[phone call]

heyy babe-e

who is this?

it's asshhhhhton from all-statee

why are you slurring your words?

just so you know i'm frowning in confushun

please tell me you're home

why are you gonna to pay meh a visit?

no, just stay where you are, please

i'll think about it

ashton, please. i'm begging you

aw, honey boo-boo i willll i sorry

good boy.

yyeeeeaaaaaaaayyyy! do i get a treat? by the wayy i'm movinmph my eyebrows in a suggestion way

i'm going to hang up now, go to sleep

i'm in bed and waiting for my teddy bear p.s. that's you

goodnight, ashton

wait, can i tellll you a secreet?

anything.

i'm inlove with a girl that has the same name as you

what would my name be?

maya and i've been texting her, butttt she doesn't know me so shhhhhhhh

okay, shhh i won't tell her

hmph, i love my maya

i'm sure she loves you

[end of phone call]