I was trembling.

The tears falling down my face burned my eyes as if they were blood.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you looking at her?

I was holding a framed picture of us. We had had it in our bedroom, on the bedside table on her side of the bed. It was a picture from our honeymoon in the Maldives, and her smile was reaching all the way through her eyes and into the stars. Her hair, thick and red, was falling wet along her freckled shoulders after having been bathed in the beautiful ocean.

I closed my eyes, leaned my forehead against hers.

Ever since she died, I had kept that frame upside down in a drawer, but from time to time, I picked it up just to miss her.

I would do anything for just one more minute with you.

I put the frame down, upside down, in its drawer.

I closed the drawer, hiding her, as well as my emotions.

I had to, in order to keep living.

I was leaning my elbow leisurely on the back of my chair, enjoying the light stretch of my shirt over my chest; my suit was unbuttoned over it.

That really was the difference between tailored shirts and suits, and those you bought in a store. When someone had hand-sewn a shirt to fit perfectly against your body, it never felt uncomfortable no matter how you moved; it was only a light stretch.

I took my glass of champagne, twirled it around my glass before sipping it.

"I'm very pleased to have you on board", I said. "You clearly have a lot of experience in your field. And your LinkedIn profiles truly impressed me. Not too personal. I appreciate that, on a professional plane. I don't care what you do on your private social media, however. That is entirely up to you."

The men opposite me, both middle-aged and clearly well-off, raised their champagne glasses filled with the champagne I had bought at me, and I toasted them. We were surrounded by a splendid view on all four sides, the restaurant being a beautiful one on the thirty-fifth floor on the top of a skyscraper.

"Thank you for inviting us for dinner. What do you want to know?" one of them asked.

"Well", I said, just as a waiter came in with our starters; roasted chestnuts in cranberry sauce with parsnip. I had chosen the menu, which I always did when having dinners with potential employees to establish a bit of dominance over them. "I chose the two of you because you work with different programs. I want you both to tell me about what work you've done with your respective programs, in previous companies. Mr Lewis?" The dark-haired one nodded. I had seen him cast glances at me as if he wanted me. I tried to ignore it as it made me extremely uncomfortable. "Python is your program of choice, isn't it?"

He nodded, and told me about it as we ate our starter. It was delicious. Then, it was Mr Connelly's turn to tell me about his work.

When the main came in, we were chit-chatting about politics. I was very much to the left, which surprised many, so I kept quiet about that now as I didn't want to cause any surprises at this point; my company would do well with these men. But I wanted to make sure they weren't to the far-right or, quite frankly, not to the right at all. It pleased me that Mr Lewis was centre while Mr Connelly was actually to the left.

The main was delicious. We ate a crispy lace cabbage with a cheesy potato gratin and side salad. We were on our third bottle of champagne, all paid by me, of course. It was really getting to my head and I loved it.

And it was when I finished another glass that I noticed him.

He had noticed me already, and was looking at me a bit shyly yet curiously.

I was taken aback. In the university garden, he had been very kind yet not at all star-struck in a way that made me question whether he knew who I was or not. He'd worn black cargo trousers and a checked flannel shirt then, his hair up in a ponytail, but now, I was surprised he was wearing a dress.

And he wore it so elegantly, it made me very curious about him. The dress was short, black velvet, short-sleeved and V-lined, with small crystals down the front. His hair was up in a clip, showing off elegant collarbones. He had something black around his eyes and some lip-gloss.

He looked lovely.

I was surprised seeing him there as the restaurant was very expensive, but he looked like he fitted right into such an expensive and extravagant place, as well as with the friends he was surrounded with.

So young, I couldn't help but think.

I raised my glass at him as I finished it, and he looked down with a blushing smile. I liked that. I wondered then if he had received the gift I had sent him. The iPad and the pen.

I turned to the two men and kept the conversation going as we had cheeses and pralines with our coffee. But all the while, I cast glances at the man in the black velvet dress.

And almost every time, I saw he was looking at me, too.

I was getting more and more distracted from my meeting. I considered it didn't matter, seeing they had accepted the offer already.

And next time I turned to look at the man in the black velvet dress, even more dazzling than the glittering evening skyline visible behind him through the glass walls, he was sitting alone, without his friends.

"Excuse me, gentlemen", I told the two programmers, my new employees. "I have seen someone I know. I should go say hi."

They excused me.

And I stood up to walk to the man in the black velvet dress.

When he saw me approach, I couldn't help but notice how his lips glistened.