"But I want someone nice. I'm not just looking for someone to kiss. I want someone who wants to get to know me first. Someone who, when he does get to know me, is still nervous about that first kiss."

― Kai Micheals

   I decided to change up my look.

   This decision was so last minute, that I lost a couple dollars in the process. Tucker Leeds, this one dude whose brother, Chandler Leeds, I played football with, was nice enough to let me trade clothes with him. The reason I picked Tucker's look as my new look was because his look didn't quite match up with Lawson's; I didn't want to dress like him.

   After I walked out the bathroom, clad in an aviator jacket, a band tee, grey straight legged pants, and a pair of black old school vans, I paid Tucker--who was now clad in my blue jeans, plain white tee, and Adidas sneakers--thirty-five bucks.

   It felt weird seeing someone else in my clothes. He didn't look too comfortable either, he just kind of laughed and said, "Good luck with impressing that girl." Then he walked off.

   There weren't a lot of people in the hallway yet, and I was okay with that. I didn't want people gawking at me like I was a freaking alien or something; I hated feeling so self-conscious.

   But it was prone to happening.

   The more that people began to fill the hallway, the more looks I started to get. They were pointing at me, whispering to each other. 

   My anxiety was off the roof.

   I knew that this happening didn't have to do with my outfit (that was normal, yet different at best). It had to to do with fact that I wasn't going my usual style. And admittedly it felt weird as fuck.

    I felt like a fish out of water, like if I were an animal. It'd be be like wearing another animal's coat of fur.

    Anyway, I knew I needed to put this anxious feeling off. I didn't need to be feeling this way if I was going be saving someone's life, especially if it was saving someone's life who didn't deserve to die on their own accords. Therefore, I was going to go to Zoey's locker and I was going to grab her by the hand, no questions asked. Then everyone would be watching, and I wouldn't care.

   There were three minutes left until the bell rang for class. That meant, I was going take this time for me and her to ditch this Hell hole. And I was going to hide her phone, since I wouldn't want her dick boyfriend ruining everything like he had the first time.

   It was good if you felt anxious--at least at this moment. To me, it meant I was doing something worthwhile and meaningful. I saw Zoey putting her bag into her locker. And the more I inched my way towards her, the more I decided that what I was doing meant something. No one was near her, so I somehow felt as if I were seizing the moment in a sort of way.

   That rare feeling in my chest was beginning to go away. My heart wasn't beating as fast as it was. The stares, I could ignore, and I was doing exactly that. I didn't need anyone dictating me on how I should feel or be.

   "Hey man!" I felt someone clap their hand on my shoulder.

   I stopped.

   It was Peyton and an irritated-looking Justice. She didn't seem in the best of moods, not that I blamed her since she was so used to me doing everything for her. Like the usual, today she'd asked me to pick her up. I bluntly texted no and didn't even give her a reason. I was tired of having to give reasons on why I acted this way. It was so much wasted energy and time having to explain to people--particularly your friends--about your actions.

   I looked at Peyton. For now, I was to ignore Justice. If we were broken up, oh well.

   "What's up with the costume?" remarked Peyton, giving me a soft pound on the shoulder.

   I couldn't tell if he was playing or not. I mean, this time loop had me noticing things such as Peyton and Justice's body language when they were around one another. I couldn't explain it, but it made me feel dumb on how I hadn't noticed this before. The way they stood so close, was the final confirmation (outside of me, having had seen them at the mall that one time) that they were doing each other. Then here was Peyton, trying to act like the cool friend he was, when in actuality he wasn't a friend.

   "Are you okay, man?"

   I looked at Peyton. Me and him weren't friends, he didn't care about my well-being, he didn't give a damn that he was screwing his best friend's girl. I gave him and Justice one more look before saying, "Have fun screwing each other."

   I knew Peyton, and I knew he wouldn't let my remark go that easy. But I wasn't thinking about him, I was thinking about Zoey. I needed to get her, so we could ditch this shit hole together; get away from this toxic place.

   I then approached Zoey who was busy trying to shove her backpack into her locker.

  "Let me help," I said, seeing her current situation. With my strength, I successfully had her backpack put inside her locker.

   "Uh thanks," she said.

   "You're welcome," I stared at her. No matter how many times I repeated this day, Zoey always got prettier and prettier; her long straight brown hair, nice skin, and beautiful brown eyes was a nice picture. I wasn't surprised that she was a bit confused on why I was even talking to her. I helped her with her backpack,and now that I was standing right in front of her, this was perhaps too much to take-in.

   That right now was giving me the courage to quote my uncle's words.

   "Hi, I'm Isaac. And I've been scared to talk to you because I'm not exactly sure how to go with this. Anyway, I've noticed you, and I was wondering if you, Zoey, would like to hang out with me."

   Did I say that too loud?

   Next thing you know, the whole hallway went quiet as soon as those words escaped from my mouth. How could that be when I hadn't asked the question loudly? The look Zoey was giving me was of utter shock and more confusion.

