A/N: Heya fellas! So, I'm just here to inform you about the late update for the next chapter since I have exams and projects to do. My other life is quite busy nowadays.

But, anyways, it wouldn't be that late.

So, Enjoy this for awhile and Happy Reading!

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Twenty One

Two weeks in a relationship with a man who is unbelievably perfect turned my life into a living fantasy. Though there were days that Andre wouldn't be around town, he would make up for it when he gets back. I was showered with flowers, chocolate, and a whole lot of love. But, I had to admit, I couldn't wait to know what the man can do in bed.

As I take a short break in work, I sat in my desk daydreaming about my first night with my Brit hottie. Tonight, he is going to take me to dinner since he wouldn't be around this weekend for a supposed planned getaway to the beach. His work is a pain sometimes, and I was looking forward to it too. I could ogle at my man without looking like a pervert.

Breaking my trance of wild imagination, my phone rings. I picked it up and smile as I read the caller I.D.

"Hey Love." I greeted with a smile.

"Love. Sorry to interrupt you, are you doing something?" Andre asked in a rush, his breath is slightly strained.

"No. Are you double tasking?" I asked with curiosity.

"Yeah. I'm at work filing papers." He replied and paused, sighing. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you about dinner tonight." He continued.

"What about tonight?" I asked my heart slightly stop for a second.

"I'm held up at work and I wouldn't be finish until late at night. I'm really, truly sorry." He answered his sadness palpable.

"I understand. Don't worry about it." I replied softly to comfort his guilt.

"And, I even cancelled this weekend. I'm so sorry about this, Ally." He stated again in anguish.

"Hey. Don't blame yourself. There isn't much you could do right. And, I understand. I'm okay with it." I started softly and paused for a moment. "Hey, how about you stay over at my place for tonight? Just knock on my door when your back." I offered.

"Are you sure? If it's not I bother..."He asked, excitement evident in his voice as he trailed off. "I would love too." He adds calmly.

"Sure. It's not a bother." I stated with a chuckle. "I'll see you later tonight, then."

"Yeah. Tonight." He stated the words softly, like a caress. "Bye, Love."

"Bye." I ended the call with a silent swoon.

Then, as I put the phone back down on my desk, it dawns on me. Tonight is the night. Tonight, I'll have my piece of my British Hottie. My face heats up from that thought, which I shook right after as my heart started to pound at a fast pace.

For the rest of the day, I've been slightly distracted. I wasn't able to concentrate much on work and made a few mistakes here and there. Since I've poorly performed well, I excused myself from work and went home earlier than usual.

As I lay in my bed an hour later when I reached home, my train of thoughts was interrupted with a sudden unexpected visit. A soft knock on the door made me jump to my feet and off the bed.

"Coming! Who is it?" I called as I walked towards the door.

"Ally? It's me." Logan replied, making me stop on my tracks from the sound of his voice.

For the past two weeks since I've meet him for lunch when I told my brother and bestfriend about Andre, Logan had been a ghost around me. Whenever we crossed paths in and out of the building, he would just nod his head in greeting and pretends that I didn't exist. I was slightly stunned by his sudden cold shoulder. As a matter of fact, I'm hurt by his actions. But, I didn't admit it aloud. So, I returned the courtesy and pretended that he didn't also exist.

"What do you want?" I asked after gathering back my stance, sounding slightly rude.

"Can we talk?" he asked softly yet aloud since there was a wall between us.

"Sure. We can talk. Talk to me now." I replied, almost hissing the words out with anger.

"I know you are angry with me..." he stated and trailed off as I heard him letting out a huge breath. "Can you please open the door?" He asked calmly with refine patience. He took the heat well.

"You can say what you want to say to me without seeing me Logan. I can hear you clearly from here." I replied stubbornly. I wasn't going to give in. If he wanted to pretend not to see me, so I will give him what he wants.

"I want to see your face when I tell you this, Ally." He said with sincerity, his voice almost a cry.

I stood there, just a foot from the door, staring at it. In my head, I was debating whether to comply or not. But, I was too curious to know why he stopped ignoring me now. What is that something he needed to say in front of me?

So, hesitantly with a dramatic sigh of surrender, I opened the door. Standing right in front of me is a sad looking Logan, his face filled with defeat. I was taken off guard by his expression. I was ready to yell at him and be angry, but I cannot. I stood there, still holding the door wide open, unable to move or say anything.

