When I arrived home, it was just after dawn, the time I usually got up and made everyone breakfast. As I made breakfast, I felt like I was going to shatter at any time. My tears were held back by grace, as I knew letting anyone know of the events would under our laws result in me, my shame as a woman, being stoned.

Knowing through various experiences, as a young woman, I have very few choices in the world of men. I have found hope with the wisdom of stories about God and within myself realised:

No events or persons can touch my precious soul, it belongs to me and my maker, and as such, I have choices in how I respond, act, love, and live within the ways of others around me.

As a woman, I have very little say or control over anything. I do, however, have a choice in my interactions with others and with whom I value. I choose to come from a loving place just as I've experienced the love and life force of my maker through all of creation around me.

I choose to live and appreciate every moment, even the tired grumpy ones that come with the blessings of loving and caring for my little ones. I share my appreciation with my babies every day when we play doing our chores with the animals, in the fields, looking at clouds in the sky, and finding the good in all different things.

Mind you, they are not babies anymore, but young children, and I turn my focus toward them. I gently wake my babies to get ready for the day.

"Good morning my darlings," I greeted them with a hug and kiss, "Let's get you dressed Mere and Hannah."

"Ok, Ee-ma," the pair chimed taking their clothes from me.

Well, to be precise, Mere took his clothes, and Hannah stood in front of me and waited for me to change her. I was satisfied that she was already toilet trained at 13 months. Mere, a couple of years older, was still having the occasional accident, but he was much better now since his sister was fully trained.

I wonder if it is a competitive streak of being a male in him. "Mere, will you be going with Saba today?" I asked, hoping this was the case.

"Yes, Ee-ma, I am going with Saba to the temple today," Meremoth replied.

"Well, make sure you are a good boy and behave yourself," I replied.

Meremoth nodded and quickly said a prayer to eat the breakfast that had been laid out for us by our servant.

"Slower Mere," I gently chided him, "Enjoy your food as it is better for your digestion to eat slower."i

"Yes Ee-ma," he agreed slowing down by a millisecond.

I sighed and gave thanks to God. I knew how much Mere preferred being at the temple learning rather than the home learning set by his father. The temple learning was easier, as the other young lad training, was somewhat distractable, and Mere being a young boy, would fall for their distractions.

When everyone had left and I was alone, I went to my quiet place away from others. Here, I could commune with my maker and share myself - I broke down and cried. How could my hero do this to me? Was he not beloved by God? How was I to face Uriah now? My words, thoughts, and feelings tumbling over each including although David said he'd look out for me if I was pregnant - I've seen the fickleness and harshness of men towards women who have been shamed by men.

Breathing through and becoming still, it's in this stillness I find peace and trust that my God, the life force flowing through all from conception through to returning to home, I am in the palm of his loving hands. Whatever is to happen, (although I may walk through this valley of trial and anguish) I will rest and trust in his loving grace.

A month went by and signs were now evident to me that I was pregnant with David's child. I prayed about what to do and all I could come up with was to send David word that I was pregnant. I know he said to do so, but I wondered what good would come of it. I knew my husband, even if he was recalled from the war, he would not see me. There would be no way of tricking him, as he was a righteous man whom I love and honour.

I wrote my note to David and sent it with an illiterate maid, but one with enough spunk that the letter would get to David directly and not go through other channels that would cause others to be aware of my shame.

I did not hear anything back, however, my husband came home and slept outside at the entry to our house and reported to duty in the barracks the next day. I had a feeling that David was trying to cover his sin by making my husband sleep with me so that it could be argued that David's child was Uriah's. So, I sent him another note with the same servant girl letting him know my husband did not touch me and refused to enter our home.

Uriah was home barely 3 days before he was sent off to war again, this time to where the fighting was heaviest.

'What is David up to?' I wondered, 'surely, he is not so desperate to protect me that he would kill Uriah? How would this help me?'

Word came that Uriah was killed. David delivered it himself and he spoke to me in private, he said at the end of the official grieving period he would come for me to make me his wife. I was inwardly angry, not wanting this at all. It was the only option though, within the ways of men, that I would not be stoned to death and the king's son would live and be claimed by David. I trust in God and by his mercy, we all could live - me, my children, and my child to come.

I am no person's judge and God would judge David by holding him accountable for what he had done. David, came as he promised and took me to his palace as his bride.

He came as he promised and took me to his palace. He brought me to his room again and tried to kiss me, but I would not let him, "This is too soon David, give me time, please give me another room, I cannot stay here."

"Ok, I will bring you to the room prepared for you, but I hope that your heart will change towards me, after all this child is a blessing from God for you and me."

"Do you plan on reading the Torah?"

"I do," David nodded, "It is an important custom."

"That is the only time you can see me for now. Perhaps in this time, my heart will change, but right now? I am angry and disappointed in what has happened."

"Please forgive me, my Love," David begged clasping my hands.

"I will think about it," I nodded, as I took my hands from his.

"Follow me," David said sadly, "I will take you to your room."

It was arranged then for him to come each evening to read the Torah to the baby and walk with me around the gardens. During this time, he tried nothing, not even holding my hand, it was as if he was repentant of what he had done. Perhaps he was, as I heard the prophet Nathaniel had spoken to him about what had happened.

I started to suffer from pains signifying the birth of the child was imminent, and the midwife was called. The poor babe was twisted when he was born, and he never seemed to get better.

David saw him and was mindful of Nathaniel's words that God would take the child home to be with him, but his eyes were full of love for the child and me. Marvelling in such a tiny miracle, he left then and went to the temple. Each day I was informed that David was in the temple begging for the life of our child.

I loved the child just as much as my previous 2 children and wished for him too to know a happy life, seeing and hearing David try to intervene with his God for the child melted my heart and I started to see him as the righteous man he was, and that he truly loved both the child and me.

I forgave him then, and a feeling of peace fell over me as if I had made the right choice. My heart opened and I came to love David with the love of an older more mature woman, and not one of my childish fantasies that were ruined.

🍀A/N Please vote if you enjoyed this chapter. If you see any errors, please let me know. Story is on a hiatus again this time because I am writing another.🍀