Jack. Day Fourteen - 20:48

"Alex!" His name left my lips harsh and scared like a warning signal, but I gained little response as my boyfriend's head dipped into the sink once again. It was horrible to watch, but I couldn't just look away and leave him.

Retching sounds reverberated between walls of the enclosed kitchenette as he threw up into the kitchen sink. It was disgusting, but my concern for the boy had overdriven my dislike for sick entirely, my brain rewiring itself into a terrible state of co-dependency.

Co-dependency really was a perplexing matter, and not one to be taken lightly by any means. Co-dependency really could break or make someone and right now, I found myself directly amidst that curse. Not that I found myself minding that much, because well, Alex was Alex and I was far too attached to the guy for my own good.

"Jacky, I'm fine-" He mumbled groggily, his words coming to a halt for reasons I didn't quite want to imagine. For a 'fine' guy, he was puking in our sink an awful lot, or was that just me. I didn't know.

"You're quite clearly not... we were cuddling and then-" I just looked at his hunched over state in disbelief. I just couldn't quite understand how he was now puking his guts out within seconds. The world just had an awful habit of not adding up like that.

"I wouldn't say cuddling-" He defended a point with no valid reason. Alex was just stupidly stubborn like that, though. It was a quality I'd grown a rather strong love/hate relationship with.

I loved the fact that he always questioned everything and never quite let anything past him unanswered, but if you flip the coin, it can be just the most annoying quality in the whole goddamn world.

"I would, Alex. I would!" I protested; my protest had reason at the very least. Now that just sounds pretentious, but it's not like I care. Well maybe I do, maybe I do actually care a hell of a lot.

He sighed and pulled his head up, and it was clear that he really wasn't in the best of states, as he looked up at me with sorry and defeated eyes. He wasn't okay - that was clear. Getting him to admit it would be another matter entirely though.

"You're ill, Lex." I held out my hand and he took it, gripping tightly to my flustered palm as I grabbed a dishcloth and wiped his face clean of god knows what. I didn't quite want to touch his face, but this was necessary and to not would be an asshole thing to do.

"I-I'm not, I'm getting better." His voice was stern, but his voice cracked almost as if he wasn't quite sure of his words, or if he was simply lying to himself, which I severely suspected was in fact the case.

"You're not, Lex. You weren't puking yesterday." He just grimaced at me as if I was far off the point and heaved himself up onto a barstool, throwing himself back against the wall. I didn't want this mess; neither of us did - I just wanted him to be magically better, but it was evident that things simply didn't quite work that way.

"I'm better than I was yesterday - I promise." That was a complete and utter lie, but on the off chance it wasn't, I found myself in a situation to be severely concerned

"If you're like this today then how bad were you yesterday?" I cocked one eyebrow up, doubting every word that departed from those lips of his and wondering why. I shouldn't be in a situation like this, with Alex of all people. I was supposed to trust him, he was supposed to trust me; we were supposed to trust each other, but he was clearly hiding something from me.

I didn't like that at all; I didn't want to be a nosy bitch, but this was important, because with Alex secrets tended to be secret for a reason and an awfully good one at that.

"I was broken completely, Jacky." He mumbled, not quite making eye contact with me in an awfully disconcerting manner that only served to grow my concern for the boy. He was hiding something and it was something important.

"Now you're physically sick. You threw up, Alex - you should see a doctor-" My words were stern, but of course, he didn't hesitate in the matter of cutting me off at all.

"I'll be fine." He insisted as his eyes met mine for once. It was a complete and utter lie, but his eyes sold it with a concerning amount of sincerity.

"Get some rest at the very least." I was really worried about him, but there was this nagging sensation that simply none of this added up. And none of it did, leaving me in a rut of concern and heavy brain trauma.

"I'm fine-" He wasn't getting out of this one - I was making sure of that and even if it was only for stubbornness's sake, it was still a valid reason in my head.

"I'll cuddle with you." I persisted, flashing a grin at him and hoping I'd manage to entice him into resting with this. Alex was a hard one to crack, but I knew he had a soft spot for me - that just goes without saying.

"You'll get sick." He had a good point but I didn't care, because I'm a rebel like that. Illness didn't faze me if it meant more cuddles with Alex though; in that case I'd welcome it in fact.

"I don't care." I decided it best to omit the part about the endless cuddling, because Alex would get all stubborn about that.

"You should." Was he really going to be a hypocrite and bitch about my wellbeing now? Jesus Christ, this guy would really be the end of me.

"But I don't, now come on." I grabbed his hand before he could protest and soon enough he was the one dragging me into his room. Or what I assumed to be his room since I'd never seen the place. That only just occurred to me that in my two weeks of being here I'd never even set foot inside his bedroom.

His room was a great deal nicer than mine with painted walls, a mirror and an incredibly fancy bed, not to mention unlimited and unnecessary acres of floor space to do yoga or god knows what in. I kind of didn't want to think as to what someone like Alex would do within his unnecessary bedroom space, but I knew what I did in my unnecessary bedroom space and that shit was doing and I hadn't killed six people.

