"THAMES! Shot mo na!" I immediately covered my ears when she shouted beside me.

I'm currently in the bar with my girl bestfriend. She forced me to accompany her since she is heartbroken. Her boyfriend cheated on her again. Hindi ko na inusisa ang buong kwento dahil baka umiyak pa ito. This is not the first time she asked me to go to the bar dahil bawat heartbreak niya ay hinihila nalang niya ako dito basta basta.

"Stop drinking, naubos mo na yung tatlong bote! Give mercy on your liver." Asik ko bago pilit inilayo sa kaniya ang hawak niyang bote ng alak.

"Hindi mo na ba ako love? Ang sabi mo, do what I want to reduce the pain. Here I am reducing the pain! Give me back the bottle. Please, Thames." She childishly said and even do cute acts. 

Wala akong nagawa kundi ang ilapit sa kanya ang dalawa pang bote ng alak. Kaya lang naman ako inaaya nito ay para may maghatid sa kaniya pauwi, tsk! Napailing nalang ako, lahat nalang yata ng papasukin niyang relasyon ay masasaktan siya. Jerry? I think, pang 12 na ex na ito ni Jeya. 

Jeya and I have been friends since we were kids since her father works for my father's firm. Jeya is really such a fun girl, yet she is unfortunate in love, and she is always in pain. Her mother died while she was delivering Jeya. I feel sad to hear that Jeya lost her mother without ever seeing her.

"Thames, bayaran mo ha! Bukas kita babayaran, I think I just lost my wallet! Well, I don't care! Piso lang laman noon." Lasing nitong sabi.

Nasa akin yung wallet niya dahil lagi nalang siya may nawawalang gamit. So I took it from her and I think she just forgot that she gave it to me. Alas gis na ng gabi ng mag-yaya siya pauwi, buti na lamang at Linggo bukas at makakapagpahinga siya.

"Thames, bakit ba lagi akong niloloko?" Bigla niyang tanong habang naka-akbay sa akin.

Inaakay ko na siya papunta sa kotse ko, ang akala ko ay tulog na siya pero bigla siyang nagsalita. Tinignan ko siya, nakatingin lang din siya sa akin at napansin ko ang mga namumuong luha sa mga mata niya. My Jeya, I don't like seeing you like that.

"Thames, binigay ko naman ang lahat. Minahal ko, nag-effort ako, pinaparamdam ko talaga na mahal ko. Pero bakit? Tangina naman." Her voice broke when she cussed.

Mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang hawak sa kaniya dahil alam kong nanlalambot na ang mga tuhod niya. Ilang beses ko na siyang nakikita na ganito, pero wala akong magawa. Hindi naman kasi siya nakikinig sa mga payo ko.

"Shh, that is the way of God telling you that it is not yet the right time for you to be in a relationship." I simply said and she looked at me with her puffed eyes.

"Ikaw, Thames? Bakit never kang nahulog sa akin? Alam mo ba na ang akala ng lahat boyfriend kita?" She suddenly asked which made my heart pump rapidly.

I fell, Jeya. I fell, but you were too busy falling in love with the wrong man.

"Because I only see you as my sister and friend." I lied.

 She did not respond to what I said so I continued carrying her to my car. I drove straight to her condo, she was already asleep when we went there so I just lay her asleep on her bed. Kaya naman na niya siguro niya magbihis bukas. Iniwanan ko na lamang siya ng note at pain reliver bago inilapag ang wallet niya sa side table. Good luck to her head tomorrow.

"Thames!" She called.

Nasa school ground ako at papunta na sana sa room nang makita ko siyang natakbo papalapit sa akin. It's been a month since she got broken hearted and finally she is starting to refuse boys who is planning to court her.

"Namiss kita!" She said again and hugged me. That made my heart goes crazy.

"Thesis week namin. Kamusta naman ang nurse namin na 'yan?" I asked while my arm is on her shoulder.

"Napaka-epal nung teacher namin sa pharmacology! Magpapaquiz nang hindi nagtuturo!" reklamo nito na ikinatawa ko.

She is taking a nursing course while I took engineering. When I checked my watch, I saw that I am already late for my class so I needed to part ways with Jeya. I just texted her to eat lunch with me para pambawi sa pang-iiwan sa kanya sa school ground.

