Instead of giving a summary I am going to write the first chapter, Hope you guys like it!

I promised myself I would never cry again. I do this every night, but then I always end up crying myself to sleep. Everyday I hear about what a piece of crap I am, how worthless I am, how I am better dead.

Yet you wouldn't know it.

I go to school every day with a smile on my face, laughing, acting like this is the best day ever each and everyday. One look at me and you wouldn't suspect that both my parents are dead and I am living with my uncle and aunt. Honestly no one can make me cry except for my aunt. She is a very scary person.

I cover the bruises with sweaters, even in the summer. My bed is a sleeping bag rolled out on the floor and I have only five outfits to wear plus two sweaters. I don't remember a time when I was truly ever happy.

Yet I hear about people who cut themselves because there life is so bad and I wonders why I don't cut myself.

Maybe it is the fact that if I start hating myself and injuring myself, who will I have left to love me?

I always laugh at every chance I get. You might be wondering why, I wonder."

Maybe it is because if I won't create a little joy in my life, who will do it for me?

You are also wondering why I don't wear black.

Maybe it is because I don't want to give in to the darkness inside of me.

I wonder when the tears will stop.

But if they stop, will I give into the monster hiding inside of me?

I am in this huge world, alone. I promise myself, no more tears.

Tarra. Female. Age 15.