Stumbling, bleeding, crying and anger. 

Hot, Boiling Anger. 

The need for revenge. 

The regret. 

The Guilt. 

Everything hurt.

I really felt like I was bleeding. I felt like there was an arrow in my heart. I knew there wasn't though. It was just emotional pain. So, I took a deep breath. A lovely breath it was. The last one. 

Pain pain pain. Blah blah blah. It didn't matter anymore. I've been through this thousands of times. They just really want me "alive", huh? I'm better off dead-dead. They can't seem to let me live in peace. 

It's okay. I deserve it. I killed a bunch of people. You know what I don't think I deserved? To have had to experience that smiling-demonic-idiot who left me to die! Haha- 

Yeah, I want that person dead. Shame their gone.  

They were a thorn in my side. 

And now.

I have an arrow in my heart.  

They left a gap there. The people I hung with? Filled the gap. They were torn away. The gap opened. It stayed open. It was a gaping hole in my already broken heart. I haven't met anyone who's done nothing, or just hasn't left me. My cousin? Killed me. He's fine now, but still. Smiles? Left me. Bianca? Left me. Tried to kill me, actually. Julia and Oli? Disappeared. Taylor? Died twice. 

They all left eventually. And now that I had time to think- I've thought very properly- that this, me losing everyone I start to bond with, is actually my curse. Not creating havoc. No. Losing everyone. Thats MY curse.

Thats the Traitor's Curse. Ha- I crack myself up. Thats what you do when you're lonely. You try and make yourself laugh. I had a bird friend now. Sadly, I had a feeling it was going to die soon. 

I should say sorry to it. Honestly, maybe i could see Bianca again. She apologized. She meant it. She's the only thing I have left since I killed Soldier. I should apologize to Torcher for that too. 

I'll do it later. 

For now, I'm going to try and find the person who put an arrow in my heart. 

______________________

Bianca, Oliver, Julia and the bird Belongs to - LynneDa_Wolf

Smiles formerly belonged to - AlexisgenderfluidUwU