They don't know if it was some sign from god or just a huge miracle because at that moment,they were losing hope every single second that passed. It was the most stressful time of their life.

Sitting inside a hospital at 4 am is not something anyone wants to go through,especially when the person you love the most is inside just a step away from death. 

Jeongguk tapped his foot nervously on the hospital floor,tears streaming down his face. He can't believe this. He is having a hard time accepting the reality. He talked to Taehyung like just some hours before all this happened,he sounded totally okay just what triggered him,he is having time trouble understanding.

Jimin who was sitting next to him,awfully quiet. He looked shocked and horrified by this whole situation. He just couldn't believe...he was experiencing this again. 

"Fuck,I am so fucking scared Hyung. W-why did he do this? What happened? he was okay the last time I talked to him" Jeongguk said,trying to block the voices in his mind that are feeling his mind with negative thoughts.

"I think I know what caused it...but I don't want to accept it,I thought he was better,I thought he moved on...I feel fucking useless" Jimin said,more mad at himself than anyone else.

"What do you mean? don't tell me...was it because of him?"

"Seungho..I think so" Jimin spoke up.

"Why the f-"

"Are you two gentlemen with Mr. Kim Taehyung?" Jeongguk was cut off by a man,who was the doctor. Jimin nodded immediately as they both stood up facing the doctor.

"So,the patient was in a very critical situation when he came in,A lot of blood was lost,thanks to the piece of cloth that was around his wrist that no more blood than that was lost or...it would have been almost impossible to save him. You guys shouldn't worry,it was a miracle he is alive right now,a second late and we would have unfortunately lost it" doctor said looking at the two young man who let out a sigh of relief. Those words meant the world to them.

"The cut wasn't too deep so maybe the person was too intoxicated,Thankfully that saved him. We have stitched up the cut so it's all good. Patient isn't awake yet,it might take a few days for him to become conscious since the loss of blood made everything worse but he is out of danger and that's what matters" Doctor smiled at them,giving them assurance Taehyung isn't in danger anymore. 

"Can we see him?" Jeongguk asked.

"Yeah,just let us clean his cut up bit and disinfect it. It will take some minutes then you can meet him even though he is unconscious. Though I have the meaning to ask...has the patient ever self harmed himself before too? because the way his body responded it felt like he had been through this before too" the doctor asked them. 

Jeongguk's eyes widened in shock because he had no idea,he thought it would be because of his dangerous job and he must be used to getting injured. That was until Jimin answered since he knows him the best.

"Yes,It was almost like..a year ago"  Jimin spoke up,making the younger look at him in shock. Making him realise,he really doesn't know anything about the older and that is not sitting well with him.

"Hm,I suggest therapy because the fact this is the second attempt doesn't mean there can't be more so I highly suggest it. Therefore,I'll just go and check him up so you guys can meet. Meanwhile, can one of you fill the hospital form?" He asked them and Jimin volunteered to do it. 

Once the doctor walked back inside the room Taehyung was in both of them sat down. Jeongguk was still recovering from shock.

"He...has done this before too?" Jeongguk asked him. Jimin nodded slightly.

"Yeah,when Seungho died,Taehyung was in a very dark place. He was Taehyung's first love and I have never seen him that smitten with someone so when Seungho died...Taehyung couldn't handle it" 

"No No wait,I remember when you told me what he did at the beach,was there...more attempts than that?" Jeongguk asked him again.

"Yes..Jeongguk, just one more where he did what he did today. It was just as bad,I thought he was never going to do it again because.. he promised me. Fuck,I can't this shit hurts so much. That's one of the main reasons why I always stick next to him so he can be distracted and just not think about seungho,so I can stop him if he tries to end himself again. This fucking mission ruined my life"

"But I was home,I should have been there for him,I shouldn't have left him alone" Jeongguk  was blaming himself and Jimin immediately stopped him.

"No,No this isn't your fault Jeongguk. None of this is. You are not obligated to look after him,You don't have to do anything,you are just at the wrong place at the wrong time. You shouldn't live with this guilt, it's not your responsibility" Jimin tried to convince him but it didn't look like it was working. He already blames himself,he can't let Jeongguk do that too.

"But I love him.." Jeongguk mumbled. Jimin immediately catched that as his eyes widened in shock.

"What…Are you serious?" Jimin asked him,he knew the younger liked Taehyung but love??? was not what he expected.

"Yeah,I saw my life flash before my eyes when I saw him in the pile of blood. I don't think I have ever felt this broken,not when my dad left me,not when my mother stopped paying attention,not even when I left my first love. This is all too scary to me" Jeongguk claimed,He sat down as he felt weak. He felt emotional and he was a second away from crying. 

