"A sprout? You have a sprout already?" Nate mutters behind me while following me into my bedroom. "You look miserable."

We sit down side by side on my bed speaking in low whispers so Shurik won't hear in the kitchen.

"I'm tired of making pies and don't you think our rules are silly? I don't want a stupid berry to determine my fate. I hate strawberries and I hate this fair! I would have been gone by now if I hadn't heard her crying."

"You tried to leave? Sadie, don't you think you may be overreacting a little? I mean, the pairing isn't so bad. If you don't like your pair then just wait another year and grow another strawberry for them to count. You know things aren't so set in stone. If you don't like your pair just refuse them and wait a year for another. You'll find someone eventually," Nate tries to comfort me, but he's forgetting I need my parents' approval to reject my pair.

His parents are still alive and mine are not. 

The Jesters would not listen to Shurik even if he somehow convinced them he's my acting guardian. I'll be stuck with my pair unless they refuse me – which isn't something I can afford to risk hoping for. 

I wanted to be gone by now to avoid all of this.

Nate holds the newborn for me while I rest my head in my hands.

"I tried to leave again this morning. I found the sprout in the forest. I think she's from another fair. She was all alone and when I picked her up. Shurik found me and dragged me back here. He's crazy, Nate. I can't live here anymore..." I trail off with a trembling lip.

Nate looks at the doorway of the kitchen with a glower, lowering his voice, "Don't you ever think about his reason for not pairing off already?" he asks slowly. "Biologically, he's not even your relative," he begins with a whisper. "He's a rasblood. He doesn't need to watch over you anymore, but he still does," he says. He folds his arms. "It's no wonder you're afraid of him, you should be," he finishes in disgust.

"W-what are you talking about?" 

My throat feels dry. A sick feeling twists in the bottom of my stomach when I see Shurik step in the room with us crossing his arms.

"Nothing," he chides while handing me the newborn sprout. Nate continues, "I'll see you tonight at the pairing ceremony."

"Nate-" I start to say, but he's already left the room.

Shurik watches him leave. 

Shurik scowls down at me blocking me from following Nate. I can't help but look up at him with new worry remembering Nate's warning. 

Rain begins to pour overhead of our home and I back away from Shurik returning to my bed.

"If he ends up being your pair, I bet you won't be so upset. In fact, you'd probably be quite content with things."

"I don't care who my pair is. It's our fair that's the issue." 

He stares at the floor while speaking, "That's not what it sounded like to me. From what I gathered, it's me you're running from."

"Not everything is about you," I grit back.

I'm not really that surprised he could hear our discussion. Our tent is small.

He looks tense like I've provoked him or dampened his ego, but he doesn't have a right to be angry right now. He shouldn't have been eavesdropping and he shouldn't have stopped me from leaving. 

"Am I really that...awful?"

"Awful? No, you've taken care of me and practically raised me. You can be hard to get along with and I'm going through a lot. Some days, I feel like I'm just aging away in this tent and will never get to discover relationships like the humans get to. I want to leave and experience more than this place."

His voice rises, "Hard to get along with?" 

Is that all he heard?

I try to be careful with my wording, "Yes, Shurik. I'm grateful you took care of me and all, but I'm grown up now. You can be unbearable and moody at times. Sometimes...I feel like you're the real child here and it took me years to see it for myself. I don't need you here with me anymore," I explain slowly.

However, I think after I admitted him being hard to get along with his mind tuned out my reasoning. I feel like we're having a repeat argument of the same exact discussion we had years ago about me being able to live on my own without him.

I think it's only fair he knows how I feel. It was only last night he came home drunk and he still has yet to fully elaborate what that was about.

"I'm just trying to protect you, Sadie. Don't you think I want my own life too? I've sacrificed years of my life staying cooped up in here with you. You were the one who got to enjoy your life. But I? I didn't even have a childhood because I was too carried away watching over you. And what do you do in return? You choose to refuse to enjoy the life I built for you! Don't you dare call me a child ever again! I gave up everything for you!" he shouts with fury.

He's right...

I really am selfish and never considered everything he's gone through to protect my future. He sacrificed a lot of his time just to feed me and raise me. All this time, I really have been not just ugly on the outside, but inside too. How could I have not seen him hurting for so long?

"I'm sorry," I whisper in a hollow voice.

His large light green wings fold behind him as he calms down, but my small ones still flutter behind me rapidly in the aftermath of my shock and panic attack at his outburst. His face softens a little, but I don't want to risk enduring any more of his yelling fits even if he is speaking the truth.

I'll be on the receiving end of his emotional distress and I don't know how much more I can handle. The thought makes me feel shallow though because I know he needs attention and someone to talk to too.

His hand lands on my shoulder, but I flinch. He withdraws it speaking in a hoarse voice, "Sadie?"

I muster a smile, but inside I feel torn up to bits. The sprout in my arms hasn't stopped her crying since we began arguing and a stinky smell drifts up from her newly soiled makeshift flour sack outfit.

If I speak, I know I'll lose my control and start crying again. Still, the least I can do for him is be happy to show my gratitude for everything he's done. So I remain silent, trying my best to keep my smile and be happy for my pairing day. I start to walk into the kitchen too afraid to look up at my brother's face to see his anger still there. So I duck my head walking by him into the kitchen to find another empty flour sack to change the sprout's clothes.

Once I set the sprout onto the counter, I pick up an empty flour sack shaking the remaining small amount of white flour from it. A cloud of white dust exits the empty brown threaded bag and I see my brother move behind me in the corner of my vision.

The rain outside becomes deafening loud as thunder echos somewhere above our tent and beyond our fairgrounds. I hear him open the entrance of our tent letting in a gust of humid windy air along with the rain whirring around.

It enters our kitchen sending my hair flying all over the place and the cabinet doors rattle around me. The chaos quickly comes to an end as he closes the entrance behind him letting the thick material of our tent roll back down to the floor. I can see Shurik's silhouette outside the wall of our tent. I bite my lip watching it disappear as he flys up into the storm heading who knows where.

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