Summer of 2009

Standing outside of Haven Rehabilitation wasn't how Claire Raymond pictured spending the beginning of her summer before senior year. She had many practices scheduled, and summer vacations. She looked forward to the annual beach trip, and this year, they would be celebrated as the seniors. Claire knew she would receive an invitation to every summer event, and having been voted as Top Ten Senior, she knew it was already going to be her best year yet. Though, ever since her parents told her about her older sister, Mia's, decision to stay at the after-care housing, she  knew she needed to visit. Whether to talk her into coming back home she didn't know.. maybe Claire just needed to see her sister after 90 days of drug rehab. 90 days after she told her parents how she found her older sister passed out from whatever drug she found, only days before her high school graduation. Claire knew Mia blamed her for not being allowed to walk with her classmates. Mia's new reputation of a the first of the Raymonds to ever travel down a dark path. Their parents covered it up well, only few even knew the truth why Mia never showed on graduation day.

"Claire Raymond, you may see your sister." a nurse called from behind the marble desk. Claire rose from her seat, making way for the doors. "Down the hall to the right, she is on the porch." She thanked the lady, and waited to be buzzed in. The housing wasn't at all what she expected. it was so serene, painted a faint color of blue, with the scent of lavender in the air. Claire walked past several rooms. A smaller room contained books and comfy chairs, while one room had a few residents playing chess, and dancing to music. When Claire reached the porch, she noticed her sister sitting on the white swing, she had cut off her flowing auburn hair. The one thing the two sisters shared in common. She walked quietly onto the porch, and settled into the rocking chair. she noticed how much older her sister looked with her new hair, yet, she hadn't seen her sister this much at peace in years. She hardly recognized her, and Claire felt a sting of guilt for never noticing how troubled her sister truly had been.

"You can stop looking at me that way." Mia says, her attention still on the flowers blowing in the wind.

"I wasn't.. that's not what I was.." Claire stuttered over her words. She didn't know what to make of her own thoughts. "I just wanted to see you. They told me you decided to stay at the Haven." Mia turns her attention to Claire. "Why not just come home Mia? You're clean now, its safe, no one knows where you have been. just.. just come home."

"And to what Claire? The same things and the same people that drove me here in the first place?"

"No, it can be different. We can do this together." Claire pleads.

Mia laughs, "Oh we can? And what do you know about struggling? You have everything you ever wanted. And with me gone, you have no distraction. You can now carry on the Raymond name without me interfering with your perfect world."

"That's not true Mia, you are my sister. Regardless of what people may think, you can come back and show them you are better now.. you can find a college somewhere, start over new."

"I don't need your sympathy, Claire, and I don't need your help." Claire could no longer fight back the tears. She had no idea her sister felt that way, though, when had she taken the time to care?

"Oh please, You are dads all-star athlete, and moms straight A student. The child who can get a full scholarship to any school in the country. The girl who walks the halls of Brook Hills with her perfect group of her perfect friends, in her own perfect little universe, never knowing how it feels to live in the shadows." there was that word again, perfect. Is that the life Claire strived for? Was she so blind to the troubles in her own life, because it didn't fit into the perfect situation?

"That's what you think? That you lived in the shadows?" she ask her sister as she walked
from the swing, to the porch edge.

"I have. Ever since you were born. You were much smarter than I was. You know as well as I do that every sport we played together you were always stronger."

"It wasn't a competition, Mia."

"It was always a competition to you. And the one thing, one thing I thought I could have that was just mine, and couldn't even let me have that." Mia wraps her arms around herself as a cool breeze blows. Claire couldn't help but glance at the scar on Mia's ankle. She knew what her sister had meant by that statement. The one thing was Ballet. And Claire ruined it for her. All she wanted was to be like her older sister, and she wanted to do everything together. Yes, in the end, Claire always seemed to have a leg up on Mia, except in Ballet. Mia was given her pointe shoes, and excelled to top in the class. On the night of their Showcase, Claire wanted so badly to be like Mia, that she put her shoes on and danced around. But, Claire was untrained, and broke the shank in the bottom of the shoe. Young Claire didn't want to be in trouble, so she just tossed the shoes back into Mia's bag before anyone would notice. That night, Mia was within in moments of her solo when her shoe snapped upon landing her jete, and sadly, shattered Mia's ankle. Her sister went through a series of reconstruction surgeries, and fell behind on her training.

Now as Claire reflected back, that was when her relationship with her sister became stagnant. All those years Claire kept that secret deep inside, until she finally ignored it enough it went away. And yet, her sister, knew the entire time of what Claire had done.

"Im so sorry, Mia. I never wanted this to happen." she says, choking on her words. "I just want my sister again"

"I like it here, Claire. I can just be me. No pressures for perfection of the Raymond name." Mia walks closer to her sister. " And one day you'll grow tired of the persona, too. And for your sake I hope its soon, because this world is going to break you," Mia leans down and plants a kiss on Claire's forehead. "You cant keep hiding from failure, and the disapointments in this life, because when it happens, it going to ruin you. Learn to find yourself, little sister." Mia walks down the porch stairs and into the garden of flowers, never looking back.

Tears rolled down Claire's cheeks as she shut the screen door behind her, and turns to leave her sister in her new home.

"Miss Claire," a lady called, "might I have a word with you?"

Claire uses her shirt sleeve to wipe away any traces of tears. "Dr. Mani"

"Mia is doing well here." Dr. Mani comforted Claire. "She likes to play us a tune on the piano in the evenings, and she has even be teaching some of the residents how to read music.."

"I never knew she played. She never mentioned it. though, I can't blame her." Claire words trail off.

"Claire, this wont last forever. You cant blame yourself, child. Her decision were her own. She loves you," She reassured Claire.

"Dr. Mani, maybe if I just came with her to a therapy session, we could all sit and discuss the issues, and work through them."

"Dear, you cant spend your life trying to piece together every broken crack. You cant fix everyone." she walked Claire to the exit. "When she is ready, she will call you."

Back in her car, Claire decided she would let herself feel the emotions of the last 90 days. She allowed herself to be overcome by the sob she had choked back. For the hour long drive home, she would let herself be weak, burden by her guilt. Because being alone in the car no one would have to know how much she hurt and blamed herself. No one would ever know Claire had reached a breaking point in her life. Once she returned to Brook Forrest, she would dry her face, pick up her mask, and walk into her senior year as the same Claire Raymond she had always been. But in the meantime, she would spend all summer deciding who that person is..

Any comments and/or critiques are welcomed as it will help me in the editing process.