Alex. Day Six - 22:42

I had made several attempts to converse with Jack after the uhm... 'Incident', however all my attempts remained fruitless as the boy sat there in a silent temper tantrum, his eyes shooting daggers through my spine. He was overreacting really- Okay, maybe I shouldn't have had sex with him if he didn't want to so much, but the guy's mental; sex is sex - a good thing. It was probably the whole virgin thing, but hey it's not exactly as if that mattered and I wouldn't put him down as the type to actually care about shit like that, but I guess he is. I couldn't exactly pinpoint as to where Jack's beliefs and trust lay, and it remained my one weakness; it wasn't like this before, I could read all of my previous victims perfectly, it was just Jack, and yet none of this deteriorated the fact that I never wanted to get rid of the guy.

When I walked past him room I couldn't even hear the sound of him breathing. With an ear pressed against the door, one would believe that it was an empty room, with no Jack Barakat falling apart inside. Maybe he held his breath as I walked past, maybe not even to spite me, but maybe because he was just that scared, I'd made him scared of me. Surely that had been the original intention, but things were so much different, so much more complicated now, because I didn't want him to be this scared of me; for once I wanted to talk to the guy, because the direct approach with someone of ample intelligence was so much more fun.

I wanted him to spill, I wanted to know everything about him, I wanted to know what made him tick and what would make him hate me and what would make him love me, because loved knowing how to toy with people's emotions like that. It probably wasn't the best of hobbies, but no one could pick who they were, well not really anyway. Everyone likes to think they can, but that's just how humans work, they feed off pride and excessive optimism; it makes me sick really.

I pushed the guilt off, it'd be fine. I shouldn't feel guilty at all - the guy was overreacting completely. That's what I thought, but the thought didn't seem to ever quite go away, no matter how hard I tried to dispel the haunting thought from my head, the more snugly it nested between the fabrics of my brain, leaving me with the sole option to give up. I didn't like giving up.

I had never liked giving up, because if you gave up, there was no chance of winning and nothing's better than winning, nothing at all could possibly be better than winning. Except maybe the enigma that is Jack, I don't like how unpredictable he is, yet it seems to be the only thing that continuously draws me back to him, and that's stupidly reckless. I'm getting far too emotional now, if I had managed to hold onto my emotional abstinence then maybe I wouldn't be so drawn into Jack, he'd be gone by now and I wouldn't feel myself caring about him. These emotions are all Jack's fault, which begged the question; was this his intention from the very start? No - he couldn't be that clever, I wouldn't like for him to be that clever. I like being the clever one, I like winning.

Maybe I'd ruined things with Jack and the boy would never trust me again. Maybe I'd broken the boy entirely and maybe he'd never speak to anyone again. Maybe Jack was just being a stubborn, arrogant, prick. I much preferred the latter, but I knew that was very unlikely to be the truth. Jack was so much more of a complex person than that, sure he had his imperfections, but for a normal guy he was rather fascinating, even to a mind like mine.

Jack was all too fascinating to be a normal victim to me; there was definitely something about the guy that I couldn't put my finger on, yet never quite take my mind off either. Jack was ensnaring me with his stupid brown eyes and I didn't like that one bit - I was the hunter not the hunted and I needed to enforce that upon him, but I know all too well how he'd react and my downfall was that I hated upsetting him, I hated it when those eyes were spoiled by tears.

Jack was rather perfect, with those beautiful brown eyes and crooked smile that never came out to shine anymore. I missed that side of Jack, I missed happy Jack- No, I needed happy Jack, and I was a selfish person, therefore I was going to get happy Jack, there was no question about that one. I just had to figure out how a person of hatred could turn into a person of joy. It was a rather baffling thought, which of course led for me to be all the more intrigued by it, because the things that most interested me were Jack and new ideas - combine the two and you have something that's right up my street.

I just didn't quite know if he'd even allow me to go about it, or go near him for that matter. I needed to regain his trust and I needed to regain it desperately. I missed the smile, the eyes, I missed him. God knows why he trusted someone like me in the first place, but I'm all too glad he did- Glad. I need to stop this, I need to break free of these emotional bonds, I need to get out, I need to get away. But Jack was the eye of the storm and I couldn't stop reeling myself in.

The problem, of course, was that I hadn't a clue in the field of making Jack Barakat happy and was rather unqualified in the matter. I would, of course, be more than eager to find out. Along with Jack and winning, I decided the pursuit of knowledge would be added to my list of favourite things, because well I liked it, I liked to be able to say that I know things.

