A/N~Told from John H. Watson's point of view

Sherlock looked around the room surveying every possible angle for my secret hiding spot for his cigarettes. Even though it's the same hiding spot as last time (Under his skull on the mantle), he still thinks I'm not dense enough to hide them in the same place every single time.

"This is absolutely pointless," he said for the fourth time in the past ten minutes. "I mean really, what's the big deal with Christmas? I'm bored! Every year it's the exact same! 'Hello! I haven't seen you since last Christmas because you live in Oklahoma! How are you? I got you this! What did you you get me? Thank you!' But then the day they leave for home, you get a cab, and take the stupid thing back! You'd have to be absolutely mental to actually enjoy Christmas!"

Subtle, isn't he?

"Hate to say it, brother mine, but I actually agree with you," said Mycroft, as he entered the room. "Christmas is the most, how do you usually put it? The-"

"Butt of holidays. So...." he broke off, disappearing into his mind palace. Again. He does that often.

"Sociable," I finished for him.

He mouthed the word yes, but no sound came from his mouth. I didn't think he meant to do that. He also does that often.

"John, dear, please do come out of the den," said Mrs. Holmes as she came in from the kitchen with a platter of biscuits and tea. "you've been in there for at least two days! There is more to the house, you know."

It was my turn to mouth yes, but I actually knew I was doing it and did it purposely.

Suddenly Sherlock's phone chirped, and he sat straight up and looked at me very seriously.

"John," he said, all too calm to be Sherlock, "where is Mary?"

"I dunno," I said, trying to shake the question off."Stayed at home. Said she didn't feel like getting up, you know, with the baby and all."

He shook his head and showed me his news update.

Pregnant woman commits attempted kidnapping.

"That is not Mary!" I screamed at him."She would never do that!"

"Well, she did shot Sherlock in the abdomen," Mycroft said. "Balance of probability, John."

Sherlock started to say something, but promptly told him (read: threatened him) to shut up.

"Mrs. Hudson?!" I called. "Where's my phone?!"

She motioned towards the table next to my chair and I snatched it up; I called Mary.

"Where the hell are you?!" I screamed into the iPhone. "Sherlock's going on about how just got arrested! What have you done?"

"God, you're dense," she said. "You honestly think I'm the only pregnant woman in London?"

Her reasoning did make sense.

I hung up and glared at Sherlock.

He shrugged at me and said while laughing ,"Told you I was bored. Mycroft, Mary, and I set the whole thing up. But, the look on your face! God, you really are dense! You actually fell for it!"

"B-b-but, what about the news update?" I asked, on the verge of a cringe attack.

"Text from Mary," said Mycroft, slowly drinking his punch. "You haven't drugged the punch again, have you?"

He shook his head no, but winked at me.

I calmly set down my cup.