Chapter 10 ~ (Leaving) The Past




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(Y/n) (L/n)'s Perspective
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It was about 5 when I had awoken. I found myself in Offender's arms and though that was not ideal, it was pretty comfortable. I gathered myself together and talked to Sally for a few minutes before deciding to hit the road. I couldn't stay here forever.

"Will you come back?" She asked, to that I could only shrug.

"Maybe, but really only if you stop visiting." Sally giggled.

"Fair enough~ I'll tell them you said bye!"

"Thanks Sal~ I'll see you some other time. Make sure you tell them I said thank you as well!" She nodded and I left. The walk through the woods was rather comforting, but quick to end.

I managed to find my way back home, since I had found a trail that lead to a park I was familiar with. I was soon able to walk back home, where I found my cat had given birth to some adorable baby kittens.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~

Bed time felt... painful. I showered and put stuff on my injuries, but the pain of the new marks was just tormenting me. I could only trace them and wince. I just need to go to bed, 'I just need to go to bed'.

I leave to my bed, throwing on a big shirt, not caring about undergarments. I just wanted the pain to go away. I feel my eyes start to burn as my tears built up. I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest, not noticing my blanket wasn't on me.

I just kept remembering. The pain and the regret. It was all playing in my head like video clips put together with harsh changes from video to video.

My first of the trio, David. I never had a pure view on relationships. My father was abusive toward my mother for a while, when he was a drug addict. I was always told when a guy hits you he likes you. So I thought it was love the first time he laid his hands on me.

When we first got together, a friend of my dad's introduced him to me. He was always a little rude, and maybe that's why I fell for him. I always liked his tough attitude. Anyway, when we first got together, he took me to the bar. At the time I was only 20 so he gave me a fake id, me being young and stupid, played along. I wish I hadn't.

I'd never drank any alcohol before and since I was a little tinier at the time, I didn't handle it that well. It got to my head and made me feel sick. He told me it was a good thing. Since he was older than me and was more experienced I believed him, even though I knew of the dangers.

He took me home and beat me. He also went through my stuff and took things of value. When I asked him to put it back, he said I needed to learn to share. The next day while looking online, I found out he was selling my stuff. When I talked to him about it, he punched me hard in the stomach and told me, it was just to pay for my hospital visit.

He beat me, but he didn't pay a cent, even after my insurance only covered 3/4s of the cost. With a bruised eye and a broken rib, I still told him "I love you" and he returned it. The longer it lasted the more it became poison that burned my tongue and melted my voice away from my throat.

Months went by and he was still very physical. I turned to drinking to numb the pain and it became a habit, even when he wasn't around. It was my new addiction and my friends tried to help me.

One night, I talked back and scolded him when I found out he cheated on me. He didn't like that and struck me with a knife. He cut so deep, my bones showed when he tried to tear my flesh from my inner structure.

When I covered my injury and stopped the bleeding, it started coming out of my mouth as I vomited. I was drinking that night and crying. That night I had learned it was abuse and he didn't love me. I especially knew after he stabbed me.

He started to coo for me. Purring my name, his voice made me tremble. I didn't want to comply, but maybe if I did he'd stop like he usually did. I gulped hard, and went out to him. He just grabbed me and started to choke me.

I saw Annette before I blacked out. The next day I woke up in the hospital with her beside me. Crying and apologizing for not getting there in time. When I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Not even a tear could fall as I looked at my new reflection. I was broken and worn out.

But that was it... it was all done now... so I thought.

My drinking problem continued, I'd get violent when I was drunk and have done a lot of things I now very much regret.

When I was ready to get back into dating, I went on line to try and get a taste of some of my options. I went on a couple of dates that didn't work out. But then I met Carter. The second of the trio. He was pretty decent, giving the bad boy act, going chest to chest with other big men, always ready to get in a fight, always wanting to get in a fight, but gentle and caring to me.

I didn't notice the manipulation. As they say, I was so caught up admiring the house he built for me I didn't notice the locked door. He started with the small things, being passive aggressive when I wasn't able to hang out, and threatening to stop talking when I told him I didn't like a joke he made. He convinced me he was offended and a victim.

Then he started threatening things like suicide. I still had a drinking problem and he tried to take advantage of me. Trying to get me in bed, but I was too aggressive for him to control.

The first time he hit me was when I ended it. It took him a while to leave, but he did. I was so proud and ashamed of myself, I cut off everyone. Not talking, avoiding work, etc. I drank a lot in this period and gained a new problem, smoking. I lost addiction to that pretty quickly though, as I never liked the smell or taste.

But alcohol was always on my tongue. I drank till I was sick and passed out everyday. When I realized how a mess I was, I went to seek help. I got a therapist and an addiction coach, I guess you could call it. My doctor told me to stop drinking as a part of the help to lose the addiction.

I lost my addiction, but I still drink from time to time, as I didn't realize I was doing now.

And the final pea in the pod of three, was Jason. Oh Jason was oh so nice. I knew him in the time I was with David because we worked together. I talked to him about some things, but nothing serious, just small dumb stuff.

I didn't feel anything toward him, he was definitely visually appealing but I learned to tear away from being picky on how someone looks. I dated time to time, but no one ever stuck. Then I tried him out... it didn't work out and he tried to get down and dirty.

I shudder in disgust. 'Why me?'

"You shouldn't drink so much..." I hear my mother's gentle voice.

"I'm sorry mom... I'm just... so... so... so tired..." I broke down into tears and felt her place a hand on my shoulder.

"My sweet, please, let out the tears you've been holding in, it's ok to weep. You have a shattered heart. You need to stick it back together, but maybe now it's best to be your own glue. You need to stop relying on others. I'd love to be with you, but you know I'm busy." I sniffle and lean toward her ghostly warmth.

"I wish you were here..." I whisper. She just kissed my head and whispered an 'I know', then faded away.

I snapped out of my thoughts. I had poured part of my drink all over myself, thank goodness my couch wasn't fabric. I ignored it and just drank. I want the world to go away.

A tear slipped from my eye.

I want to disappear for a little while.

I suck in a sharp breath.

I want the word to be on my side, not against me.

I brush my hair back and cry.

A dream, I want a happy dream... where I'm happy.

I'm tired of this nightmare.

I just want to go to sleep...

Just for a little while.

I slipped into unconscious as I spot a tall figure in the corner.

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