Jimin's gaze softened and he quickly took younger people in his arms,engulfing him in a hug. He rubbed his back trying to comfort the boy who was another victim of love.

"It's okay Shh it's okay. You know Jeongguk, I like you so much for Taehyung. I have seen you two,Taehyung might be blind to not see the connection between you two but I see it. I want you to be around Taehyung because i trust you and I know if there's anyone who can make Taehyung move on for good it's you" He tried to encourage the younger man.

"How can I do that when Taehyung pushes me away every chance he gets. He doesn't tell me anything about him at all or ,I try so hard yet he doesn't even let me in." Jeongguk replied,totally hopeless.

"Try harder,I know it's hypocritical of me. Jeongguk, I have seen him smile more since you came than ever. He never looked this happy with anyone before but you just changed his whole world and don't tell him I said this but he told me himself how much you coming had changed him that he is scared. He is scared of everything that happened to him when he last fell inlove to happen again and I want you to prove him wrong,tell him you won't go anywhere" 

"Thank you so much. Honestly at this point I really lost any hopes but I will try harder,thank you for believing in me. Even though he might not fall inlove with me but I will make sure he  moves on,I would do that even if I have to give my life for it"

"Love the determination but please give yourself some importance too. You deserve love too" Jimin rubbed his shoulders as encouragement and Jeongguk just smiled.

"Guys!! fuck I'm finally here,how is he? where is he???" They heard someone say,they turned around and saw another familiar person. Two familiar people actually.

"Hobi hyung and Yoongi??? What are you doing here?" Jimin asked when he saw yoongi  who should be at base right now.

"you are not the only one who sneaked out,I was with Hoseok when we got the call of you crying hysterically. Fuck,Jimin hoseok was crying the whole way how is Taehyung?" Yoongi questioned him.

"Sorry I must have scared you guys,nothing to worry about thankfully. We got there on time and he is okay now. Doctor is cleaning him up and then we can meet him. He is still unconscious but he will wake up in a few days" Jimin explained the situation to them.

He saw both of them take a deep breath,thanking God their friend was okay. Yoongi might look sad but Hoseok was looking absolutely smashed. His hair was a mess and his cheeks were wet because of crying the whole way.

"What e-even happened?" Hoseok managed to ask. Jimin looked at Jeongguk so he can explain.

"I came back from my friends house and Jimin came to take his things. When we entered the house we saw his shoes and I remember how he went drinking with you so I went to check up on him,didn't see him in his room and went to the bathroom. There I saw him,In the bathtub with his wrist dripping blood and a knife in his other hand. We quickly took him to hospital before it's too late" Jeongguk explained.

"God it was so bad Hobi,it was just like before but this time there was more blood. He cut himself again,it was like a nightmare I still haven't woken up from. We don't know what made him try to harm himself again but I think he did it because of seungho again" Jimin explained more about the situation,he heard a sob coming from Hoseok with Yoongi rubbing his back.

"It's all my fault" Hoseok said.

"what?" Jeongguk spoke up this time.

"When we were drinking,I brought up the subject of Seungho and I talked about how much I miss him and how I think he should visit him soon. I didn't know I would trigger him into doing that,I just wanted him to visit his grave so he can find some closure and move on but Taehyung didn't take it well and just stormed out of my place" Hoseok explained his side of the story. Jeongguk sighed in disappointment as he looked away.

"It's not your fault,babe. You didn't knew it would lead up to this" Yoongi tried to comfort his boyfriend but it wasn't working.

"Yes it is,I should have followed him,I should have stopped him. God,if you and Jeongguk never came home then who knows we might have lost him forever and it would have all been my fault" Hoseok was just feeling more guilty than ever. He has never felt this shitty.

"No hyung,it wasn't your fault ,stop pushing yourself. You didn't know this would happen but you really shouldn't have talked about him,you know how sensitive he gets when it comes to Seungho" Jimin said.

Jeongguk felt like the shittiest person ever. Seungho,Seungho,Seungho. He was tired of hearing this name while he knew nothing about him. It hurts him because he feels left out and he feels jealous of this person who Taehyung loves so much he is ready to give his life to him. Seungho is a just a faceless person in his mind who was Taehyung's first love. There's nothing else he knows and it's not a good feeling.

"I will go fill out the hospital form you guys talk"  Jeongguk stood up from the seats and walked away,not sparing them another look.

All of them noticed the change of atmosphere as a worried look was on all of their faces. 

"what is up with him? Who is he? is he the boy you and Taehyung live with" Yoongi asked.

