"Fookin' 'ell slow down, you'll get heartburn eating that quick," Briggs exclaimed as he watched Wilson down his sausages.

"I love a bit of sausage," Heaven interjected, earning a laugh from the unit, especially Pheasant.

Pheasant was snorting with laughter as he uttered a simple, "me too."

"Gay," Cermac blurted out to a louder peel of laughter from the unit as they scoffed down their food before their first patrol.

"And proud," Pheasant beamed.

Heaven turned her attention back to Corporal Jade Pierce, an artillery observer on her third tour of Urzikstan. Pierce picked up her mug of coffee, taking a sip as the steam swelled around her eyes, coloured a captivatingly warm shade of hazel with flecks of green.

Judging from the heavy bags under Pierce's eyes, as well as the abundance chestnut flyaways that had blossomed from the curly hair that she'd tied up in a bun that had grown loose and messy, the night recce (reconnaissance) mission had been a long one.

"It helping at all?" Heaven ales, gesturing to the coffee.

Pierce only grumbled, eyelids fluttering, "a bit."

"Was the mission a success?" Heaven questioned, knowing there was limits to what Pierce could say.

"Yeah," Pierce answered bluntly as she forced a smile, "yeah, total success," she answered before she was abruptly cut off.

Meanwhile Pheasant has noticed Roach was acting weird. He was quieter than usual, rarely making eye contact and making zero conversations and communicating only in quick noises.

"We had a good time dancing last night didn't we?" Pheasant chuckled, when he got no response he nudged Roach, "hey-".

"Fuck off," Roach exploded without warning, his face flushed red with rage as he screamed at his scrawny teammate, he got to his feet and stormed off in a matter of seconds, fuelled by confusion and distress.

He felt his head spinning, the walls he'd built were crumbling, it seemed as if everything he knew was a lie. He couldn't fancy a man, he was never a red blooded bloke but surely he wasn't gay? He'd never been attracted to a man.

Until Pheasant.

But did he really fancy him? And why him? Why now?

Interrupting his internal monologue of confusion Captain Riley caught his ear "Heaven, everyone, patrol in fifteen minutes, get the fuck ready," the Captain belted out, Roach went to his quarters and teased himself, splashing water on his face as he stared down his reflection.

He took a long, hard look to himself. His eyes, as soft as pillow at the end of the day yet they had a rough edge like a rusted blade, were burnt umber brown-full of depth and richness. His jaw was chiselled, with high cheekbones, with thick eyebrows.

He looked straight. So he simply had to be straight didn't he? Perhaps he just had too much to drink last night and that's why he grinded on Pheasant. He felt physically sick at the idea of it, so he made a choice-he had to stay away from Pheasant.

As water dripped from his face a knock on his door, "who is it?" he asked in a gruff tone.

"It's me," Pheasant said. That damn posh inflection.

"Go away."

"Why are you acting so off today?".

"None of your fucking business."

The seething rage that was barely controlled by gritting teeth shocked Pheasant, this was not the Roach he knew. Roach was reserved and submissive, not whoever this person was.

"Roach c'mon-".

"Fuck off."

"Fine. I know when I'm not wanted," Pheasant sneered, spitting out his words like a snake spits venom, before turning on his heel and walking back to where the team were gathered for their first patrol of the day.

"How's Roach? Is he almost ready?" Captain Riley asked as Pheasant approached him.

"No clue, he's not speaking to me," Pheasant shrugged, immediately a look as frightening as the crack of nearby thunder possessed Riley's face, before he went storming to Roach's quarters, his fists smashed against the wooden frame as he knocked violently.

"Roach, get your arse out there right fucking now!" Riley screamed, spittle flying from his lips.

Wordlessly Roach stepped outside in full kit, ready for the patrol, allowing the Captain to lead Roach to his place in the patrol just behind Pheasant.

Pheasant looked over his shoulder to his best friend as the base door opened, the scrawny man offered Roach a smile, who in return didn't even look at him.

Pheasant kicked some sand to let out frustration before he followed behind Briggs, throwing the mongrel the obligatory piece of food, this time he was lucky enough to have a whole sausage. Pheasant smiled as he watched the animal devour it, tag wagging as he held it steady with his paws.

Then Pheasant's attention returned to what was in front of him, after a few minutes of walking they reached the village, where he heard what sounded like stampeding footsteps and immediately swung his gun in the direction of the sound, from one of the houses.

Pheasant's gun trained on the entrance, finger slowly curled around the trigger, any more pressure and it would fire.

