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- One Day,
One Night,
I'll realise,
I lost everything I've got. -
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Soft rain was dripping on the warm pavement and filled the air with its smell, which I loved and loathed just as much- No, it wasn't the smell, it was that it reminded me of every single mishap I had ever encountered in my life I  hated.

There had been a storm on the night my mother left me behind. If I focused hard enough, I could still hear the thunder in the distance and see her back, as she walked away from me... without ever turning back. Her back and long hair embracing it became all I remembered of the woman, who gave birth to me. I've been told on several occasions how much I looked like her, but all I saw when I pictured her was rain, her back and her determination to leave me and never turn back.

It always was loss and rain after that day. 

Often just bits and bobs; losing my favourite scarf, a failed homework, getting sick, missing the bus... Maybe it all was just bad luck or a strange coincidence, but how could it be that only these things happened when it rained? 

I decided for myself that nothing good could ever happen on a rainy day.

It was pouring, when I discovered my husband was having an affair too. He and his mistress were walking through the streets, sharing an umbrella laughing, while I was drenched in rain and tears. Static frozen to the spot, I watched them walk off, just like I had watched my mother several years earlier. Thunder roared in the distance, most likely trying to mock me even further. Lightning followed and yet though I wished for it to hit me, it didn't and still in a way it felt just like if it had. My body felt hurt and weak and my mind numb and empty. At some point my knees had given in and they hit the wet pavement, but there was no pain... The only thing I felt was the cold rain and my soaked clothes on my skin. 

The memory made me shudder, even though it was quite warm... Just like on the day I signed the divorce paper, my mind added bitterly. We're not hung up on him, I told myself, meaning every word. The betrayal had hurt, but what I really missed wasn't my husband, but being a wife. Cooking, cleaning, looking after the house... my husband and one day our children. 

I hated being on my own. 

After my divorce I had moved in into my grandparent's house, who had died a year prior and my aunt hadn't yet managed to sell it, so I moved in. It was a beautiful small building in the middle of the countryside. An old run down rural road lead to it and though I couldn't deny its charm- mainly the one of the picturesque landscape (fields, forests, who surrounded the house and made it truly look like the scenery of a painting)- I was hesitant. I hadn't known my grandparent's nor had I ever been to the countryside. The closest village was twenty minutes on bicycle away and was nothing more than 10 houses, a post office, a pub, a train station and a grocery store. The silence was calming and unsettling at the same time. 

Beggar's can never be choosers though.

At first I didn't mind- I was busy cleaning and rearranging the house and later on I occupied myself with the garden, but after two months there was nothing left to distract myself with and I had to face the loneliness... I managed for some time, but one day I took on a part time job at the grocery store, not for the money, but solely to be with people. It was quiet too, and monotonous, but I wasn't alone... at least not until I got home.

The house was dark and cold. Unwelcoming even no matter my efforts. It didn't feel like a home at all, but like a temporary solution, that slowly had turned into a prison, I feared I'd never would get out off again. Prison probably was the wrong term... it was more like a tomb and I had been buried alive. Deep down I knew my efforts were in vain, yet I still tried and plastered a smile on my face every morning before I left. 

The sky had been grey and I knew what that meant only too well. My chest clenched and I send a prayer to whatever god there was, wishing for no rain or for at least that the day came to pass without any incident. How foolish of me, I had thought when I left the grocery store and felt the light drizzle on my skin. The smell of rain I loved and hated so much, already hanging heavy in the air. 

I sighed and walked to my bicycle, not caring that I'd probably would end up soaked until I reached my house. Could be worse, a car could run you over, my mind informed me and for a split second I wondered if that really would be worse.  I shock my head at the thought and got on my bicycle. The seat was slightly wet, as was expected, but at least the road wasn't. 

The ride was a relative dry affair. Part of it lead through a forest and the trees sheltered the road from the rain, but also from light. No matter at which time of the day or what season, one decided to drive on this road, it always was gloomy. The problematic part yet were the curves, it nearly was impossible to spot anything else on the road until it was too late. Hardly anyone frequented it though. I hadn't encountered more than six cars in the two years I'd been staying here and therefore I worried little even though I was at the clear disadvantage in a car crash. 

As the thought crossed my mind I heard the wind pick up its speed. A rustling went through the trees, followed by an eerie silence.  I shuddered, sensing something bad was about to happen and I wasn't let down... thunder roared in the distance and heavy rain hit the trees. 

A car could run you over, my mind repeated mockingly, just as the headlights of a car entered my view. 

Nothing good ever happens when it rains, I thought as I closed my eyes and prepared for the hit. The car was too fast and had spotted me too late, it was impossible for it to miss me. I knew I was most likely about to die, yet strangely I felt no fear... only some minor sadness that it would end this way.

