EIGHTEEN —— STRANGE RELATING TO THE LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER

106 AC, KING'S LANDING.

The celebrations— by far smaller than the celebrations for the king's wedding weeks ago— are held in the gardens that Morrigan has grown to love so much over the past two years— ever since her arrival in the city. She'd wondered whose idea it'd been— what the intention behind it was. A little piece of comfort carved out for her? Salt to the wound?

It doesn't matter, she supposes. It doesn't make a difference at the end of the day. Nothing makes a difference anymore, location, dress, guests, foods— they're all just background noise.

Sitting next to Edmyn at the center of the table, Morrigan watches as they're presented with their wedding pie by servants, placing the pie in front of them on the table. Together with Edmyn, she rises from her seat, her bright smile fixed on her lips— like something rotten in her mouth— as she places her hand over Edmyn's on the knife's handle and together, they cut the pie open, watching as the small birds escape and fly around them.

For a moment, Morrigan watches them, envious— if only, she too could escape her cage as easily as they had.

Silently, Morrigan takes her seat again, reaching out and bringing her goblet filled with sweet plum wine to her lips, taking a sip as Edmyn places a piece of the wedding pie on a plate to her, placing it in front of her, before taking one for himself.

She's still smiling as she puts the goblet back on its previous spot and grabs her cutlery, taking a bite of the pie. Her skin feels like it's crawling with ants as she eats the piece— watched from all sides.

When she is done with her plate, she allows herself to take in the crowd off guests once more, her gaze eventually settling on Lord Brandon Tully— finding him already watching her and she knows it's his attention she'd noticed. The Lord Paramount of the Trident, her brother-in-law, looks much like his younger siblings— with the same auburn hair, but unlike Edmyn, he has the same bright blue eyes as their youngest sister. As he watches her, there's a look in those blue eyes Morrigan cannot read— but, through the handful of times she's encountered Brandon Tully, she's gotten the sense that her new husband's brother does not much care for her.

She wonders if it's even at all to do with her character or just the threat she represents to him and his wife, who is sitting at his side.

She curves her lips into a soft smile, raising her goblet to him in a silent toast and brings it to her lips, taking a sip before she can get the chance to let her smile grow and twist into a baring of teeth at him.

There's a high clinking sound— quiet at first, before growing louder— and it takes Morrigan a moment to recognize it as the sound of someone clanking their cutlery against a goblet.

When the voices and noise begin to abade, she looks up to find Alden standing at his table, making a wide motion with his arm— his eyes sweeping the crowd in a manner she knows is for show. Alden could not care less about entertaining any of the guests, but they are in the presence of the royal family and thus, it's of importance how they go about their actions.

"If I could humbly ask for your attention," Alden calls out and the final guests quiet down as he turns his gaze to her— and her husband at her side— raising his wine at them. "I would like to make a toast to the darling Lady Morrigan Tully," for just a moment she thinks his lips might curl back into a snarl at the title for just a moment, but she can't know with the distance— a trick of the light, "My beloved cousin. May the Seven bless her and her husband in this new-forged bond of marriage."

Around them, the guests break out into shouts and cheers, but Morrigan can't tear her gaze from where it's locked to Alden's— eyes the color of the night sky meeting those the color of the sky during a storm— and then her cousin's chin dips just a little, something unspoken passing between them.

Alden is like her, she thinks— but unlike her, he had been born without siblings, the sole child of his parents. She'd never considered what that might mean. What it might've meant for her to have been born without her sisters. If Alden had them instead.

Alden Caron is like her— and the moment she saw his expression during his speech, she'd realized something she never had before. Not in the way she'd known before. They might be liable to strangle each other most of the time— but they were like each other. Loyalty to their own beyond everything— even their own personal dislike for the other one.

In that moment, sitting in the loneliness of her own wedding feast, she feels a kinship to Alden in a way she has never felt to anyone else.

Because there's the same anger and edges and protectiveness inherited between them like a wound rotting over generations.

They both have the harsh, unforgiving storms of their homeland in their very bones.

Morrigan looks her cousin straight in the eyes as her chin dips in return and she raises her own goblet to her lips, taking a sip of her wine.

———————

The further the celebrations draw out— the sky growing darker and shadows longer, and the guests drunker— the more Morrigan finds herself unable to be close to Alicent's presence.

She knows it's not fair— knows it's unkind. But she cannot help herself, especially today of all days. She doesn't know if Alicent realizes— there has not yet been an official announcement that the Queen is with her first child yet— if she even knows already, but Morrigan does. She's seen her mother go through this seven times. She knows.

