NO ONE'S POV:

(We see Dustin, Steve, Y/N, & Robin in the backroom of Scoops Ahoy after Dustin did some more scouting.)

Dustin: That keycard opens the door, but unfortunately, the Russian with this keycard also has a massive gun. Whatever's in this room, whatever's in those boxes, they really don't want anybody finding it.

Robin: But there's gotta be a way in.

Steve: Well, you know...I could just take him out.

Robin: Take who out?

Steve: The Russian guard.

(Y/N): [scoffs]

Steve: What? I sneak up behind him, I knock him out, and I take his keycard. It's easy.

Dustin: Did you not hear the part about the massive gun?

Steve: Yes, Dustin, I did. And that's why I would be sneaking.

Dustin: Ah. Well, please, tell me this, and be honest, have you ever actually...won a fight?

Steve: Okay, that was one time--

Dustin: (Y/N) had to save you.

(Y/N): I did.

Dustin: And it was twice. Jonathan. Year prior.

Steve: Listen, that doesn't count.

Dustin: Why wouldn't it? Because it looks like he beat the shit out of you.

(Y/N): I just want to point out that would not have happened if I was there.

Steve: Obviously. It was...

Dustin: You got a fat lip, crooked nose, swollen eye, a lot of blood...

(Y/N): Among other things, that's why I'll be the one taking out the guard.

Robin: You too, now?

(Y/N): What? I'm undefeated.

Steve: No you're not.

(Y/N): [sighs] Against people, Steve.

Dustin: And what are you going to do about his massive gun?

(Y/N): Well--

Steve: I don't think you're bulletproof, buddy.

(Y/N): As long as he's not shooting silver bullets, I'll be fine.

Robin: Why would silver bullets matter to you?

(Y/N): No reason...

Dustin: Bullets are bullets.

Steve: Right, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Right!

(She looks up at something.)

Robin: That just might work.

(She takes the paper bills out of the tip jar & starts walking away from Scoops Ahoy.)

Steve: Robin. Hey, Robin! Hey, what--what are you doing?

Robin: I need cash.

Steve: Well, half of that's mine.

(Y/N): You guys get a tip jar?

Steve: Where're you going?

Robin: To find us a way into that room, a safe way. And, in the meantime, sling ice cream, (Y/N), eat a banana, behave, and don't get beat up. I'll be back in a jiff.

(Y/N takes a banana & starts unpeeling it as Dustin licks Steve's scooper.)

Steve: Oh, dude.

(He takes his scooper back.)

Steve: Come on, man, not my scooper.

Sometime Later...

(Robin returns.)

Robin: It is fascinating what 20 bucks will get you at the County Recorder's Office.

(She lays out the blueprints of...)

Robin: Starcourt Mall. The complete blueprints.

Dustin: Not bad.

(Y/N): Nice.

Robin: So, this is us, Scoops, and this is where we want to get.

Steve: I mean, I don't really see a way in.

Robin: There's not, if you're talking exclusively about doors.

Dustin: Air ducts.

Robin: Exactly.

(She gets a marker.)

Robin: Turns out, this secret room needs air just like any old room. And these air ducts lead all the way...here.

(She marks a path leading to Scoops Ahoy. Steve unscrews the vent cover & looks down it with a flashlight.)

Steve: Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know if you can fit in here. It's, like...super tight.

Dustin: I'll fit.

(Y/N): That's the spirit.

Dustin: Trust me. No collar bones, remember?

Robin: Uh, excuse me?

Steve: Oh, he's uh...Yeah, he's got some disease. Chry, uh...It's chrydo, um...Something. Yeah, I dunno. You know what's it called, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): All I know is that it's unpronounceable.

Steve: He's missing bones and stuff. He can bend like Gumbo.

Robin & (Y/N): You mean Gumby.

(They look at each other.)

Steve: Adorable. Teaming up like that. But I'm pretty sure it's Gumbo.

(Dustin's now halfway in the vent.)

Dustin: Steve, just shut up and push me!

Steve: Okay. I'll push ya.

Dustin: Not my feet, dumbass. Push my ass.

Steve: What?

Dustin: Touch my butt! I don't care! Come on! Harder! Push harder!

Steve: I'm pushing!

Dustin: You're playing with my legs.

Steve: I'm not playing, I have terrible footing.

Dustin: Come on!

Steve: I'm just gonna shove you, ready?

Dustin: Just shove me?

Steve: One, two...

(He shoves Dustin.)

Dustin: Shit.

Steve: That work?

Dustin: One more time. This time with (Y/N) pushing my ass. He's stronger than all of us.

(Y/N): [sighs] Get down from the ladder, Steve.

(As Y/N makes his way up the ladder to Dustin, Robin looks back at Erica who's running the bell. Cut to Erica looking down the vent with a flashlight then climbs down the ladder.)

