of it himself. You just knew he had it in him, and that he was made for greater things that this small town could offer him.

You were there when he heard back from this big company in Seoul called JYP Entertainment, you held his hand booking train tickets together so that he can go through the final trial that ultimately got him in, and you were there, in the hotel room, waiting for his practice to end so that you can hug and congratulate him for proving you what you already knew: that he could do whatever he set his heart to.

You are still here today, 5 years later, in your shared apartment he bought for the two of you.

When he got accepted in the company, you didn't know how you were going to do it. Both of you were still in high school, but you decided to move with him to Seoul, where you didn't know anyone, to get a job to be able to support you living there as well since Jeongin was not getting paid much at first, and you two kept being together, no matter how successful he got.

He loves you. You know it. You are sure of it. It just doesn't feel like he loves you that much lately, though, since you are damned to spend yet another anniversary alone. Dinner already got cold on the table, his wine glass stayed untouched while you emptied and refilled yours for at least 5 times now, but what hurts the most is glancing at your phone, empty of any messages to at least acknowledge the fact that you've been together for exactly 12 years.

It hurts.

~

What Jeongin is doing right now in one of the bathroom stalls at work would make anyone question his love for you, but ever since he met you when you were 10, and even now, 12 years later, he's been in love with you, undoubtedly so. You're still the reason he gets up in the morning, his favourite person, and the one he wants to grow old with.

Why is he doing this?

Why is he letting this intern choke on his dick while he rolls his head back and moans in pleasure?

Why is he pushing her head down and caressing her face lovingly, encouraging her that she can, indeed, take it, even if her whole face is smeared with make-up and snot and she's clearly struggling?

Why is he loving the sounds she makes when she also moans in pleasure deep-throating him, the string of saliva uniting her tongue and his dick when she removes her face to take a few breaths, and the way she grips his hips to support herself on the ground?

It's hard to explain.

You were his first, and that was enough in the small mountain town. It was enough the first 3 years when his team was struggling with their debut and the many comebacks. You were there, you comforted him, and you stayed by his side no matter how hard he unloaded his disappointment, frustrations, or insecurities onto you. Whatever he would tell you, you always had the right words that would make him feel better and that would keep him going.

But something's changed in the past 2 years. His band was finally starting to become successful, people started to notice him, and he loved it. This was, after all, the sole reason why he wanted to get out of the town: to make a name for himself, to be seen by others.

With all this new-found attention, he found himself surrounded by many beautiful girls who would give their all to just get 5 minutes of his time, and he found himself become curious.

He was young and successful, he won't always be in his twenties, and who knows how long this attention was going to last?

He loved it. But he also loved you. There was an undeniable conflict inside his heart regarding you vs. all the girls he could have fun with, so he started to put boundaries. He never let himself get caught in situations where he would spend time one-on-one with someone he was attracted to, but his defences quickly failed seeing that his bandmates wouldn't follow the same rules and had fun anytime they wanted, and he got jealous.

He envied his friends for not having someone waiting for him at home, for being able to live the way they wanted to and have fun with anyone and anywhere, no strings attached.

He found himself wanting it as well more and more, and besides, you were always going to be there for him. You were the one he was going to grow white with, so a little fun he has with someone random you wouldn't even find out of would inevitably satisfy his primal urges and would not hurt anyone.

Plus, it's not like he's emotionally cheating on you. He loves you, that much he knows, and he found it out again and again each time he came home after having sex with a random bimbo. You were still the one he wanted to come back to, so he started building all sorts of thoughts and ideas in his head that would justify his unfaithfulness. He's never seen the same girl twice, and he never let anyone else find out of his rendezvous, because he wanted everyone to know and respect you as his one and only girl.

~

You wish you didn't know. Fuck, you truly wish. You wish you'd stayed oblivious, because now that you know, there's no way to take it back.

You were still waiting for him sat down at your failed anniversary dinner table in your empty apartment, with no text whatsoever letting you know that he's going to be late.

It's true that you didn't specifically mention anything about the anniversary, but you did make plans to meet up at 8 in your apartment, so where was he? You didn't expect him to forget.

He wasn't supposed to have anything else tonight. Sure, Stray Kids won a prize in the morning, and there was supposed to be an after party or something, but he promised you that he will come spend the evening with you, so where was he?

You didn't know.

So you called.

And called.

And called.

And only on the 4th call, almost one hour later, he picked up.

Only he didn't answer intentionally.

"Jeongin?" You asked, your voice hopeful. Maybe he wanted to celebrate with his teammates a bit, that's why he was running late.

You only heard small moans on the other side, but still, the thought of him cheating was impossible to you, so you assumed it was just bad signal.

"Baby? Can you hear me?" You asked again and listened closely to the other line.

"Oh God, just like that." You heard Jeongin's voice, and froze.

"Does that feel good?" The voice of a girl echoed through your ear, and you heard your boyfriend moan in pleasure.

You almost dropped your phone from the shaking of your hands.

"Jeongin...?" You asked again to no avail.

"Yes baby, you're so good at this." He praised whoever was there with him.

"You're so big, fuck, I've never had someone stretch me as good as you do."

"You're doing so well, love. Come on, move faster."

"Am I your girl?"

"Of course." He moaned. "Who else? And what a good girl you are..."

No.

This was not happening.

No way this is Jeongin.

You looked at the caller ID, and your heart fell out of your chest again when you saw that you didn't call someone else by mistake.

No.

"I wish you would cum in me, baby" The girl whined. "Can't we take off the condom?"

"No... I told you I can't do it, love..."

"But Innie, I want you to fill me..."

No.

No way.

You hastily closed the call and felt your breathing become ragged, a panic attack creeping in. The walls were getting closer, and you tried to stand up from the table, but managed to fall down somehow, your knees giving in, knocking your empty glass wine off the table onto the floor and breaking it in the process.

