"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever." 

― Lauren Oliver   

   "My son needs help!" Mom told the doctor, who was going to admit me somewhere. "He's going on and on about how he's in a time loop! I think..I think he tried drugs!"

   The doctor looked at me in a curious manner. "You think he did drugs?" She adjusted her glasses. "He seems completely normal."

   "Honey, are you fine?" Mom asked me. She leaned in, searching my face. "Please tell me you're okay."

   Mom was overreacting, and I'm sure the doctor knew that as well.

   If you care to know, I did try telling Mom about my  dilemma, and for someone who was so nostalgic, and such a daydreamer...ya know, I would've thought she'd believe me. Hell was I wrong.

   "Isaac," she had said out of skepticism, "You're not serious are you?"

   "Mom, I knew you were going to cook these pancakes correctly today. I know you're going over to the hospital to take care of Grandma. I know I'm going to have to pick up Todd after school." I looked at her with a tiredness I never knew I felt. "Please, you gotta help me."

   She started to laugh. "Isaac, you're funny. But in all seriousness, what's really the matter?"

   "I am being serious," I said in annoyance. "Mom, I know what outfit Todd's wearing today. And you know he never picks out his outfit the night before. When he comes down those steps, you'll see that he's wearing: dark jeans, a red Nike tee, and a pair of Sperrys." 

   Mom rolled her eyes. "Todd!" She yelled, "Come here! Breakfast is ready!"

   "'Kay Mom!" Todd shouted from his bedroom. "Will be there in a sec! I just can't find my other shoe!"

   She looked at me. "But, you're probably just trying to pull my leg. He's probably in on this joke too."

   "He isn't!" This time I slammed my fist against the table. "Todd isn't in on anything! Damn it!"

   Now this time, Mom looked scared. "Isaac, geez! What's the matter?!"

  "I need to get out of a time loop, damn it!" I got up from the table and started to pace back and forth across the kitchen floor. "Mom, I need to save this girl from my school...she's depressed, suicidal...a-and I'm trying to help her..."

   She still looked at me with disbelief. "Isaac..."

   "I'M SERIOUS!" I yelled, and at this point I was getting really emotional. Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes, and Mom just wasn't understanding. And I wanted her to. I wanted her to understand. "WHY DON'T PEOPLE SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHEN SOMEONE IS- WHEN SOMEONE IS HAVING IT ROUGH, IT'S LIKE PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND OR SEE THAT!" I sunk to the floor. "I'm scared Ma! I'm so fucking scared..."

   Mom didn't say anything, but her face expression was of in-credulousness. Todd had come down the steps, and he looked surprised as well.

   "Mom, what's wrong with Isaac?" He asked.

   "Honey, is it okay if you walk to school this morning?" Mom said to Todd. I didn't miss the way her eyes kind of grew when she saw what Todd was clad in. "I know who'll be able to pick you up from practice..."

   "You'll ask Uncle Les," I said quietly. "You're going to ask Uncle Les to pick up Todd."

   "Lucky guess Isaac."

   "It wasn't a lucky guess!" I shook my head furiously. "I know, because I've been repeating this day over and over again!"

   Mom wasn't going to believe me. I knew she wasn't going to try and help like any non-normal person would do. She was going to continue to rationalize, and convince me that I wasn't, in fact, stuck in a time loop.

   And I ended up being absolutely correct. The next thing you know, I find myself in a psych ward. 

   Yeah, I didn't know how this could happen within a day either. It was all pretty fucked up.

   I honestly thought Mom, my own mom, would believe me; give me a chance. But maybe I came off too strong. Maybe, she was scared towards how emotional I became when trying to explain to her my dilemma. Shit, I didn't necessarily know.

:: :: ::

   The doctors told Mom that there was nothing really wrong with me. They blamed it on stress, and suggested seeing a therapist and to talk out my feelings.

   Mom still wasn't convinced. "Isaac you really scared me today, you know that right?" We were in my bedroom. She sat in the chair that was near my desk, and I laid on my bed. Mom had really disappointed me today. I wasn't really sure who to trust or believe in anymore.

  My former girlfriend and former best friend had been having a relationship behind my back. My own Mom tried to get me admitted somewhere.

