Sienna Stone

The squad is all here. No one left as the Pakhan gave them permission to leave if they think death is what they shall not seek. Caspian is standing beside Shina--who is hugging her daughter as the little girl weeps in her mother's arms. Shina comforts her and hands her to an older lady who will be taking the girl far away and out of reach for protection. Caspian wraps his arms around Shinas waist to console her. He kisses the top of her hair and mumbles something, which has Shina sadly smile up at him.

Donovon and Dimitri are both conversing with each other before clasping their hand together with a tight grip, both nod once as if promising something to one another.

My eyes then land on Julian, to be honest,  I'm happy he stayed, not that I didn't think he wouldn't, but, we have grown as close friends of sorts--or at least to me we did. His eyes are on his pistols as he twirls them in his large hands before pulling them back into his side holsters that are strapped to his sides. His eyes then flick over to me as if he could sense my gaze on him. He smiles at me.

I never did appreciate how handsome he truly is. He is wearing an all black suit, like a spy of some sorts---maybe I could describe it as a ninja slash assassin suit, I guess. He has a knife strapped to his ankle above his combat boot. A belt built to hold bullets for his pistols, and his sling shot is strapped at the back of his backpack, which who knows what's in that.

I have noticed a lot of them, the entire squad wearing backpacks---

Were we supposed to bring....

Caspian comes to my side, "Here, I have brought you some weapons that I think will be useful for you. Per Julian's expertise of what you like." He hands me a small handgun, the one I've been practicing with. Then he hands me a Russian pocket knife along with a backpack of my own.

I furrow my eyebrows, "what's with the backpacks?"

"It is all we could pack of any important items you must need. All our belongings that we need for whats ahead." Is all he says before leaving me.

Okay? I wonder why?

Oh, and did I mention Caspian, Shina, me, and the twins are all wearing formal dresses and suits for the event? It's a masqerade style banquet. I'm wearing a red silky one slit long dress with a sweetheart neckline. My hair strewn up into a delicate bun with a few curly strands on the loose.

Shina is wearing a midnight blue dress, almost the same style as mine, but hers is more modest. Her blond locks curled and flowing like an angels halo. She is truly a sight to see. Caspian should feel very lucky.

I have yet to see my husband, that is, I don't care too right now or anytime soon, but I would have to be seeing him soon. The plan is still the same, the one he told us to stick with...

While we all know he has other plans of his, which he will not tell us. Keeping secrets, pushing me away, gaslighting my own feelings for him.

It angers me to no end. He was slowly becoming a pissass of a companion.

Am I being pity right now? Yes.

But I've always been petty. We all knew that much when we first met.

"You look lost in thought, bunny."

Julian needs to stop calling me, "I'm just thinking how much I want to throttle a grumpy, bipolar brute of a Russian bastardo."

He frowns before looking over to the others, "Did he...mention anything about what's to come tonight?" He pries.

I look down on my heels, "No." But then recall the last thing he told me, "well, sort of, if it's anything to do with it. He told me that tonight he would be asking a question, and he wanted me to say no. Which confused me because it made me think of what he could possibly be planning? No?"

Looking up, I'm met with his eyes as they are now on me. Something about the weight of his gaze made my heart beat just a little faster. Those unusual blue grey eyes rove over my entirety, "You look expensive, but good." He says, as if trying to compliment me.

"Thanks?" I guess. "Have you ever complimented a woman before?" I wonder.

He tsks then gives me a sly smirk, his hand rubs the back of his neck, "You are the first. Anyway, I came over here to tell you something. You may think I'm coming off shady, but I've been trying to come up with words to say it."

I raise a brow in question, not sure I want to hear what it is.

He takes a step toward me until he is now standing shoulder to shoulder, him facing behind me while I face forward, he mumbles, "Stone may have plans of his own but I also have my own. Sienna, when shit goes side ways---I will protect you. Also--"

I feel the warmth of his palm placed against my stomach, my breath hitches to his surprising gentle touch, "--I will protect your future."

Exhaling a soft breath, I tell him, "Julian... don't risk your life -"

"Now why tell me that--when we both know if I didn't want to, then I wouldn't be here?" He cuts me off, voice deep and agitated.

Of course, he chose to stay, but why is he? Why join the squad? Why risk his own life in this mission? It couldn't be because of his family with Nico? Or that it's truly because he was bored?

I know the twins didn't even choose. They have devoted their life for Nico and now me. So, of course, they will continue this mission...Caspian, I know it's for revenge. Shina---well, it's the revenge of her late dead husband.

But Julian...

What is his motive? What is the reason for him to join? Other than skills? Nico gave them a choice to leave or stay, but why is Julian choosing to stay and risk it all?