"You have a nice room." I noted, finding myself in a situation where I was pushing back the fact that this man, my boyfriend, had in fact killed six people. I hated thinking about it with every fibre of my being.

"Yeah, my room's alright." He shrugged it off like he hadn't chained me to the wall in the dark for days on end. I didn't like thinking about that time; things had really been different before we'd fallen in love. 

"C'mon." He tugged on my hand and interrupted my gawping at all the floor space, dragging me to the bed and pulling the covers over us. Part of me still didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable falling asleep in a bed with Alex Gaskarth, but I knew that experience was past us now... even if it had happened twice, it wouldn't be happening again.

"You focus on getting better, okay?" I looked at him behind glazed over eyes, appreciating just how soft his sheets were, and soon I'd be focusing on just how soft his skin was, because despite the fact that he'd vomited twenty minutes prior, he was still fucking adorable.

"Mmm..." He paid little attention to my words and pulled me closer to his chest so I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against mine as he breathed. I liked the feeling of him breathing against me, it gave me something to hold onto, something to remind me just how special he was.

"I'm worried about you." I said into the silence. I was almost certain he'd drifted off by now, but I was proven wrong when he responded with an incoherent mumble. "You mean a lot to me Alex. I don't want to lose you." I reassured him, rubbing circles into his back with my two fingers.

"Don't worry - you won't." He couldn't be sure, but he still he tried to comfort me with placid words and that seemed to matter more than anything. I was still unsure on the fact as to whether these 'placid' words of his were nothing but bullshit painted brightly with a different label slapped on top.

"How can you be sure?" I had ask, didn't I? I did of course run the very real and very scary risk of pissing him off and fucking everything up again but with Alex, I had to be sure. It was essential.

"Just trust me: I'd do anything for you, Jacky." I pondered over that for a few moments, wondering whether or not he really meant that, because quite honestly it scared me if things really were that way, "anything." He emphasised into the silence. Fuck, he did sound like he really did mean it.

"What's changed?" I asked, knowing I shouldn't but curiosity soon bettering me. "What's changed from when you'd chain me to a wall for days and treat me like your little sex doll?" I spat the words with a little too much venom and I think it was simply because I had really grown to hate those times.

"I fell in love with you, Jacky." I hated how he said it all too casually, because it wasn't a goddamn casual thing, it was the most meaningful three words you could ever say to someone and he was just trying them like nothing but mindless flattery. "You know that." I wasn't sure if I did anymore.

"You say it like you don't mean it." I threw my words about with little regard for his emotions and far too much for mine. But I was selfish like that and humans are allowed to be. We're allowed to be as goddamn selfish as we want because it's simply how we're made.

"I do, Jacky. I do." His words were sincere, but our eyes didn't meet, and that's when I knew he was lying. He had to be lying, of course he was lying. There was simply no other explanation in the whole goddamn world; he was just a mess, a filthy fucking liar. But I was a mess too, and somehow we clicked.

"Then look me in the eye and say it." I was getting pissed over what felt like nothing now, but this mattered to me so much more than it did to him. This mattered to me, because I had the capacity for emotions, until his redundant, cold empty shell that I had grown to both love and hate.

So he did, he met my eyes and the words tumbled out. "I love you."

"Do you or are you just a good liar?" I was taking the piss now and I knew it as a smirk rode over my lips. I couldn't help but wind him up though; it was simply within my nature and I was in love with him, I was allowed to.

"Oh shut up, Jacky." He noticed my smirk and let out a giggle, grabbing me by the hips and pushing our lips together. It wasn't a quick kiss by any means, our mouths moving in sync for several minutes, before I finally pulled away, my face laden with a devilish smirk.

"You'll infect me with your sickness by kissing me." I warned him of health risks without a care. I could be his nurse or something - I think he'd really like that. Even just for the possibility of seeing me in a nurse's outfit.

"No I think you cured me, Jacky." He whispered, playing with my hair. I couldn't help but giggle to myself, despite the blatant lies and fakery.

"That's sweet and all, but utter bullshit." I let him know that I didn’t believe a word of this. Maybe it was just to piss him off. I didn't know exactly why, but that sounded about right.

"Way to ruin the mood, huh?" He giggled, simply pulling me closer to his cheeks, his fingers refusing to leave the knotted locks of my chocolate brown hair.

"What mood? The only mood is the one you're in." That was a little harsh, but it was all in good spirit, of course, as was everything I seemed to say to him these days.

"Now that's just mean." He pulled me closer to his chest yet again and I was forced to have his respiratory system and general breathing sounds pushed right up against my ear canal. Listening to him breathe was nice, but not quite like this.

"Is it really now?" I murmured into his chest, my words resonating in a way that they almost came out like a purr. It was definitely a little more seductive than I had intended, but not a cell within either of our bodies seemed to give the slightest hint of a damn.

"Maybe I should teach you a lesson." He began to nibble on my ear and I shuddered into him a little, not expecting the gesture that was all. He wasn't going to get away with seducing me into agreeing with him.