There were glass shards all over the floor, as you sobbed on your knees and bled from the few small cuts on your arms from the debris.

You didn't even feel them, for the pain in your heart was too powerful. Your stomach became a knot, and you felt yourself become dizzy, wanting nothing more than to throw up.

What is happening?

Why...?

Why is this happening to me...?

What are you supposed to do now?

You sobbed and sobbed and couldn't remember how you got the phone from the table in your hands, and dialled someone, one of your only friends ever since coming here, who happened to be one of Jeongin's bandmates.

"Ari, love, what's up?" Seungmin replied cheerfully after a few rings, loud music in the background.

You felt bad for calling him. Of course he was celebrating the prize they just received in the morning.

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything.

"Wait, let me get out of here, I can't hear anything." He continued, and after a few seconds, it was almost quiet on the other side, faint sounds from the party he just left being heard.. "Kay, I'm out, how did the dinner go? Did you manage to burn the steak?" He asked you mockingly, and you started sobbing again, loudly.

Your heart was breaking, and you didn't know what to do, what to say, or how to externalise how destroyed you were feeling.

You told Seungmin a few days ago that your anniversary was coming soon, and he seemed so happy for you, he even sent you his favourite steak recipe for you to cook and surprise Jeongin with.

All of it was in vain.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you crying? Did the idiot do something?!" your friend seemed alarmed. "Ari, please say something, your silence is worrying me."

You gathered all the force you had left in you and breathed in deeply, before finally telling him what happened.

"Min... please... help me." You cried. "He's- oh, God. He's cheating on me."

"WHAT?!" Seungmin shouted, unable to believe his ears. "No, this can't be..." He shook his head, denying. It was impossible. Jeongin loves you.

"Please... please help me. I don't think... I can go through this on my own..."

Seungmin ran as fast as he could and grabbed a cab, trying to calm you down as much as possible over the phone. He started telling you all sorts of stories from his childhood during the 20-minute ride to your apartment, he shared funny things that happened when he was in school, and he tried to distract you from your feelings somehow. You weren't saying anything, but your sobs have quieted down, so he knew that he at least managed to keep you there, as composed as possible, while he was on the way.

He knew your door code; him and Jeongin were best friends, after all, and he was also very close to you himself. He didn't view you as "Jeongin's girlfriend". For him, you were just as important, and you were your own, individual person that he got to know and love during the 5 years he's been within JYPE, and he admired you a lot for your bubbly personality and for how you'd always wear your heart on your sleeve.

He let himself in and ran towards the kitchen, seeing you on your knees on the floor, small shards of glass around you.

One of your hands was bleeding a bit, and you kept your face down, phone still pressed on your ear.

You were a mess.

He's never seen you like this.

You didn't notice him getting inside the house. You weren't able to hear or see anymore. You just felt. And you felt too much.

"Ari?" Seungmin ran to you, taking you into his embrace and holding onto you, as if to wake you up somehow. Your phone fell out of your hand and your arms wrapped around his neck, so he took this chance to pick you up.

You were dressed nicely, in a beautiful red knee-length dress. Seungmin didn't understand how Jeongin could do this to you, who were so perfect, who supported him unconditionally, to the point of moving 5 hours away from the only home you knew to a foreign city where you barely found any friends to hang out with, always too busy making sure that you abided by Jeongin's schedule so you could spend as much time as possible with him.

He couldn't understand and didn't want to believe it, but seeing you like this made it clear that you were telling the truth.

He took you to the bathroom to clean you up and bandage the small wounds on your arms and he tried to ask you about what happened.

"I called him... and he answered accidentally. He was... fucking someone." You clarified between sobs.

"No way..."

"I couldn't believe it either... What did I do wrong, Min?" You asked, almost in a whisper.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't blame yourself." He replied, gaze cold, as all respect he once held towards Jeongin, who was closest to him in age, was gone.

"What do I do?" You asked again, panic lacing your tone. "I don't know where to go... but I can't stay here."

"Let's pack your clothes... we'll go to my place."

"Min, what if he comes back while we pack?" You cried. You couldn't see Jeongin again. After what he did to you, he didn't deserve even that.

Maybe that made you vengeful, but he deserved to get his heart broken by your absence, just as much as you got yours by his cheating, that is, if he even loved you at all.

You started to doubt it. How could anyone that loves you do this to you? He was supposed to be your person. And you were supposed to be his one and only.

All love went down the drain, heartbreak taking its place.

"Okay, you know what? Screw it." Seungmin helped you stand up. "We'll just... buy new clothes, you don't need to take anything with you. Let's go."

Seungmin grabbed your hand and dragged you out, when he noticed your wallet on the small cabinet near the door. He grabbed it, before continuing to get you two out of the apartment. You glanced back once more before he closed the door, and the place that once held so much warmth in your soul, now simply felt cold and empty.

~

Jeongin always thought you would be there.

As soon as he was done chasing his pleasure for the night, he jumped into a cab, wanting to come home to you.

Your anniversary was tomorrow, so you would probably be surprised to see him come by earlier. He took the next day off just to spend the whole time with you, and he had many things prepared. He wanted to take you out on a nice dinner and felt that he was finally ready to give you the one thing you've been hoping for since you were young.

He bought a ring, ordered a big bouquet of flowers, and had the next day ready to the notch to make it the most memorable anniversary. You deserved this much and more.

Once he got out of the cab, he started leisurely walking towards your apartment building. He was feeling so good, like he was on top of the world. He loved having the best of both worlds, messing around and then having someone to come home to that loved him unconditionally.

Except, this time, you weren't there.

The deafening silence as soon as he stepped through the door made that much clear.

Is she cheating on me? He thought, then cursed himself for projecting on you. After all, you've never given him any reasons to think that, but where could you be so late at night on a Tuesday?

He pulled out his phone and noticed several missed calls from you, and he got worried. Did something happen to you while he was gone? Is that why you weren't home?