"May cute na transferee daw next semester." pagkukuwento niya habang nakain kami ng fishball.

"And?" I asked, raising my brows.

"Share ko lang, napaka-epal mo!" I smirked while staring at her annoyed face.

"My graduation is near, anong regalo mo sa akin?" Sambit ko at nanlaki ang mga mata niya.

"Omg! Oo nga 'no! Shit! My bestie na akong Engineer!" Sabi nito sabay akbay sa akin at ginulo ang buhok ko.

"Get off! Nagpakahirap akong mag-gel diyan!" Inis kong sabi bago siya pinilit na bumitaw sa akin.

"Regaluhan kita ng maraming babae, ang boring ng buhay mo! Wala ka pang pinapakilala sa akin na babae mo!" Sabi nito kaya sumimangot ako.

"Not interested." Seryoso kong sagot.

"Ano ba talagang ideal girl mo? Hindi ka talaga interesado sa kahit na sino?!" Usisa nito.

I'm only interested in you.

"Wala, tsk! Let us just go home." Sabi ko at hinila na siya sa sakayan nang makauwi na siya.

"Hindi mo ako ihahatid? Ang sama mo!" tanong nito at umiling ako.

I found myself falling for my bestfriend, sabi nila hindi lahat ng bestfriend na nagkakatuluyan ay tumatagal. I am still scared to confess my feelings for her, at baka lumayo siya sa akin. At saka ayoko rin isipin niya na katulad ako ng mga ex niya na manloloko.

"Congrats, bebe boy! I am super duper proud of you!" Kakababa ko palang ng stage ay nakita ko na siyang nagtatatakbo palapit sa sa akin.

Agad ko namang inihanda ang sarili ko sa yakap niya. Niyakap niya ako at pinalo-palo pa ang likod ko habang paulit ulit na sinasabi ang salitang 'congrats' sa akin. Ngumiti ako habang ginugulo ang mga buhok niya. Sunod na lumapit sa akin sil Daddy at Mommy para bumati.

I am now a college graduate. Lisensya nalang ang kulang.

--

A year passed and I am now a Licensed Engineer, while Jeya is still in Med School. Everything is getting tough and hard for both of us. Hindi na kami ganoon nagkikita dahil sa daming ginagawa. I was busy at the firm and started getting projects kahit na baguhan palang ako.

Ganoon daw kasi ako ka-galing.

Jeya had a new boyfriend again. I haven't met him yet dahil seloso daw ito sabi ni Jeya. Pero base sa mga pictures ay nakikita ko namang matino ang lalaki. Ilang buwan na rin ang itinatagal ng relasyon nila kaya masaya ako, at the same time getting hurt.

"Thames," I was on the site when she called. Only to hear her sad and hurting voice.

"Hey, are you okay? May sakit ka ba?" I asked her continuously, habang naglalakad palayo sa site dahil ang ingay ng barena.

"Can we meet tonight?" she asked.

"Of course, same restaurant?" I asked and she agreed before ending the call.

I rushed to the restaurant right after my work. Ang aga ko palang nakarating dahil 6:30 palang ng gabi. I stated the orders to the crew para pagkarating niya ay makakakain na agad kami. The bell chimed when the restaurant's door opened. I saw her entering wearing a red dress. It is a beautiful dress, kakain lang naman kami bakit nag-dress pa siya?

"Jeya!" I called while raising my hand so she could see me.

"Thames!" She automatically smiled as soon as she ran toward me.

She hugged me so tight so I did the same. I was about to push her out of the hug when I started hearing sobs from her. Is she crying? I tried to find her face but she was crying on my chest. She did not say anything kaya niyakap ko na lamang siya.

"Hey, what happened? Did he cheat on you again?" I worriedly asked.

"Thames, I'm dying." She said which made me stop.

"What are you saying?" I asked and she finally went out of the hug.

Her eyes are low and her lips are so pale. Why did not I realize this earlier? She walked towards her seat while she was still crying. I saw her getting a piece of paper from her bag and she handed it to me. I looked at it with confusion before staring to open it.

Diagnosis: Acute Myeloid Leukemia

Stage: 4

No. This is not true.

"Tell me this is not true? Impossible. No." I kept on whispering while my hands are on my mouth.

