The drive to the orchard was silent, but neither of them minded. Simple Plan was quietly playing through the speakers.

Connor was quietly singing along, not know that Evan was listening.

Evan smiled, enjoying how calming his voice sounded.

"You have a nice voice," he said.

Connor looked over at him, face red. "You heard that?"

The blond nodded. "I have ears for a reason," he teased. "But really, it-its nice."

Connor turned his attention back to the road. He continued singing and turned up the music.

Evan decided to pay attention to the words.

I've always been so reckless

All of my life

But I'll try

For you

Evan looked at Connor, who was drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, matching the rhythm of the song.

Evan rested his head against the cold window, watching the trees and buildings pass. His eyes drifted closed and the sound of Connor singing faded away.

Connor shook Evan awake, announcing they were there.

Evan unbuckled himself and exited to car, walking around to stand next to Connor. Once Connor was out, they walked over to the fence and climbed it.

Connor landed on the ground gracefully while Evan stumbled, almost falling.

Connor lead Evan deep into the orchard, his hand wrapped around Evan's wrist. Evan tried to ignore the blush that was creeping onto his face.

    They arrived at the tree they normally sit under-and for some reason they've been there so many times that they recognize it.

    Evan stepped closer to the tree, grabbing one of the sturdier branches and pulling himself up.

    "Evan, are you crazy?" Connor asked. "Your arm just healed and you're already climbing trees?"

    "I haven't climbed a tree in months," Evan said in between breaths as he continued climbing. "And I'm making sure to be even more careful."

    Evan sat on a branch that he was sure was sturdy enough to hold him. "You should come up here, it's great."

    "I uh, I think I'll pass," Connor responded. "I'm not one for heights."

    Evan nodded and leaned against the tree, smiling. He swung his legs back and forth.

    Connor stared at him, then at the tree. "Can't believe I'm doing this," he whispered to himself, shaking his head. He approached the tree, grabbing a branch.

    He was nowhere near as good a climber Evan was, so he's constantly slipping and losing balance. Eventually, he made it to where Evan was.

    Evan scooted over, away from the base of the tree so Connor could sit.

    Connor looked around the orchard, taking in the scene. Everything looked small up there, the flowers were barely noticeable. The sun was peaking out from behind the leaves.

    He had to admit, it was a pretty sight.

    A huge gust of wind came their way. Evan started to sway and he held onto the branch, eyes wide.

    "Maybe we should get down," Connor said.

    Evan nodded, staying still. Connor began to slowly climb down, gripping the tree whenever he slipped. Evan scooted closer to the base of the tree.

    Connor was halfway to the ground when Evan started heading down. Another burst of wind flew by, causing Evan to almost fall. He clung to the tree, tears pricking his eyes as he stared at the ground.

    He kneeled on the branch, staring at the ground. It was about forty foot drop and he was sure it would do the job.

    Connor was now on the ground, telling him it's alright.

    As he prepared himself, he started having second thoughts. Did he really want to do this?

    Sobs racked Evan's body. His finger nails dug into the bark. The wood bit into his hands.

    "Come on, Evan!" Connor yelled over the wind. "It's only a little ways down."

    Evan sniffed and wiped his eyes, the memory still fresh in his mind. He started climbing again, slower this time.

    He sat on the branch, head in his hands as tears streamed down his face.

    Even unknowingly placed his foot on a thin branch. It snapped.

    He took a deep breath and made it so his body was dangling in the air, only his arms keeping him up. The height made him nauseous, but he pushed it away. He was about to let go when the branch snapped.

    "Evan!" Connor shouted.

    Evan frantically grabbed onto a branch. The wood scraped against his skin, making his hands burn.

    His body was on the ground, one arm bent the wrong way, blood seeping out from where the tree cut him.

    He didn't move. "This was stupid," he whispered. He could barely hear his own voice over the ringing in his ears. "This was stupid, this was stupid, thiswasstupidthiswasstupidthiswasstupid."

    "This was a mistake, this was a mistake, this was a mistake," he choked out, trying to keep himself conscious.

    Evan clung to the branch, arms and legs wrapped around it.

    "Evan," Connor said. "I'll catch you, I'm right below you, just jump."

    Evan gasped, alarm and terror written all over his face.

    "Don't worry," Connor reassured. "I promise."

    Evan slowly unwrapped himself from the tree. Now in a sitting position, he had one arm wrapped around the base of the tree and one holding onto the branch.

    His eyes met Connor's. He took a deep breath and without giving himself time to think about, pushed himself out of the tree.

    He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

    Connor kept his promise and caught him, although he ended up on the ground.

    Evan was sobbing into his chest, his tears soaking his hoodie.

    Connor tried to sit up, but Evan wasn't making it easy.

    "I'm sorry," he whispered, more to himself than to Connor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

    "It's alright," Connor said. "You're fine."

    Evan climbed off of Connor and scooted towards the tree, leaning his back against the trunk. Tears stained his face and his nose was running. Snot covered his top lip.

    He wiped his nose with his arm. He caught sight of his hands and winced. Splinters covered them and blood was starting to come out.

    One by one, Evan carefully ripped them out. There were some that were too deep to get. He'd need tweezers for that.

     He stared at Connor, who was standing above him.

    "Are you alright?" Connor asked.

    "Are you alright?!" Heidi asked as she burst into his hospital room. "I was so worried, what happened?"

    Tears welled up in his eyes and he sobbed again. He buried his face in his knees, shoulders shaking.

    His whole body was shaking. His chest was hurting and crying was making it worse but he couldn't stop.

    "Dude." Connor kneeled next to him. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

    "I. . . I fell. Out of a tree."

    "I didn't fall." His voice was muffled.

    "What?"

    Evan's head shot up. He gripped Connor's wrists, staring at the taller boy. "I didn't fall, Connor! Out of the tree, I didn't fall."

    "What do you-" realization spread over his face. "Oh my god. . . You. . ."

    "I let go." He wrapped his arms around himself, nails digging into his sleeves. "I-I just. . . I w-was so l-lonely and I-I c-couldn't help b-but think e-everyone would be better off, that I could just disappear without anyone noticing or being sad. M-my mom would be, be able to pay f-for her classes, a-and could afford a better house. She, she wouldn't have to p-pay for my medication or therapist. J-Jared w-would have better friend and wouldn't have to deal with my anxiety."

    Connor sat there. "But if you did succeed," he said. "Then I. . . I wouldn't be here."

    "W-what?" Evan glanced over at him.

    "First day of school," Connor explained. "When I pushed you and took your letter. I was planning on killing myself."

Evan put a hand on his shoulder.

"But when you said that your timer was broken," he continued, "it gave me hope, not much but some, that we could possible be. . ."

Evan nodded, understanding what he was saying.

"But I mean, there's still a huge chance we're not," Connor went on. "I know that you said yours stopped counting when we met, but it the time could've been off. You maybe were suppose to meet them a month before meeting me, we'll never know."

Evan wrapped his arms around Connor. "We'll figure it out," he whispered. "Just not right now. I don't wanna have to worry about that when I just admitted my biggest secret that not even Jared knows."

"Wow. Not even Jared knows? I must be special."

"Well, you did kinda help me out of a tree. You deserve an explanation for why I suddenly started crying when you asked me if I was fine."

Connor chuckled. "How about some ice cream to help you calm down, huh?" he suggested.

Evan looked up at Connor. "I'd like that."