Then he was greeted by the young girl with the bandaged arm, who ran out to hug Heaven who simply hugged her back in an embrace as warm as the sun that thaws the snow, an embrace as beautiful as the first flowers to bloom after a brutal winter. 

Pheasant relaxed his aim, allowing his gun to rest in front of his chest and pointed down at the ground once again before the patrol moved on, the little girl waving them off, Heaven happily returned the wave.

"Eyes on, it's too quiet," Riley said the second something under his foot clicked.

Immediately he froze, realising what it was.

"Dear God," Riley uttered under his breath, he squeezed his eyes shut and pictured his loved ones for one last time, "everybody get back. I've stepped on an IED, any pressure change and it'll blow."

"Get back," Smith commanded, the older marines quickly sought cover whilst the fresh recruits were stumbling and tripping over their own feet, the experienced marines screaming at them to find cover.

It all felt so surreal. Nothing felt real, everything seemed to go by in a blur for the new recruits. They'd just been laughing over breakfast with Captain Riley-the man that until this moment seemed unbreakable, invincible.

Now he was as fragile as China ceramics.

"This is Alpha Two Zero, contact IED, Captain Riley has stepped on a pressure plate in the north side of the village, request EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) assistance," Smith barked over the comms.

"Dispatching EOD team, ETA ten minutes."

Sweat dripped from Captain Riley's forehead and down his face, he dare not even blink it from his eyes incase the movement detonated the device.

"Just stay still boss," Smith said.

"Oh really? I was gonna play dance dance revolution on this IED," Riley shouted, a lump hardening in his throat as he desperately begged God for forgiveness.

Pheasant couldn't help but giggle at the Captain's sarcastic remake, before received a slap upside the head by Harrow that knocked his helmet off kilter, "laugh again and I'll fuck you up. That's your Captain, show some damn respect," the Lance Corporal hissed, his breath hot on Pheasant's ear and on his neck.

They waited for what felt like an intensity, heat and tension thick in the arid air, before a battle bus rolled up and stopped a few metres shy of the IED, Pheasant couldn't help but note it parked in such a way that it would've shielded them all in the event the IED detonated. A decision he noticed was most likely deliberate and reminded him of the saying common in the military: 'train for the worst, hope for the best.'

A towering man jumped out from the vehicle, his face was chiselled with light stubble and his sandy blond hair, just a shade lighter than Roach's, was starting to recede. His eyes were an icy shade of steel blue, and perfectly calm as behind him his team piled out: one soldier who wore a stern and deadly serious gaze, another soldier with a beard and booming Leed's accent, two bickering Scotsman, one short woman with chestnut coloured hair and green eyes.

The tall man looked to Riley, "I'm Captain Nick Medhurst and I'm going to disable that IED," he spoke confidently as the man took strides towards the bomb.

"Boss on the move," the stern faced soldier barked, lifting up his rifle and sweeping it in an arc to scan for enemies.

"How you holding up?" Captain Medhurst asked Captain Riley as they stood face to face.

"Just peachy," Riley smiled, flashing teeth yellowed by the countless mugs of coffee he drunk to keep his mind sharp for patrols, Medhurst rolled his eyes.

"Well, just for that, I'm gonna try my best to not turn us both into a fine pink mist (cloud of blood after an explosion or gunshot)," Medhurst joked with dry wit, he laid down flat against the rocks that dug uncomfortably into his uniform, as he took out his brush to expose the IED for a better look.

All the teams could do was wait, the infantry men attached to the EOD continued to watch the environment, soon a small crowd have gathered-Pheasant assumed it was morbid curiosity.

All the while Medhurst worked on disarming the bomb, his focus razor sharp as he blinked sweat and dust swept up by the rough breeze from his eyes.

"It's defused," Medhurst said as he got to his feet, patting Riley on the back, the latter of whom breathe a heavy sigh of relief that instantly made every muscle relaxed.

"Thank fuck for that eh," Riley chuckled as the two Captains walked back to their units, Medhurst carrying the bomb in a clear evidence bag for intel (intelligence) to assess it.

"All in a days work," Medhurst smiled, giving him a final pat before his team loading up in the vehicle that then drove away.

They pushed on with their mission to patrol the village, there were no more encounters and soon enough they were back in base, pouring sand from their boots, wiping the sweat from their brows and futilely spraying on deodorant.

As Pheasnt dressed down into just his olive green shirt and combat trousers he heard a knock on his door, he opened it to reveal a familiar pair of rich, dark and deep eyes that were usually crinkled at the sides with amused. Except this time they were cold and very, very pissed off.

"Roach, you alright mate?" Pheasant asked.