However, your phone rang in the house, confusing Jeongin even more. He headed towards the kitchen and noticed a terrible sight: a meal for two carefully prepared and placed on the table, one full glass of wine, and the remains of another scattered all over the floor.

The bottle stood empty on the table, overturned. Did you drink it all?

There were also small red droplets on the ground, which he thought were out of spilled wine, but at closer inspection, he realised that they were blood.

Taking everything into account, it finally clicked.

Your anniversary wasn't tomorrow. It was today.

And he messed up big time.

~

Seungmin called a taxi for the two of you while you tried to stop crying, but still, the tears wouldn't stop flowing. It felt like your whole life flashed in front of your eyes, the once happy memories now making you sour. It didn't help that Jeongin has been such a big part of your life. At this point, you spent more years holding his hand than you spent holding your own, and you no longer knew how to live without him.

You couldn't remember how your life was before meeting Jeongin.

How were you supposed to keep on living?

Seungmin knew Jeongin was going to propose to you tonight, so how could it make any sense that he was out somewhere cheating on you? He loved you so much. Seungmin knew that more than anyone else, being friends to both of you. He was at times even jealous of your relationship, and he so desperately wanted to find someone to love him unconditionally like you loved Jeongin.

He felt horrible. It was like he was experiencing all your feelings as well, but the thing that annoyed him the most was how powerless he was being faced with this situation. He could only watch your heartbreak from the sidelines, and his heart tightened in his chest so much seeing how sad and fragile you looked, breaking down in front of him. What could he do?

One thing was sure, though. He was going to take care of you, that much he knew. But other than that... what? How could he support you?

He held your hand in the taxi tightly as you cried. A friendly gesture. Neither of you cared that the driver was throwing daggers his way, as if Seungmin was the one who wronged you.

When the cab finally arrived in front Seungmin's apartment building, he helped you get out of the car. You didn't look like you were really there. He knew. He noticed that your eyes were not necessarily focusing on anything around you, so it was clear as day that you were hiding somewhere in your mind, trying to make sense of everything.

So, he just held your hand and walked with you until you reached his apartment.

"Wanna take a shower?" Seungmin asked after you took off the high heels you bought just for tonight.

You nodded and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind you without locking it. Despite being friends for so many years, you've never come to Seungmin's apartment. Most outings would be spent either at yours and Jeongin's, or at the dorm where all the boys slept, should they be too busy to return home.

You wondered if Jeongin ever lied to you and told you he's spending the night in the dorms, just to actually spend it with some other girl. Maybe even the one that moaned his name in your ear one hour ago.

You were glad to be in an unfamiliar space that held no memories of your love.

You took off the straps on your shoulder that were holding the dress on your body, letting it fall to the ground. You simply discarded it there, on the floor, stepping on it as if it was nothing. You wanted to burn it; forget you ever bought it. Forget you ever wore it, for it held a lot of meaning, and you hated everything about it now. You hated it. The red was too red, and you loathed it with all your being. You felt the same way towards the red lacy lingerie you've bought for tonight, and if it once reminded you of the passion between you and Jeongin, it now only reminded you of your bloodied, struggling heart. So, you took that off as well, almost throwing up at the sight of it. It was supposed to be discarded on the floor while you made love to Jeongin, not here, in Seungmin's bathroom, while you cried out in agony.

You stepped into the shower and turned the faucet on, letting the cold water hit your skin mercilessly. The cold soon turned to hot, and you found yourself crouched on the floor sobbing your heart out once more. Your make-up was smeared, your thoughts all over the place.

You don't know how long you stayed in there. You only know that you heard Seungmin's voice on the other side of the door asking you if you are okay, at some point.

You weren't, so you didn't say anything.

"Ari, please reply to me, let me know you're okay."

You didn't have the energy.

"Ari, I'm worried about you. Please say something."

You barely heard him. The water felt nice on your skin.

"If you don't give me any sign that you're okay in there in the next 30 seconds I'm going to come in."

Fuck, you couldn't focus on anything. What did he say?

Seungmin tried the handle and was glad to see that the door was unlocked. He came in the bathroom and saw you in the shower. You looked devastated.

He didn't want to invade your privacy, but it was clear that you weren't exactly capable of taking care of yourself right now. He came next to you and just hugged you, not caring about the water wetting his clothes.

He held onto you as your sobs became louder, and his heart broke with yours.

After he heard you calm down a bit, he grabbed some cleanser and wiped your face off all the make-up. He felt bad; you must've spent a lot of time doing your best to look as pretty as possible tonight, not that you had to try too hard. You were extremely beautiful, he always thought so. But he was sad for you, for what happened to this make-up, for what happened to you.

Seungmin turned off the water and grabbed a big towel, wrapping it around you, covering you with it.

"You're all wet." You spoke, surprising him. You've been silent this whole time. He became a bit hopeful that you're still there, not completely taken over by dark thoughts.

"Yea." He chuckled. "See how wet you made me?"

"That's what she said." You joked a bit, making Seungmin laugh. You were broken, but seeing him happy made you a bit happier as well, so you cracked a small smile.

Seungmin didn't realise how much he missed the old you who would smile all the time, who looked like she had no care in the world, until he saw the slight upward curve of your lips.

He liked it so much.

"You are so beautiful when you smile." He told you sincerely.

"Not beautiful enough for Jeongin, apparently." You whispered and let Seungmin help you stand up from the floor and guide you to his bedroom.

"He's an idiot. I can't believe he would do something like that..."

"Yea. Me neither." You replied. It was truly shocking, and you still couldn't quite comprehend why you weren't enough.

"Ari... how do you want to go about this?" Seungmin asks you, his back turned to you as he rummaged through his closet to pull out some clothes for you to wear.

"I don't... want to see him." You spoke lowly. "I can't."

"Okay."

