CHAPTER TWELVE
Being a tyrant doesn't
suit you, Lennon.

JUNE.

             We arrived back to the camp before Lennon and the others. It was more obvious by our gloomy faces that we hadn't found anything and everyone had picked up on it. I hadn't known what to say when I returned—how I should let everyone down. It felt so fucking on brand for me, being a massive disappointment. I was sure that Lennon would return with something helpful, something that would put a smile on everyone's face and make them feel hopeful. But I couldn't do that, I didn't have the capability.

                 But I hadn't realised how wrong I had been when my sister finally did return, at least an hour after we did. I had been sitting by my suitcase, lost in a deep train of thought when I noticed the group return from the corner of my eyes.

                  I perked my head up, my eyes widening slightly at the sight of my sister. Everyone sat up, gathering closer at the sight of her bur she ignored each and every single one of them, making a beeline right towards me as I slowly got up to my feet.

                   Lennon paused in front of me, looking up to meet my eyes and I could see that hers were a little blotchy, "Did you find anything?" She asked me. And that was all I needed to hear to know that somehow, we had both failed. It wasn't just me. Lennon, my perfect sister, had failed too.

                   I shook my head, "Just a beach. There was nothing else. Not a single thing in sight." I told her, my voice holding defeat as she stared at me, almost blankly. I had seen this look in her eyes before and it made me worry. It was a look she had once had in her eyes when she had lost all hope in life—when she was at her lowest. And I hated that look with everything I had. She was supposed to be the one who had it all together. If she didn't, then what the fuck was I doing?

                     Lennon slowly nodded, "We didn't find anything either. Just mountains on top of mountains. June..." She trailed off, picking at the skin around her nails as she diverted her gaze. "I really fucked up... I dropped the phone." She told me, her voice small, quiet enough for the others not to hear what she was saying as they stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell them she had saved them all.

                    I stared back at her, feeling the aching in my chest that I knew belonged to her. She was in pain. My sister was in pain.

                   "I threw Rebecca's in the ocean," I said, attempting to make her feel better. At least she had dropped her phone, I had selfishly launched Rebecca's into the ocean—even though it was dead, it was irrational of me and I shouldn't have done it. Lennon's head lifted, looking at me with surprised eyes. "The phone died before we could get through to Brooklyn's parents. I just lost it and threw it in the ocean. I fucked up too, Len." I assured her that she wasn't alone in how she felt. That morning, she had put a large weight on both of us when she had made us the leaders of the groups. And now that we had failed, we didn't feel so superior; we felt like a bag of shit.

                   I half expected Lennon to yell at me for my stupidity, because only she was allowed to fail and still be perfect in my eyes. But instead, she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly, "It's okay. We're gonna be okay." She whispered, playing with the back of my hair as she held me like she used to do when we were younger. She would run her hands through my hair and I would feel safe, like the monsters under my bed could never touch me as long as she was around. And she still made me feel that way.

                    Lennon pulled away after a moment, a smile on her face. I hated that about her. How she was still able to smile, even when things got bad. She was so hopeful and so prepared to take how everyone else was feeling on her own shoulders to make them feel better. I had meant what I said to her before, I really did think it must have been exhausting to be in her shoes. I couldn't imagine living my life like that anymore, always having to be perfect—always having to be the fucking Angel in the room. But Lennon was perfect at it.

                   Lennon gave my arm a comforting squeeze and then turned around to face the faces that were staring impatiently at her, wanting to know if she had found anything, "We didn't find anything," She began saying, making those that hadn't been with her begin to whisper amongst themselves. I knew she could feel the disappointment and despair in the air, but she wasn't going to acknowledge it. "I know this is scary to hear, but we're on some kind of deserted island from what I can tell. There's nothing around for miles other than mountains and the jungle."

                     "We managed to get a signal on my phone, but I... I dropped it off the side of the cliff," She confessed, hanging her head. She took a moment, inhaling slowly before bringing her head back up. "The truth is, for the time being, we're stuck out here. There's no one on this island that's going to find us and we just have to hope that the people back home that cares about us knows that we're out here. Our only hope now is to stay alive long enough to be found and rescued."

