CHAPTER NINE
cursed.

               LENNON.

               I didn't quite know what my sister would have thought to herself when she had stumbled upon me sitting with Rebecca's dead body. Honestly, I didn't even know what I was thinking. But there was something oddly comforting about it. Rebecca was gone now—hopefully to some place better. And despite the idea of rescue coming, what had happened to us was still the worst thing we could ever imagine and we had to live with it. Rebecca didn't. And somehow, that had made me feel a little more at ease.

             But after June had come to find me, I managed to pull my anxiety together long enough to leave the plane and join the search for suitcases and any other supplies that may have fallen during the crash.

              Together, we had managed to find numerous suitcases and extra bags we had brought with us. I had managed to find my own that had been strewn a few hundreds feet from the crash site. It had ripped open in the fall and my belongings were spread throughout the ground. I had collected them, stuffing them back inside before dragging it back to the site, putting it by the logs we had chosen as the base-camp.

              Time had passed and we were all together, rummaging through our things. Some of us were more private about it whilst others didn't care who saw what they brought. I myself had my back turned to the rest of the group as I searched for the pink toiletry bag I had brought with me with, filled with what I thought I would need: suncream, travel-size shampoo and conditioner, soap, toothpaste, my toothbrush and my medication. I fit in with those who were being more private about my belongings. I didn't want anyone noticing as I pulled out my medication and popped out one of the pills, swallowing it whole.

              I jumped when a hand landed on my shoulder and I quickly shoved the tabs of my medication back into the bag. I turned my head, seeing Hattie standing behind me with a small apologetic smile, "Hey, do you mind if I have a look at you? You got banged up pretty bad and never came to see me." She said, screwing up her face and I knew she didn't want to inconvenience me when I was going through my things. But she was right, I needed to be looked over and I knew that.

                I laughed slightly at my own expense, "Yeah, sorry, I've just been so caught up in all this shit I forgot to come see you," I apologised. I gestured to where Hattie had been sitting beforehand, helping people with their injuries. "Ready when you are."

              Hattie gave me another smile as I got to my feet, following after her. I sat down on the log, resting my elbows against my knees as Hattie crouched down in front of me, "How are you feeling? Dizzy at all? Like you want to sleep?" She asked me, sitting up a little straighter to examine the cut on my forehead.

               "Nope," I lied. "At first I did, but I feel a lot better now." I added to reassure her. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone and I truly was fine, except for the slight dizziness and dull ache in my head. But it was bearable. And besides, we had bigger things to worry about than my bump to the head.

               "And your hand? I noticed it bleeding earlier." She prompted and I held my hand out, allowing her to examine the gash across my palm. The blood around it had turned to crust, but it still looked pretty gnarly and something stitches would usually require. But we didn't have that privellege.

               Hattie twisted her lip, screwing up her face as she touched the skin, "Usually I'd say you need stitches for this—at least a few, but, you know... we don't really have the tools for that," She told me, tilting her head as she gave me a sympathetic smile. "All I can do is try to clean it a little and then wrap it to keep it clean from infection, but we'll have to keep doing it regularly. And it's going to sting like a bitch." She said and I nodded my head, understanding.

            The adrenaline of the day had kept me going and I hadn't felt it too much so I could deal with it in the meantime. Hopefully rescue would find us before it had the chance of infection.

              "Okay, let's do it." I agreed, offering her the best smile I could muster up but I was sure it came out as more of a wince.

              Hattie grasped one of the small bottles of alcohol that had less than half, unscrewing it. I grasped it from her hands first, taking a swig before handing it back to her and tipping my head back, "Alright, do it quick." I urged, looking up to the sky so that I couldn't pull my hand away on instinct before she could pour the alcohol onto my wound.

               A few seconds passed before the searing hot pain of alcohol washing over my hand rushed over me. It made a yelp escape my lips and my legs jitter but I tried not to react too much to not make it difficult for Hattie as she began dabbing at the wet wound, cleaning up the blood. I exhaled air through my lips, puffing my cheeks as my skin turned hot. The alcohol stung the wound and made me want to scratch it until it bled further but I couldn't. I just allowed Hattie to clean it the best she could whilst my body shook from the pain.

                I glanced down, seeing the dark blood turning a more pinkish colour as it dripped onto the dirt beneath us, sinking into the ground. Hattie was wiping at the skin around the wound, clearing it of the blood with a torn up shirt I was sure belonged to Abby—it looked like her goalie shirt, being a neon green.