"What am I supposed to do, Min? Where do I go?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have... nowhere. I can't go back to the apartment..."

"Since he fucked up this much, I'm sure he would at least give you that apartment, even if you end up breaking up..." Seungmin said.

"We did break up. Tonight. I don't want anything to do with him anymore." You sighed. "But that... was not the point. I don't want that apartment. Too many memories. I can't even go back home because every damn place there is stained with him. What... do I do? Where do I go?" You felt yourself wanting to cry again but tried to stop the tears from falling. You already had a horrible headache.

"You stay here. We'll think it through together."

"Here?"

"Of course. You're my friend, and I want to help you." Seungmin said and sat down next to you on the bed, grabbing your right hand and holding it tightly.

"I don't want to bother you... I've already gone out of my way and ruined your night of partying." You spoke sadly.

"Fuck partying. If you're not feeling well, I want to be there with you."

"Okay... but can you please not tell him I'm here? I really don't want to see him again, Min."

"Of course. I won't tell him anything." He hugged you. "We'll figure it out."

~

Jeongin became frantic. He understood that he fucked up by not showing up. Fuck, he was so busy with the latest comeback and the full schedule that he completely messed up the days.

He understood that, but where did you go? Why did you leave the phone home? Why were there blood stains on the floor?

Where were you?

He pulled out his phone again and checked his messages to see if you perhaps left him something. He was disappointed to see that you didn't.

Then, he opened his call history to call his best friend, Seungmin. Maybe you were with him. After all, you didn't have many other friends you could go to anyway.

Opening it up, he froze. Besides the few missed calls from you, he noticed that there was a call that went on for almost 5 minutes... one hour prior.

This can't be...

He denied, and looked at the timestamp, hoping that he read it wrong.

There's no way that you called during that time. There's no way he accidentally answered.

There's no way you heard him be unfaithful to you.

But even if you did hear, he couldn't believe you actually left.

You were supposed to always be there. So why? Why did you leave?

In a panicked frenzy, he picked up your phone and looked in your call history as well. There were a few missed calls towards him, that call, and Seungmin's number.

He called Seungmin, who picked up after a few rings.

"Min, is she with you?"

"Who?" his friend replied, unaffected.

"Don't play dumb, I saw she called you!"

"Ari?" Seungmin asked, still with the same unaltered tone.

"YES, SEUNGMIN. ARI." Jeongin articulated the words and shouted, desperate. "Please tell me she's with you. Can I come over? I need to see her. I need to talk to her."

"Hold on. What happened?" Seungmin asked.

"You don't know?!"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Innie. Calm down a bit and talk me through it."

~

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Innie. Calm down a bit and talk me through it." Seungmin spoke, holding your hand. His phone was on speaker, and he only answered because you urged him to, even if he didn't exactly want to talk to Jeongin.

"Fuck, okay." Jeongin was hyperventilating. "I think... Ari heard something she shouldn't have..."

"I'm not sure I follow?" Seungmin replied, unimpressed. He wanted to hear it from Jeongin himself. "What did she hear?"

"I... fuck, this sounds so bad. I swear it's not like it sounds. I had sex with someone else, and she called, and-"

"Hold on." Seungmin interrupted him. "You cheated on her, is that what you're saying?"

"No! I mean, it was only physical, she wasn't supposed to find out-"

"Wow, you're a piece of shit." Seungmin cursed, as soon as he saw your eyes swell up with tears again. He held your hand tighter.

"Please tell me she's with you. I'm begging you. I need to know she's okay. I need to talk to her and explain."

"What's there to explain? And no, she's not here."

"Don't lie to me!" He shouted again. "I saw she called you!" He repeated.

"She did." Seungmin affirmed. "She asked me to lend her some money, so I asked her to come to the company, and we met up."

"How did she look? Did she seem sad?"

"I don't think so?" Seungmin spoke, unsure. "I didn't notice anything wrong."

"How much money did you give her?"

"I'm not sure, I just gave her my card to withdraw however much she needs, she gave it back and left."

"And you didn't find that suspicious? You didn't ask her anything? You just gave her the card?!"

"Why would I ask anything? It's not my job to coddle or cosset her. Of course I gave her my card, I would do so for any of my friends if they need something. You know that."

"Yes... yes. Fuck. Okay. Maybe she went to a hotel?!"

"I don't know, Innie. Why did you cheat on her?"

"I don't know! I mean, I just wanted to have fun! I really love her, I swear! I wanted to propose on our anniversary, you know that!" Jeongin said hastily, and Seungmin noticed how your heart dropped.

"You wanted to propose... but you slept with someone else?"

"She didn't mean anything, I never slept with the same girl twice-"

"Hold on." Seungmin said, not believing what he was hearing. You didn't seem to be able to believe it either. "You're saying... you cheated multiple times?"

"I told you, it wasn't really cheating! It was purely physical! Ari is the most important thing to me..."

"You're a dumbass." Seungmin scolded him. "The biggest idiot I've ever met."

"I know. I really am an idiot. How do I get her to talk to me? Where did she even go?!"

"You should calm the fuck down first." Seungmin instructed. "And then be responsible for once and own up to your actions."

"But-"

"And if she leaves you, you have to take it."

"What do you mean? She can't- She won't leave me for this, right?"

"Wouldn't you leave yourself?"

"Seungmin! But... she was supposed to be there for me..."

"Look, I'm in the middle of something, and I have no empathy for you right now, so I'm gonna end the call. Let's talk tomorrow." Seungmin spoke hastily, then hung up.

"Wow..." You said, still in denial that Jeongin had not only cheated on you, but he did so multiple times, with multiple different people. Were you that insignificant to him? How could he claim he loves you? How dare he want to propose to you, to tie you two together, when your love life feels like the biggest lie ever told?

"I'm simply speechless." Seungmin held your hand tight.

