‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Wind gushed overhead as she sat by the sea, at the big, old dock, letting her toes touch the freezing liquid beneath her. Her nerves tingled as the tint of shiver ran up her feet, letting her take deep, heavy breaths and letting her absorb the dreaded moment she had feared for so long, yet, did not leave her alone...failure.

Her beady, brown eyes were now darker than space, yet, they had no stars or galaxies to light them up. The only thing that haunted them were her tears, that were so small yet deeply meaningful. Her lashes were soaked and cheeks stained. All she could see through those eyes was the reflection of a worthless person, a failure. The water she stared at rippled as her thousandth tear found its way to join the sea across those pink shaded cheeks, red bitten lips and creased, tensed chin.

Those tears rippled memories along with the water. Her first ever achievement to her recently discovered failure...all were hidden inside those tears. Her shoulders tensed, her chest heaved with rhythm, her hands trembled and lips quivered, all showed the weakness she felt...all those pent up feelings she had hidden from those she loved.

They loved her, they still do, but, they forget the unnamed burden of expectations that comes with love. She loved them, she still does, but, the only thing she sees in her reflection is failure standing on top of the unseen burden she carries and her persona crushed under the unheard stories.

She felt depressed, jumped into the crystal clear water shining beneath the darkest shade of the sky. She felt her breath slow down, she felt her heart pour out...those tears still kept streaming along her skin, warmth of them consoling her against the cold of the water. She didn't swim, she didn't feel like it. She kept drowning into the deep water, drifting her eyes close, letting her limbs loose...she was accepting defeat. Those monotonous lectures about her drowning life, those depressing words telling her she will fail, those written letters engraved in her room, showing her failure were all remembered by her as she kept sinking into the deep, black water. Her body accepted the chill surrounding her, suddenly, her heart found dying more appealing than facing the humiliation of failure. Her heart cried out telling her to keep drowning, for, slowly she was feeling warmth in the cold water, slowly her consciousness was getting soaked, wet and drenched, slowly she wanted to accept her fate and keep drowning in the haze of regret. She felt good...letting go of her burdens of life and drifting off to sleep forever.

She kept sinking

There was silence

There was water engulfing her

Then, the voice of laughter echoed in her ears, the golden lights of her bedroom surrounded her, her favourite books floated around her, her voice was all she was able to hear. Suddenly, panic filled her...she frantically waved and ruffled the water around her. What was she doing? Why was she loosing herself for a few worthless words spoken by a few worthless people in this world? Why was she drowning herself when she knew how to swim? Why had her heart succeeded in blurring her vision of her brain? She was sensible, she had her loved ones to support her, she had dreams she had to fulfill. She suddenly realised her worth in this life, her goal in this life, to do what is right and to satisfy her desires. Her worth was to bring a change, even though trivial, into this world. Her worth was to inspire the uninspired and work for her self respect and esteem.

She wouldn't let herself fall for the pleasure of dying...no.

She caught the end of that big, old dock, letting her fingers clench the opportunity to survive. She was not going to let others make her feel depressed. No, today was not the day she wanted to drift into the pleasure of freedom from all the burdens. She was going to lift them, carry them and reach her destination... The station of success from the station of failure.