Chapter Eight: Lost, Not Found
Louis blinked, yawning as his clouded mind pieced everything together. The arm over his waist, the hair tickling his chest, the sound of even breathing and the click of a camera.
Mark stood over Harry's bed, a grin on his face and his phone in his hand.
"Fuck off Mark. If you wake him up, I'm dead"
"Shut up" Harry murmured, forehead creasing in a frown- Louis guessed he had one major headache. The hungover boy shifted, curling into the covers and facing away from Louis, removing his arm at the same time as he rolled over.
Louis was grateful, because now he could get out of the bed and not wake the other boy up.
He slowly sat up, turning his body as he did, and put his feet on the floor. Just as he went to stand a hand grabbed onto his elbow. Looking back he saw Harry , his eyes wide and, if Louis was correct, scared.
"Stay" The word came out perfectly, so Louis wasn't sure if Harry was still a little drunk or what.
Harry tugged him back and once again Louis let Harry lay him down and was cuddled by the younger boy . Harry rose his head for a second and poked his tongue out at Mark before he buried his face in Louis chest.
Louis looked at Mark, who was trying not to laugh. Louis smiled, biting his lip to stop the forming laughter. He was now quite sure Harry was still a little drunk.
Mark tapped his wrist before pointing at Louis' bed. It must be early hours of the morning. Louis nods and Mark settles back into bed. Louis closes his eyes, deciding to get a few more hours sleep.
He hoped Harry was as accepting about their position next time they woke up.
*
Louis opened his eyes for the second time that morning. A post it note was stuck to his forehead.
He peeled the sticky note off. He was careful not to tug on his hair, that the sticky part of the note seemed to cling to for dear life.
Once he successfully and painlessly peeled off the note he flipped it over so he could read the writing.
Gone to hotel to change and stuff. I'll be back by 11. ~Mark
He glanced at the bedside table, where Harry's alarm displayed the current time. 9:03. Louis rolled his eyes.
Great, so he had to deal with Harry, who was still sleeping but had moved away from Louis, all by himself.
Looking at the other boy Louis decided it would be smart to bed put of that bed.
But of course the moment Louis shifted Harry sat up, seemingly alarmed by the movement. His shoulders tensed up.
Harry caught Louis frightened eyes. He relaxed before he tensed up all over again. The taller boy blinked a few times, he was confused. Better then him being angry, Louis thought. Harry sighed then, his hand going to his hair as he looked down at lap.
"Er, did we do anything last night?" He didn't look up as he said it.
"What?" Louis practically choked on the word "God, no, we didn't do anything like that. Well..."
"What?" Harry looks up now, alarmed once again.
"We.. cuddled"
Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes. "That's nothing"
"Nice to know how much I mean to you. You said I was pretty last night" Louis got defensive now, wanting to cause Harry discomfort in the situation. Because, frankly, he should not be so casual about waking up in bed with his room mate.
The curly haired boy ignored the second part.
"You don't mean anything to me" Harry's eyes were cold and narrowed in hatred as he locked glazes with Louis.
Louis couldn't deny that hurt. Because it did, it hurt like hell. Why it hurt so much, Louis wasn't sure.
Wordlessly Louis stood. He went to walk away but paused, his mind suddenly going to his plan. Operation Notebook.
He turned and surveyed Harry's bed and desk. The notebook was no where to be seen.
"What?" Harry snapped.
Louis shook his head. "Nothing"
Louis could feel Harry's eyes on him the whole time he crossed the room. He only felt the eyes leave him when he entered the bathroom.
He just stood there for a moment, staring at himself in the mirror.
The Notebook. Where was it? Did Harry hide it? Leave it somewhere? Forget it when he was drunk?
Would Harry, the boy who protects this notebook like it was his life line, be so absent minded he'd take his personal notebook out with him while he planned on getting pissed?
Did Harry even leave with the intention of getting drunk?
Louis heard the door slam. He flinched away from the sound before sighing and dragging his hands over his face.
Why couldn't things be simple? Harry and Louis could either get along or not. Simple. But nope, instead they went from one extreme to the other.
Louis huffed, knowing it would never be simple, and turned then shower on. He might as well get in the shower before Mark got back.
*
Louis sat at his desk, typing up an assignment for English as he was waiting for Mark.
Harry had left earlier, Louis assumes that was the reason behind the door slamming shut.
In the one hour that had passed Louis had managed to type two lines behind the reason Shakespeare had..
Louis laughs to himself. He couldn't even remember what the assignment was about. His mind was too full of Harry, the notebook and last night.
He had so many unanswered questions that he was dangerously close to pulling lumps of his hair out.
He just wanted everything to be clear. He wanted to know where he and Harry stood. If he could approach the other boy without being emotionally or physical attacked or not.
He knew it was useless to sit around and ask himself all these things, it was only making him even more temperamental, and yet he still felt as those he knew more about Harry then he realised. He had a nagging feeling in his chest that he'd been told something that could put him quite a few steps closer to figuring out why Harry is the way he is.
The only thing that continuously popped into mind was that damn notebook.