"Min... tell me. Am I that... undeserving of being loved right? What did I do... to deserve this?"

"Ari, love, you didn't do anything. He's just a piece of crap." He shook his head, still trying to process everything. He would've never, in a million years, seen it coming. "You've been perfect all along. Okay?" He tried to reassure you, but you weren't feeling it.

"Can I go to sleep?" You asked, your voice low. You just wanted to lay in bed and die.

"Sure. Take the bed, and I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."

"Okay..."

~

You laid in bed stirring from left to right, barely able to fall asleep. When you did, you were gone for 15-20 minutes max before you got woken up by another nightmare where Jeongin was having sex with someone else, so you found yourself giving up on sleep altogether and going to the living room to check on Seungmin, who was fast asleep on the couch.

He would probably have a full day tomorrow, so you didn't wake him up.

You made your way towards the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets to find some tea, and just as you poured your cup, he walked into the room, confusion plastered all over his face.

"Ari? You okay?" He spoke, his voice groggy.

"Yea. Just couldn't sleep. You should take the bed, Min, I can't fall asleep anyway."

"What time is it?" He asked, confused.

"I'm not sure... I left my phone back at the apartment..." You looked away. You wonder if Jeongin would've texted you if you brought your phone with you. If he would've tried calling.

He seemed to want to talk earlier.

No. What he did is unforgivable, so it doesn't matter.

"It's better that way." Seungmin said, shaking his head.

"Huh?" You replied, forgetting for a second what he was referring to.

"Leaving your phone there..."

"Oh... I guess..."

"Are you... breaking up with him for real?"

"I mean," you chuckled, "should I stay? After he broke my heart like that? Would you stay?"

"No... of course not."

"It really sucks." You finished pouring down your tee and took the mug, placing it on the kitchen table. You sat down and watched the steam rise up in the air and tried to forget it all.

"Yea." Seungmin agreed, pouring down a cup himself while yawning.

"You could've told me you want some tea as well, I would've-"

"That's okay." He waved his hand around to brush you off.

"Min, you should really go to sleep... when do you have to go to the company?"

"We have a day off tomorrow, actually."

"Oh." You let your head down, avoiding his gaze.

"So, what should we do tomorrow? What's the plan?" He asked you, making you raise your head to look back at him.

"The plan...? I don't know, Min."

"You need a phone, and some clothes, so we should go get them."

"Can't we just order them? I don't feel like going out..."

"No. You can't just stay in bed absentmindedly losing yourself. We will go out, have a fun time shopping, eat good food, then sleep."

"And then... what? What do I do, Min?" You stood up and found your wallet, counting all the cash you kept inside. Not much, unfortunately. "I don't have enough money to move out-"

"I'll help you."

"Wait, I'm not finished. Even if I did, do I stay here, in Seoul? Should I go back and have my parents scold me for no longer being with Jeongin? Should I go back where he can also find me? It sucks so bad." You covered your face with your hands, annoyed by every damn thing around you.

Seungmin hummed, feeling that you still wanted to rant a bit more.

"I'm so upset. Should I quit my job at the Café? I mean, it's not like I can keep it, Jeongin will come look after me there first things first tomorrow morning. But if I quit it, how the fuck am I going to pay for anything? I obviously don't want to use his money anymore. Fuck, I can't even check how much is on my card with my phone being at the apartment..."

"Hey, let's calm down a bit. We'll take everything step by step." Seungmin spoke, wanting to comfort you. You were definitely overthinking it, and he didn't want to let you do that to yourself.

"How the fuck am I supposed to calm down?"

"That's fair. I say we think first of what you should do in terms of staying in Seoul or going back to your hometown. Obviously, if you stay here, you have a place to stay, which is this apartment."

"Seungmin, you're the best friend in the world, but I can't burden you like that. I will take advantage of your kindness for a few days max, until I figure it out."

"Love, you would never burden me. You're a very important friend, so of course I'm going to want to help you as much as I can." He found your hand on the table and held onto it for a few seconds to comfort you, before removing it. "If you want to move out, I'll help pay for an apartment, but why would we do that, when this one here is barely being used? I'm almost always in the dorms."

"You say that, but what if you'd want to bring someone home?" You chuckled nervously.

"What, to have sex?" Seungmin laughed. "There are hotels for that, Ari. And besides, I've never brought anyone here."

"Really?" You raised an eyebrow, not really believing it. You did know Seungmin had various flings along the years, nothing serious, so it wasn't that shocking, but he had a few relationships that lasted for a few months – didn't he bring anyone back here?

"Yep." He nodded. "So my point is, why pay for something when we already have one ready for you? Stay here."

"Okay... but what would I even do here, Min? I barely have any friends, and I'll soon be jobless."

"What would you do back home?" He shrugged. "It would be kind of the same, but with all the memories, wouldn't it?"

"Yea, you're right."

"You can always find another job you like here. It's a big city."

"It just sucks because I'm not good at anything."

"Don't say that." He scolded you.

"It's true, though. The only thing I was good at was loving him, and even that wasn't enough..."

"Hey."

"All I'm saying is, no wonder he cheated on me, since I'm so dumb and can't do anything right."

"You're not dumb, Ari. You're one of the most clever people I've ever met."

"Min, you always call me dumb." You joked, knowing how much he usually likes to tease you when you do something stupid.

"In a loving way! God!" He laughed. "Okay, we're going to go even more into the basics, then. "What do you like to do?"

"Uhm... I'm not sure? Cooking, maybe? I like baking sweets..." You replied, lost in thought. What did you like to do besides spending time with Jeongin?

"Great! We're starting with that, then. What if you do a course and get a certification on it? Then maybe you can open up a small bakery or something."

"That sounds... kinda nice, actually."

"Wanna look tomorrow into some programs?" Seungmin smiled as you nodded, a smile on your face. It felt like a good idea to do something for yourself. Until now, you always wanted to be as free as possible and adjusted your schedule as much as you could to fit Jeongin's, so you never really did things for yourself.