Erica: Yeah, I don't know.

Dustin: You don't know if you can fit?

Erica: Oh, I can fit. I just don't know if I want to.

Robin: Are you claustrophobic?

Erica: [snickers] I don't have phobias.

Steve: Okay, well, what's the problem?

Erica: The problem is, I still haven't heard what's in this for Erica.

(Y/N): [groans heavily]

(Imagine Y/N between Dustin & Steve.)

(She pushes the ice cream back.)

Erica: More fudge, please. Go on.

(Steve begrudgingly takes the sundae to put more fudge, Y/N sits in his place.)

Robin: All right.

(She shows Erica the blueprints with the path.)

Robin: You see this? This is the route you're gonna take. Then we just wait till the last delivery goes out tonight. Then you knock out the grate, jump down, open the door.

Erica: Then you find out what's in those boxes?

Robin: Exactly.

Erica: Mm-hmm. And you say this guard is armed.

Dustin: Yes, but he won't be there.

Erica: And booby traps?

Robin: Booby traps?

Erica: Lasers, spikes in the wall?

Robin: What?

(Y/N): Someone watches too many movies.

Erica: I'll get to you in a second. You know what this half-baked plan of yours sounds like to me? Child endangerment.

Robin: We'll be radio contact with you the whole time--

Erica: Ah, ah, ah! Child endangerment.

Dustin: Erica? Hi. Uh...We think these Russians want to do harm to our country. Great harm. Don't you love your country?

Erica: You can't spell "America" without "Erica." [slurping loudly]

Dustin: Uh, yeah, yeah. Oddly, that's, uh, totally true. So, so, don't do this for us. Do it for your country. Do it for your fellow man.

Erica: [slurping continues]

Dustin: Do this for America...Erica.

Erica: Ooh. I just got the chills. Oh, yeah, from this float, not your speech. Know what I love most about this country? Capitalism. Do you know what capitalism is?

Dustin: Yeah.

Robin: Yeah.

(Y/N): Yes.

Erica: It means this is a free market system. Which means people get paid for their services, depending on how valuable their contributions are. And it seems to me, my ability to fit into that little vent is very, very valuable to you all. So, you want my help? This USS Butterscotch better be the first of many. And I'm talking free ice cream and free movies for life.

(Y/N): I'm assuming that includes free concessions as well?

Erica: What do you think?

(Y/N): Yes. Yes, it does.

(Cut to the plan in motion. Erica's about to climb into the vent as the quartet is on an opposing roof.)

Robin: Erica, do you copy?

Erica: Mm-hmm. I copy. You nerds in position or what?

Robin: Yeah, we're in position. It's all quiet here, so you've got the green light.

Erica: Green light, roger that. Commence Operation Child Endangerment.

Robin: Can we maybe not call it that?

Erica: See you on the other side. Nerds.

(Cut to Erica opening the room after being able to crawl to it.)

Erica: Free ice cream and movies for life.

(Cut to them in the room & looking down at a box Steve's twisting open.)

(Imagine Y/N in the empty space.)

(They look down at four vials.)

Steve: That's definitely not Chinese food.

(He's about to pull one of them out.)

Steve: Uh, maybe you guys should, you know, stand back.

(Y/N): I'm sure I'll be fine.

Steve: I was talking to them.

(Robin & Erica stand back.)

Dustin: No.

Steve: Just...Just step back, okay?

Dustin: No.

Steve: Step back, Seriously.

(Y/N): This is for your own good.

Dustin: No! No! If you two die, I die.

(Y/N): Loyalty. Love to see it.

Steve: Okay.

(He pulls out the vial that has some green liquid inside of it.)

Steve: What the hell?

Robin: What is that?

*RUMBLING*

Dustin: Was that just me, or did the room move?

Erica: [whispering] Booby traps.

(Y/N): Late reacting booby traps.

*MECHANICAL WHIRRING*

Robin: You know what?

(She grabs the vial.)

Robin: Let's just grab that and go.

(Dustin presses the "door open" button but nothing happens.)

Dustin: Which one do I press, Erica?

Erica: Just press the damn button, nerd.

Dustin: Which one? I'm pressing the button, okay?

Erica: Press "open door."

Dustin: I'm pressing "open door."

Steve: Just open the--Press the other button.

(Y/N): How many buttons are you pushing?

(Steve & Y/N start pressing buttons along with Dustin.)

Robin: Guys, get out of the way so she can push the button--

Steve: Would you stop?

Dustin: I'm trying.

(Y/N): *holds down on the "open door" button*

Steve: Would you let me just do it? What's holding the button down going to do?

(Y/N): Well, have either of you tried that yet?

Robin: Just open the door!

*CLANG*

(A mechanical door slams shut in front of them. The room starts going down.)

Robin: [screams]

(Steve sees the room is going down.)

Steve: Oh, shit.