What do I really want to do with my life? Running away from him? Keeping secrets from my son? Avoiding him at all cost? Tapos anong kapalit? Pagod? Walang hanggang kapaguran? Walang hanggang taguan?

"What do you think is your life now kung hindi ka umalis that night?" Putol niya sa pag-iisip ko. Napaisip naman ako sa tinutukoy niyang 'that night'. Nandoon  ba siya habang nagsasagutan kami? Oh ikinuwento sa kanya ni Vulcan ang lahat ng nangyari. After all, he's still smitten with this woman beside me.

"You can ask questions if you're confuse. I will try my best to answer you honestly."
Marami akong tanong, pero ni isa, hindi ko alam kung paano itanong. Kung ano ang uunahin. Kung paano sasabihin. Kaya imbes na magtanong, isang malalim na buntong hininga na lang ang pinakawalan ko habang nakatitig sa harapan naming puno ng iba't ibang kulay at klase ng bulaklak.

"C'mon, we have enough time to have our question and answer portion. You don't have to worry."

Napabaling naman ako ng tingin sa kaniya para siguraduhing seryoso siya sa sinasabi niya. Pinikit ko ng mariin ang mga mata ko bago binalik sa harapan ang paningin. "Why?"

"Why?"

"Why did you marry his brother rather than him?" Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero 'yon ang natatanging tanong na pumasok sa utak ko simula pa noong nalaman ko ang totoo sa kanila.

Kung nagmamahalan sila noon, bakit sa kapatid niya siya nagpakasal imbes na sa kanya?

"Hmmm...bakit nga ba? All I know, that moment, I cannot live without him. Noong nalaman ko na magkapatid sila, hindi siya ang nakikita ko. 'Yong kapatid niya. I leave him without telling him. Because I know he's still young for me. We may have an understanding but we don't really love each other. Sure we have affection but that's it. Nothing more, nothing less." Nakangiti niyang salaysay habang nakatingin sa mga bulaklak.

"I didn't expected that I will going to meet his brother their. Ni sa hinagap nga hindi ko inakalang magkakagusto pa pala ko sa iba. My life in Venice? So toxic, reason why I attempt to commit suicide. Alam mo 'yon? 'Yong feeling na you are successful but at the same time...empty. 'Yong marami kang gustong ifulfill, but you don't have the strength to move forward. 'Yong kahit okay naman ang takbo ng buhay mo, pero pagod na pagod ka. Ganoon ang pakiramdam ko noon, at feeling ko, only committing suicide will going to save me from being an empty woman."

Wala akong mahanap na salitang masasabi para pagaanin ang loob niya. We may not know each other that time, pero alam ko ang pakiramdam ng walang masasandalan.

"I know we both suffer from heartbreaks. Kaya noong narinig ko ang pagtatalo niyo, I feel sorry for your husband. That time, I'm at my lowest. I had a miscarriage. And both me and his brother don't know what we're going to do. So we took different paths for a while. Assessing ourselves individually and contemplating what will be our next move. Ayaw ni mama na umalis ako, so he initiate to leave first to refresh his mind. Wala akong ibang malapitan, sure I have my in-laws support, but I can't open up to them easily. I wanted to talk to you para mailabas lahat ng kinikimkim kong sakit sa pagkawala ng baby ko but then... we're not that close. Vulcan always leave me in your care for me to have a chance na makausap ka because he believed that you can help me. But I'm a coward. That's why I'm sorry—hey! Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry...sorry for your loss." Umiiyak na saad ko. I may hate her for being Vulcan's priority back then but I can't hate her forever. Lalo na ngayong alam kong may madilim siyang nakaraan na pilit niyang kinakalimutan.

"Oh c'mon! Don't cry infront of me. I'm trying my best here to stop my tears." Natatawang ani niya habang tinutulungan akong punasan ang mga luha ko.

"How....how did you survive?" I manage to ask between my sobs.

"Courage and prayers dear. All you have to have is courage and trust to him, kung wala ka ng mga bagay na 'yon, wala. Talo ka sa lahat ng problema mo. Strength alone is not enough. Always remember, whatever happens, you have your family, your friends...and him, who you can rely on." Pagtatapos niya ng may ngiti sa labi.

Dumaan pa ang katahimikan bago niya binasag ulit 'yon.

"You should talk to your husband."

"We're not married....anymore."

Kunot noo niya akong tiningnan na may pagtataka sa mga mata. "Who said?"

Huh? "Anong who said? It happen before I left him. I filed an annulment, I signed it and I know he signed it too."

"Oh, silly! Hahahaha. He didn't even finish reading that paper. He burned it. Literally." Sagot niya ng nakangisi.

"What?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. "Then that said...all this time..."

"Yes dear. You two are just playing hide and seek. Hanggang ngayon, mag-asawa pa rin kayo. Hindi lang sa papel, but even in his eyes, you two are still legally wed." Nakangiti ng saad niya.

Tulala lang akong nakatingin sa mga bulaklak sa harapan namin habang pinaprocess ang lahat ng sinabi niya.
How come? I really thought he signed it kasi...kasi...hindi niya naman sinabi sa akin ng magkita kaming muli na hindi pala kami hiwalay. Na ako lang pala ang nag-iisip ng ganoon.

Of course! Galit ka nga sa kaniya 'di ba. Sino ba namang baliw ang sasabihing hindi kayo hiwalay kahit galit ka pa?

"Hey! What're you doing?" Gulat na pigil sa akin ni Brianna ng sampal-sampalin ko ng mahina ang pisngi ko.

"I'm fine. I just need to....you know, process things clearly."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you don't need to."

"Still. I'm sorry. For ruining your family. I hope this time, I already explained everything na bumabagabag sayo. I am going to have a happy and complete family soon, I also want your family to be happy and complete. My niece deserves that one." Wala akong ibang masabi kaya nginitian ko na lang siya.

"Don't worry. I already understand it. Siguro, kailangan ko lang munang mapag-isa. Hindi ganoon kadaling i-digest eh."

"I know. So...maiwan na muna kita? I'm going to play with your son. Is it okay?"

"Well...okay lang sa akin. Gusto mo samahan kita? Alam kong mainit dugo ni at—"

"Oh! Huwag mo ng problemahin 'yon. I can handle her. Hindi niya naman siguro ako itutulak right?" Natatawang saad niya na nakapagpakaba sa akin.

"Of course not! My sister may be a dragon but she has a heart." Pagtatanggol ko pa na tinawanan lang niya ulit.

"I believe you." Maikling sagot niya bago ako niyakap at iniwan mag-isa sa garden.
So, what I am supposed to do now?