Thinking about it, you realise you've been living more for him than you did for you. What a stupid mistake.

~

The next day, Seungmin took you shopping as promised. He drove you to a mall in a nearby city, wanting to minimise the chances of someone recognising him.

He first bought you a phone, then you went to several stores and bought a whole new wardrobe for you. By the end of the day there were so many bags in the car, you feared there was not enough space to fit everything.

You also went out to eat at a cute restaurant, and even if you barely had an appetite, you indulged Seungmin and finished everything he put in front of you on the table.

You felt grateful to have him as a friend.

~

It's been a few days and no sight of you. Jeongin was becoming desperate. He called up all your friends, but no one knew anything about a break-up, and after a week he finally decided to talk to your parents.

"She's not here." They told him. "She sent us a text to let us know that if you call, to tell you she's doing fine, and that she wishes to be left alone for the time being, and that it's over. But Innie, you do know that we love you like you're our son, right? Please know we don't agree with our stupid daughter. Forgive her when she finally comes to her senses."

Forgive you? What is there to forgive? He's the one who screwed up.

Not knowing anything about you fucked with his head so much, he started messing up on choreographies. Everyone seemed upset with him when they ultimately heard of what he did, and Chan even scolded him for throwing away what you two had for some casual sex.

The one who seemed the most upset of it all, though, was Seungmin. He would barely look at him, and if he did, he would have grimace written all over his face.

Still, Seungmin insisted he didn't know anything about you, no matter how much he would ask.

~

Three months later, you were definitely making progress. You started going to a Cooking Academy Seungmin found for you. He enrolled you into a 12-month program where you would learn how to cook all sorts of desserts, so you were quite excited to go through with all of it.

Mentally, though, you were still hurt. You haven't spoken to Jeongin at all, or even seen him, besides on TV when you watched Stray Kids' newest music videos or award show performances. You wanted to see them for Seungmin, even if he insisted you didn't have to. Still, Seungmin was your best friend, and you wanted to engage in what he was doing, as much as he engaged in conversations about baking school with you.

It was hard at first to see Jeongin on TV. He didn't look good; he was haggard and skinnier, and no amount of make-up could hide the emptiness in his eyes. You felt bad for him, for never giving him the chance to explain himself, but what good would it have done? You knew you would never be able to forgive him. But you watched all the content for Seungmin, who's quite literally been your rock ever since the break-up.

You started enjoying Seungmin's company more and more, and you liked how invested he was in your new-found baking passion, and in bettering yourself.

"... and that's apparently how macarons are made. It's quite a simple recipe, but if you mess up the consistency of the batter, the macarons would be too crunchy. You can also mess up the buttercream, so yea, it's tough." You laughed, watching Seungmin follow you closely.

"That's so cool though!"

"Right?! And there are so many flavours too! How am I supposed to remember how to do all of them?"

"We should maybe go and raid all the bakeries in town and buy all the flavours to check your future competition." He joked, making you laugh.

Every day it was getting easier and easier for you to smile, and you knew Seungmin had everything to do with it. You started liking the attention he was giving you, and that was a bit scary.

"Ari...? I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but... May I suggest something?"

"Yea?" You smiled, not sure of what he wanted to say.

"I love seeing you a bit happier... but I know."

"You know...?" You asked, unsure of what he meant.

"I know you still cry yourself to sleep every night, and I know you're only functioning when I'm around you and force you to gulp down food and stay hydrated and exercise." He looked at you blankly. You didn't really want to have this conversation.

"I don't know what you-"

"Ari." He grabbed your hand. "It's okay to get help. I think it would be really beneficial if you sought out counselling. You should learn how to process this grief in a healthy way. What do you say?"

Of course, he was right. After all, you weren't the best at processing your emotions, and you still held a lot of resentment towards Jeongin. You also weren't sure if you would ever be able to trust someone in a future possible relationship.

"Yea... that would be good."

"Great! Shall we look at therapists together?" Seungmin smiled.

~

Jeongin was in the practice room with the boys, finishing up a choreography.

He found that not even the weekly sex he would have with someone random would do the trick anymore. He missed you.

He got better at hiding it, though. He no longer screwed up when singing or dancing, but he still loved you like crazy, and was still in denial that you actually left and that he hasn't heard from you in 11 months now.

"It's her birthday and I can't even text her..." He complained to Seungmin. They weren't that close anymore, but he still considered him a friend.

"That sucks." The boy replied indifferently, and Jeongin felt once again completely disregarded.

"Why are you punishing me, hm?! Isn't it enough that Ari's been doing it for almost a year?!"

"I don't think she's punishing you, man." Seungmin shrugged.

"What if she's not doing well? I want to be there for her!"

"Didn't you say you've been calling her parents lately and that she updates them regularly to let them know she's fine? She's probably just doing her best to keep going without you. Let her be."

"But I miss her so much... By the way, who are you texting so happily? I swear you've been grinning like an idiot for 10 minutes straight."

"No one." Seungmin quickly closed his phone. "Just a friend."

"What about Ari, have you talked to her?"

"No, not really." He shrugged. "She did contact me to return the money she borrowed, but that was pretty much it."

"So you have her number?! Give it to me!" Jeongin stood up from the floor and ran towards Seungmin, who scoffed.

"I don't. She asked me to delete it and to never contact her again."

"She really doesn't want to have anything to do with us anymore, huh?" Jeongin looked away.

~

"Happy birthday!" Seungmin shouted, coming through the door of the apartment with a big cake in his hands.

"Min? You're home?" You ran out from the living room to meet him at the door and take the cake from his hands while he took off his shoes. "I thought you had practice today!" You shouted from the kitchen before running back into his arms like a kid.

"Nope, all free to spend time with my most precious friend on her birthday!" He praised you and hugged you tightly.

