What are you doing here?

Never in a million years did I expect to see him here. In New Zealand. As the CEO of my new working place. Why? Why hadn't I looked it up? Why hadn't I read more about the company? I was angry with myself.

And I was angry with him.

How dare he bother me? I had finally moved on with my life, found a new place in the world where I belonged. And now, he tore up each and every one of my old wounds all over again.

And he seemed to be in just as great of a shock to see me as I was to see him.

"Izuna..." he finally said. His voice was dark and silent. "It's so good to see you."

I just stared at him. A million thoughts went through my mind, and everything else was quiet around me. I tried to force myself to speak, but found I was unable to.

Come on, speak... Speak!!

"How..." I begun, and my voice was weak. "How dare you?!" Tobirama jerked and took a step back. "How dare you say you missed me?! After luring me to sleep with you and then just vanishing!" People outside could definitely hear me, but I didn't care. They liked me already. They might take my side. Let them hear about what he did. "As if it wasn't enough that you were cheating on your woman."

At this, Tobirama looked as if he'd been slapped.

"What..."

"I found the photo of her in your drawer", I said, voice ice cold. "When I was looking for a pair of socks to borrow."

At first, Tobirama looked as if he didn't understand anything. But then, his entire face changed. It was as if someone had pushed him out of a waterfall; it was the only way I could describe it.

"Izuna..."

"Please", I said, and my voice cracked. "Leave."

"But-"

"LEEEEEAVE!!" I screamed so loudly, my throat turned sore.

Tobirama looked frightened. But he respected my wish.

He slowly backed out of my room. 

That night, I did what all of us needed to do sometimes.

I phoned my mum.

"Mum", I croaked.

We spoke for hours. At first, she let me explain everything, and she listened with great care. Then, she spent a long time providing soft comfort, not giving advice as to what I should do. I suddenly felt incredibly homesick.

"Maybe", she said. "You should book a trip home to come visit."

"But I just came here!" I exclaimed.

"I know. But book it for the future. That way, the homesickness will ease."

She was right, I noticed. I booked a two-week trip in a few months when I knew I could take some time off. I video-called my group of friends in our group chat, and all of them actually answered.

They screamed in glee as I told them I was visiting, making me feel like one in a million by the pure happiness they displayed. I would tell them what had happened, but not now, as I felt too exhausted from the long but needed conversation with my mother. Now, I wanted to enjoy the privilege of having friends.

As I went to bed, I wondered if Tobirama had friends. Was he still with the red-headed girl?

I fell asleep as fell asleep as carefully as an autumn leaf falling to a bed of long-dead ones.

It was on the morning that I suddenly became afraid that my colleagues would think less of me for having screamed at the CEO.

I chastised myself for having ruined this new life that I had grown to love so much. Yet, I couldn't blame myself for reacting the way I had reacted.

But when I arrived at work, I was swept off my feet by my colleagues.

They didn't seem to think badly of me at all. Instead, they seemed to be incredibly protective.

"Are you okay?" they asked during the first coffee break of the day.

"Yeah", I said and looked down, feeling I was blushing.

"Are you safe? Do you need help?"

It took me a while to realise what they were referring at.

"Oh... No, it's just... Old history between me and... And the boss. I didn't know he worked here."

"Just tell us if you need anything."

I was so touched I cried a little in my office. The tears landed on the screen of the iPad he had gifted me five years ago.

The months passed. I didn't see any hint of Tobirama, nor did I heard from him. Mark the vice CEO seemed to take care of most things, at least most visible things. I allowed myself to relax, and fell back in love with my life. Summer, or rather winter since I was on the other side of the planet compared to home, came and went, and September turned into October.

"I've always wondered whether they'll have pumpkin spice latte in October or in March here", I told Marlene as we were video calling one night, talking about all the fun things we would do with the gang when I came visit. I would stay at my parents' home the first week, and then live with each and every friend for one night each.

"What is the result?" she asked.

I smiled up at her in the camera as I lay on my back in my bed.

"Seems like pumpkins are an October and Halloween thing and has less to do with the actual season."

I took the plane back home via Singapore. It was like being removed from one painting to another, the two having been painted by artists who preferred vastly different colour palettes.

It was fantastic, seeing my parents again. They took care of me, my mother cooking pies and quiches, my father letting me help building things around the house.

I saw my friends every day. We went for walks and for coffee. We went clubbing and to the cinema. We had cooking nights and even a flower arrangement day, since Marlene had taken a course in flower arrangements.

But I also got into a routine with myself. Every day, I went for an hour-long walk on my own. I let the crisp autumn air paint my face, the soles of my shoes crunch the leaves that had just fallen here, but had just bloomed back in my new home.

It was then that I realised how used I'd gotten to my life in New Zealand. Arriving in autumn didn't make me feel as if I'd changed seasons. Instead, it made me feel like a touch of autumn within the spring of my home.

Everything changed on All Saint's Day.

Throughout my life, I would look back onto this one moment and feel fear grab at my heart, because what if I hadn't been exactly there at exactly that moment?

For my All Saint's Day walk, I had decided to go to the cemetery in the evening. The cemetery was unbelievably big, and it was drowning in candles and people during All Saint's. It was always beautiful, and I desired to see it.

I walked through the crisp evening along mourners, taking in the beautiful atmosphere, breathing it in. The cemetery was so vast, it would take me half an hour to just pass through it.

I almost didn't notice him. If I hadn't looked in that direction, but straight ahead, I would have missed him.

But there was his unmistakeable white hair, his size, his remarkably broad shoulders, slumped over as he stood in front of a grave with one single candle, standing completely still.

I stopped dead before I had time to think.

Then, I saw the grave.

On the grave atone was a small picture.

And it depicted the same woman I had seen on the frame in Tobirama's sock drawer all that time ago.

And on the grave stone was also her date of death, which was ten years ago.

Years before I even met him.

And I understood everything.