Louis slammed his fiat down on the desk before letting his head fall onto the surface as well.
"I should just give up.." He whispered the words to himself, tugging on his hair with his right hand.
Pushing all his thoughts away he rose from the desk, checking the time as he did. 10:52.
Good. Mark should be back soon. He'd forget all about Harry and anything that involved the curly haired devil. Mark and him would just go out and do what they normally do.
Mark was going home today, no point wasting the little time they had on worrying about his irritatingly bipolar roommate.
Louis throat tightened at the thought of having to say goodbye to his best friend yet again.
In a way Harry was a good distraction from everything he was missing back home. But now all those feelings came crashing back.
The loss. The regret. The shame.
He should probably call his mum. If he didn't soon then who knows when he'd next get the courage to talk to her.
Deciding it was a good use of time and it would hopefully bring him a step closer to going home Louis picked up his mobile, dialing his mothers phone number.
The phone rang for five seconds before a voice filled the speaker.
"Hi-"
"Hey mum" Louis grinned at the sound of his mothers voice.
"This is Jay. I'm at work right now, call back later"
Disappointment flooded through Louis as he realised it wasn't actually his mum. He hung up, there was no point leaving a message she never listens to them.
He briefly wonders if she didn't answer on purpose. It was Sunday. She didn't have work. Louis hoped she wasn't still angry.
Placing the phone down again Louis let out a sigh. He's never been this depressed before, it just seems that everything is going wrong now.
just as that thought went through his head the door flew open, hitting the wall with a loud crash much like it had last night. Louis half expected to see a drunk Harry in the doorway, struggling to stand. Instead Harry rushed in, his eyes frantically searching the room for something.
One guess what.
"My Notebook! Where's my notebook?" Harry threw his bedding to the floor, looking under pillows and even the mattress.
Louis said nothing, simply shrugged as he watched Harry panic.
He noticed Harry had changed into a purple hoodie and black skinny jeans that showed just how long his legs were. The casual look suited him and made him look hot, Louis decided with a nod.
"Hello?! Louis! Stop checking me out and help me find my fucking notebook!" Harry threw his arms in the air, glaring at Louis as if he couldn't believe Louis hadn't jumped at the chance to help.
Louis blinked a few times, debating if he should help or not. On one hand, this guy was mental and Louis didn't owe him anything, in fact Louis shouldn't even consider staying in the room at night knowing full well this psychopath might attack for no reason. But on the other hand if Louis helped and found the notebook then he might be able to take a peek inside and if he was lucky get on Harry's good side.
The taller boy huffed and threw his arms in the air once again before he twirled and began going through his desk draws. It wasn't until Harry pulled out the top draw and tipped the contents on the floor that Louis choose to help.
"Where should I look?" Louis sighed. Harry barks an order and he obeys. How horribly cliche.
The panicked lad pointed to some draws that Harry used as a bedside table. Louis nodded and got on his knees to start searching through the draw.
"Shit" Harry muttered the word around 5784735373 times as he went through his belongings.
Louis was a little less messy with his approach as he neatly piled up the things he found in Harry's other set of draws. He made a pile of paperwork to the side of the draws and he also put all chargers and things like that beside the paperwork. He stopped himself from reading any of the letters, emails or whatever it was he was piling up.
He scoffed to himself a little. He was ready to try and seduced Harry in order to read that notebook but he wouldn't be so rude he'd read private paperwork. That made a ton of sense.
Louis really does confuse himself sometimes.
To help him ignore the fact his skin was crawling with the desire to read all the neat writing on the paper in front of him Louis focused on Harry's muttering. His confusion only grew at he caught bits of what his roommate was saying.
"She'll kill me.. She was going to kill me anyway... Jesus... I'm dead... Oh God, what if I'm sent to go live with the thing?... Please just let me die now... I'm dead.. I'm dead... I am so going to die..."
The thing? She?
Is She the same She that Harry said didn't understand him?
"Harry.." Louis turned, worried for the other boy who sounded close to a mental breakdown.
"Yeah?" Harry turned as well, his eyes wide with panic and Louis could easily spot the forming tears.
"Calm down. It's going to be okay"
"No, no. You don't understand. I need that notebook Louis. Its got so much information inside... I don't think I could deal with anyone reading it. Not even her" Harry didn't meet Louis eyes, he was staring at the floor as he spoke, biting his lip to stop himself from crying.
"Her? Harry, I don't understand" Louis frowns.
"See. No one ever understands" Harry went back to searching the pile that had formed in front of him.
"Maybe that's because you don't explain"
Harry sighs, meeting Louis' eyes for the first time since they'd began searching. His eyes were still glossed over from the trapped tears but they were cold and mean once again. Louis flinched away at the sight of the expression. Harry looks at him like that far too much.
"I don't explain because I don't want anyone to understand. If I wanted to talk to someone I would. I don't need help" Harry gritted his teeth, speaking through a clenched jaw. His hands had formed fists and his expression was beyond murderous.
Louis would need to be stupid to continue talking. For arguments sake let's assume Louis has a small IQ, or that it at least lowered by 100% in that moment.
