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word count: 2.1k

genre: anarchy au, angst

→ note: yall the side effects mv slaps sO HARD. like they went off. stream yellow wood. anyways...i was inspired to write this after watching the mv so here you go :)

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Hyunjin shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, his earbuds jammed into his ears as he continued the walk to the hideout. It was nearly nightfall and the guards would be coming out soon. But Hyunjin had done this too many times.

He knew the shortcuts and knew how to dodge the guards. He put his hood up as a light rainfall started and continued walking. Hyunjin turned down an alley and rushed down the stairs. As he approached the headout, he brought his hand out of his pocket and knocked four times.

The hideout was nothing fancy. After all, it was an abandoned building. It was hidden in the undergrounds of the city. The building was small and overlooked by the government since it was practically falling apart.

The door opened. "You're late. Chan was wondering if you were coming at all," Felix said and Hyunjin rolled his eyes as he took his earbuds out. Felix moved aside and Hyunjin walked in. After Felix shut the door and made sure it was secure, the two boys headed to the meeting room.

"Ah, Hyunjin. I didn't know if you were gonna make it or not," Chan said as the two entered the room. Hyunjin ignored him and made himself comfortable on the couch. "I called you all here tonight because I think it's time we have a talk about what's going on."

"The abuse that I've seen on the streets lately is sickening," Chan continued. "Not to mention the discrimination and oppression that the government has against destitution."

"The guards have doubled, too," Changbin spoke up. "They're more strict and the punishments have become more barbarous. They're killing families just because of their financial status."

"It's wrong," Chan said. "All of it."

"So what do you suggest we do?" Hyunjin remarked crossing his arms over his chest. "There isn't much we can really do about this. It's been going on for years...it's just gotten worse."

Chan didn't say anything for a while. His eyes moved around the room, looking at the eight other boys in the room. He was debating on whether or not to say what he was thinking. It was risky...dangerous even.

"I say we leave the city," he said finally. The boys all looked at him like he was crazy. "I know how it sounds, trust me. But I think this is what's best for us. I know a way out. There's a tunnel and..."

"Are you crazy?" Hyunjin said. "Have you completely lost it? If we get caught, who knows what will happen to us. We could be killed right on the spot. Or does that matter? Chan..I don't know about this."

"Would you rather us live in this fucked up community?" Chan snapped. "Where they care more about a goddamn financial status than they do about the people. We live in a world where families are killed because the government is so against poverty. They think that we're better off without them." Chan narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin. "Is that the world you want to live in? Cause I sure don't."

Hyunjin didn't answer him. Of course he didn't want to live in that type of world. But it was what he was given. It was what he had learned to escape. Even if they did leave, who knows what was out there? Who knew if there was anything out there and beyond the wall?

"I'm going to leave tomorrow night," Chan said bringing Hyunjin out of his thoughts. "I'm not going to force you guys to come with me.."

"No," Changbin said as he stood. "You're not going to do this alone, Chan. We're a family." Changbin looked back at the boys, who all slowly started to stand one by one. The last person was Hyunjin.

Everyone looked at him as he stood as well. It's not like he had anyone left. His family was dead. All he had left was the boys. Chan gave him a look, almost as if he was asking if he was serious. Hyunjin nodded his head.

"You're my brothers," he said looking at all of them, his eyes stopping on Chan. "We need to stick together."

•••

Hyunjin walked along the sidewalk, ignoring how the rain had soaked his hoodie and was now chilling his bones. He kept his head low, avoiding all contact. He made sure not to walk to fast or too slow or the guards would be suspicious of him. And that was the last thing he needed.

Hyunjin made sure no one was watching him then slipped into an alley. He remembered when this part of city was alive. It was when he was much younger and his family was still alive. He missed his family a lot. He missed how simple things used to be.

Hyunjin squeezed between the gap of the gate then took one last look behind him. He didn't see anyone so he continued. He walked further into the alley until he saw eight figures leaning against the building.

"You made it," Chan said. "Were you followed?" Hyunjin shook his head and Chan gave him a faint nod. "Come on."

Chan lead them to the tunnel he had told them about. The tunnels were old and stretched for miles underground. He lost track of how long they had been in there. But as they went on their way, Hyunjin couldn't help but feel watched.

"Just a little further," Chan spoke up and his voice echoed a bit throughout the tunnel. Hyunjin started to feel a little relieved. He was tired and just wanted to rest.

Several minutes later, the boys came to the end of the tunnel. There was a ladder, which lead up a smaller tunnel. Chan went first and they all watched as he went up the ladder.

When Chan got to the top of the ladder, he saw a vent blocking the way. After a few shoves, the vent popped up and Chan climbed out. One by one, the rest of the boys came up.

Hyunjin took in his surroundings. There was a long road and it looked like they were at a rundown bus station. There was a single tree in the middle of the road. A yellow wood.

"Where exactly are we?" Hyunjin asked. He looked back to see the wall then he looked at Chan, who shrugged.

"I'm not sure," Chan looked around himself. Before Chan could say anything else, a loud alarm started going off from inside the walls.