"Yes,his name is Jeongguk. He hasn't been doing well at all. He was the first person to find Taehyung there; he is traumatised and very heart broken" Jimin told him.

"No wonder he looks so burnt out" 

"Yeah it has been a long night. It must have been so hard for him too especially. Seeing the person you love lying lifelessly in a bathtub,at the brink of death,all because of a lover Taehyung failed to move on from" He said to them as the moment where they found just kept on being recalled in his mind. Seeing the younger man crying so hard with a lifeless Taehyung in his arms.

"Wait, love?" Hoseok questioned in surprise.

"Yeah,I accidentally said that it's not my place but oh well,he just confessed and I don't think Taehyung knows at all. He is so in deep I feel so bad for him. We failed as best friends,didn't we? We had one job and we couldn't even fulfill that. You think Seungho is mad at us right now?" Jimin asked,letting out  a laugh trying to lighten the mood.

"I have no idea, most probably because I know Seungho would never want Taehyung to live his life like how he is right now. So defeated and unmotivated" Hoseok replied to him.

"You guys need to stop having so many negative thoughts. You guys are the best friends anyone could ask for. I know Seungho is fucking proud of you guys for still being with Taehyung in this hard moment. Let's stop regretting and move forward. We should be happy about the fact that Taehyung is okay right,no buts or what if. Taehyung is alive so both of you,stop crying and cheer up because when he wakes up I don't think he wants to see you guys this sad over him,it will just hurt him" Yoongi gave them a pep talk that they needed right now.

Jimin chuckled and nodded,wiping his tears while Yoongi wiped Hoseok tears.  Hoseok immediately hugged his boyfriend.

"Thank you for being here with me. I don't know how I would have lived with this guilt if it wasn't for you. You are right no more regretting or looking back. I would be better and be the best version of myself,if we want Taehyung to move on we should start with ourselves"

"You are right. Lord, now that I realise what will we do, Yoongi hyung? it's almost 5am,everyone must be waking up soon" He asked about the rival gang they are in right now.

"Don't worry,Jimin. I texted some members and told them I went on a mission and I took you with me. We won't be back until tomorrow so you can stay here as long as you want."

"thank you hyung,thank God i don't have to go back. I don't know how you do it Yoongi but that place is so suffocating I can't wait to come back." Jimin exclaimed. 

"Yeah,I am used to it. Enough about that,you should take Jeongguk and you both should go and sleep,take a shower and then come back because you guys have been here for hours and I saw how bloody Jeongguk's shirt was so please go,me and Hobi will stay here for few more hours until you guys come back" Yoongi told him to get fresh and then come back.

"but-"

"No buts,jiminie. Please let us stay,it will help me feel less guilty. Take Jeongguk with you too,I know he's stubborn but convince him,tell him even if Taehyung moves an inch we will call you guys immediately" Hoseok said to him, cutting off jimin. Jimin chuckled and nodded.

"Ok,hyung. I don't think we both will be able to sleep but once we get changed and stuff we will come back,I can't stay away for too long"

"Ok,go now already"

"Bye,hyungs. See you after an hour or two"

First thing Jeongguk did when he got home was take a cold shower. He needed that so bad after everything he went through today. He wanted to feel numb to all the pain he felt,his years that were dried on his cheeks washing away. Standing there for a full 10 minutes without moving at all,watching the water flow down his body.

He wanted to scream,shout and cry. He didn't know where to start,his emotions were going haywire. Jeongguk thinks he has gone insane. All over a boy,it's insane the effect that Taehyung has on Jeongguk. 

One sided love hurts like shit. He doesn't know what to do,he likes Taehyung too much,moving on is not possible and the fact that Taehyung did this partially because of his past lover makes it hurt more but he understands. He also won't be able to live if something had happened to Taehyung tonight,He doesn't think he ever wants to see the older man actually die in his lifetime.

That's something he doesn't want to experience ever,it's too painful to even imagine. He almost went through it tonight and look at him,he has gone crazy. Numb,he just wants to feel numb. 

Once he was done with this shower,he quickly changed,wearing his briefs then putting on sweatpants and sweatshirt. He wants to be comfortable since he knows he probably won't leave Taehyung's side at all the whole day. He will stay there until he wakes up. 

His head was pounding like a bitch and he isn't even surprised. After all the stress he took today he is surprised he isn't on a hospital bed because of all the frustration he felt today.

"Jimin hyung? Do you got medicine for the headache,my head is killing me" Jeongguk asked the boy who was sitting on his bed looking at his palms.

Jimin looked up and stood up. "Yeah,wait I got some here" Jeongguk noticed the shift in his tone,has he been crying? He isn't as close with Jimin as he is with Taehyung but he still respects him alot and considers him a friend.