I liked the gravity of it all.

-

Jack. Day Six - 23:01

Eleven o'clock.

It's far too late, but far too early. Nothing makes sense in these four prison walls anymore.

I had begun to count the hours down since it had happened, and since I'd last spoke a single word to the filthy bastard that is the incredibly handsome and unspeakably charming Alex Gaskarth. I shouldn't even think that; I really doubt his ego can take the extra boost. But really, I hate him - for real this time. He fucking raped me, there was nowhere else this friendship could go than down the shitter, but really he was a serial killer and I was a guy with no friends so our chances weren't exactly fruitful in the first place. Nothing was fruitful in my life any longer, so really what was I to expect? Rape. Rape was not what I was to expect, not at all. Even the word made me sick to my stomach, sending the contents of my practically empty digestive system flying across the room.

It had been twenty eight long hours since it'd happened, since a word left these infected lips. He'd been inside me, he'd infected me. I felt dirty, unclean and filthy; a plague, an infestation that needed to be dealt with. I just couldn't deal with myself, I was alone and gagged in an empty room. The only comfort I had was the light and a clock looming over me in the corner. I was glad he had left me with the ability to know the time at the very least.

Watching the second hand tick by and gradually counting the minutes kept insanity at bay, and other destructive thoughts pushed deeper far back into the most wretched corners of my mind. These corners however, slowly began to fill, the havoc and chaos picking away at the self-induced facade of selective dementia, until eventually the walls fell down and the thoughts fled in, hoards and hoards or them, armed with pitchforks and spears and javelins and god knows what else.

However, there were some thoughts, some thoughts I just couldn't keep away, even temporarily, and some thoughts that simply wouldn't remain locked up behind bars, thoughts that liked to wreak havoc and break free. Thoughts that I would have never even considered without being locked up in a room for days on end, thoughts that were within the reaches of insanity, thoughts about the gun he'd oh so conveniently left in the corner of room, thoughts about what I could do with that gun. My mind liked to scan through the possibilities, rather like window shopping, but all the more dangerous, all the more fun. All the more Alex influenced; I would have never even considered half of these things if I'd never met the guy, but here I was now, my eyes fixated on a weapon of mass destruction with a stupid grin plastered across my face.

Then something terrible happened. Things like that seemed to have made a habit of popping back up in my life every once in a while.

The door opened. With a click of the lock, a twist of the key and a final shove, followed by the heavy footsteps on creaking floorboards; the exact creaking floorboards of this very room.

I turned and glanced at the figure, I narrowed my eyes at it, and it, of course, was Alex.

"Hey Jacky," he smiled at me walking across the room to me. I twitched nervously as the sound of his footsteps grew louder; I didn't like to know that he was growing increasingly closer to my broken self. "How are you?"

I didn't know why he tried, he was clever and should have worked out by now that I wasn't going to answer, or maybe he was just trying to prove that he was more stubborn than me - he wasn't. I was going to prove the asshole wrong, I wondered if he even knew what that felt like, what it felt it like to be wrong, what it felt like to be inadequate, to be unclean, a broken shard of glass that sliced against everything it touched.

He didn't know, he wouldn't know, he would never know, because he's Alex and he's far too sure of himself. I loathe and both envy that trait equally, it's an odd mess, one even my own brain can't comprehend.

I watched from narrowed eyes as he sat down opposite me. He looked all too happy, all too friendly and I soon found myself shuffling back into the wall, further away from him and the psychotic mess he carried with him. He brought fear around his pockets like spare change, a firearm like his house keys and my sanity away like a hefty tip. He liked to play God and over the years he'd gotten far too good at it, but I didn't think he hated the right job description. Satan would fit him far more adequately, in my opinion.

"Please, don't be scared of me." I didn't like the puppy dog eyes, I didn't like his tone, I didn't like it one bit at all. "I'm sorry, I should have listened to you, Jacky." He looked genuinely sorry, but it was Alex and therefore there was the very simple fact that I couldn't trust him in the slightest. He was just acting, I assumed that great acting came with great lying, the latter of the talents he certainly did possess. Along with murder, and kidnap and dozens of other no doubtably illegal activities.

I should be much more scared of him, the amount of complacency I hated with being in the same room as someone as him was spine tingling and gut clenching. I felt stunned, bewitched by him even. All I knew was my inexplicit command to hate him and my inability to does so. It was a sick world.