               I glanced up from looking at my blood when a group of birds suddenly flew from the trees above us, leaving the area in a mass group. I squinted my eyes, watching as they flapped their wing wildly and cawed into the sky as they hurried to get away, as if something had disturbed them. But the forest had been ghostly quiet.

             Once Hattie was finished, she tied some clean neon fabric around my hand, tying it tightly and a nervous laugh escaped my lips, "That really fucking sucked." I grumbled, bringing my hand to my chest and clutching to it.

             Hattie offered me a smile, "We'll have to revisit it in the morning but that should do for now, okay?" I nodded my head as Hattie got to her feet, walking over to Ivy who was in the middle of a conversation with Kitty.

              I glanced over at them, momentarily catching Ivy's gaze before looking away. I turned back to my suitcase, checking to see if I had packed anything remotely useful. But all I had was clothes, makeup and random shit I thought I would need. Nothing that would actually help us in any way possible. The only thing I could see worth anything, was my Polaroid camera—which could help us with taking photos to remember certain places if we ventured outside of our crash site. But it felt ridiculous to bring out something I had taken so many fond memories on, like this was some kind of vacation.

               "I said, leave me the fuck alone, Evelyn!" Coach Stratford was suddenly exclaiming, catching everyone's attention. I turned my head, glancing in their direction. Somehow, I had forgotten he was even there, mostly because he had been quietly drowning his sorrows in his flask. And now, he was quite obviously drunk.

               "Hey, don't fucking talk to her like that, Coach! She's only trying to help!" Kitty yelled, immediately backing her sister up, grabbing her out of the way of their Coach who had flew to his feet, his face inches from the younger girls, as if he was going to raise his hands to her.

               "I don't need any of your help! I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you fucking brats!" He yelled, slurring his words and gesturing around to his team who stared back at him in disbelief. He laughed to himself, shaking his head. "This is all because of you little bitches—"

              "Hey!" Ivy was suddenly yelling, rolling her shoulders back as she marched by me and towards them. She stopped in front of him, the toes of her shoes almost touching his. "What a fucking shame your team was actually half decent enough to go to Nationals, huh? It's not our fault you're a dead-beat who only peaked in high school to then go on to coach an all girls soccer team, alright? You didn't like it? You didn't like us? No one was forcing you to fucking coach us!"

                "Now, put on your big-girl panties and get a fucking grip, dude." Everyone stood in silence, watching as Coach Stratford's face reddened with rage, glaring down at Ivy's tiny stance. Even I was taken aback at how she had stood up to him—how she had stood up for her team. We had been lucky, Coach Grayson adored each of us. But it looked like Coach Stratford didn't feel the same way about his team. Or perhaps it was just the pressure of everything that was happening on top of the alcohol. Coach Stratford had always seemed decent enough; albeit, very competitive.

               Coach Stratford took a step back, waving his hand and stumbling slightly, "You know what, at least when we're back and everyone wants to interview us about this, I'll actually earn some fucking money from y'all. It's the least you could do." He spat, his face screwed up venomously.

              "Fuck you, man." Ivy hissed, turning her back on him as he sat down on his log, raising his flask to his lips.

             As Ivy passed me, my eyes caught hers, "Hey, are you—"

              "Don't pretend to give a shit, Lennon. You don't have to pretend to be any more fake than you already are." She snapped, sending me a swift glare and I stood back, allowing her to march by me, Kitty in tow.

              June suddenly joined my side, "Wow, what a dick, right?" She drew out, glancing back at him.

             I snuck my own glance and nodded my head, "We got real lucky with Coach Grayson," I said, feeling a weight on my shoulders when I mentioned her name. It made me look across to where Ethan was. He had stood from his spot during the commotion and was still standing there, but he wasn't doing anything. I put my hand on June's shoulder, "Give me a minute." I said, brushing by her, heading towards Ethan who spotted me coming and diverted his gaze, trying to avoid me.

              "I'm not gonna ask if you're okay because I know you're not."  I immediately told him. It was a stupid thing to say, really, to someone who had just lost a person they really cared about, because of course they weren't okay. So I wouldn't dare ask him, not when I hadn't been anywhere close to okay when my mom died—and I still wasn't.

               Ethan glanced up at me, his eyes tearful, "It just doesn't feel real, you know? Like—like she was just here a few hours ago. She was talking to me, she was alive—she was my mom and she was here. And now she isn't. And it doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel right." He told me, speaking in a low voice and I nodded along with him.

              "Ethan, what just happened to all of us was awful, but I can't imagine what you're feeling, losing your mom like that. It must be... well, I don't know how it must feel," I spoke softly to him, looking into his big-brown eyes. I reached out, putting my hand on his arm. "But I'm here for you, alright? Even if you don't want to talk. If you want to just sit in silence—I'll be here for you." I assured him, trying my best to give him an encouraging smile.