"Hyung,are you okay?" Jeongguk asked him. Jimin froze for a second and then nodded. He took a few tablets out and gave them to Jeongguk.

"Yeah it's just this whole situation made me very emotional and all the pent up sadness took over so I just cried for awhile,halfway it turned happy crying because I didn't lose him so thank god for that." Jimin chuckled looking at the younger man who was listening to him attentively. he continued 

"Taehyung might have only suffered through Seungho's death but I have to suffer through Seungho's death and his attempts,it has been so fucking hard and I just feel hopeless as the doctor said too,if there have already been 3 attempts there could be more too and that scares me so much" Jimin put his hands on his face in frustration as even the thought gave him goosebumps.

"That won't happen hyung. I won't let the events that took place today happen ever again. That's my promise to you" Jeongguk put his hands on his shoulder,looking at him with a serious expression. 

"Promises are never fulfilled Jeongguk but I will trust you...please bring back my old best friend" Jimin said to him. 

"I would,I would" 

Three days,it took three whole days for Taehyung to wake up. Jeongguk was sitting on the couch when jimin came from his gang missions,he comes almost every day for an hour so they can go and visit unconscious Taehyung.

 they were going to head out to the hospital in 10 minutes when they got a call from hoseok. 

Hobi hyung

Accept | Decline 

"Hello?"

"Jeongguk!!! come over quickly" 

"Why? is everything okay?"

"Yes,more than okay. Taehyung woke up,he woke up around 30 minutes ago I was too happy that I forgot to inform you guys so come quickly"

"Oh my god,we will be there in 10, wait for us,goodbye"

"bye~" with that Jeongguk immediately hung up the phone.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" Jimin asked him when he saw Jeongguk getting up immediately and put his things inside his pocket.

"Yes,get up we are going to hospital, Taehyung woke up,Hyung" Jeongguk answered with a huge grin on his face. Jimin jumped out of the couch in happiness.

He didn't have to say another word as the two boys were sprinting out of the apartment building to their car. They couldn't wait to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

After around 15 minutes drive,the hospital was close but because of the traffic it took them extra 5 minutes,they finally reached their destination. Both of them were too excited to even care. 

Making their way to Taehyung's hospital room. Jimin burst open the door to see a very much awake Taehyung,sitting on his bed with a neutral expression. Hoseok was right there sitting close to his bed. He stood up when he saw the two boys enter in.

Jeongguk made eye contact with Taehyung the second he entered the room. Euphoria filled his body the second their eyes met. He never felt this relieved in his whole life. A soft smile making its way to both of their lips by just the sight of each other.

This is one of the reasons why Jeongguk is so inlove with this guy. One second he is thinking about moving on but the second they meet again it's like they are in their own world.

"Ah,my saviours are here" Taehyung said and just the sound of his deep voice made both of their hearts jump from happiness.

Jeongguk and Jimin ran towards Taehyung and immediately hugged him,both on one side. Taehyung smiled,feeling guilty of his actions,trying hard not to cry. He felt Jimin's tears fell on his shoulder as his grip tightened around him.

"You scared us so much" Jimin said to him,quickly wiping his tears before they could see him crying. They both pulled away from the hug.

"I know,I'm sorry" Taehyung told them,a weak smile on his face.

"Well guys,I will go now,I know you guys got alot to talk about so I will come by later. See you later,take care Taehyungie" Hoseok walked towards the boy and kissed his head. Bidding farewells with all of them as he left the room.

The silence took over once Hoseok left. Alot of questions yet zero answer. Don't know where and how to start the conversation.

"How are you feeling? does anything hurt?" Jimin asked,worried at how many bandages were all around his wrist and a drip for IV. 

"No,I just feel burned out. Honestly I was so shocked when i opened my eyes,I for a second thought I was in heaven but it was just the white depressing walls of this hospital" Taehyung chuckled,looking at sad faces of his friends.

"Hoseok hyung told me that you both found me. I am sorry,I am so sorry you guys had to see me in that state. I know it must have hurt a lot and I'm sorry to put that trauma on you guys" Taehyung apologised for his actions.

"If you know how it feels then why would you do it...why would you put us through that??" Jimin asked him with a worried look. Taehyung looked down in his lap.

"I just...couldn't take it anymore. It's hard,you guys are so strong for moving on but I can't,everywhere I go I see him,it's too hard...life is too hard without him. I am sorry,I am sorry" Taehyung burst into tears again. Jeongguk's eyes widened when he saw his hyung breakdown again.

