Avalon Adam Tyler

I pressed the button for the camera and sat down in front of it in the squeaky chair I kept in my room. I was wearing a black hoodie and dark sweatpants. I nervously licked my lips and began.

"As most of you may know... I'm Avalon. I'm not the strongest boy out there... Actually let me rephrase that. I'm probably not even considered a boy because of how much I've let everything get to me..."

I drew in a sharp breath.

"I guess it all started when I arrived at this new school in fourth grade. I am terribly socially awkward. I didn't make any friends that year and spent the summer alone with my dying mother. She was my idol. She was terribly strong. She died at the end of summer."

I scratched at my wrist. A nervous habit.

"Starting out fifth grade was hard because my father didn't want to accept mother died so he spent countless hours in bed. I started learning how to cook and clean. I was an only child so I didn't really have anyone to go to... I spent all of fifth grade alone as well. I didn't really want to be like all the other kids. They all looked so happy. I didn't want to ruin that..."

I felt my eyes glisten with tears.

"But middle school started. It's like everyone went through a drastic change. Instead of being the kid everyone ignored I became a bully target. I went countless days without meals and without someone to confide in because my father started spending time with all these woman to get his mind off mom. I remember coming home one day with a broken arm and no one could take me to the doctor. So I walked myself. My father was furious with the bill. It wasn't much of course but he called me a weakling and said I should of fought."

A tear rolled down my pale cheek. I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself down.

"I went through middle school just like that. My father became harsh toward me. Kids became stronger. Girls became harsher. So I picked up a blade on the last day of eighth grade. I cut myself for the first time. Right across the top of my wrist. I wasn't brave enough to go underside. Until by the end of summer I was running out of room and started cutting the other side. Than I went to my thighs ending of ninth grade."

I stood and removed my sweatshirt. Showing off all the scars I had acquired on my arms. After a moment I sat back down and looked back at the camera. Feeling ashamed of myself.

"I never really learned how to stick up for myself. So kids continued to pick on me. Not even realizing it hurt inside. I stopped cutting however the last year. I found it getting no where and turned to alcohol. I raid my fathers cabinet and drink myself sorry... School was hell for me... Well until recently. I met someone... Amazing... But I'll save that for a later video."

I clicked the off button for my camera. I sat back in my seat and watched the video upload onto YouTube. Agony filling me until I remembered what he said.

"It will make you feel better to talk about yourself some. Put it out there and see what happens. If anything bad happens I'll be right there beside you."

Your right Skylar. I feel so much...

Better,

Thank you so much for what you've done for me. I promise I'll fight my way through this.