              "You think they're gonna come for us?" Ethan didn't have to specify who, I knew exactly what he meant. Rescue. He wanted to know if I thought we'd be saved or not.

               I thought about it, diverting my gaze to my feet, chewing on the inside of my mouth before looking back up at him, "I hope so. I really do. But if they don't, we're gonna have to find a way to survive this shit—for those who didn't. We have to." I said in almost a whisper, catching his eyes.

                "If they don't come and it all goes to shit... I'm really glad everyone has you, Lennon. They're gonna need you—we're all gonna need you." He insisted, taking a moment to look out at our band of survivors. His words felt like some kind of weight being thrust upon my shoulders, like a Queen at her coronation, or the day I was made Captain of the Pirates.

              I gave him a closed smile, "I hope it won't come to that."

               Hours has passed and we had gathered together with the exception of Coach Stratford who chose to keep his distance from us. We were huddled around the campfire Ivy had managed to get going with the help of June's lighter. I had felt immense relief when Ivy had announced she had been apart of the Cadets and knew how to buld a fire—because otherwise, when the temperature began to dip, we would have been freezing our asses off, no matter how tropical the weather seemed to be.

                I was sitting with my knees brought to my chest, wearing my Pirates hoodie I had fished from my suitcase when it began to get cold out. June was sitting beside me, her legs brought to her chest the same way I had, though she had her face tucked into her knees and her leather jacket over her shoulders.

               We had been sitting in a deafening silence for hours, no one uttering a word. But it was obvious we were all thinking the same thing. We had crashed in the early afternoon and there was still no sign of rescue yet. It was deflating any kind of morale we had going for us when we realised we might be stuck in that place for longer than we had previously thought.

                 It was a terrifying thing to think, that we as a group of tenagers were stuck somewhere with no clue as to where exactly we were or if we would be saved. Coach Stratford had proved he was going to be no help to us and that we would have to figure it out ourselves. And it was horrifying to think that this might be our lives now, for however long we could survive with what we had. We could only hope that come tomorrow, we could find out where we were—hopefully somewhere we could see a town or a city. Or at least, get enough signal on Rebecca's phone to call for help.

                 The silence was killing me and I was dying to say something—anything to fill the void. After another moment, I cleared my throat, "Crazy to think we'd be at some kind of big Olympics event right now." I spoke up, watching as a few heads lifted to listen to what I was saying.

                Imani scoffed, wrapped in a big-pink fur coat, "Yeah, and now we're freezing our asses off in the woods." She chirped in a fake-happy voice, rolling her eyes.

                "Does anyone have any idea where we could be? Like at all?" Maggie asked, her curly hair tied into a low ponytail with a baby-blue cardigan wrapped over her shoulders, shivering slightly.

               "I stopped paying attention once we left the States." Hailey piped in, an illuminous orange beanie on her head, her arms wrapped around her tiny body.

              "Me too," Abby agreed. She let out a heavy sigh. "God knows where we are—this looks like the middle of fucking nowhere." She grumbled, shaking her head and I pursed my lips.

               "We'll figure out more in the morning," I insisted, nodding as I spoke. "When we split up, at least one of our groups should find something helpful—something that can tell us more about where we are." I assured them, trying to offer up a smile.

               "It feels very tropical to me—and I know my tropical islands." Brooklyn said, her arm still supported by the makeshift sling Hattie had put together.

              "Of course you do." Kitty scoffed, rolling her eyes.

               Brooklyn's blue eyes narrowed, "What's that supposed to mean?" She clapped back, her tone hardening as she turned her gaze to fixate on Kitty.

               Ivy laughed, "It means y'all are spoiled brats with your private jets and tropical island bullshit," She spoke up, bopping her head as she spoke, ponytail swinging at her neck. She threw her hand up. "I mean, this shit must be a real pain in your ass, right? Having to sit on the ground with the likes of us, slumming it till y'all are rescued and in the safety of your fucking mansions—"

               "Have you always been extremely bitter, Ivy? Or were you just born that way?" I spoke over her before I could stop myself, feeling my eyes narrow as I turned to face her. Something about her just bugged me—and it always made my temper snap so easily when it came to her.

              Ivy gave me a smile, "Born that way."

             I laughed, "Right."