Hiding his face in his palms as the other two looked in shock. Jeongguk immediately got up from the seat and walked over to Taehyung. Taking a seat on the bed as he embraced Taehyung into his arms. Pulling him closer as he started to rub his back.

"Shh,it's okay. You can cry,it's hard. I know life is hard and love is the most twisted curse. You shouldn't be the one apologising,we should be the one who should apologise to you" Jeongguk spoke up,pulling Taehyung close to him.

"Telling you to move on when it's so hard. I was once in love too,It was the best and worst feeling I have ever felt. It took me so much time to move on from that man even though he was a bitch and in this case,Seungho...sounds amazing,I don't blame you at all for still being stuck. It's not your fault that your heart doesn't listen to Taehyung,you shouldn't be beating yourself up about that" Jeongguk tried to comfort him with his words.

He glanced at Jimin who was also silently crying,not making eye contact with anyone with his head down on his lap. 

"But hyungie,do you think it's fair? do you think Seungho...would want you to live like this? everyday in misery because you can't live without him. I don't think he would like to see the person he loved in this much stress because of him.hyung,look at me" Jeongguk grabbed his face and made him face him eye to eye.

"What about us,hyung? Do you think once you are gone we would be able to live without you? your happiness is our happiness just like that seeing you sad makes us sad. Hyung,Lean on us,Stop going through hell all alone. Ask us for help with your problems. Let us play our part as your friend and help you get better" Jeongguk kissed his forehead and gave the older man a cute smile.

"I don't know if I can. I don't have the energy to fight back anymore. Every day is the same as before. I don't know if I want to live the rest of my life like this" Taehyung told them. Jeongguk looked at him with uncertainty.

"Let me be the change. Let me in your life and in your heart Taehyung. You have those huge barriers around you,I want you to put them down and let me in. Taehyung,I...went through hell these last 3 days you weren't here. I thought this is it,I won't ever see you again and that made me,have panic attacks because I regretted not spending enough time with you, not taking you to places I want to go with you,Not saying the things I want to say to you sooner" Jeongguk said to him.

"Seeing you alive was the most beautiful moment of my life because it made me realise I got the time I desperately prayed for in the last 3 days. So that's why I want you to give me a chance. Please let me make the rest of your life worth it..You are not alone,I will always be with you and that's my promise to you" Younger grabbed him by his neck and pulled their foreheads together. The older man had his eyes closed,taking all that in.

"Ok,I will try but I can't promise anything. I don't want you to have high expectations for me" Taehyung gave in,Ready to try...one last time.

He saw how Jeongguk's facial expressions changed and it looked like he won a lottery. "Thank you,thank you so much,I won't make you regret this decision" 

"Fuck,that was emotional. You two are making me cry. I am happy but jealous at same time. When will someone care for me this much?" Jimin asked,looking at the two who had stupid grin on their face.

"I do?" Taehyung  said.

"I meant romantically" 

"We are not- whatever" Taehyung just looked away,his cheeks definitely in a more red shade by now. 

Jeongguk's gaze went towards his lover who was just blushing like crazy. He chuckled softly at his reaction. Taehyung made eye contact with Jeongguk and his brows turned in confusion. "What?"

"you are so beautiful and precious." Jeongguk's eyes went down to his soft lips. Taehyung scoffed.

"you wanna kiss me so bad,it makes you look stupid" Taehyung said to him. 

"and what about it?" Jeongguk challenged him. The sexual tension was too much in this room.

"Ok you guys are getting nasty now. I am hungry,tae did you eat something?" Jimin asked him and Taehyung shook his head,making him ask him why not.

"The hospital food sucks so i just said no"

"Tae,you need some real food in your body,you haven't eaten anything in 3 days. Whatever,I will leave you two alone and get us some food. Don't do anything weird while I'm gone,I will be back in a few minutes" Jimin got up from his seat and also kissed the forehead just like hoseok. Jeongguk guessed it's just their group thing.

Once the blonde boy walked out of the room,Jeongguk once again looked at Taehyung who was surprisingly already looking at him. "What now?"

"My kiss?" Jeongguk asked shamelessly. Taehyung rolled his eyes but who was he to deny?

So he pulled the younger man in and soon enough their lips were pressed against each other into a soft kiss.This way they were kissing their way to a new fresh start.

✤----------------------------------------------✤
Ik seungho has been so involved yet u guys barely know anything about him. I will make a whole chapter about him and his history with Taehyung so be patient 💜  Also I'm so sorry because of how Taehyung's is in hospital like every two chapters 😭 he's not going back any sooner do don't worry. This was going to be longer but I got lazy.
Hope y'all liked it 
love yall
-K