Writing Prompt 735 - "I have to walk away. I have to leave." - Hyunjin

~

Falling in love was one of the most beautiful feelings Hyunjin's heart's ever gotten to know. From the moment he's first seen you, it was like all the novels he's ever read finally made sense. All the love songs, all the poems, everything he's ever heard about love proved to be real, not just a fragment of an inspired person's imagination.

Love, what a strange feeling it was. How weird it was to fall head over heels for someone he didn't even know the name of.

He never thought it would happen to him. Not like this. 

He remembers that day perfectly. It was late April, the cherry blossoms were in bloom, and in-between the concerts and the tight schedules, he had a day off.

It was rare to be able to go on his own to a new city just to explore, to get lost in the intricate architecture, to breathe in the scent of unfamiliar streets, taste new foods and simply enjoy being a normal person, far away from his otherwise extremely overwhelming life.

On that day, he left the hotel with no plan in mind. All he wanted to do was to be a tourist, to head nowhere in particular and to enjoy as much as possible before his departure the next day. New show, new city, new people, new everything. It was tiring, really, to always be on the way somewhere, so he decided that for this outing, he wouldn't be on the way to anywhere.

He wanted to be a regular person for a change, not the famous Hyunjin.

And so, he began walking slowly, his hands in his jeans, a cap on his head and a mask covering half of his face. He dressed as modestly as he could, making sure to not draw any attention, and he walked and walked and walked, smiling to himself and feeling truly happy for the first time in a long while.

Sure, being on stage made him happy; Stray Kids made him happy, and he enjoyed being at home with his family. But being on his own in a new place, just able to walk and enjoy a warm spring day? That's when he truly felt free.

For the first two hours, he simply walked with a coffee in his hand, sipping once in a while. He sat on a few benches here and there, and then he resumed his walk, until eventually, he found himself in front of a beautiful building, maybe the most beautiful he's ever seen ever since he left the hotel.

At closer inspection, he realised that the building was actually an art museum, and how perfect that was for him. He never planned on coming there, but being in front of such a magnificent museum, he felt like he could find answers to all his questions, and that he would finally be able to get over his art block.

He went in, paid for his ticket and got scanned for any weapons at the entrance like any other person, and he smiled to himself once more at the thought that no one recognised him. No one knew who he was, so he could just be someone else for a little while – not famous, not Versace's Prince, not Stray Kids' best dancer or visual or whatever else the media said about him.

And what a liberating feeling that was!

He walked and admired works of art for hours. The museum was so large, so impressive, he could just walk for a whole day in it and not get bored.

Unfortunately though, all the walking ended up making his legs grow tired, so he took the liberty to sit down on one of the benches inside. He picked his spot carefully, finding the most complex painting he could, and to his delight, there was a bench right in front of it.

The day couldn't have been more perfect.

But then, as he approached the bench, he spotted you.

You weren't anything extraordinary. You weren't dressed particularly nice, you didn't wear any make-up, and your eyes seemed very tired, but still, something about you made Hyunjin unable to take his eyes away.

You came and sat down right next to him, but you couldn't care less about him, he noticed. You didn't spare him even one glance. Instead, you focused on your apparent task at hand, which was taking out a large notebook out of your backpack and opening it up on a blank page. You then looked at the painting for a good fifteen minutes, Hyunjin counted, and after your intense staring, your eyes darted back to your notebook as you took out a pencil and began sketching.

Hyunjin was so drawn to the way you were drawing, each line sketched with perfect precision and confidence, and he found himself lacking. It was always hard to sketch, and his drawings never came out the way he wanted them to.

He watched you for more than an hour as you drew line after line, and when you were mostly done, you raised your notebook in the air and looked at your sketch, comparing it to the large painting in front of you.

Your face was displeased, Hyunjin noticed, and what you did next shocked him to the core. You clicked your tongue and ripped the paper away from the notebook, crumbling it with a soft sigh and a shake of your head.