The collision knocked me of my bicycle right into the car. I covered my face with my arms in the last second in a feeble effort to limit the damage. Strangely it didn't hurt in that moment, even as the recoil knocked me down to the ground, I felt no pain. It took my brain nearly another 5 seconds to realise I was injured, but had survived. 

My arms hurt, but didn't seem broken. They had a few scratches and were most likely bruised as well. My legs had a few scratches and a cut too... but I was alive. Flabbergasted all I could do was stare at my hands and wonder why the rain had screwed me over once more. Couldn't it at least finish its job and put me out of this misery all together, instead of torturing me? 

"Are you alright?"The voice was soft, yet held a slightly panicked edge. "You're okay, are you? Please..." I didn't look up and still stared at my hands, but it was unmistakably a man, who had spoken. For a second I wondered where he had come from until I realised he had probably been  the driver of the car.

"Can you hear me?" he tried again, when I didn't reply. Then touched me lightly on the shoulder. I could hear him, but my mind was still elsewhere. All it managed to come up with were one question and one sentence.

"Why am I not dead...?There's no point anymore..."

The man let out a deep breath, either out of relief that I was indeed well enough or out of surprise, because of my strange questions  and my sad tone of voice. "Did you want to die?" I still was staring at my hands, but I could feel his eyes on me. "I-I-I..."he stuttered, clearly at loss for words. 

A silence settled between us. Only the rain hitting the leaves was audible, which made my stomach turn in anger. "Stupid rain..." I mumbled and tried to stand up. Maybe it could take everything of me, but it hadn't managed to kill me yet, I thought. My legs were wobbly and my balance was off. I was about to fall back down when an arm found its way around my shoulders.

"Take it slow..."The man with the soft voice had a faint lisp, which I hadn't noticed earlier. It was endearing in a way. Curious I looked up into a pair of blue eyes, that seemed vaguely familiar, as was his face and the blond hair... or maybe it was only the angelic aspect of his appearance that entranced me so in that instant.

"Thank you..." I mumbled nearly bashful. 

I couldn't see his frown, because of his long bangs, but his eyes seemed to scowl. "I nearly killed you..."

He was right of course and yet I felt no ill feelings towards him. He wasn't the one          to blame, the rain was. 

"But you didn't..."

Irritated he sighed and shock his head. "Therefore I crashed my car..."

I hadn't noticed his car until now, because I had been too occupied by starring at my own hands and wondering why I was still alive... I took in a sharp breath at the sight. In order to prevent hitting me, he had hit a tree instead... There was nothing much left of the passenger seat, which made me realise how dangerous the stunt he had pulled must have been. 

"Are you out of your mind? You could have died!" I exclaimed partly enraged and shocked at the carelessness of the stranger.

The man's only response was a sigh. 

"I'm sorry," I added quickly. "Your stupid stunt saved my life. Thank you."

The worry I had spotted earlier in his voice seemed completely gone and annoyance and irritation had taken its place, even if I didn't understand why.  Would he have preferred it if I had been mad at him, instead of just relieved that the situation had turned out that luckily? Or maybe I was just misinterpreting his expression and he really was only honestly worried.

"I'm fine, really!" I reassured him without success though. The grim expression remained on his face, which made me sigh. "My arms hurt and my legs feel weak, but it could have been worse... a lot worse. So ehhh.... can you stop worrying? We probably should walk back to the village to call somebody for the car and maybe you'd like to inform your family that you're fine too... "

He snorted. "Family? Certainly not." I was surprised at his obvious distaste, but didn't comment on it. It was none of my business and he must have certainly had his reasons, even if he didn't bother to elaborate them. "But you're right we should go and..." The blond stopped for a second as if he had changed his mind. "Never mind, you live close, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," I answered truthfully, yet confused. 

His face visibly relaxed, obviously content at my answer. "Then let's go there. You certainly have a telephone, I could use as well, do you?"

I only nodded. Part of me wanted to argue with him, but getting home sounded nice and I was still too weak to put up much of a fight anyway. 

He strengthened his hold on me and though the heavy smell of rain hung in the air,  I had no problem to catch his too. He smelled strongly of cigarettes, which contrasted his neat appearance. His clothes were loud, but no doubt very fashionable. His long  blond hair looked soft, nearly as if he had just washed it  and I nearly expected it to smell of soap, yet his face seemed haunted, as if it had seen too many late nights and too little sleep in a while. The longer I stared at him the more I gained the impression I knew him somehow.

"Have we-"

"Can you-"

We had started and had stopped talking at the same time, which made us both smile. I nodded at him to speak first. After all my matter was no urgent one.  "Just tell me where we need to go and you can continue with what you wanted to say," he told me.

