"What are you doing here Ivan? You already have one pair. Are you fishing for another?" my brother chuckles.

When I turn around, I find him openly glaring at my childhood friend as if he poses some kind of threat.

His hand leaves my shoulder as he steps to the counter beside me.

"Nope, just checking in with her. Something you haven't been doing a great job of I see," Ivan muses.

"You're too funny. You know, Sadie still keeps that flower crown you made her years ago in our room. I think she's still holding out that you'll leave her best friend."

Ivan's face contorts into confusion. "What...?"

"She's wanted you since you were children. Even drew pictures of you in her diary," my brother explains, "Sadie looks innocent, but she's really quite shallow and selfish," he finishes off.

My heart is stuck in my throat. Ivan looks at me like he's seeing me for the first time as his mouth forms into a hard line.

"Wow, I'm not even attracted to you. I just looked out for you out of pity. I'm sorry I never caught on, but I never meant to lead you on. Who even keeps diaries nowadays, am I right?" Ivan laughs heartily along with my brother.

My heart withers. I struggle to find the right words to say. What ends up happening though is I end up saying nothing at all because Frittle calls his name and he leaves me behind with my tormentor. My movements are sluggish as I drift out of the kitchen and into our living space. I hover by my bedside alongside the invisible dark clouds storming in my head. My ears ring as tears drip down my face.

I pick up my unfinished string of gum wrappings and sit down on the floor working on completing the long decorative string. The only time I get up to leave is when the humans ring the bell on my food stand ledge or holler for me to come up front so they can buy my pies. My brother left some time ago to go off with his friends somewhere. I figured he'd be too bored to stay here and really watch me like he claimed to be so intent on doing.

By the time my last strawberry pie is sold, the sky is already darkening as the sun begins to set just in time as our fair closes for the day. I drop my glamour and hang up my apron in my room. After I finish cleaning the kitchen, I struggle to reach the drawstring to pull down the shutters of my food stand. I stand on my tiptoes and bite my lip with concentration.

The weight and pain of my wings makes my usual struggle to close up worse. A gust of chilly evening air enters my tent and I give up when my brother grabs the string effortlessly closing the shutters for me.

"Where did you go?"

He appears happier than normal as he wordlessly passes by me. He comes out of our room in his grey shirt and black pants with his glamour gone along with his apron.

Maybe he's finally come to the realization that he'll be rid of me forever tomorrow and went to celebrate with his buddies.

He burps and I narrow my eyes seeing a few shimmering silver bubbles escape his mouth and pop above the sink. He smells like cider mixed with yeast and his stomach is bloated like he just ate a feast. He promised he would bring home food and I already checked the fridge, it's still empty. I guess he didn't buy anything this morning. Wherever he went this afternoon he clearly didn't buy anything either.

"Crantz's," I hear him reply, but his delayed answer has me worried.

He heads out of the kitchen with clumsy footing and I follow.

I step out in front of him. "What's gotten into you?" I demand.

I'm not prepared when he pushes me out of his way with one strong thrust of his arm. I don't think he meant to send me crashing to the wall, but my back bumps into the flower portrait I made for his eighteenth birthday. It clatters to the ground falling on its face. The glass gets crushed beneath its heavy weight. I jump up to avoid cutting my feet.

Shurik kicks the portrait across the room still looking dazed. Then, he looks at me as if in afterthought.

My heart hammers, but quickly hardens, when his face finally relaxes as he appears to come to his senses. What does he think he's doing getting drunk like this? It scares me because it's not hard to pick out who'd win if he tried to fight me in some kind of drunk anger fit if he ever had one. He never has though and this is the first time I've ever seen him like this.

I'm not sticking around to find out if it becomes a pattern. I also am not sticking around here because who knows if my pair could be a regular drunk or crazier than my brother or some old creepy man.

"I'm sorry," my brother tells me softly.

I force what feels like the fifth fake smile I've made so far today.

Then, I fly over to my bed and quickly get under the covers. "It's okay, Shurik."

In reality, my mind is screaming for me to up and leave home right now. He pulls up the browning piece of parchment of my flower drawing I made him and takes it into the kitchen. Then he comes back and cleans up the glass after picking up the broken wooden frame. After he finishes cleaning the mess, he turns away disappearing into the kitchen.

The water travels through the copper pipes in our tent above me with a whistle. I don't care if he chases me again, I'll make it away from him somehow. This time though, I'll wait until he goes to sleep.

Eventually, my brother finishes his shower and the smell of raspberry soap filters through the air. When I was younger I loved the smell because I quickly grew tired of strawberry-scented and flavored everything. Now, I find the smell just as nauseating and dreadful more now than ever.

Shurik used to be the hand that fed me and protected me. I told him I would be okay on my own. That I was okay with him finding his own pair. That I no longer needed tucked in at night or help making my pies.

Ever since that long discussion that escalated into an even longer argument, we agreed to disagree and things have been just okay.

Up until the last few years we still got along. When I was young, I thought of him as my parent. Then when I was old enough I understood he was my brother. Now though, with the way he's been acting, I'm seeing him less and less as a brother. It's weird since we're both adults now and some days he may as well be a stranger with the way he acts.

We're more or less equals now because I have the capacity to understand not just our situation, but the fair too. I honestly don't know what's gotten into him though. The smell of raspberry soap grows stronger. I see the outline of my brother's figure in the dimness of our room. The lights above us brighten slightly.

"I don't understand why you're acting this way. Leave me alone."

"Don't cry sweetie pie," my brother coos. His gaze veers sideways, lips twisting in a twisted smirk. "I d-didn't mean to...scare you," his voice slurs.

I roll over on my side facing the pink and red striped wall of the tent as Shurik tucks my covers up to my chin. I look up at him over my shoulder remembering how much I trusted him when I was young. Will he always see me as a child? Because I'm certainly no sprout anymore. He used to tuck me in like this every night, but now it just makes my skin crawl. He hasn't tucked me in since I was sixteen and tomorrow I'll be twenty-one.

I'm trapped, in my bed and in this tent with him.

Tomorrow, I'll be in the same exact position, but with my pair.

Sure, I can hope they will be different, but unlike me, they are bound to want to stay at the fair forever. Shurik sits on the edge of my bed. I jerk back onto my side glaring at the wall of the tent realizing he doesn't intend on falling asleep. He'll sit here all night to ensure I don't leave.

"I can't sleep with you sitting on my bed. I'm tired, Shurik," I say carefully. I feel him stand up and go to his bed.

"I know what you're planning, Sadie. I have found some things going on in our community, but you can't leave tonight. You must wait to be paired. Don't you at least want to know who it is?"

What did he find out? Is that why he went to Crantz and drank so much?

How could I not want to know who it is? It doesn't mean I want them though. I'm not letting some stupid fruit determine my fate, but Shurik is right. I am curious to find out who would have been my pair. It's not enough to make me stay here though.

He'll fall asleep eventually, and then, I'll have my real chance to escape.

🍓