"Thank you. I'm happy to see you. But I'm not even dressed properly!" You whined about how you only wore some trousers and a T-shirt, not even bothering to put on a bra since you weren't aware that you'd have company. You moved a bit away, your arms still around his neck.

You wanted to kiss him.

You already knew you've been having feelings for him for a while, as your therapist walked you through all these complicated things in your heart for a while.

But still, you didn't.

"How was your day?" You asked, walking back to the kitchen to cut off two pieces of the cake.

"Wait! You have to blow out the candles first." Seungmin pulled out a pack of multicolour spiral candles and put them clumsily on the cake, as he started singing Happy Birthday to you. He had a beautiful voice.

It was weird. This was the first birthday without Jeongin in the past 13 years, but you weren't really sad. Sure, it was bittersweet, but you didn't feel as devastated about it as you thought you would.

Hearing Seungmin sing did bring a few tears to your eyes, though, and before he was able to finish the song, you went to him and hugged him again, putting your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. The last chorus was whispered between you two.

"So... what is your wish, Ari?" He whispered in your ear once the song was over, his hands touching the back of your waist, making you quiver a bit.

"I think... I have everything someone could wish for, Min." You spoke softly. "I have you."

"Mhm." He hummed. "You do."

He was the one to move his head away this time, and he looked deeply in your eyes. The only light in the room were the burning candles on your birthday cake that you didn't want to bother with at that moment.

You liked Seungmin.

And you wanted to kiss him.

And the way his eyes kept moving to your lips told you that he wanted to kiss you too.

So, with a leap of courage, you pressed your lips against his and closed your eyes tightly.

He didn't push you away. On the contrary, his hands on your back brought you closer to him, and he deepened the kiss, his tongue circling your upper lip.

You opened your mouth and tasted him, and it felt like none of the cakes you were going to bake in the Academy would even come close to how sweet he tasted on your tongue.

You tugged his collar before letting your hands fall to his chest, your fingers fighting with the small stubborn buttons that didn't want to pop open.

When you were finally successful in your contest and his torso was naked, you let your hands roam on him to feel his muscles.

He placed his hands on yours and stopped you from examining him further, then spun you around, pressing his body to yours. You felt his bulge on your bum and felt an incredibly uncomfortable feeling of needing to be touched right then and there.

"Blow out the candles first, love." He whispered in your ear, his hands moving from your stomach to your chest, cupping your breasts and squeezing them, making you let your head fall back, on his shoulder, and moan in pleasure.

"Come on." He moved his hands back down and got them under your shirt this time, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin on your abdomen, moving higher and higher, until they were on your bare breasts.

"Fuck." You moaned, but tried to focus on the task at hand, knowing that Seungmin was waiting for you.

You followed his directions and watched the room become dark as you blew out all of the candles in one breath, and your heart started beating faster in anticipation as Seungmin's hand played with your books, fingers slowly massaging your nipples.

"Should we go to the bedroom?" He spoke, letting you go for a bit, waiting to hear you either accept or deny his proposal.

Neither of you thought that what you were about to do was wrong, and you were glad that there weren't any feelings of guiltiness shared, since Seungmin was genuinely a gentleman who let you process and discover your feelings in your own rhythm. He also didn't think he's ever going to end up in this position with you, as he never allowed himself to think of you as an available woman, but once you broke up with Jeongin and started spending so much time with him, everything came by naturally.

He had the biggest crush on you, and he was glad to see that you were reciprocating.

You grabbed Seungmin's hand and guided him to the bedroom, where he started kissing you again. Your breaths became one, and your feelings for the other were growing with each piece of clothing that would fall on the floor.

Once both of you were naked, he guided you to the bed and pressed his body on yours, his member at your already wet enough entrance. However, he didn't want to go about your first time together this way. He wanted to get as much as possible of you, so he sprawled wet kisses all over your body, before letting his head fall between your legs, licking your needy pussy.

You moaned each time he would lick you up, and when his tongue started teasing your entrance, you became needier than ever.

"Please, Min. I want you. No, I need you inside me." You whined, pulling on his hair and hoping he would give it to you as soon as possible.

He obliged, as he got on top of you and kissed you deeply, his dick sliding into you with ease. You were so ready for him, he almost burst out at the intense feeling.

His thrusts became eager, as your hands roamed on your body and left scratch marks on his back whenever he would get more intense.

"Fuck, Min, you are the best." You moaned and praised him, all your previous times having sex with Jeongin long forgotten as Seungmin satisfied you this good. "Should we switch positions?"

"Do you want on top, love?" He bit your neck, bringing out another moan out of your mouth.

"Yes, please." You replied, feeling his weight disappear from you. He plopped on the bed next to you and signalled you to come on top of him, which you swiftly did, letting your body fall down on his as his dick disappeared in your cunt.

You haven't had sex in a while, but it appeared you didn't forget how to move your hips up and down to pleasure Seungmin.

He loved the sight of you on top of him, moving so confident, your tits bouncing. He couldn't help but sit up to bite your neck and move inside of you as well, and you came undone after a few thrusts.

Your orgasm was powerful, and his followed soon after as well, both of you laying down embraced next to the other and breathing heavily.

"That was so good." You spoke, caressing Seungmin's chest.

"It was the best sex I've ever had." He confessed. "Probably my feelings for you have something to do with that."

"Min..."

"Look, I don't want to force you into anything, but I genuinely like you, and would love to date you if you feel ready, and if you feel the same thing."

"I do!" You confessed as well, kissing him. "I like you so much, Min."

"That's... wow. Okay. I wasn't really expecting that." He chuckled.

"I really do. If you feel weird about Jeongin-"

"Screw that guy. I don't care about him." Seungmin cut you off, but you needed to tell him something that's been on your mind for some time now.

"Min, I really wanted to get your opinion on something... regarding Jeongin."