Placing my hand atop of his that's over my stomach, I firmly squeeze, "to be fairly honest, I am scared." I whisper.

His eyes snap over to me, and his jaw clicks into place as if trying to stop himself for speaking. Or rather speaking freely, "this will all be over soon." He claims, voice firm and sounding absolute.

I nod in return, feeling half the fear I felt follow in his wake as if he took some of the weight I bare with him when he leaves my side. I needed that comfort to settle my nerves, and he did just that.

My eyes follow him until he is out of my sight. The twins are heading my way as Shina heads to a car. "Let us go, sweetheart. It's time to join the event." Donovon says, gesturing me to the other car we would take. There is a line of three black cars.

My eyes wander off to the first car in line, knowing full well my husband is seated in that one. Shina opened the car and slipped in before I could even get a glimpse of Nicos suit and tie as I walked past.

Dimitri and Don are both walking beside me on each side as we reach the second car, and we get in. The cool leather chills my warm skin once we get seated with me between them.

I look over my shoulder and catch Julian taking the rear car by himself---no driver, just him getting in the driver's seat.

All the cars start leaving as we ride down the driveway, but my eyes stay looking back as I watch Julian drive his car and take a different exit than us. My mood...is...

Suddenly, I feel uneasy that he is not taking the same route as all of us. I do not know exactly his duty in the plan, which is other than hacking into the cameras and getting everything ready for tonight.

Caspian will be taking his own transportation, yet I didn't see where he went off to. All I know is that Edmond doesn't know and can not know he is out of prison.

The drive to our destination is quiet. Until Donovon speaks up, "I saw you talking to Julian earlier. You both seem to be pretty close lately." His tone sounded a bit accusing, but I brushed it off.

Does it seem so? I don't know what he means by being 'close'. Friends, yes, but he may be thinking otherwise, "Julian at least hears me out and doesn't avoid my feelings, unlike some." I mumble in reply. Referring to Nico and the lot of them. Yes, the twins have been there for me, but only when I'm horny...

I have decided that in the end, the twins and I are just, 'just and nothing more. Yes, I deeply care about them both, but do I have this love for them the same as Nico. No.

It's been a bit, but I need to tell them the truth, the ugly truth, "after this mission is over. I would like for you both to find it in your hearts to forgive me---for the past month, it's been exhausting. I'm going through a lot just for the start of  a new year. For my own husband to avoid me and treat me as such when you both knew what I've been going through. But with everything, I find myself not finding either of you by my side, not really. I've been emotionally wrecked and drowning, and you both ignored it. So yes, I've become close to Julian, who had been there for me, listening to me, checking in on me. Making sure I've eaten or slept, taking care of me in the littlest way." I confess feeling my lip wobble.

The twins are silent for the longest time, probably processing my words. This intense energy envelopes the three of us, which feels suffocating to breathe in.

I didn't need them to say anything back, and I think they know that I have made my mind up, "we go our separate ways. You stay devoted to Nicolai, but other than that, we three have no strings for each other anymore."

My heart hurts to my own words, but my mind seems to be a lot airy as if a huge weight has been lifted.

"Sienna." I hear Dimitris cracked voice from the side of me. My eyes shift to him, and my heart breaks at the sight. His eyes shone in tears, "Please... don't leave us -" his hand grasped my small one that's lain on my lap.

I cut him off, "but where were you both? When I needed you? Sex? Is that what I needed more? Yes, we had a heart to heart chat once, but it wasn't enough..."

Am I the selfish one here? For feeling this way? For expressing my feelings openly to the point of hurting others?

Am I the bad person here?

At that thought, when did I ever get what I truly wanted? In the end, I still gave up so much for Nicolai and everyone else. I gave these three my virtue, my soul, my heart.

All for being thrown away like I'm nothing of importance. 

Being pushed away as if I'm not worth fighting for. I'd rather have been kept close and protected, not left alone and protected.

But out of all the people in the mansion, Julian was the one who treated me as an equal, as a friend, as a normal person. He never once asked anything of me or has taken anything from me.

So when I look into the twins' sad eyes, I speak up again, "I'm not the old Sienna anymore. I've grown and I'm sorry...I know this is going to sound shitty and cliche as fuck. But, it's me, all me, not you both." I take my hand from Dimitri. Don stays silent as I feel a gloomy aura from him.

After that, the ride kept quiet and solem as we finally reached the hotel.

Little did we know that lives would be lost and a sick twist rises.

In the end, I have no heart left to give.

A devil can only ever be a devil.

Who grew up living in a world with a blurred line between right from wrong.

A cold-hearted killer...

To be continued_