   "Stints?!" I was aware of who the owner of that voice was. I didn't wait to hear what her boyfriend had to say. I then grabbed Zoey's hand. "What are you do-" I didn't have time to answer her question. She couldn't do this again, not after this. Not after I was showing appreciation for her by ditching school with her, and I was going to show her a damn good time.

   As I dragged Zoey with me. I could hear my teammates and "friends" voices all asking me questions, but me not caring enough right now to answer them. I didn't miss Justice's icy stare directed towards me and Zoey. I was pretty sure I saw tears streaming down her face.

   The school's exit was such a pretty sight.

:: :: ::

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

   We were miles away from school now.

   I was keeping my promise.

   Zoey was going to have a damn good time.

   I'd forgotten that the amusement park in Andersville was open. The drive wouldn't take long, since Andersville was a neighboring town to Havendust. That meant that Andersville was about a step away from Havendust.

   I told myself that I was going to answer Zoey once we were at least far away from Warner High. But I still hadn't told Zoey what was really going on. How could I tell someone that they were going to kill themselves, and that it was pretty much my assigned duty for them to make it out alive?

   Okay that sounded brutal and pitchy. Instead of the look of confusion I'd be expecting from her, it'd be replaced by a creeped-out look if those words were to escape my mouth.

   I rubbed my face with the palm of my hand, while my other hand remained on the wheel.

    Like usual, today wasn't sunny. The weather felt all right, and everything was so-far so-good, now that I got Zoey alone.

   🎶"...You want it all but you can't have it."🎶

   I almost jumped out of my seat. Where was the music coming from?

   Zoey gave me a small smile before putting her phone up to her ear.

   So the music was coming from her phone...

   Her phone?! I made the car swerve a little.

   Zoey grabbed the handle.

   "...Yeah. No, I don't know."

   She was talking to Lawson, wasn't she? I didn't need to become possessive of her or anything. It wouldn't be fair, and she was clearly freaked out by all this. I knew she was. A guy she never really talked to, but always saw in the hallway, was talking to her and making her ditch school with him all of a sudden. However, I couldn't let her boyfriend screw this up again.

   "Lawson, you don't understand..he just..uh, he just had me come with him..all of a sudden. I don't know..." She stopped talking for a moment and looked at me.

   "... I can do what I wanna do. I don't care, you didn't tell me that this morning when I'd texted you a hundred ti—no I didn't? Lawson I texted you before I went to bed, then right when I woke up and right before school . You didn't text me ba-"

   I couldn't hear this anymore. It pissed me off how all of a sudden, he'd be all alpha-mode on Zoey, when really, he was only doing this because I so happened to be taking some kind of interest in his girlfriend who he'd been ignoring 'til now.

   I grabbed the phone from Zoey.

   "What are you doing?" she whispered.

   I put her phone to my ear.

   He was still talking.

   "But I'm your boyfriend Zoey. Besides he's only taking you somewhere, so he can screw yo-"

   "Listen here shitface," I interrupted the jackass. From the corner of my eye I saw Zoey cover her mouth. I continued. "You can back the fuck off, because it seems to me you haven't been taking any interest in your girlfriend until you saw that I happened to see something in her..."

   She can do whatever the hell she wants without you calling her out of the blue. I heard she doesn't do the same to you. To me, she actually cares for and worries about you. So listen here shit face, back the fuck off. Your girlfriend's gonna be having fun time with me. We're gonna have a fun time. She's gonna have a fun time, and I'm gonna make sure if it."

   He tried interrupting me, but that didn't stop me.

   "So you have fun with your wannabe groupies and entourage. Because, right now Zoey is gonna have a damn good time. And with me.

   "I'm gonna fuck you up, you jac-"

   I then pressed the red phone icon and handed the phone back to Zoey, who seemed taken back. "You... You... I can't believe you," she said shaking her head. At first I thought she was pissed at me, but when her mouth spread into a huge grin, I knew that wasn't the case.

:: :: :: 

   "That's gonna be 40 bucks," said the ticket holder. It was a frumpy old man who had cigarette breath and yellow teeth.

   Zoey looked at me. "No, you can't pay for all this. I should have a twenty some-"

   I handed the ticket holder two 20 dollar bills.

   Zoey pursed her lips at me. She looked cute when she did that.

   "I could've paid for that."

   I shook my head.

   No she couldn't have, because I wouldn't have let her. "But I paid for it," I said, a snide smile dripping from my lips.

   Zoey gave me a small smile.

   We searched for rides that seemed fun to ride. We both decided to eat last, since no one wouldn't happen to throw their guts out on the ride.

   There looked to be barely anyone at the amusement park, except old people, a few college students, and some high schoolers like me and Zoey, who were ditching school to come here.

   No one looked familiar. Everyone looked like they went to Wayward, or other districts.

   "Ooh whatabout that!" Zoey nudged me on the arm and made me turn my attention to the ride she was pointing at.