"Everyone needs someone"
"Yeah, well I have no one. Never have. Never will" Louis could see Harry badly wanted to hit something, most likely Louis himself.
Louis shook his head. "I don't believe that"
Harry literally growled then. He glared at Louis, his nostrils flaring. "It has absolutely nothing to do with you so stop with the attempts of getting to know me and keep your mouth shut or I might suddenly feel the sudden need to get a new punching bag to reveal some stress"
The other boy gulped and nodded, returning to the bedside table/ draws.
Louis really didn't understand Harry. And the idea that he never would upset him.
"Fuck, where is it?! Did I have it last night?"
It truly disturbed Louis how easily Harry went from threatening him to asking him something like they'd been friends since they wore nappies.
"You didn't have it when you stumbled in last night, no" Louis shook his head, not looking at Harry as he still felt a little frightened.
"Do you know where I was last night?" Harry sounded hopeful.
Louis almost felt bad that he had to say no, the he remembered that Harry would happily tie with up and use him to train for the WWE championships.
"Nope, all you said was that you fucked a 'pretty girl'" Louis shrugged, not thinking it would be much help.
"In that case I know exactly where I was" Harry stood up as Louis gave him a confused look. Harry looked at Louis, expecting something. When Louis continue to sit there and look like a lost child Harry threw his arms in the air with a huff "C'mon you gotta help"
"You said you never asked her name" Louis replayed, trying to make sense of how Harry knew where he was.
"I never do, now c'mon" Harry took a step towards the door, making a gesture for Louis to follow him
"but Mark.." Louis wasn't sure if he wanted to go with Harry.
Each time he talked to the other boy he gained hope that Harry would be normal and they could be friends only for Harry to do something that proved Louis was stupid for thinking it could be that way.
He always got that hope, he couldn't control it. Every time he saw Harry a knot formed in his stomach from both fear and hope. Stupid unreasoned hope.
What was that famous quote? Madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Well, in that case Louis needs to be sent to the closest mental institute.
Harry let out a sigh, as though the mention of Mark physically drained him of every positive emotion he ever had. Like a dementor, Louis thought. Was Mark like a dementor to Harry? And if he was why in the name of everything holy did that give Louis a sick sense of pleasure? Harry was the twisted, crazy roommate, not Louis.
"Louis please..." Harry looked down at his feet, his voluming dropping to a mere whisper "This notebook is my life"
"Fine" Louis huffs, seeing the small smirk of Harry face as he stands up.
The taller boy raises his head, not even attempting to hide the fact he purposely just guilt tripped Louis into going with him.
Louis rolled his eyes at the arrogant boy before elaborately gesturing to the door.
Harry gave Louis that odd look that seems to be reserved just for the caramel haired boy. The idea of he and Harry having something personal between them, intentionally or not, made the knot in Louis' stomach double in size.
They make for the door just as it swings open to reveal Mark standing there, struggling to hold three large gifts. Louis could tell from the wrapping paper they were from his sisters.
"Oh. You're still here?" Harry rose an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he looked at Mark in disgust.
Louis frowned. Harry knew Mark was still here, Louis had mentioned it about five seconds ago.
"Yeah. I am. Visiting my friend. What's it to you?" Mark places the presents down , next to the door and looks to Louis.
Louis doesn't say a word. He doesn't want either of them upset nor does he know what he could possibly say to calm the tense atmosphere.
"I'm his friend" If looks could kill, Mark would be six feet under with an axe in his head.
Louis was bitterly reminded of Harry's words from earlier and had to bite his tongue to stop himself snorting or speaking.
"You're his roommate" Mark corrects, giving Louis a look that screams 'Say something, you tit'
Louis continues to say nothing and offers Mark a little shrug. His best friend rolls his eyes.
Mark glances at Harry and waits for a moment to see if he's planning on replying. When Harry doesn't pipe up the freckled boy turns to his friend again
"C'mon Lou, lets go"
"He's coming with me" Harry says the words before Mark even finishes his sentence.
Mark looks between the other two boys, feeling at though he's missed something of importance. He ignores it and focuses on how uncomfortable Louis looks. "I don't think so" He shakes his head. No way he's letting Louis go off with this guy.
"You're not his boyfriend, you don't get to make his decisions" Harry took a step back, his expression becoming more guarded.
Louis saw that same mixture of hate and sadness in his eyes once again. He had the urge to reach out and pull the high brick walls around Harry down then hug the broken boy till the muscles in his arms gave out.
"No, but I am his best friend" Mark spoke, pulling Louis out of his thought.
Louis had unconsciously stepped towards Harry, he didn't move back. Mark noticed that straight away.
Harry let out a low, humourless, dry chuckle "Does it pain you to say that? What would you do if I had him, huh?"
What?! Louis was screaming his thoughts through his widened eyes but otherwise reminded silent.
"Are you high? We" Mark pointed between himself and Louis "are friends. Friends"
"Ugh whatever" Harry clearly didn't believe him. Louis went to speak but was cut off as Harry continued talking "I can't be bothered with your shit, I've got to go find something"
And like so many times before Harry left the room.
Louis felt the need to cry.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top