                   "And that means we need to start rationing. All of the food that we have, we have to keep it for as long as we can, otherwise we're going to starve out here. And as far as water goes, we're gonna have to keep searching this island until we can find water we can drink from," I stared at her as she spoke, wondering how she had worked up the courage to come up with such a plan and to be the one to say it out loud, especially when half of the people around her didn't agree with what she said, preferring to wait around for rescue in some kind of delusion. "Which also means, all of our belongings, they don't belong to us anymore—"

                    "You're joking, right?" Imani spoke over her, putting her heart over her chest. Lennon's gaze settled on her, eyes unblinking, unimpressed. "I'm not sharing my stuff with anyone—"

                   "You don't have a choice," Lennon interrupted her, earning a shocked look on Imani's behalf. Imani wasn't the type of person to be told what to do—nor did she like it. Lennon looked around, her face hardening. "Anyone who isn't willing to share what they have, can't share what others have. That includes food and water. We can't just pick and choose. We have to be willing to help each other—we can't be greedy." Even I felt surprised by what Lennon was saying—it was so cut-throat that it took me aback. Was she really saying she'd allow people to starve if they didn't share their belongings?

                   Kitty scoffed, "Being a tyrant doesn't suit you, Lennon." She commented, sticking her nose in the air.

                   Lennon turned to face her, hair blowing in the small gust of hot wind that washed over us, "I'm not trying to be a tyrant. I'm just trying to be fair," She assured her. She gestured towards the plane. "We lost a lot of people, okay? I don't want to risk losing anyone else. Which means we have to share. If someone's cold, give them your jacket. If someone's hungry, split your food with them. I want us all to go home. All of us." I watched as she spoke, studying her face. Sometimes, Lennon was hard to read. She wasn't predictable all of the time. Sometimes, I really had no clue what she was feeling or what was going through her head.

                    "She's right," Abby agreed, walking towards her suitcase. She grabbed ahold of it, dragging it closer to the unlit fire before tossing it on the floor and unzipping it. "Help yourselves. Mi casa, su casa, and all that shit." She said, settling her hand on her hip.

                    Kitty groaned, "Just cause Abby is chill with people taking her shit doesn't mean everyone else is." She grumbled, folding her arms across her chest. Personally, I didn't see the big deal. I wasn't exactly in a rush to wear anyone else's clothes or share a fucking toothbrush, but it wasn't that big of a deal. But I couldn't help but think it wasn't so much about the belongings themselves—it was about trying to cling to things that was theirs; things that made them feel at home.

                   "Alright," Lennon drew out, glancing around the camp. "A show of hands. Hands up if you think we should share. Keep your hands down if you don't." She compromised, raising her hand into the air.

This was the first time we did this on the island, the first time we made a choice together. It wouldn't be the last, but it was the certainly the beginning. I just didn't know it then.

             Hands slowly began to raise and I looked around, seeing who exactly was raising them. Maggie, Abby, Ivy, Ethan, Evie and Hattie. I also raised my hand.

                     "Then it's settled," Lennon said. She paused for a moment. "Everyone, pick three things from your things that's yours and yours only. Everything else is fair game." She said before sitting down on the log by the dead fire, staring into the ash.

                    I sat myself down beside her, "That was pretty badass of you. Taking control like that." I told her, pulling my knees to my chest, turning to face her but she didn't look back at me.

                     "June... we're stuck out here. You know that, right?" She asked me in a small voice.

                  I stared at the side of her face, watching her jaw clench. I stretched out my arms a little, trying to play it off, "Yeah, but only for now. If there's one thing I know is that dad won't give up on us—he'll start his own damn search party if he has to." I assured her, a smile crossing my lips. I had drifted from our father since our mother died, unable to show any affection towards him, but I adored him. And he adored us. He would never give up on us—ever.