"Thames, I love you." Bigla nitong sabi kaya napa-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. She love me. She finally loved me back. 

"No, Jeya. You can not die. We can cure this. We will cure this, Jeya. No." I kept on saying while tears starts to form in my eyes.

"Thames, there is no cure." She whispered. I immediately sat beside her and hugged her tightly. She can not leave, not when she finally reciprocates my love. Tears started pooling in my eyes as I hugged her. I even kissed her temple, no. She can't leave me.

"Don't leave me alone, Jeya. Please, let's look for the cure." I said and she shook her head.

"Thames, may medications pero masyadong mahal. Ayoko rin namang ma-purga sa mga gamot." Pagpapaliwanag nito bago umiyak ulit. "Thames, I'm tired." She said which made me sobs a little louder.

I want you to fight, Jeya. Days passed so quickly and she was getting admitted to the hospital because her body started to get weak. She started having hair loss and getting skinny. She is not the Jeya I used to know. Sobrang payat na niya.

"Gagi, may kalbo." Sabi nito sabay turo sa akin habang natatawa.

Yeah, I made myself bald. I even resign to my work para hands-on ako sa pag-aalaga sa kaniya. I smiled at her while putting the plate on her table.

"Pogi padin." Bulong nito na ikinangiti ko.

"Ganda mo padin, kahit ang payat mo na." Sabi ko kaya umirap siya.

"Thames, huwag mo akong iiyakan ah. Mumurahin kita kahit nasa langit na ako." biro nito.

She knows I'll cry hard when she died.

"Kaya ko ba iyon?" tanong ko at tumalikod sa kaniya, isipin ko palang ang bagay na iyon ay napapaluha na ako.

"Kayang kaya mo. Pero, Thames. Kahit wala na ako sa tabi mo, gusto ko pa din makita kang maging Head Engineer." She said whice made me smile.

"No. Mag-aaral ulit ako." Sabi ko na ikinakunot ng noo niya.

"Mag-asawa ka na! Hindi ka ba napapagod sa mga math na 'yan!" Biro nito, I stared at her and found that she was faking a smile. 

HIndi madaling sabihin ang bagay na iyon sa mahal mo.

"I am going to be a nurse. I will finish med school since you weren't able to finish it." Sabi ko at umiwas ng tingin sa kaniya.

"Thank you," she whispered kaya napatingin ulit ako sa kaniya.

Umiiyak na siya ngayon. I knew being a nurse is one of her dream. Pero hindi na niya matutupad pa dahil sa sakit niya. So here I am, willing to take her course just to achieve her dream.

I walked toward her to give her food. Sinigang na baboy ang binili ko para may sabaw, at saka favorite niya ito. Handa na akong i-bigay sa kaniya yung tray nang marinig kong tumunog yung heart monitor niya.

Her blood pressure is going down, nakita kong nagdurugo din ang ilong niya. Nabitawan ko yung tray ng pagkain niya at agad na pinindot alarm button dahil emergency. Shit!

"Jeya, hold on." I pleaded. The doctors came and started to assist her. No, baby. Kumapit ka.

"Thames. Thank you so much for everything. Tell Daddy that I love him so much. Also you, my boy. I love you." Hirap na hirap na siyang magsalita pero pinilit niyang masabi ang mga katagang iyon bago siya mawalan ng hininga.

The same day, she died. She did not survive cancer. She was not able to achieve her dream. She left me. My Jeya left me.

Nag-flatline na yung nasa monitor at sumuko na ang mga doctor sa pagc-cpr sa kaniya. Until they announced her time of death. Napaluhod na lamang ako sa sahig habang patuloy na umaagos ang mga luha sa mga mata ko.

In between my cries, I tried to smile while staring at her peaceful face.

"Rest in Paradise, my Jeya. Wala ng hirap, wala ng sakit. Mahal na mahal kita." I whispered while holding her hands.

--

As I promised, I started studying Medicine to achieve her dreams. I did not know that this was this hard, mabuti at nakayanan niya.

It took me years to mourn. It took me years to move on. I was able to accept everything because I know that she was always there to guide me. I will still love her until my last breath. I just realized that she was like rain that will come to you and cast your worries away but when the day came and she leaves, you'll wonder how ever you hated the rain because of the pain and wrecks it causes.

Thames & Jeya