I smirked to myself, pulling away maybe only just to piss him off. "Maybe you should get some rest." I eyed his utterly pissed off and borderline murderous expression up and down. "You look tired." I pretended to note, simply basking in the glare he sent in my direction.

"Jacky-" He began, most likely about to spur into a five hour long speech regarding sarcasm and how much of a pissy little bitch I was. Which, admittedly I was, but that didn't mean I was in anymore of a mood to hear it.

"I'll leave." I wouldn't but he seemed to believe me, which really did have its advantages. I liked twisting Alex to my own will, because despite his demeanour, influencing the guy was fucking easy as soon as you got the hang of it.

"Hmmph." He groaned, clearly irritated by my obnoxiously empty threat. He just didn't quite see the obnoxious part though.

"Fine." He turned away from me like a toddler throwing a tantrum, because the guy was immature as fuck and there really was no way whatsoever around that.

"You love me really."

"Sure about that?" I didn't answer and he didn't turn around.

-

Alex. Day Fourteen - 23:14

I was almost amazed at how quickly Jack had fallen asleep, but I left it twenty minutes just to be safe; I didn't want him discovering what I was going to, regardless if he could very little about it he'd still think differently of me and I didn't want that at all.

I got out of bed the best I could without disturbing his sleeping figure, putting the covers back into place around his sleeping form.

I regretted being so snappy to him earlier, but I kind of didn't expect him to react in that manner, but with humans, especially Jack, their emotions run wild and the thing with Jack's is that his are awfully unpredictable and it was going to end up breaking this whole world apart.

I let the door click shut behind me and hesitated a moment, thoughts running through my head regarding the effects of my next action, but I pushed them aside; the safety of my actions overthrowing Jack's emotions.

I hatched a plan as I made my way into the storage cabinet I tried to pry the smirk from my lips, but it didn't work, it didn't work at all.

I loved how casually I called it the 'storage cabinet' as if it was the pantry or something and didn't contain seventeen guns, pistols, revolvers and shotguns, drugs beyond the stash of a club dealer's and enough weapons to make airport security shit their pants. It was devilish and it made me grin like nothing other. And of course, the room also contained the essentials such as endless coils of rope, ski masks, handcuffs and the like.

Flicking the light on, I grabbed a white board marker and began to plan this whole ordeal out, because I wasn't just a killer, I was an organised one and organisation was precisely why I'd never been caught.

I scribbled the words 'the girl from work' at the top of the bottom in place of her name, which I didn't know. For god knows what reason, maybe she was trying to flirt with me, she didn't tell me. If she was trying to flirt, I'd like to inform her that she was fucking shit at it.

I was planning upon inviting her over for dinner or something and it was clear she liked me so I'd make it seem like it was a date or something, which then gave me an excuse to get closer to her. I could drug her wine - she looked tipsy enough to drink. I'd only sedate her originally, because poison would kill her off before the fun began.

I'd take her sedated body and carry it into Jack's old room and chain her up against the wall. I'd play with her life for a day or two, fussing and cutting away at her skin and life force until I'd finally end it. Maybe we'd play the knife game; I'd love to see how she fared in that field of industrial violence.

It'd be entertaining to say the least. She wouldn't be as good as Jacky, that's for certain.

The way she finally died would have to be spectacular; I'd have to put on a real show. Make this all worth our while. She wouldn't want to die simply; maybe I'd pump toxic gas into the room and watch as she suffocated- no! Hallucinogenic would be all the more interesting. I'd love to bring out the devilish part of her head and then watch as it killed her.

As the gas eventually choked her out, I'd come in and fire the final shot, before burning the body and leaving the authorities to not find it.

I'd just have to make sure she didn't have time to tell anyone she was coming on this date - make it a spur of the moment thing, make sure no one sees us leave together and that she doesn't know my name until she's in my house.

I'll ask her to help me out and work late, and leave with everyone else, saying I'd forgotten something only to come back when the building was empty to get on with a little work, before offering to take her to my place for dinner, because 'she must hungry / tired'. Now that'd work brilliantly.

Then I'd have an alibi from several people and if no one except her knew that I was staying with her then they'd suspect that the killer got in through the building once we'd all gone. It was brilliant, so fucking brilliant it make me smirk deviously.

The police didn't scare me despite the constant news reports on Jack and how they had very little about him and they were calling everyone to come forward. Jack was a brilliant target because he had no one to tell he was leaving and no one knew who I was at the party. No one even saw the two of us leave together. It was fucking brilliant and I wondered if her murder could top that.

I'd have to get her name first. I wanted her name, because I liked to be able to write it in big bold lettering a top my whiteboard and smirk stupidly at it whenever I walked past. I was an arrogant soul, but that didn't matter because my blood was pumping so fast simply from the thrill of knowing that I was going to kill again.

I think possibly the best part was that she hadn't a clue whatsoever and that she'd never see this coming and I'd bask in the look in her eyes as I drew the life from her. As she took her final breath and she struggled for one final heartbeat before the bullet nested itself deep within her flesh.

I was going to kill her and no one could stop me.

Don't Ask Me Where I've Been. You Know I Know, Yes, I've Been Told I Redefine A Sin.

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