                    Lennon ran her hands over her face, "God, I can't even imagine how he's feeling right now," She began saying, her face buried in her palms. She exhaled shakily. "First mom and now us. It must be a fucking nightmare for him, not knowing if we're alive out here. He must be in so much pain." She said, pulling her hands from her face hand and I could see how her eyes were watering.

                     "Dad will be fine," I promised her, putting my hand on her knee. "We need to worry about ourselves right now." I reminded her, taking a moment to glance at our surroundings. My eyes caught sight of the plane and god, I fucking hated that thing. I hated that we had to look at it, that we had to breathe near it. How was it fair that it didn't burst into flames and turn to ash in front of our eyes?

                      "You're right." Lennon said.

                     I gave her a sideways smile, "Believe it or not, it happens sometimes." I joked and somehow, I made her laugh. And it made me so happy to hear it.

                     She was smiling slightly as she got to her feet, "I'm gonna sort through the food we have and maybe have another look in the plane, see if there's anything we missed." She told me before heading to the pile of food we had spread out on the stump of a tree. It was nothing special: snack bars, chips, chocolate, packets of nuts. All the usual shit a plane with a snack-bar would have.

                 I watched Lennon go, my heart feeling heavy. No one had asked her to, but she had put it upon herself to make sure everything and everyone was attended do. It was something that used to drive me nuts about her, but after everything that had happened, I was glad she had done it. I was grateful for the stubbornness she held and her ability to never back down even when others stood against her and questioned her. She had took control, and she might very well have been the reason we were going to make it out there.

                  LENNON.

                  After going back on the plane, I had covered the bodies with whatever I could find, wanting to give them some decency. It also made me feel slightly better to not have lifeless eyes staring back at me. I had put a jacket over Rebecca's body after promising her she would be laid to rest soon. I knew we would have to bury them now that we had no way off the island. They deserved to rest instead of staying in the place that had took their lives.

                   In my search, I had found a few more snack bars and shoved them into my back pocket. Afterwards, I sat at the back of the plane, where the end had ripped off. I had my feet dangling over the edge, staring out at the trees in front of me. It had been a particularly long day and it was barely even the afternoon. All I wanted to do was lay down and sleep.

                  I was staring at a tree, watching as two crows scuffled together by a nest. I had been so busy watching them that I didn't hear someone call my name at first, but after a moment, it registered in my brain that someone had when I heard it again, "Lennon..." The voice said in a sing-song voice. I didn't recognise it—not at all.

                  I turned my head, looking behind me but no one was there. I blinked back in confusion before standing to my feet, looking around me. I was the only live person on the plane, there had been no one there to speak my name. Which led me to wonder if I had imagined it. But it had sounded so clear, a little distant, but clear enough to know it was my name being spoken.

                  I shook my head, ridding myself of the thought as I brought my knees to my chest, resting my chin on my knees, "Lennon?" I swivelled my head so fast it hurt my neck as I tried to catch the source of the voice—but I knew the voice this time. It was Hattie and she was standing at the door of the plane, poking her head in and looking at me.

                   I sighed in relief that I wasn't mishearing things again, "Oh, hey, Hattie." I greeted, mustering up a smile.

                   "Hey, you alright with me checking your wounds? Just to make sure they haven't gotten dirty whilst you've been away." She asked me, returning my smile. I found that I actually liked Hattie. She seemed to be really nice—and always tried to be helpful. She hadn't stopped tending to people since the day before, always checking in on them and their injuries.

                  "Sure." I agreed, getting to my feet, heading to the exit of the plane. And that's when I heard it again. My name.

                  I stopped in my tracks, turning my head but once again, no one was there. The voice didn't belong to Hattie—in fact, it didn't belong to anyone I knew. I felt my heart drop as I came to the realisation that I truly was imagining things. I willed for it to not be true. I couldn't go through that. Not again.

           AUTHORS NOTE.

           My girl Lennon is STRESSING!!!

            Let me know what you thought of this chapter!!!

            — taylor xx