   It was a roller coaster. But it looked really moderate and not too scary; my stomach most-likely wouldn't drop once the little car went down the track. But it's not like I'd be scared if I rode on one of the scary ones. At this place I heard it was called the Hill Roller.

   We went on many rides that day, and as corny as it may effing be, I even won her a stuffed bear. Zoey had bashfully taken it from me, and murmured a "thank you."

   We even took a photo at a photo booth. We put on silly face expressions, bored face expressions, and then on the last take we just smiled, and I felt Zoey put her head on my arm. I looked at her and thought again, why at this moment, could she think to take her life once she got home--or ever?

   Getting close to closing time at the park, Zoey decided for our last ride to be the Ferris wheel.

   Once we got on the observational wheel, and we were in a car, I realized then, that it'd gotten pretty dark and the whole fair was lit up. Zoey must've noticed too, because her face lit up all of a sudden, squeezing the teddy bear she held. "Wow," She said in a whisper.

   We didn't say anything for a minute. Taking everything as the wheel turned.

   "Isaac?"

   I looked at Zoey, with a bit of earnestness. "Yeah?"

   "If you don't talk to me tomorrow, I- I understand." She didn't give me eye contact. "But I really needed this. Thank you."

   I didn't say anything at first. She seriously didn't think that I wasn't going to talk to her tomorrow? But the thing was, I didn't blame her for thinking such a thing. I didn't trust myself so much to think that I, Isaac Stints, after completing this quest, would start talking to her. 

   After Lawrie Odin would have me move on, and continue on with life, would I want to be Zoey's friend? Would I want to be caught dead with her?

   Completely understandable on why she and I both underestimated me--myself.

   "I don't mean to make you seem at fault here Isaac, but I knew guys like you in high school. They made people like me and Zoey seem inferior. Just be yourself, and earnest. Make her feel like they great person she actually is."

   I chose my words carefully. "Zoey, I'm not going to do that. Really, I would think that you wouldn't speak to me tomorrow."

   She looked surprised. "Why would I do that? Do I really seem like that kind of person?"

   No.

   Really, she looked like a person who cherished a relationship. She didn't reject me today; she had immediately jumped into the unknown with me. No questions asked.

   I shook my head. "Nah. You're really nice. And thanks for spending today with me."

   "No problem." She touched my hand, and I felt a shock. "I wish things could be different, though. I wish there wasn't high school. I wish I knew what my life would be like in years to come. When is it all over Isaac?"

   I hope this wasn't some vague way of her alluding to the suicidal thoughts she may have been having, or still having.

   "It isn't over yet, Zoey. But we gotta still live and hold on," I replied, trying my best at coaxing her to live on. "Will you do that for me? Hold on?"

   Zoey gave me a confused look, and she stopped touching my hand; the warm feeling went away. "I barely know you Isaac. And you might just be using me. And what makes you think I can promise you anything?"

   She closed her eyes just then because she realized that she had revealed more to me than she knew.

   All along had she planned suicide? Is that it?

   "I'm, I'm sorry, Isaac. I just can't go to school tomorrow..." She smiled nervously at me. "I don't know what to do. I feel so confused, and alone..."

   We were at the top of the Ferris wheel. And the fair looked even more nice. I looked at Zoey, who seemed to be less happy than she was when we first got on the ride. "Zoey, you're not alone. Let's make a deal, if you come to school tomorrow, wait- but we might be suspended, eh. If you come to school I'll take you out to lunch. 'Kay?"

   She smiled, and laughed. "Isaac, you're not serious."

   "I am, Zoey. Trust me, I am."

:: :: ::

   Today went good.

   It'd been refreshing and fun. I liked the times, such as when we happened to be on the scariest of rides, and when I had reassured Zoey that everything was going to be okay. If only she could read between my words. I wanted to reassure her that everything was going to get better, that she didn't have to stoop to suicide.

   I stopped in front of her house.

   Though it was dark, I could make out the outline of her face. We were facing each other.

   "That roller coaster was scary, wasn't it?" she said.

   I laughed and shrugged. "It was all right."

   She nudged me. "Hey, but you screamed just as loud as I did. And you kept on saying you were going to throw up."

   I smirked. "Yeah, yeah, and so what if I did?"

   "It's okay. Besides, I can't say I wasn't scared." She looked out at the yard, and then looked at me. "Well, thanks for taking me out. But my mom isn't going to be happy. I'm sure the school called her."

   "Don't worry about it," I said, giving her an earnest look. "I'll handle it. 'Cause I'm pretty sure my mom's gonna be pissed too."

   She gave me a smile that let me know she was at ease.

   And we then just stared at each other.

   I didn't know how to state this, but something in me was starting to change, or I was starting to feel something I'd never felt before.

   Was it the fact that Zoey Graves was giving me a purpose? Or was it because in this moment I felt great? Like, life was more meaningful.

   I knew right then and there that I was going to kiss her.