Trigger Warning: Mentions of PTSD, self-harm, suicide, depression

Remington was sobbing and gasping on the floor. 

Lifting him up, Andy swayed with him, said quietly, "I'm right here, my love, I'm right here. Shh. It's okay. Let's get you out of this awful suit." 

"Tighter. Need tighter. You can't go. You can't-" 

"I'm not going, baby, I'm right here. We can hug really tight in just a second, but let's get these clothes off first, okay?" 

Remington shook his head manically. "Need tighter now."

"Okay. Okay. Tighter now." Andy held him firmly.  

It was a slow process, but eventually, Andy got Remington out of the suit and into the water, undoing his belt and kicking off his pants as fast as he could to avoid more panic. He put the tray of food onto the bath rack and sat behind Remington, pulled him against his chest. As Remington ate, he took notice of the obvious cuts on both his arms, blinked away tears at the sight, and decided he'd bring it up at a later date, when the younger was less likely to have a full blown emotional breakdown. 

He kept his arms secure around Remington's waist, kissed his shoulder multiple times, and said, "You wanna tell me what he did to you?" 

Remington shook his head and offered him a chip.

After the food was gone, Andy persuaded Remington to let him wash his hair, did it with one hand so the other could remain around him, and helped him out of the tub and into a warm towel. He walked him from the bathroom to the bed, and already, Remington was starting to cry again. 

Under the covers, Remington settled on top of Andy, head on the man's heart, and said again, "Need tighter." 

Andy did as told. "Go to sleep, my darling," he said. "You look wrecked. I'll hold you the whole time, I promise." 

"No." 

"I'll be right here." 

"No." 

"You need to sleep." 

Remington shook his head. "Need tighter." 

"Okay. I'll do tighter. But then you sleep, okay? And I'll be right here the whole time. I promise on everything I have." 

"Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere." 

"What if-what if this is a dream, and-and when I go to sleep, I'm actually-I'm actually waking up, and-and-and you're-you're gone, and-and it's all not real, and then-and then I'm all alone forever again. Too much alone. Need tighter. No more alone. Please. No more alone. No more." 

"This isn't a dream, I promise. I'm right here. I'll be right here when you wake up. No more alone. I promise." 

"Alone makes-makes me hurt. No more alone. Need tighter." 

"You're not alone anymore. I've got you now." 

Remington yawned. "More alone will make me die," he mumbled. "Out of the window." 

"Out of the window?" 

"More alone will make me jump out of the window. No more alone. Please. No more. No more. Too much alone. All the time alone. No one else. Just me. Please, no more. No more." 

"You've had no human contact for the last six months?" 

"Too much alone." 

"Jesus. That's awful. My god. I'm so sorry. That's...fuck." 

Remington yawned again. "No more." 

"No more. I promise. No more alone." 

"Sleep makes me alone." 

Andy blinked tears away. 

Remington moved so more of his skin was touching Andy's. "Alone is like dying but-but dying has an ending. Alone is always the same. No end. Just alone." 

"You're not alone anymore. I promise. On my life." 

"Did you do it again?" 

"What?" 

"Suicide." 

"No. I've been busy looking for you. I thought about it, but didn't want to never see you again." 

"Glad you didn't," Remington mumbled. "Need you for no more alone." 

"I'm glad, too. And I'm so glad to have you back. I've been so worried. God, I'm sorry for arguing with you before they took you. I wish that didn't happen." 

"Me too." 

"Sleep well." 

Remington lifted his head to look at Andy's face before he yawned for the third time. Then, he settled down, murmured, "Need tighter," and let himself sleep. 

He woke hours later needing the bathroom. Andy was asleep with his arms loose around him, and he thought about sliding out and going on his own, but the idea of being out of touching distance made him want to cry, so he gently poked Andy until he woke. "What is it?" Andy asked, blinking his eyes open. 

"Can you come to the bathroom with me?" 

"Sure." 

Remington peed while Andy held his shoulders, and once they returned to the bed, he fell back to sleep almost instantly. The next time he woke, it was late morning, and Andy was awake and holding him tight, the television on quietly. 

"Still not alone, see," Andy said. "How're you feeling? Any better?" 

"Hungry." 

"You want breakfast here or we can find a cafe?" 

"Here. But room service." 

Andy hummed, reached for the phone, ordered two full English breakfasts and a pot of tea. When he put the phone down, Remington was sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "I think we stay here today," he said. "You're exhausted, and I can't imagine travelling for six hours is gonna do you any good. We'll just do cuddling and eating today. Sound good?" 

Remington nodded. After stretching his arms above his head, he moved into Andy's lap, said, "Need tighter," and leant against him with his eyes closed until the food arrived. While Andy collected it, he fought away tears and desperately reached for the man from his position on the bed, heart beginning to race the longer they weren't making contact. 

Putting the tray on the bed, Andy opened his arms, wrapped Remington tightly in them. 

"Still here," Remington whispered to himself. Then, to Andy, "More sleep after. So tired." 

"Of course. Good idea. 

They ate and watched T.V, Remington between Andy's legs, back against his chest. Whenever Andy moved the arm that was around his waist, he turned his head to check he was still there, grabbing his hand after a while and holding it in place. 

For most of the day, he slept on Andy. Twice, he woke with a start, worried it had been a dream, and Andy had to hold him tightly until he calmed down and went back to sleep. They ate room service for both lunch and dinner, Remington devouring the hot meals and vowing never to eat cereal ever again. 

In the early evening, he started crying despite the arms around him and wouldn't stop for more than an hour. "No more alone, no more alone," he kept repeating, telling Andy over and over that he needed tighter even though Andy was already holding him a tight as he could without hurting him. 

"I'm right here," he soothed. "I'm right here. Not going anywhere. No more alone, I promise." 

Remington pressed his face into Andy's neck. 

"Take deep breaths. I'm right here. Can you feel my hand?" 

He nodded. 

"Focus on that, okay? Focus on my hand moving up and down your spine. Feel that? Feels nice, doesn't it?" 

Another nod. 

"You just focus on that feeling. I've got you. No more alone." 

Remington sniffled. "More alone will make me die." 

"I know. But there's no more alone." 

"So tired again." 

"I'm not surprised. You've been to hell twice over. Focus on my hand, let it lull you to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake. I promise." 

"Okay." 

"I love you so much." 

"I love you so much more." 

"Sleep tight." 

"Need tighter." Remington yawned into his neck. He was out cold less than a minute later.