             Silence washed over us again as we all avoided eye contact. And then Evie was letting out a loud groan, throwing her head back, "Can we just cut this tension bullshit?" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up as everyone turned to face her. "We're all stuck out here—together. What the fuck is the point of making this situation even worse by being at each others throats? It's just like Lennon said, we have to get along—at least in the meantime. Once we're home, we can all go back to being at each other's throats 'till our hearts are content. But right now? This shit is really just pissing me off." By the time she was finished, she was out of breath and looking at us expectantly. I felt slightly taken aback by her sudden outburst—Evie had always been so timid and quiet from what I could tell.

             Kitty threw her hands up, "What do you want us to do, Evie? Hold hands and sing Kumbaya around the campfire?" She asked in exasperation, turning to face her sister behind her.

              "I don't know! But this shit is just really fucking stupid. We could—I don't know, play a game or something?" Everyone reacted to her suggestion, rolling their eyes, shaking their heads, groaning. It was clear no one wanted to play happy families—but it might have been exactly what we needed.

               "No, she's right." I spoke over everyone's refusal to go along with Evie's suggestion.

             Imani laughed in disbelief, "Come on, Lennon. You can't be serious. We're not middle-schoolers."

             "I am serious," I told her, making her give me a flat stare. I got to my feet, "We're gonna have to pass the time some way or another. We're playing a fucking game." I insisted, grabbing the mini-alcohol bottles we had kept in a pile. We had plenty to go around, since the bar had been fully stocked and we had managed to collect multiple of them, at least twenty.

              I began tossing them around the circle we sat in, "Never Have I Ever. We're playing." I ordered, throwing one of the bottles at Imani who barely caught it, too busy glaring at me.

             Abby threw her hands up, giving in, "You know what? I'm in." She said, unscrewing the cap on the mini-Vodka I had given her.

              I handed one to June who took it willingly, "I could be doing with a drink." She said, gesturing with the mini-Whiskey I had handed her, knowing it was one of her favourite drinks—a trait she had got from our father.

              I leaned across the fire, holding out the last bottle to Ivy who was staring me down, her hazel eyes staring into mine. I raised an eyebrow, wiggling the mini-Vodka. After a moment she sighed and took it from me, giving a sarcastic smile and I gave one in return before sitting back down beside June.

                We all had a bottle each, except for Eden, who still hadn't spoken a word since the crash, but she didn't seem to be in shock anymore and was processing what was going on. She just didn't seem interested in our underage drinking—she never had been.

              I crossed my legs into a basket, "Alright, I'll go first with a warm-up. Never have I ever played high-school soccer." I said, raising the bottle to my lips after unscrewing it. It was a question that would have everyone drinking—which was the point.

              Everyone drank, not looking too happy.

             I glanced at June, asking her with my eyes to take the wheel. She straightened herself out, drumming her hands on her knees, "Never have I ever drunk-called an ex." She said, shrugging her shoulders, showing it was the first thing to come to mind.

             I glanced around, watching who took a sip. Abby, Brooke, Nora and Hattie.

              Maggie was next, "Um, never have I ever... got a tattoo." She spoke unsurely, piecing the words together as she spoke.

              Only June took a sip and my head swivelled towards her, my eyes widening, "You have a tattoo?!" I exclaimed. It was the first time I had heard of it—and I didn't know how June had managed to hide it from our father or from me.

              June chuckled, "It was a drunk dare and it's fucking ugly." She said, lifting up the bottom of her ripped-black jeans to show off her ankle. There was an awkwardly drawn smiley-face on the skin above her ankle, the lines looking wobbly, as if they were done by an unsteady hand.

               "That is kinda ugly." Imani piped in and somehow, it made everyone laugh—including June who nodded in agreement, putting the leg of her jeans back down.

                Brooke sat up on her knees, "Alright, my turn. Never have I ever stolen anything." She chirped, sending a not-so-inconspicuous look towards the members of the Devils.

              "I'm offended but not shocked." Ivy said, a small laugh leaving her lips as she took a swig of the Vodka—along with the entirety of their team, with the exception of Evie. Both June and I took a sip too.

               From beside June, Eden suddenly snatched the bottle of Whiskey from her hands, announcing, "It was one time and I felt really, really bad about it and I took it back straight away!" Before taking a quick swig, her face screwed up as the alcohol slipped down her throat—probably for the first time ever.

                 "What the fuck, Ede!" June exclaimed through a laugh as everyone else began chiming in, laughing along with her at the shock of not only Eden talking for the first time since the crash but for what she had admitted and how she had actually took a sip of alcohol.

                 Eden's cheeks were hot from the embarrassment and the alcohol. She screwed her face up, holding her hands in the air, "I was twelve!" She exclaimed, her Bambi eyes even wider than usual.