"I'm really truly sorry, Jacky." Yeah for shit you are. "And I want to fix this, I'm just not quite sure how. Tell me how, please?" He was good, that was for certain. He was good enough for there to be a part of me that actually wanted to speak up now and answer his goddamn question and forgive the fucker so we could just get on as friends and maybe I'd fall back in love with him- no, that was a stupid idea, an idiotic, Alex induced idea and I, for one, wasn't going to give in, no matter how much I fucking wanted to.

I wanted to love him, I really did; I just wouldn't let myself, because things like this and of a much more grave nature could only become a regular appearance and that was something I wasn't going to let happen. I wasn't going to let him win, even if I wanted him to. Even if I was rooting for him, I wouldn't let him root for me.

"Please, Jacky. I care about you, I love you." He threw those words away like the skin on a banana, but it didn't prevent my heart from stopping in an instant. I just stared up at him with big empty eyes, I wanted him to mean it, and I wanted him to love me, because I think he was too perfect to put to waste.

"I mean it, Jacky baby." He could quite clearly read my expression and despite how every brain cell in my body screamed at me not to, screamed at me to run and run whilst I could, there was nothing to stop me falling, there only had to be somewhere there to catch me and it only had to be him. I was rooting for him and these roots were growing a tree, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite cut it down.

Something ticked in my brain, something clicked making the impossible possible, making the irrational rational and the unintentional far too intentional. And the words he should never hear slipped and found their way directly off my tongue.

"I love you too." The twenty eight hours were for nothing- no, they didn't mean anything; I was just stubborn that's all. I was far too keen to just accept Alex's apologies and fall in love with him and I hated that I just couldn't stop myself, because within one glance at those perfect brown eyes I was bewitched entirely.

Alex had an addictive aura, a bittersweet taste that wouldn't leave your tongue and left you with nothing more desirable than to say the words that would drive a stake straight through your heart.

"Thank you, Jacky." He pulled me against his chest, hugging me far too tightly. It was nice to have some human contact, but for the contact to come from a far too affectionate Alex was weird and stomach clenching; I was all too scared that he had other intentions entirely. "Do you trust me?" He was looking me in the eye again and I found it impossible to tell the truth and say no, it wasn't a good idea either, because he wanted to think he had won- okay, he practically had.

God, my sanity is truly gone by now. I should have given up on sanity a long time ago; maybe it would have made this whole ordeal easier. He cleared strayed far off of sanity's path years ago, so it'd make us even - almost. There was always the fact that he was a psychopathical genius.

"Yes, Alex." Saying his name was weirder; reminding myself of the fact that he was human was lung snapping. "I trust you."

I felt like I had just sold my soul, but of course Satan would have been kinder. Wait hadn't I previously appointed him as the new Satan? Yes, that would explain a few things. It's not like he was sprouting horns and a tail or anything though, was it? Well at least it didn't look like it and I most certainly hoped that wasn't the case, because if so I would have just physically sold my soul to the devil.

"Okay, you know what baby?" This might most definitely not be good and by that I mean I'm most likely deep in the shits right now. If this was another sex ploy I was in deep shit right now. He needed to get his head on straight; he needed to realise that not every was as devoid of emotion as he was. Okay maybe he liked being a sadistic skeleton, but I liked to smile, I liked to love, I liked to cry. He had none of that, and I'm rather glad of it, because emotions just complicate motives. His motives were all too morally insufficient, but overall rather clear.

"What?" The word stumbled out in a unorganised mess of mispronounced syllables and embarrassing voice cracks. He'd definitely brought out the eloquence in me - that was for sure.

"I'm going to undo the chains and unlock the door." I think my jaw snapped clean away from the rest of my face. "You can go freely around my house, but not outside. I don't want you outside, okay? Promise me you won't go outside?" I couldn't believe a word that fell from his lips.

"I promise." I could barely believe it - I was getting out of this fucking room. I just hoped the rest of his house was far less dreary than this room.

He pulled a key out of his back pocket and unlocked the handcuffs. He grabbed my hand and pulled my limp, crippled frame up from where it had been pushed against the wall for far too long.

I glanced down at my wrists and sure enough, they were battered from yanking on the cuffs furiously. It was a horrible mess, but a mess I had created nonetheless, leaving myself and myself alone to blame.

He unlocked the door, not letting go of my hand and dragged me out into the main part of the house.

"Jacky, welcome to my humble abode."

Humble was certainly an understatement - the place was massive.

And we'll all dance alone to the tune of your death, we'll love again, we'll laugh again, and it's better off this way.

Hey guys:) I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'd love it if you left a vote and a comment if you like;) Because you that shit's polite and all;)<3