And, tonight, she cannot stand the sight of Alicent knowing that, soon, she will be in her place.

With the wedding, with the children— Alicent is Morrigan's own future reflected right in front of her eyes.

The mere thought makes her sick, reminding her of the thing that she'd tried to force out of her mind all day— for weeks now, really. She could wake up expecting her first child tomorrow and not even know— she would not know for weeks.

She wants to scream until her throat is raw. Instead she smiles and laughs and drinks with her guests. Forcing herself to look anywhere but Alicent and anywhere but her husband at her side.

Somewhere between saying goodnight to Maris and Ellyn when her youngest sister had nodded off into sleep and her mother had send them to their chambers for the night and toasting with her grandfathers and uncle, she uses the opportunity to slip away from the loudest corners, finding a little solitude in the gardens as she walks through the bushes of blooming flowers, taking in the air.

Eventually, she lows to a stop in one of the little balconies, overlooking another part of the gardens a few feet below— idly remembering that the three of them had spend hours at this very spot, amongst others— and rests her hands on the railing just as quiet footsteps sound behind her, drawing closer.

Morrigan turns to send a glance over her shoulder, finding Rhaenyra approaching.

"You look..." Rhaenyra says slowly.

"Beautiful?" Morrigan asks with a wry smile. "I'm not sure how many times I've heard that today." She thinks tonight she might hate the idea of being pretty almost more than anything else in this world.

But just almost.

"Lonely," Rhaenyra corrects. "I don't think I've ever seen you this miserable, in all truth."

Morrigan's jaw tightens for a moment, spine stiffening as she turns her head to watch the horizon again— only just able to make out the waters of Blackwater Bay in the distance with dusk fast approaching. "It's a lot at times," she admits after a moment.

"I can imagine," Rhaenyra says as she comes to a stop beside her.

For a moment, the two stand in the silence, soft wind blowing around them and Morrigan wonders if the Seven will hate her for this, but she thinks of what's to come later tonight, of what she will soon, too, have to do for years to come. Alicent is her own fate, mirrored right in front of her eyes. And she can't not voice any of it.

Morrigan opens her mouth, closing it again after a moment, throat working, before she says quietly, "Alicent's with child."

Rhaenyra goes wholly still beside her.

Eyes wide, the princess turns to Morrigan. "What?" She breathes.

Morrigan swallows, eyes tracing the subtle movement of the flowers in the breeze. "Alicent is with child," she says again and it feels like digging her own grave a little more. All she can see is herself in Alicent's place, herself sitting next to Edmyn with hollow eyes, bearing one child after the other—

"I don't— How do you— how do you know?" Rhaenyra asks, words humbling over each other.

Morrigan shrugs a little. "My mother had seven pregnancies after she had me— it's easy to spot, eventually. If you know the signs. If they're there." She looks up at Rhaenyra. "I won't be certain until they make the announcement, but it doesn't matter if I'm right yet. I'm telling you right now, Alicent will bear your father a child within the next months and then it will be me and then it will be you."

As the silence stretches, Morrigan turns her gaze back to the gardens stretching below their little spot.

"I don't know what to say," Rhaenyra says finally and Morrigan isn't sure whether she means to her or to Alicent.

"I know," Morrigan says, not knowing which she means, either.

She lets out a shaking breath before she looks back at Rhaenyra. "It feels like dying." She says quietly, blinking fast.

Rhaenyra's face twists, expression falling. "I'm sorry," she whispers, helplessly.

"Me too," Morrigan whispers back, not even sure what she's apologizing for.

Rhaenyra sniffs softly, linking her arms with Morrigan's before she rests her head against the brunette's shoulder.

Morrigan's head tips back a little, eyes fixed on the darkening sky as she watches a lonely bird, just able to make out it's shape far above— letting herself imagine it's a dragon with red scales for just a moment.

AUTHOR'S NOTE,
lowkey thought this chapter would be a lot longer than it turned out to be (my brain is mush bcs i'm tired but i'm v motivated to write so this chapter is literally just a downhill road from the previous one and i'll prob rewrite this again tomorrow but since i don't have any impulse control this is going up before i'm going to be now but moving on!) BUT we've had some more ocs teased which will become important later on.

even though he's a really small part of this rn, alden and mor are amongst my favourite dynamic in this fic!! he will have a bigger part in this story later down the road and i'm SO excited for that.

also......... since y'all won't stop asking: we're getting very close to the end of act 1 and guess who's coming back in act 2 🤭🤭