   When she soon realized that I didn't want to have anything to do with her, she left the room. I sat up and grabbed my phone from the night stand. I needed to figure out where this 432 Gallagher St. was. Lawrie Odin had said it was a hint, and I needed that hint now. I was about to enter that into Google Maps...

   "So, are you not crazy?"

   I looked at my door, and saw that Todd was leaning casually against the archway.

   "Hey," I said to him, "Can you not tell Mom, that I'm leaving? I need to be somewhere."

   Todd shrugged. "Yeah, but what's in it for me?"

   "Nothing," I said simply. Google Maps had directed me to a street, I couldn't really see  a house or anything. But it gave me the street.

   Todd walked over to me. "Mom took your keys. So, how are you going to leave?"

   "Fuck."

   "Yeah dumb ass, you didn't think that much ahead." Todd took a set of keys out of his pocket. "I'll give them to you, but can you let me drive?"

   "Then what was the whole point of saying you'll give them to me?" I retorted, giving him a playful hit on the head. "But yeah you can drive."

   Normally, I would've refused him the opportunity to drive my car. But things weren't normal (yeah, Mom didn't even think I was normal), so I needed to be a cool big brother right now. Besides,  it was pretty awesome how Todd was willing to help in some way. 

   "What happened to Justice?" He asked, backing out of the drive way. Mom hadn't been anywhere in the house, and we didn't see her car in the drive way, so she must've been at the store for all we know. So, it was pretty easy leaving the house without consequence.

   "Nothing happened to her," I said nonchalantly.

   "You haven't even called her."

   I looked at him a perplexed look. "How do you even know about that?"

   "Her sister Beverly bitched about it to me at lunch," he said with an annoyed face expression. "We never really talked until today."

   Todd wasn't  a bad driver. And now that I thought about it, he was only 13 and a half. What the fuck was I doing letting him drive?

   Oh well, with Todd's effortless driving skills, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be pulled over.

   "Hey." I looked at him. "How did you learn to drive this good, especially for an eighth grader."

   He glanced at me, and shrugged. "Oh, well, y'know my friend Leyton?"

   "Yeah, that one red headed guy who sometimes comes over to the house?"

   "Yeah, well when his dad picks us up from soccer practice, he takes us near Hanson Lake, and he let's us take turns driving. And gives us some pointers, and critiques us, and all that stuff." Todd smiled when speaking about this stuff. "Last week he let me drive all the way to Dairy Queen. It was cool!"

   "Why haven't you told Mom about this. I'm sure she'd be impressed..." I trailed off, and I looked at Todd. We both said in unison, "Not ever gonna happen."

   Then we started talking about the upcoming football game, and then his upcoming soccer game. It kinda felt like old times; me and him hanging out. It's sad that we grew apart. Yet, I hope. I freakin' hope that we can get to tomorrow, and Zoey, I'll just need to talk to her, and she'd be living tomorrow. 

   Man, I forgot how fun it was hanging with Todd.

  :: :: ::  

   When Todd started to drive down the street, I tried to find a clue from Lawrie. Why did he tell me this street, but it's 432. He specifically said 432. "Look for a house that has the number 432," I said to Todd, as I eagerly looked out the window.

    I was about to give up, when I didn't find the house immediately. But I did see Zoey's familiar green van. "Stop Todd!" I said frantically, "Stop the fuckin' car!"

   It never had particularly dawned on me that 432 Gallagher Street was where Zoey lived. I never really thought to ask Zoey where she lived either. 

   "Who lives here?" Todd asked.

   "A girl...who needs help," Is all I said before getting out the car, and  walking up to the porch. 

   I pressed the door bell, and my anxiety was high. "C'mon, c'mon."

   But there was no answer. After pressing the door bell a bajillion times, I went to the car. "Do you have something I could pick a lock with?!"

   Todd gave me a heavy duty paper clip. 

   After a couple tries, I eventually heard the click and I was inside.

   Let me tell you, when I walked inside Zoey's house there wasn't really anything I expected. Maybe she'd been asleep--those were my thoughts. Or in some fortunate way, she was listening to music and she just didn't hear the lock.

   Either way, regardless, it was something unsettling about seeing her pass out right then and there, in the bathroom.

   No, I wouldn't want to tell you how she committed suicide, and there are many reasons for why she did it. 

   But just like her, I blacked out.