"I'm not your fucking mate," Roach hissed as he shove himself inside of Pheasant's quarters. The cruelty that rang in his words were as piercing as shrapnel, and to Pheasant's heart they were just as deadly.

"It's your blood fault Riley stepped on that IED and almost got us all KIA'd (killed in action)-you're too fucking busy ogling men in uniform, you think it's all just a fun game, playing soldier, when lives are at stake," Roach snapped, his knuckles whitening as his hands balled into fists that shook with adrenaline.

"Probably only got in to shut up the PC crowd," Roach spat out the words like he was disgusted to even say them, his lips contorting around the words like a rabid dog's lips would twist into a flaming, ruthless and bloodthirsty snarl.

"That's out of order Roach," Heaven exclaimed as she came to investigate the noise she heard from Pheasant's quarters, "Pheasant might not want to stand up for himself but I will. Did I only get in to appease the PC crowd to?", Heaven demanded.

"Fuck off," Roach hissed heavily under his breath, not even looking at her as his eyes locked on Pheasant.

"You don't get to talk to a superior that way," Heaven exclaimed in shocked disgust that burnt righteously in her brown eyes, the colour of pools of melted honey as the sun shone in them.

"Heaven...," Pheasnt whispered, the name whisked away by the breeze like the seeds of a dandelion, "just go," he continued in a small, defeated whisper.

"Okay. But just know I can and will report you for this if I deem to necessary," Heaven threatened, Roach didn't move, blinding by white hot rage.

"You're a fucking joke, prancing about like the fag you are while the real men are out here fighting to survive," Roach continued as he looked Pheasant up and down in disgust, spitting on his floor.

Pheasant chewed nervously on his lip as he rushed to the satellite phone, dialling the one person who he felt wouldn't let him down in his hour of need.

"Hey mum it's me."

"Hey there my boy, how are you?".

"Well, um, not so great. Roach has been acting weird ever since we danced together last night, then just now he gave me a dressing down about not being a real soldier."

"Maybe you shouldn't of danced with him," his mum remarked rather coldly.

"It was platonic, I meant nothing by it," Pheasant stressed.

"Doesn't sound that way," she said, a tone of weariness edging into her voice.

Realising she was never going to see things his way he felt the sudden urge to confess his darkest secret to her, "mum, are you listening?".

"Yeah."

"Just before I was deployed I was...," the man struggled to get the words out, as if speaking its wretched name would make it real all over again, "I was raped."

"But...you're gay," his mother said simply, "gays are always desperate for their next bit of fun, are you sure it really rape and not just some guys having some fun?" she questioned in disbelief.

"The held me down and tore off my clothes while I was too intoxicated to fight back in the alleyway of outside the club, the fuck kind of fun is that?" Pheasant burst out in frustration, growing flustered.

"Calm down," his mother said in the same weariness as before,  "I just think it's a misunderstanding."

"It wasn't," Pheasant choked out.

"When you go to the club there are certain rules-".

"You're my mum," he pleaded, his voice weakening and cracking with emotion as he continued, "you're supposed to make it all better, to protect and believe me."

"You're an adult now, you don't need any of that old rubbish. Take some responsibility, I just know in my heart you didn't really get raped."

"I fucking did! I was there and Roach stopped them! Fuck you for not believing in me! Fuck you for believing a rapist over your own son!' Pheasant screened as rage boiled in the back of his throat, tears of frustration welled in his baby blue eyes.

"I'm not going to be talked to like that," his mum stated before hanging up, Pheasant flung the phone across the room where it smashed against a wall before sliding to the ground.

The soldier turned round to his Cermac stood before him, his freckled skin peeling from sunburn and his ginger hair was windswept.

"You...you were raped?" was the only thing the Manchurian could think to ask.

"Yeah," Pheasant said, unable to even make eye contact as he stared down his dusty combat boots that were crying out for a polishing, "yeah I was."

"C'here mate," he said as he held his arms wide open, Pheasant accepted his hug.

"It's okay," Cermac sooth, giving Pheasant a final squeeze before letting go.

"No it's not."

"It will be."

"Things will never be okay again."

"Cermac I honestly would rather get raped again if it meant my mum would believe me the second time. It hurts more for my own mum to reject me than to be raped," Pheasant said as he began to sob, wetting Cermac's green shirt with his tears he'd held back for too long  

"I know it hurts now but pain gets better. All wound opens turn to scars," Cermac told hi. 

"I hope so," Pheasant said, "I just don't want to feel this pain anymore."

"I know so. For now just try to distract yourself if it gives you any mither (bother)."

"Don't tell the rest of the team."

"I won't."