The boys all looked back to see the wall opening up. Chan's eyes widened in horror when he saw an army of guards coming their way with guns in their hands.

"Run!" Chan screamed. Then the boys took off down the road, running as fast as they could. Chan glanced behind them and saw that the guards were gaining on them.

Chan swerved into the fields and the boys all followed. They kept running and running until they came upon a fence. But that didn't stop them. They hurried over the fence and didn't look back.

•••

"Hyunjin."

Hyunjin's eyes shot open and his eyebrows furrowed when he saw that all of the boys were asleep. He could've sworn he heard his name.

"Hyunjin."

He quickly stood to his feet and walked towards the sound. It was coming from the woods. When he peered into the trees, he didn't see anything so he turned around.

His heart started pounding when he saw a guard standing in front of him, a gun pointed at him. Hyunjin glanced around him and fell to his knees when he saw all of the boys laying lifelessly on the ground.

Hyunjin felt the gun press against his head and he closed his eyes. He heard the gun go off, the shot ringing through his ears. Tears filled his eyes and slipped down his cheeks.

"Hyunjin!"

A loud gasp escaped Hyunjin when he opened his eyes. Jisung was kneeled in front of him and looking at him with worried eyes.

"Are you okay? You've been staring out in space for a while," Jisung spoke. "Then you just started screaming. We didn't know what was wrong."

Oh God, I'm seeing things, Hyunjin thought. Hyunjin nodded his head. "I'm fine," he said. "I promise." But he wasn't so sure anymore.

Days passed and the hallucinations were getting worse. They made his head hurt. Hyunjin couldn't even sleep anymore. So he started to push himself away from the boys.

"Hyunjin."

Hyunjin jumped at the sound of someone saying his name, only to realize that it was Chan. Chan sat down in front of him.

"What's going on with you? You're not eating. You're not sleeping..."

"I've been having bad hallucinations," Hyunjin mumbled. "I know they're not real but...they feel real."

"What are your hallucinations about?"

"The guards," he replied. "They found us." Hyunjin looked at him. "Why do you think they let us go that day?"

"I-I don't know," Chan said. But what he didn't say was that he had been having hallucinations himself. And he didn't know what was scarier. The hallucinations or that they were the same exact as Hyunjin's.

•••

The sun was shining as boys all walked through the field. They had their bags with them and were enjoying the weather. Except for Hyunjin.

His head was pounding. It was probably due to the lack of sleep. But Hyunjin couldn't sleep well anymore. The hallucinations and dreams were becoming too intense. It was difficult for him to tell if it was real or not.

The boys all came to a stop as they came upon a tall fence, some parts of it broken and damaged. Hyunjin glanced back to see Seungmin taking a picture. Hyunjin suddenly snapped and strode towards him, knocking the camera out of his hands.

Seungmin's eyes narrowed and he shoved Hyunjin away, a folded up map falling out of his pocket and falling onto the grass. "What is your problem?" He yelled.

"You lead us here!" Hyunjin yelled as he shoved him back. Before Seungmin could shove him back, some of the boys pulled them apart.

Hyunjin shoved Woojin and Chan off of him and picked the map up, shoving it in his face. "You knew where we were going. You knew! And you still lead us here."

Hyunjin walked away from the group, ignoring the sun as it shined in his eyes. He suddenly felt light headed and his vision was becoming blurry. "What is the point of all of this?" Hyunjin mumbled as he fell to his knees. He gasped as a sharp pain started pounding in his head.

"I have to end it all," Hyunjin mumbled. He reached for his bag and pulled a gun out. After turning the safety off, he pressed it to his head.

"Hyunjin! No!" Chan screamed then started running towards him, the boys soon following after him.

Warm tears ran down Hyunjin's cheeks as he put his finger on the trigger. "I shouldn't have left," he whimpered softly. He ignored the screams of the boys and pulled the trigger.

"No! Hyunjin!" They all screamed as they ran faster. But by the time they reached him, it was too late.

"Hyunjin?"

Hyunjin's eyes opened as he moved his arm away from his face. It was suddenly nightfall and he was laying on the grass under a bridge.

Hyunjin moved his gaze around to see the boys crowding around him, grinning at him. Chan reached his hand down and although he was confused, he took Chan's hand.

Had it all been a dream? A hallucination? It had felt so real. Hyunjin was so convinced it was real this time.

And he couldn't help but feel like something was off. The way the boys all smiled at him. It almost seemed like it wasn't real. Like it wasn't actually happening.

"Is this real?" Hyunjin mumbled and looked back at Chan. But when he went to look at him, he was gone. And so were the boys.

"Hello?" Hyunjin screamed as he looked around frantically. Where had they gone? Was he hallucinating again? Or was this real? He couldn't tell anymore and his head was hurting too much to think about it.

Hyunjin fell to his knees, a loud sob escaping him. He just wanted it to stop. All of it. The hallucinations, the headaches, the confusion.

It was like he was trapped in his own personal hell. Only this time, he was certain it was real.