Chapter 9: Tangled Miseries

The deafening silence of melancholy echoed as the droplets of liquid gradually escaped the corner of his eyes. His emotions shifted from a dreadful wolf to a lone one, and that silence made me somehow regretted the words that I utter.

As soon as he turned his back on us, I immediately grabbed my purse and swiftly pulled my cap and earphones. Atty. Salvatore wiped his tears and looked at me in the rear mirror, making me use my cap and cover my downcast face.

“I—I’m sorry…” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to…”

I frustratingly bit my lower lip and pulled the earphones to my ear. Sana. Sana hindi ko na lang sinabi ‘yon. Nang tumunog ang makina, tinuon ko ang buong atensyon ko sa labas habang pinakikinggan ang musika mula sa aking telepono.

Dahil sa sabik at pagnanais kong matapos ang kasong ito, nakasakit ako nang hindi ko namamalayan. Bukod pa ro’n, hindi man lamang ako nakinig sa aking mga kasama kahit ilang beses na nila akong pinatatahimik. Umpisa pa lamang, alam kong kasalanan ko, alam kong mali ako, ngunit pinagpatuloy ko pa rin.

Katahimikan. Buhat nang umalis kami sa Norzagaray, Bulacan, walang kahit isa ang naglakas-loob na basagin o siraan ang munting katahimikan sa loob ng masikip na sasakyan hanggang sa makarating kami sa aming unibersidad. Si Atty. Salvatore ang pinakunang lumabas sa amin, hindi na siya nagpaalam o tumingin lamang sa amin.

Ang tanga mo talaga, Alithea.

Nang makalabas kaming lahat sa van ay binigyang pansin ako ni Detective Castillo, nakatingin siya sa akin na tila ba may nais sabihin mula sa kanyang bibig na napupuno ng kuryosidad. Agad naman na nawala ang atensyon ko sa kanya nang may humawak sa aking braso.

“Thea,” seryosong sambit ni Ethan. May bahid ng inis ang kanyang boses dahilan upang mapangiti lamang ako sa kanya mapait bilang aking tugon, “What the hell are you thinking—”

“I’m leaving.” I mightily pulled my arm, making his eyes widened in surprise.

“You can’t just walk away after what you did!”

“Ethan, Thea knew she was wrong. H’wag na nating palakihin pa lalo ang gulo—”

Ethan gritted his teeth and angrily eyed Van, who tried to defend me, “No! It is a big deal! She just can’t walk away after opening someone’s scar!”

“Do you think I can undo it?” I asked. I languidly looked at him. Aminado akong mali ako, ngunit hindi ko magagawang humarap kay Atty. Salvatore ngayon lalo na’t alam kong galit at nasasaktan siya.

And when Ethan was too dumbfounded to speak nor even move. I laid my eyes on them. Those unsaid words I wished to say didn’t leave me. And so, I left them without saying anything, without apologizing sincerely to Atty. Salvatore, or even Ethan.

Instead of going home, I went to the place I am scared of the most—Mayven General Hospital. The smell of alcohol and antibiotics lingered in my nose as soon I step inside the hospital. And like a scaredy little cat, I marched through familiar hallways towards my own demise.

Saglit akong napatigil sa paglalakad nang mapansin kong may isang espisipikong mga mata ang nakatingin sa akin ngunit sa paglingon ko sa aking likuran, ang mga abalang nurses at interns lamang ang naroon. Walang kahit anong kakaiba.

Bago pa man ako makakatakot sa silid ng taong aking sinadya, kusa nang bumakas ang pinto’t parehas pagkabigla ang rumehistro sa aking mga mata.

“Alithea.”

“Dr. Landicho,” magalang kong sambit. Magsasalita pa sana siya nang may tumigil na nurse sa aming harapan dahilan upang do’n matuon ang atensyon niya.

“Dr. Landicho, you have surgery in 15 minutes.” I heard the nurse said. Dr. Landicho smiled at him and looked at me.

“I’ll be right there. I’ll just need to attend something in a minute.” The nurse eyed me in confusion but left after Dr. Landicho’s remarks. “You’re not supposed to be here, Thea.”

“I—”

“You need to see her?”

“I do…”

“We have an agreement. You can only visit once a month. And you already did weeks ago—”

“I… I just need to talk to her. Please.” A moment of eerie silence suddenly captivated us. I looked at her with my pleading eyes, making her sighed.

Saglit n’yang tiningnan ang paligid, sinusuri kung may mga taong maaaring nakamasid sa amin bago niya palihim na binigay sa akin ang kaniyang I.D. na agad kong niligay sa aking bulsa.

“Thank—”

“Meet me inside my office after my surgery, okay?”