For a beat, our eyes met when I opened the door as he stood there immobile. And then, without warning, he walked up to me grabbing my arm and pulling me forcefully towards him. He took me off guard, making me stumble right into his chest. He wraps me in a quick embrace, so sudden I couldn't react. But, he doesn't stop there. In the same second, he cupped my face in his hands and lead down to my face.

For a second, I felt the sudden swoosh of air as his lips collided with me. It was filled with fierceness and his passion. My mind suddenly went blank for the sudden turn of events. But, slowly, as my mind becomes coherent, the kiss changes as my lips started to react to the one sensation in my body that it knew well.

The feeling of his warm, soft lips, familiar and right as it shaped mine. I knew this kiss well. My heart knew this kiss well. This was a kiss I would react without a second notice. A kiss that was so breathtaking, I wanted to live in this moment.

But like all heavenly moments in life, it ends as we both break free to catch out breaths. Slowly, like a fragile figurine, he caresses my cheek in a loving manner.

"I can't do it anymore, Ally. I don't want to pretend anymore days that I do not have feelings for you. I give up... For that, I'm so sorry." He whispered softly, his lips still inches from mine.

I opened my closed eyes and met his sparkling Caribbean blue eyes. The same eyes that I would get lost as I stare at it. I let out a sigh as I lightly stepped away from him so that he wouldn't misinterpret it as a rejection, but a sign that I needed a little space.

"Logan, I..." I started but stopped as I was unable to form the right words to say to him. In fact, I do not know what to say to him now.

"I know that you're with Andre now. And, I did promise to him that I wouldn't interfere... that I don't feel that way about you anymore... But, I was wrong. So wrong..." He interjected with conviction, his voice quivering slightly at the end. It was almost like a cry.

There was a short silence before I was able to give him my reply. "Logan. I'm so sorry... I'm with Andre now..." I said my voice almost a whisper as I choked on the words.

He stepped back a foot from me. His face suddenly hardens as he tries to cover his pain. "I understand." He stated sternly.

"Logan. It's not like..." I started but trailed off as he held up a hand to stop me.

"No. Don't. You don't have to feel guilty about this. I've taken this into account. I know full well that you are in a relationship. And, if I've made things seem hard for you, I'm so sorry. I don't want to live another day, regretting that I haven't tell you what I feel." He said with refine confidence, but his eyes tell me differently.

"I love you, Allison Coleman. Always had, always will. Never forget that." He said at last. The words I thought would never left from his mouth. Words so surreal, I thought I was dreaming. But, those sad, pained blue eyes gave away that I was living in reality.

This wasn't a dream. I knew that I couldn't just give up everything, and hurt someone for the sake of past feelings. As I stood there, staring at his retreating figure as he crossed the short distance to his place, I felt the growing distance between us.

I've lost my chance. Would I regret this decision of not going along with what I felt? I couldn't possibly decide something too grant in just a moment. How am I going to decide something so sudden? I've been catch off guard. Now, what am I going to do with that information?

I felt like being in auto-pilot as I close my door and walked ghostly to my living room couch. My mind was filled with so many thoughts at once that I think I've burst. Is it possible for someone to have a mental break down from thinking about your love life? I never thought that I would come to a point in life I wouldn't know my own heart.

I've taken so much control of myself, making planned decisions. But life had thrown me challenges that needed to be decided in the moment. And for that, I'm not ready to make such decision. Thus, I'm left contemplating and sometimes regretting for not have taken actions and choose the one thing my heart tells me.

I don't know how long I've stayed there in the couch until someone knock on my door. I leap out and half ran as I got the door. My thought was a repeat track of Logan's name.

"Log..." I called as I opened the door, but stopped as another man's joyful smile met my sad face.

"Hey, love. Did you wait long?" Andre greeted as he lean down and gave me a gentle kiss in the lips, which I didn't reciprocate. He noticed my lack of response. "Is everything alright?" He asked with worry.

"I'm fine... Please, come in." I replied with a small smile and gesture him to get in.

"Is this a bad time? You look exhausted." He asked as he took a step towards me and cupped one of his hands to my cheeks.

"I'm fine, Andre. How was work?" I replied with a small smile, stepping away from his hold as I close the door behind him.