"Just down the road, it's a bit past the forest..."I replied and he nodded, before we started walking. My legs still felt weak and my body overall felt like I had been hit by a truck, but considering the circumstances it could have been a lot worse... I probably just needed a few days of rest and a new bicycle. I hadn't bothered to have a look at it, but I doubted it was better off than the man's car.  Suddenly a  thought crossed my mind I hadn't considered up until now, would I be held responsible for the accident and had to pay my share to have the car fixed? It had seemed expensive and though I wasn't too bad off, because of my husbands money... a car reparation, especially one like that had to be pricey...

"So what did you want to ask me?" he suddenly interrupted my thoughts and I noticed we had at least left half the way already behind us without a word shared between us. We were strangers after all, what was there to say to each other? It was just a unfortunate occasion that had pulled us together for the time being. 

"I wondered if we had met by chance before? I don't want to to intrude, but your face looks familiar, yet I can't place it..." I felt him stiffen next to me and it made me somehow anxious too. Had I done something wrong, I wondered. "Sorry that probably was an impolite thing to ask, I just had the impression I had encountered you before... Like you'd worked with my husband and we passed each other on the floor when I brought him lunch to the office once," I tried to explain my feeling and it worked, just as sudden as his body had frozen up it relaxed again. 

"You're married?" was all he asked though and I had no idea what to make out of his question.

"Divorced... actually," I corrected him and thought I heard him mumble "good no husband to deal with...", but it hadn't been more than a whisper, so I couldn't be too sure.

"So we haven't met before?" I asked anew, at which he only shock his head. Either he was cautious of what to say, shy or he wasn't very skilled at keeping a conversation at all, I thought as a silence settled once more between us, which unsettled me. It wasn't like I had taken a sudden interest in him, but it distracted me from the pain and my own thoughts... No, in a strange way I was glad for the company too. The weekend was about to start which meant two days alone in my prison... and no matter the circumstances we had met under, he was a person to talk to.

"Can you tell me your name then? It would be nice to refer to you as something other in my mind than as the man who nearly run me over," I started off, only for the man to abruptly stop. I curiously glanced at him, but couldn't judge his expression. Surprise maybe? Panic? Or maybe I was only imaging things, the sudden stop had me in pain and my hold on him tightened, which in return made my arms feel worse, making me flinch. His gaze was still on me and I knew he had caught my pained expression as well.

"You're more injured than you let on, aren't you?" The worry in his voice from the first time he had addressed me was back, but now that I was looking at his face I could spot something else too; guilt.

"It could have been a lot worse..." I tried to reassure him. "It was an accident, you're not to blame."

My words feel on deaf ears though. He looked away, but I could still see the guilt clearly written on his face. He blamed himself, though if he hadn't acted as careless and ignorant about his own life as he had I probably would have been dead. From my point of view he had saved me if anything. 

"I'm sorry..." he nearly whispered. "If I can make it up to you in any shape or form, please don't hesitate to tell me how..."His guilty tone of voice was laced with an even deeper sadness, which nearly broke my heart.

"Promise me not to feel guilty about this..." I announced with a bright smile on my lips, even though I dreaded it was in vain. Disbelieving he looked at me and for a second the guilt and the sadness seemed both to disappear from his expression. It was no win, but a start. 

"You don't want anything else?" he asked suspiciously and I wondered what else he had requested for me to ask. A million pounds? I nearly snickered to myself at the ridiculous thought. There was just something I wanted of him, which he had evaded earlier. 

"Your name would be nice too." 

He bid his lip and seemed quite hesitant for a moment, which made me frown. Was I perhaps overlooking something, I wondered, maybe I shouldn't have intruded... The man seemed in turmoil, fighting an inner battle with himself to tell me or not and it pained me to witness. 

"I'm-"

"Lewis... Lewis Jones." he interrupted me finally and for some reason he seemed awfully relieved. 

"I'm Ruth Ho- well... Williams."

Lewis smiled amused. "You're a strange one, Ruth. Is that why your husband left you?"

He definitely was not shy then, but what else was there about him, I wondered. Lewis whoever he was, had something about him I couldn't put my finger on. The looks of an angel and the soft voice with the charming little lisp, the worn down expression linked with sadness and guilt, and yet he had spirit. 

 "Do you threat everyone that rudely you nearly kill?" I retorted bluntly. 

His smile only grew and I couldn't help, but notice how truly magnificent it was... It was pure innocence with a certain mischievous air about it and it only entranced me even further. 

"You're the first person actually, so let's say you're special."

His silliness made me laugh, which hurt. Who knew laughing involved that many muscles?

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