               Imani pointed her mini bottle at Eden, "I knew there was a badass deep down inside of you, Ede." She chirped, making everyone laugh and eventually, Eden joined in, giggling as she ducked her head, slowly overcoming her embarrassment when she realised no one was judging her.

              June wrapped her arm around Eden's shoulder, tucking her underneath, "I like you far better now." She announced loudly, giving her a tight squeeze.

             "Okay, I guess I'll go now," Kitty said, getting up to sit on her knees. She looked around the group, raising an eyebrow, looking like she was choosing who to pick on. "Never have I ever kissed a girl." She sang, a wide grin crossing her lips as she turned to look at Ivy who's jaw dropped.

              "You little bitch! That was a direct attack!" She exclaimed through a laugh, raising the bottle to her lips, taking a long sip and I couldn't help but smile. It was starting to look like everyone was easing up a little and actually enjoying the silly game. Just like I had hoped.

             "Name of the game, baby." Kitty chirped as I brought the bottle up, taking my third swig. Hattie, Imani, Abby, June and Nora also drank.

               Momentarily, Ivy's gaze landed on mine, having caught me taking a swig and it looked like she was surprised. I gave her a shrug, feeling the alcohol burning on my tongue, "Okay, so, never have I ever—" Evie's attempt at speaking was quickly cut off by a sound I hadn't expected to hear. Ringing.

             All of us jumped at the sound, getting to our feet, "Where's the phone!" Nora yelled, looking at me since I was the last one to have Rebecca's phone. It had been in my pocket and it still had been, but the ringing wasn't coming from that phone, it was coming from elsewhere. Somewhere in the forest.

               "It's not Rebecca's phone!" I exclaimed and we all immediately sprung into action, trying to find the source of the sound, running around like a bunch of headless chickens. My heart was racing so fast I was afraid it could burst. We hadn't found any other phones, but one had been close the entire time. Somehow, we had missed it.

              I ran to where I could hear the ringing, stumbling as I tried to find it in the darkness. After searching for a few seconds, I noticed a small light to my left and practically pounced on it, rummaging through the dirt it was under. I grabbed the phone, brushing the dirt from it—and that's when I saw the caller ID picture on the screen. It was my dad. It was my phone.

                "I got it!" I called out, quickly swiping on the answer button as everyone gathered around me, talking over each other. I put the phone to my ear. "Hello? Hello? Dad—dad, can you hear me? Hello?" I urgently asked, looking up to meet June's eyes which widened when she realised it was our own father on the other end of the phone.

              "Len... can you... hello?" His crackled voice spoke back, sounding like some kind of robot.

             "Dad, it's me! It's Lennon! I'm here—June's here too! Dad, we're—"

             "I can't... hear... Lennon—can you—"

             "Dad! I'm here! I'm here! We're okay, we're—" and just like that, the line went dead. I pulled the phone away from my ear, looking at it with wide eyes before putting it back, "Dad? Are you there? Dad!" I exclaimed before pulling the phone away again, trying to call him back, but all I could hear was the sound of beeping, telling me my call hadn't gone through. We had lost signal.

                I stared blankly at the faces around me who were looking at me expectantly, all on edge. My hand holding the phone slipped down to my side, defeated, "It cut off... I... he couldn't hear me..." I could barely get the words out, feeling my eyes burning and my throat closing up.

               "Dammit!" Ivy exclaimed, turning her back and marching back towards the fire where she sat down on the log, putting her head in her hands.

              June grabbed onto me, "It was dad? Did he—does he know where we are?" She asked me hopefully, her blue eyes wide, almost hopeful but also afraid.

              I shook my head slowly, "I don't think he could hear me... June, I'm sorry," I apologised before looking around at everyone else, shaking my head harder. "I'm so sorry..." I repeated for everyone to hear, my eyes pooling with tears that stung as I tried to blink them back.

                "It's not your fault." Imani said, coming up beside me and putting her hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze but I could tell that even she was defeated and disappointed by the way she wouldn't meet my gaze.

               "I—we'll fix this tomorrow. I promise. We'll get to higher ground and we'll fix this." I promised them as they slowly started to disperse around the fire, sitting back down, falling into the previous silence.

              But I couldn't move. I felt like I was rooted to the spot. I had failed them—even though it hadn't been my fault, I felt like I owed them more. I talked a big game about getting us rescued, but what was I actually doing to help? I was starting to think I was fucking cursed.

              AUTHORS NOTE.

               These girls honestly NEVER catch a break, each time they're having a moment, something happens!

                 Let me know what you thought of this chapter!

                — taylor xx