"I'm listening."

"The therapist... told me I should be more honest with myself. And after speaking with her for a bit, I realised that... I should talk to Jeongin and get closure, hear him out... What do you say?"

"I don't know, Ari..." Seungmin replied, dejected. He started to worry that all your feelings for him would come back if you were to see him again, but if he started dating you, he knew you would inevitably get to meet him at one point or another.

"If you're uncomfortable with that, I won't see him." You kissed his neck, wanting to show him that you no longer had any romantic feelings towards Jeongin that were worth destroying your new relationship.

"No. You should talk to him, as long as that would help you heal."

"Why are you so good to me?" You smiled. "Thank you for everything, Min. I don't think I could ever repay you. I only have this heart to give you, if you want it."

~

"You're a lying piece of shit! I fucking believed you!" Jeongin came screaming towards Seungmin the very next day, wanting to punch his face. He stopped at the last second, though, noticing the confusion plastered on his friend's face.

"What do you mean?"

"What is this, hm? What the fuck is this, Seungmin?!" Jeongin pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of him and you taken when he took you shopping so many months ago.

"Wait, where is this from?" Seungmin became concerned. Why is this photo surfacing now, and why is the title 'Scandal between Stray Kids! Jeongin's girlfriend cheating on him with Seungmin!'

"You ask like you don't know! You've been helping her out the whole time?!"

"That article is a bigger problem for us right now, Jeongin!"

"It's already been taken care of! This is just a screenshot! Now tell me why the fuck did you keep everything from me?!"

"Jeongin, calm down, will you?" Seungmin tried to ration with him, but it was getting difficult, as Jeongin kept throwing things around the room.

"I can't fucking believe it. How come you never let me see her once?!"

"She didn't want to see you."

"I should've been the one next to her yesterday celebrating her birthday, not you!"

"Jeongin, you are aware that you lost that privilege when you took her love for granted and cheated on her, right?"

Hearing Seungmin's cold words, the younger let himself fall down. He was right. Jeongin cheated on you, so he had no grounds to be upset that you cut him off from your life.

"She does want to talk to you, though..." Seungmin started reluctantly.

"She does?!"

"Yes... She asked me to tell you to drop by at this address if you want to meet her."

"Oh! Oh God! That's amazing! Okay, that's-"

"BUT, don't get your hopes up. She's not doing it to get back with you."

"It doesn't matter, I'll talk to her, and-"

"No, Jeongin. What I'm saying is, I'm dating her."

Seungmin's words cut through Jeongin's heart like glass. He didn't want to believe it.

~

"Thank you for coming." You smiled weakly seeing your ex-boyfriend, anxiety rising in your chest. You were afraid that you're going to start loving him again when you saw him, but were happy to see that it wasn't the case.

You grew a lot since the last time you two saw each other. You've been working on yourself, you were almost done with the baking course, your therapy was going great and you found a lot of love in Seungmin, even before you two confessed and got together.

Jeongin, however, still loved you.

"Ari... you look amazing." He complimented you, his face falling down in shame. "I should thank you for giving me a chance to explain why I did what I did."

"I'm listening." You smiled.

"I know it's unforgivable... and I'm sorry. I have no excuse. I wanted to live the 'young and free' lifestyle and I didn't realise what the two of us have. I took it for granted. I was sure you're going to be there no matter what, but now... I realise how stupid and selfish I was. And I... still love you. So, so much. I miss you."

He looked into your eyes, and he was glad that there was still warmth in them towards him. He was scared to see what he would find, but now he was relieved.

"I see..." You nodded in understatement, finding it baffling that your relationship truly ended for something insignificant like that. It was freeing, even, to know that you weren't at fault for it. "Thank you for telling me."

Jeongin reached over the table to grab your hand, but you pulled it back and put it in your lap.

"Do you think... there's still hope for us?"

"Jeongin, I want to be honest to you. What you did to me broke my heart into a million pieces, and it took me a long time to be okay again. I really didn't think I would be able to get through it."

"I'm so sorry, Ari." Jeongin started tearing up. "I truly am."

"However," you continued. "I pushed through, I went to therapy, I started living for myself... and I'm okay now. I'm happy. I'm even in a new relationship now, and I love him so much for being there for me." You smiled.

"So... Seungmin, huh?" He chuckled. "He's a great guy."

"He was there holding my hand... when no one else was." You smiled again, feeling more in love with your boyfriend than ever. While you sat on the sidelines and gave your all to support Jeongin and his career, putting your life on hold, Seungmin actively encouraged you to work towards doing something you love, to become the best version of yourself.

You were loved.

"I don't want to pretend the last 12 years never existed." You spoke. "You were really important to me, and a piece of my heart will always be yours. But... I moved on. And I really hope you will find the strength to do it too."

You got up from the table and hugged Jeongin, who didn't say anything else, then left the Café.

~

"How was it?" Seungmin anxiously asked you as soon as you stepped through the door of the apartment. He's been fidgeting the whole time and seeing him so nervous made you chuckle a bit. You truly, truly liked him.

"It was fine. We talked about what happened... and now I can really say I've moved on." You came closer to Seungmin and hugged him. "Thank you, Min."

"What are you thanking me for?" He hugged you back.

"For trusting me. I bet it was hard on you to let me meet up with the man I've spent the last 12 years of my life with."

"I'm really, really happy that you're not breaking up with me to go back to him."

"How could I, Min? I love you so much." You separated your bodies and kissed him. "I'm so grateful to have you in my life."

"I love you too." He confessed.

"Should we go for round two, then?" You winked playfully and pointed towards the bedroom.

"You don't have to ask me twice." He picked you up and spun you around, taking you to the room and closing the door behind him.

~The End~

---

(A/N) I apologise for what I put your through with this story hahahah.

I hope you enjoyed it, and as always, thank you for reading <3

- Storm