"Oh, God!" He exclaimed loudly. He didn't mean to do so, but he was genuinely shocked, and he couldn't hold it in.

You turned to look at him with a confused expression, noticing for the first time that someone was sitting next to you. You were so absorbed with drawing that you couldn't bring yourself to care about your surroundings at all, so it was no surprise that you didn't see this random man staring at you for the past hour.

"Uhm..." You started, "Were you talking to me?"

"Yes... sorry... it's just that I think your drawing was very beautiful. Why would you crumble it like that?" Hyunjin spoke, realising he might've been out of line.

"Oh, this?" You chuckled. "It's shit, man. It's the third time I'm trying to do this, but I just can't get it right."

"What? You got it perfectly!" He insisted.

"No." You chuckled again. "But thank you for saying that. I appreciate it."

As you replied, you sighed again and turned your attention back to your notebook, and so, you began drawing again.

"Are you going to try it again?"

"Obviously."

"Why?"

"Exam." You replied shortly, your eyes so focused, Hyunjin found it rude to interrupt you again.

Still, he couldn't take his eyes away, completely captivated by how focused you looked when sketching. He decided to be rude once more, not truly wanting to disturb your concentration, but wanting to make sure that you wouldn't mind his presence.

"Do you mind if I stay here and watch?"

"And why would you do that?" You asked, your eyes still stuck to your notebook.

"I'm an... aspiring artist, you could say. My sketches are not nearly as good as yours, so I feel like I could learn a lot from your technique." Hyunjin replied truthfully.

"Sure, I don't mind." You shrugged, so Hyunjin decided to keep silent this time around, and he just watched how meticulous you'd draw each line, fully immersed in your creative process.

It took you two hours to finish, but when you finally put your notebook in the air the second time, you seemed more satisfied with the result.

"What do you think?" You asked, turning to look at him with a genuine smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

"I think that's very beautiful. I love the shadows you added there, and I can't understand for the life of me how you've managed to perfectly capture the viewer's perception of all the elements." Hyunjin took in a breath and then looked back at the original painting, before his eyes darted once more to your drawing. "The proportions are perfect as well. You nailed it."

"Really?" You replied with an even larger smile.

"Yes." Hyunjin chuckled a bit at your enthusiasm.

"Do you have any of your drawings with you? I'd love to see them." You smiled once more, your eyes sparkling with excitement, and Hyunjin felt glad that he carried his notebook with him at all times.

He pulled it out of his bag and handed it to you, and you immediately began looking through it, nodding your head ever so slightly every once in a while.

"These are great." You spoke eventually.

"What can I improve?"

"Hmm... let's start with this one, maybe?" You showed him a drawing and began pointing out which areas he should work on better, and you even showed him a few examples by quickly resketching his drawings in your own notebook.

"Is the museum closing?" He asked after some time has passed – hours, to be more specific, which he didn't even realise. He enjoyed so much talking with you about art, that time stood still, and the world around him didn't matter anymore.

"Oh, I think so. We should go." You chuckled.

"I really enjoyed talking with you... and I'd really love to talk to you and see you again. If you want to, of course." Hyunjin said as you both made your way to the exit.

"Oh, me too, but... I'm currently just visiting my family. I got a scholarship and I'm attending a University in Korea this year, so I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to meet you again..." You smiled sadly. "We could text, though."

"Wait,  in Korea? Really? Where? In Seoul?"

"Yes."

"I actually live there myself! Well, I'll be back there in around two weeks, but still!"

"Really?" You gasped. "That's such a fortunate coincidence!"

"Right? I can't believe it!" He laughed. "Then... could you give me your number, maybe?"

~

That's how you and Hyunjin started talking every day. He would send you sketches or random pictures he'd take around the world, and at first, you had no clue who he was or why he was travelling so much. It came as a shock when he eventually told you that he's famous. You genuinely couldn't believe it that this random man who's grown to be such a consistant part of your day-to-day life in such a short time was actually a superstar.

