❪ chapter seven ! ❫
vii.         franchise

RUE FIDDLED WITH THE piece of string that poked out of her shirt. Mindy walked up to everyone, "Listen up nerds, as terrifying as it is, I'm glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time." She sighed, "the way I see it, they're making a sequel to the requel?"

     Anika raised her hand, "What's a requel?" Mindy looked at her, "You're beautiful, sweetie, let's hold questions until the end."

     "Stab one took place in Woodsboro. Stab two took place in college." Sam let out.

     "Do you think the killers are trying to copy the movies?" Tara asked, looking at Mindy.

     "That's one possibility. Heros now in college; check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and or body count; check, check, and check." mindy pointed at Quinn, Anika, and Ethan.

     "I don't like this," Ethan mumbled to Rue.

     " It can't just be about stab two." Mindy told them, "Why not?" Rue asked, her brows furrowed. "It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we're not in a sequel. Because nobody just makes sequels anymore." Mindy paused, smiling at everyone.

     "Hello? Continue..." Rue let out. "We're in a franchise!" Mindy raised her arms, "and there are certain rules to a continuing franchise."

     "I had a feeling." Sam sighed.

     "Rule one: everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bugger cast, bigger body count, longer chases, shoot-outs, beheadings."

     "Beheadings?" Chad looked at his twin sister, he had a pencil and a notebook out ready to take notes. "Beheadings." Mindy smiled at him, proudly.

     "Rule two: whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiney, snowflake, film nerds with letterbox accounts instead of personalities you can bet the opposite will be true here."

     "So does that mean I might not live this time?!" Rue sat up, fixing her posture whilst being in full panic.

     "Maybe, but I don't really want to think about that." Mindy softly grabbed Rue's hand.

     "And, Rule three: No one is safe. Legacy character, cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back, only to be killed off in some bid for nostalgia. It's not looking too good for Gale and Kirby."

Mindy looked at everyone, "Ugh, that's not even the worst part."

"This is the part where she tells us the worst part." Chad didn't take his eyes off his notebook. "Really interested in the notes, huh." Rue looked at him.

     "The worst part is, franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost and IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond, I mean even Luke Skywalker all died so their franchises could live on. That means it's not just the friend group, any of us could go at any time, especially Sam and Tara."

"See, Now I'm even more worried." Rue began hitting her nails, her leg bouncing repeatedly.

"Wait, wait, any of us?" Ethan asked Mindy for reassurance. "Yeah."

"Does— am, am I in the friend group? Am I like one of the targets... Am I gonna die a virgin?"

Rue looked at Ethan, something she never expected to come out of his mouth. "I think it's best if you stay quiet." Rue placed her hand on his shoulder.

"That was a weird overshare." Mindy awkwardly smiled at him, "But it brings us to our current suspect, Ethan! Shy dorky guy, who no one suspects because he's so shy and dorky."

"Okay wait, why am I on the suspect list? Because Im randomly Chad's roommate?" Ethan had a confused look plastered on his face.

     "And because you're dating Rue," Mindy added on.

     Both Rue and Ethan looked at each other, turning back confused. "What... No, we're not dating." Rue chuckled anxiously.

     "I literally saw you guys holding hands when I went to get you guys." Chad looked Rue dead in the eye. "Okay, fine. But we have not made it official."

   "Roommate lotteries can be juked. You could have fixed it to get next to us. Plus, Never trust the love interest." Mindy defended her point.

She then walked over to Quinn, "Quinn. The slutty roommate. A horror movie classic."

"Sex positive. But thank you?" Quinn responded.

"Um, how did you come to live with Sam, Tara, and Rue?"

"I answered their ad online." Quinn looked over to Sam. "Okay, say no more you've already implicated yourself enough."

"It was anonymous, Mindy." Rue stepped in.

"And you know we vetted her. Plus her dad is a cop—" Tara defended Quinn.

     "And that makes it more likely that she's the killer because having a cop dad is great coverage. Do you not remember how these movies work Tara?!" Mindy yelled at Tara.

    "And finally," Mindy took a deep breath in, "Anika." They both blew kisses at each other, "Never trust the love interest." The smile on Anika's face faded.

     "Okay! So, we have our rules and we have our suspects." Sam spoke before being interrupted.

     "Wait, wait, what about you guys?" Ethan asked. Rue turned to him, "Why would we want to become ghost face? The five of us have already been through enough the first time."

     "Agreed!" Chad pointed his pencil at Rue.

     "Um, not agree. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or more of you to snap." Quinn interfered.

     " Yeah, or the thing you got from the killings made you thirsty for more. I mean, to be honest here some of the theories online about sam are—" Ethan tried explaining.

     "Don't you fucking dare." Tara looked at him sharply.

     Rue looked at Ethan with confusion, "Who's side are you on?"

     "Okay, she's right though. I mean let's face facts if we're all suspects you're all suspects." Anika agreed.

published ; 03.20.23
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