CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO.
i'm really glad you were on the plane.

ETHAN.

               I didn't regret saving Coach Stratford's life. But I didn't realise how hard it would be living with him. He hadn't said much in the last week, at least not until his big speech. But each time I looked at him, it put a bad taste in my mouth. Stratford could be potentially the nicest man on the earth, but I couldn't look at him without thinking of my moms affair. Overhearing his words that day had shattered my reality into a thousand pieces.

                 I had always envied my mom and dad for how much they loved each other. They were perfect. They were the kind of parents that were always smiling and laughing, and they weren't afraid to kiss the face off of each other in front of me. As a kid, I used to cover my eyes and beg them to stop, but the older I got, I came to enjoy their displays of affection. It showed me how much they loved each other. But when I overheard Stratford saying he had loved my mom, everything had come crashing down.

                   My mom was a cheater—something I hated. I could never stand by a cheater, and I supposed now that my mom was no longer with me, it made it almost easier. I couldn't imagine how things would have been had she still been here. Would I have to watch as she and Stratford became an item? I didn't like to think about it, but either way, I couldn't stop myself each time I looked at him.

                   "You alright?" The voice above me came from June. I could always recognise her voice from a mile away—it was the total opposite of her sisters, deep and raspy.

                   I looked up at her from where I sat in the clearing behind the plane. It had become June and I's spot without me even realising it. We often snuck off, not even to smoke weed because June was trying to savour her stash, but sometimes just to talk. I knew June didn't open up to people often, so I had felt incredibly privileged when she started to talk to me about her mom early in the week. I think she was mainly doing it to make me feel better about losing my own mom—letting me know I wasn't alone in the pain I felt. And I really appreciated it.

                  A heavy sigh escaped my lips, "Is it terrible of me to hate the guy with the amputated arm?" I asked, earning a throaty laugh from June as she sat down beside me, crossing her legs in a basket.

                   "Nah, you already hated him when he had both arms," She said, giving my shoulder a nudge with her arm. I couldn't help but laugh a little. I could feel June's big-blue gaze on me—honestly, it was unbelievable how piercing her eyes were. It felt like she was staring into my soul. "You wanna talk about it?" She offered, leaning her arm against mine, bringing me comfort.

                   When we were in Middle School, I'd had the biggest crush on Juniper Sawyer. She was the weird girl who liked to play on her own, her only friend being her twin and the snails she would collect in the garden. I had been smaller than her back then, way before I took my growth spurt. Some bullies had tried picking on me, so June had put her snail friends down their T-shirts. They left me alone after that, and I developed the fattest crush ever.

                   Over the years, I convinced myself that I had grown out of it, but I knew it was a lie. If June asked me to jump, I'd ask her how high. But she'd never shown any interest in me—not like that. I had to sit back and watch as she went through douchebag guys, the type that were no good for her. I couldn't say I was her perfect man, because that would be a lie. No one was perfect. But it had always made my chest ache, that she chose to be with guys that would ever appreciate the girl that collected snails.

                  I inhaled sharply, snapping myself from my thoughts. I clasped my hands and rested them against my knees, "I know that he means well, but I can't help but want to punch him each time he opens his mouth," June scoffed in understanding, nodding her head. "The day my mom died, I promised myself I would do my best to protect you girls—for her. I can't help but think I failed sometimes, especially after Hailey..."

                   June softly put her hand over mine and scooted closer, "You didn't fail any of us, Ethan. None of us could have predicted what was going to happen—shit, not even Lennon could," She assured me, her eyes piercing into mine. Somehow, she had managed to keep up with the dark eyeliner beneath her eyes and it only made the blue in them more pigmented. "You've been a great help out here and you've been someone I can talk to without worrying about being judged. You've really helped me." She told me, holding my eyes as she spoke.

                   I stared back at her, my hands warm beneath hers. My eyes momentarily flickered to her lips, and then back to her eyes. By the way her eyelids fluttered, I realised she had caught me staring, "Ethan, as shitty as this might sound... I'm really glad you were on the plane." She confessed, her voice small, barely above a whisper; as if she was telling me a secret only we were in on.

                   I watched her, taking in her features. June was so beautiful it made me loose my breath sometimes. I knew that she didn't know it—how beautiful she truly was. She constantly compared herself to Lennon, who was beautiful in her own way. But June, she was otherworldly to me. With her pale skin, oceanic blue eyes and big heart, she had managed to consume mine. Especially in our time together on the island. She was all I thought about.

                    I detangled my hand from hers and her lips parted slightly. I moved my hand to her face, brushing my thumb against the freckles across her cheek. She blinked slowly, her head tilting slightly as her features softened. I found myself moving forwards, and she did the same. Our foreheads brushed before I leaned mine against hers, closing my eyes and trying to breathe. I was so close to her—so close to sealing the gap.

                  June's hand wrapped over my shoulder, her hand moving into the back of my hair. I sighed in content as she swirled locks of my hair around her fingers, "I really want to kiss you." I confessed in a whisper, keeping my eyes closed, focusing on the feeling of her skin on mine and her hands in my hair.

                June nudged my nose with hers, making me open my eyes. She was smiling, the corners of her eyes creased, "I really want you to kiss me." My chest swelled at her words as I looked back and forth between her eyes, my lips beginning to stretch into a smile that only made hers brighter, a breathy laugh escaping her lips.