You regretted catching feelings for him, because you never thought you'd be lucky enough for him to reciprocate them, but when he confessed that he's also been harbouring much the same feelings as you did, you were over the moon, and so was Hyunjin.

Love was simply the most beautiful feeling in the world for him, and falling in love with you through your every day chats and multiple meet-ups throughout the week has been one of the best moments of his life.

https://youtu.be/_Rd-tALn0qM

But nothing could've prepared him for falling out of love.

The pain was tough, but the guilt was almost unbearable.

Hyunjin didn't know how it happened or why, but he found himself replying less and less often to your texts, and he didn't get much joy in receiving messages from you anymore. Talking to you used to be the part of the day he was looking forward to the most, but all of a sudden, he could go hours without replying to you and he wouldn't even notice anything missing.

He still enjoyed your presence and talking with you about your common interests once in a while, but the spark he once felt was simply gone, and it scared him. It made him feel like a horrible person. 

And the worst part of it all? No one understood him. No one seemed to know the answers to the questions in his heart, or the internal battle he'd been fighting.

Except for you.

You immediately felt the shift in his feelings, in the way he would hug you and kiss you. Making love felt more like sex than love, which was such a weird feeling when you were used to Hyunjin being so passionate about anything concerning you.

But you felt him slipping away through your fingers with each delayed text, with each cancelled plan, and you knew the end was coming.

It was agony to come to terms with the fact that your love only lasted for 6 months, especially when you were still so in love with him, and you were longing his presence more and more every day.

You felt that it was fate that brought you two together. It was fate working its weird, little ways of having both of you live in the same city, even if only temporarily. It was fate that Hyunjin and you had the same interests, the same taste in music, the same passions.

So, why? Why would fate be so cruel to deal you these hands of a short-lived love?

But, despite feeling this uncertainty for a while, you couldn't bring yourself to let him go. You never voiced these concerns to him, no matter how much it hurt you, and you let himself become more and more distant.

Each time you'd make a plan with him, you would wonder if it would be last time you'd see each other – if he would finally get enough courage to tell you that he's no longer in love with you.

You even began realising that he was probably never actually in love with you, but with the idea of love itself, and it hurt. It hurt so badly.

And so, with the November rain mercilessly crashing against your windows, you knew everything was bound to change, much like the seasons outside. The beautiful autumn was quickly turning into a harsh winter, just as you were anticipating the apparently inevitable break-up. 

You were waiting for Hyunjin to come to your apartment, and when he got there, you immediately realised that this would be the day he would finally muster up his courage and break up with you.

Damien Rice was playing in the background as you two walked in your small kitchen and sat down at the table, and with the way he was averting his gaze, you knew.

"Listen..." he started, so you kept quiet. "I have to tell you something..."

"Alright." You nodded with a soft smile, conveying all the sadness you've been feeling for the past few weeks. "I'm listening."

"I don't... I'm so, so sorry... I don't even know how to say this in a better way, or how to apologise, and I've tried to change it so hard, but no matter what I did, I realised... I don't love you anymore."

You were expecting this, but it still somehow took you off guard. You didn't know what to reply.

"I've been thinking long and hard about this for the past couple of weeks, but... What I feel... it's just not the same..."

"So... This is it, huh?" You asked in a quiet voice. "Is this how we're breaking up?"

"Yes... I'm so sorry for everything. I wish I could still love you, but I... I have to walk away. I have to leave. I'm sorry."

Tears began running down your cheeks in quick succession and you started sobbing quietly. Still, nothing Hyunjin would tell you would be able to comfort you in any way, so you decided to spare both of you of this relentless suffering. You just nodded and told him he could leave, and he did with no further words.

Itbroke your heart that such a passionate love turned you two into strangers soquickly, and although love used to warm up your heart, it now left you sounbearably cold, you didn't know how you would pick back up the broken pieces ofyour shattered heart.

~

(A/N) Hope you enjoyed this short story!

If you want to request a Oneshot, send me a number between 1-2675 (look at the Welcome! chapter for more info) and who it should be about, and I'll do my best!

Love,

Storm