Andre wasn't into detail as he vaguely told me about his day. I knew that he works for a company, representing for them and doing some sort of business deals. I've thought that he works for a real estate company, but he doesn't look like that kind of man. Maybe he was into discussing charts and diagrams. I don't pry him about his job since the first and last time I did, he looked at me deadly and gave me a small smile. Then, it dawn on me, he's embarrass to admit what he does.

After I've made him some sandwiches to eat, we watch something on television for awhile until we decide to go to bed. This part I wasn't any more enthusiastic about as I had this morning. I was lying down on my side of the bed, thinking about my emotional state, as Andre wash up in the bathroom.

When he finally joined me, that's when my thoughts stopped and my heart spoke freely. I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep, as I listen to his light footsteps walking towards the bed. When the bed sunk low as he sat, my heart was in my mouth. I would deny on the fact that I was nervous. I said to myself aloud that I wasn't ready for the intimate stuff. But, my inner, slutty side, which I thought had died when I saw that god-awful scene with my ex-boyfriend, is roaring with need.

I'm just human. And, I do have needs. But, was I ready for something like that? Do I trust this man to not hurt me? Before I could turn around and make a move, a familiar set of sad blue eyes cross my mind. That's when I decided to not move and stay my eyes close.

When morning came, I was relived to wake up without anyone sleeping beside me. I felt bad to think that way since I can hear Andre in the bathroom as clear as day. I don't know why I feel so disappointed with myself. I've already made my decision. I choose Andre. By way am I not smiling all the time with glee? Why don't I want to see him lying beside me in the morning? Why didn't I want to his body last night?

I rolled myself on the bed until my face mashed underneath the pillow, silencing my groan of exasperation. I pulled myself up when my lungs started to burn and lay back down on my back. I stared at the dull creamy white ceiling and sighed. I felt so defeated and lost.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" Andre asked suddenly, reeling me back to the present as I lay there in bed.

I turn my head and face him. He was half-naked with a towel hanging by his hips. The sight of him would take a woman's breath away and pounce on him without second thoughts. Buy, that wasn't what I felt as I look at him. I only felt guilt. I don't even know why I felt guilty.

I gave him a small smile of reply before rolling out of the bed. I strolled towards him, his eyes locking mine with intense emotions. I stopped in front of him for a second and cupped his face on my hand.

"Andre, I'm so sorry." I stated in a whisper, my voice raspy from sleep.

He stood there, his eyes scanning mine. His face didn't betray him as he kept them expressionless. And then, after a few seconds, he lets out a gush of breath.

"Did he tell you?" he asked softly without a trace of anger.

"He came by last night before you came." I replied in the same tone, looking directly at him as I spoke truth.

"I see..." He lets out another breath as he closes his eyes. "Can we talk about his when I get back? I want you to think about it carefully if you want this or not." He asked as he places his hand on my shoulder then to his heart.

"Andre... I don't get why you are giving me time when I've just..." I stutter in utter belief from his words.

"I really like you, Allison. And I don't want to lose you when I've almost had you completely. I can see that you still have feelings for him..." He stated in a calm manner.

"I don't have feelings for him... It's not like..." I interjected in defense.

"Do not lie to yourself, Ally. It's quite obvious what you and Logan think of each other." He countered as he puts a finger to my mouth. "So, please, do not fool yourself anymore. You are not the only one who gets hurt if you don't stay true to what you feel."

I stared at him in silence as I absorbed his words. How can I be this lucky to be with a man this understanding? But, do I really want to be with this man, or am I with him to cover up my true feelings? Plus, he was right about one thing. If I don't sort out my feelings, I would be hurting a lot of people.

With a sad smile, I tipped my toe to reach his cheeks, giving him a light kiss. It was a kiss of gratitude and goodbye. When I pulled back, I saw that his eyes were close and his face was filled with defeat. I didn't anymore say another word after that and leave him to himself. For, I knew, I wouldn't be able to comfort his pain when I was the reason behind it.

When Andre finally felt the apartment, the place seemed empty and spacious. I'm so sad that out last conversation was about Logan. I felt bad for Andre, for pulling him along with my problems because I was afraid to face them. And, I don't want that anymore. I owe it to him to find out the one decision I knew I would never feel the need to regret I give up everything.