Mabilis akong tumango sa kanya, “Thank you, Dr. Landicho.” Pinauna niya akong umalis sa kanyang harapan bago siya tumungo sa Operating Room.

At kahit na sa tingin ko’y nakuha ko na ang bagay na kailangan ko sa kanya’t magagawa ko na gusto. Hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang kabahan dahil do’n, isang maling galaw ko lang at matatanggal siya sa kanyang trabaho, na kahit ang kanyang asawa ay hindi siya magagawang maipagtanggol.

Tumungo ako sa ika-apat na palapag sa may pinakadulong bahagi nito, kung saan hindi ganoon makikitaan ng mga tao bukod sa iilang doctor at nurses na nag-roround.

Palihim akong kumuha ng isang surgical mask sa isang desk saka isinuot nang mabuti ang aking saklob upang hindi ganoong makita sa CCTV ang aking mukha.

“El…” A long droplet of liquid immediately escapes the corner of my eye as soon as I laid my eyes to the thick, glass window separating me from the person that I’ve come for.

And without any hesitation, I slid Dr. Landicho’s I.D. and entered the room. Everything my eyes laid on feels so surreal. It’s been so long, yet I still couldn’t grasp this fact.

I roamed my sight around. Five inflated pools are surrounding me. They are now slaves of their unconscious mind, and the only keeping them alive is by submerging their bodies in the water.

My lips tremble as my shoulders gave up when I glanced at the person submerge in the inflated pool in the corner of the room.

“El…” Just like the other victims of Oblivion 13. She’s bound to die. Eloisse Salvatore is going to die once she steps out of this water.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” I carefully held my hand and shut my eyes. Her hands feel fragile like a single force could break her bones into pieces, as her skin somehow detaches from the bones. This view, this sensation, is still so implausible.

These five unconscious people with me in this cryptic room have never been feed since the incident. The dextrose injected into their bodies aren’t enough to save them from starvation. They will always lack the nutrients that they need, resulting in them looking awfully fragile.

“I hurt your father,” I mumbled. “But, why I’m not really sorry for him? I don’t really want to apologize to him. I think he deserves it.”

Buong alaga kong hinaplos ang kanyang kamay saka dahan-dahan kong minulat ang aking mga mata. Tinitigan ko lamang si Eloisse, tila kinakabisado kahit saulong-saulo ko na ang mukha ng pinakamatalik kong kaibigan.

“He has never been sorry after sending you to Police Academy, wasn’t he? Or should I thank him because that impulsive action he did was the reason we met?”

After being sent into a law school, kahit kailan ay hindi ako naging masaya. Pakiramdam ko, lahat ng taong nakapaligid sa akin ay kompetisyon lamang ang tingin sa bawat isa. They will ruin an acquaintance or even a friend just to prove there are the best.

That mischief led me to know Eloisse. She hated Police Academy, and I hated Law School. She was a part of me. She was the one who saved me when no one did, not even my family.

And one fucking night changed everything. Eloisse wouldn’t be in this state if I just stop her from going in that campaign. I should’ve warned her about my guts, my doubt about that fucking campaign.

It was me who put Eloisse in this state.

“Pero sa tingin ko… gumagawa ang tatay mo nang paraan para malaman ang taong may gawa nito sa’yo, sa inyo.”

Ang malakas na pagtunog ng isang ECG ang nagpawala ng atensyon ko kay Eloisse. Sa katabing inflated pool iyon nagmumula, aalis na sana ako sa lugar nang makita ko ang paggalaw ng mga daliri ng taong iyon.

“What do I do?! Damn, Alithea, think!” Wala sa sarili akong tumungo sa harap ng lalaki at hinanap ang identification nito—Damien Jimenez. “Can you hear me, Damien?”

Marahan niyang minulat ang kanyang mga mata ngunit dahil sa kalagayan niya’y hirap na hirap siya.

“Don’t move, Damien.”

“I—”

My hands wouldn’t stop from shaking as well as my lips, “Don’t move!”

“A— C— ACK—” My eyes widened when he suddenly started shaking nonstop, making me pinned to where I was standing.

“Alithea! What happened? What are you doing here?”

“I—I don’t know!”

Dr. Enriquez suddenly calmed me down by holding my shoulders. He eyed the patient and drifted back his attention to me.

“Go to my wife’s office now before the other doctors could see you.”

“Anong… anong nangyayari sa kanya?!”

“He’s having a seizure. Now, go!”

Nanginginig akong umalis do’n at mabilis na nagtago sa isang makapal na poste ng pader nang marinig ko ang sunod-sunod na yabag ng mga paa. Marahan kong pinakalma ang aking sarili saka tumingin sa ibaba.

“Dr. Enriquez, his pulse is weak. But we can’t use a defibrillator.”

“We have no choice but to let him die. After all, Jimenez is no longer useful.”

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