                I moved forward, my eyes on her lips. I could feel her eyelashes brush against my skin, moment before our lips connected. Her lips tasted like the cherry chapstick I often watched her put on. Her other hand found it's way to my hair, using it to pull me closer as she exhaled against my lips, returning the pressure. It was one singular kiss that lasted a lifetime.

                  June was the first to pull away, but she kept her forehead against mine, her eyes closed and a smile on her lips. I was watching her, a content look in my eyes. My thumb was tracing the freckles on her skin, brushing away small flyaway hairs against her face.

                    "Middle school me is screaming right now." She said in a low voice, giving a small laugh at her own expense as she opened her eyes, pulling back to look at me; though her hands remained in my hair.

                     "Middle school?" I questioned, opening my eyes.

                   June laughed, ducking her head, "Dude, I had the biggest fucking crush on you," She confessed, making my jaw go slack. She perked up a little, a playful look on her face. "Though, high school me just thinks you're really annoying." She said with a shrug of her shoulders, trying to contain her laughter.

                    I widened my eyes, raising my brows as my arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in top of me, "Oh, is that right?" June hummed, sticking her nose in the air, her legs wrapped around my waist. I sighed dramatically. "Bummer. I was just about to tell you all about my pathetic crush on you since middle school." I said with a shrug, playing it off nonchalantly.

                    June levelled her eyes with mine, a mischievous glint in them, "So, you had a crush on me?" She teased, grinning ear-to-ear. I liked seeing her like that—all playful, full of smiles. It reminded me of when life was easier for her.

                    "Oh, it's long gone now," I continued to tease. "Just like that. Gone. It's a real shame." I grinned up at her, my arms wrapped around her waist, locked together at her back.

                     "Is that right?" She lowered her face to mine, brushing her lips against my own. It sent a tingle straight down my spine. This girl was going to be the fucking death of me.

                    I tilted my head upwards, capturing her lips in mine. I pulled back as she smiled smugly, "Okay, maybe it's not entirely gone." June laughed before resting her face in the crook of my neck.

                   We stayed like that a while longer. We kissed some more and talked about this and that. My mind was on overdrive. After all of these years, I had worked up the courage to kiss the girl I liked and in the process, found out she liked me too. But at least an hour later, June had left me after Lennon had called out her name. She had quickly pecked my lips before jogging to wherever her sister was.

                   I sat there, on cloud nine before I decided I should head back into camp. I got up, walking towards the plane when Coach Stratford suddenly came around it, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me, "Ethan, I was just looking for you." He said, his hand stuffed into the pocket of his khaki trousers.

                 I held my hands up, "You found me." I chirped, attempting to go around him. I was in a ridiculously good mood. I didn't want to ruin it by talking with the man my mom had an affair with.

                   "Ethan. Son, can we talk?" I came to a halt at Stratford's words before a sigh escaped my lips.

                   I turned, folding my arms at my chest. I gave him a nod, telling him to get it over and done with. He stepped towards me, "I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you found out about me and your mom like that. It really wasn't fair. And I wasn't myself," My jaw locked. Hearing him talk so casually about my mom only pissed me off further. "We were going to tell you, you know. After Nationals and—"

                   "Well, none of that matters anymore does it?" I snapped over him. "She's dead. Just like this conversation."

                   I attempted to turn away, but his next words made me come to a stop, "Ethan, I saw her." I slowly turned around to look at the man, my face hardening.

                    "What do you mean you saw her?" I demanded, walking back towards him.

                    "There was a moment where I almost gave up," Stratford began saying. "I had accepted that I was going to die and I was alright with it. But just before I could close my eyes, I saw her. She was this bright light and she was standing right in front of me, so close I could almost touch her."

                    I stared at him as he continued, "She told me I couldn't give up, that there was still more I had to do. She told me I had to protect the girls—and you, she made me promise to look out for you—"

                     I shook my head, feeling my eyes begin to water, "I don't want to hear this bullshit."

                    I turned but Stratford caught me with his hand, "Son, please. Just let me do this—let me do it for her," He begged, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. "Please, let me look out for you—for the girls. Let me do it for Carla." His grip was tight on my wrist as I stared into his tearful eyes, my jaw clenched.

                     I pulled my grip from his arm, "You can look out for the girls. I have no issues with that," I told him, taking a few steps back. "But I don't need you to protect me, alright? Please, just make this easier for both of us and back off." I pleaded. I couldn't stand the idea of the man my mom was having an affair with being the one to look out for me. I didn't want it. I could live with him. I could put up with him. But I didn't want his protection.

                    Stratford took a step back, holding his hands up in surrender, "Alright, son. I'll back off." I stared at him for a moment longer before turning on my heels, retreating back to camp.

                    When I got there, Lennon was speaking to the group, talking about going to the beach the following day to try and set up some S.O.S signal. In the crowd, I found June's gaze and she smiled at the sight of me.

                    She walked up to me, noticing how I was more uptight than before, "You okay?" She asked, putting her hand on my bicep.

                   I looked down at her, my chest feeling lighter, "Yeah. I'm alright."

( authors note )

           well, that's us got our first cannon ship of the book! i actually rlly love june and ethan🥹!

            — taylor xx