ok im done making excuses for not updating frequently anymore. im sorry i dont but some comments on some books of mine are extremely demotivating and ik i shouldnt give a fuck on them but i do and it makes me dislike my writing.

i try to update for u guys (the ones who actually like my bullshit) but pls be patient when i take a few days off wattpad sometimes bc some comments are rlly annoying the hell out of me (and no i dont mean anything specifically rn the negative feedback just sums up lately and i had to say something at some point)

***

"What was that about?", Jimin asked Jungkook with lifted eyebrows after Jess ran off. "No clue", Jungkook shrugged, biting his lips. "I never understood girls", he added, glancing through the room to find Jess but she seemed to be gone.
"Me neither", Jimin sighed, "Wanna have a drink?", he then asked quietly and Jungkook nodded, following him over to the table where the drinks were at.

"So where do you know her from?", Jimin asked curiously.

"Class", Jungkook looked away, "She has the same major as me-"

"She's pretty", Jimin commented after a while, staring at Jungkook blankly. When the younger nodded, both of them just went silent and sipped on their drinks for quite a while. Neither of them wanted to make conversation with the other yet they still sticked together because it was easier to not talk than to leave each other's side.

While they stood there, doing nothing, things were a whole other level outside on the hallways.

Taehyung had Lia pressed up against a wall, kissing her lips while she was brushing her body against his. This was working for two minutes, both drunk as hell, until Taehyung suddenly stopped the kiss and broke away. "What the hell are we doing", he let out, head dizzy from all the alcohol he drank.
"Kissing", Lia hummed, "Like we always do."

Taehyung looked down, getting some distance in between them, "This is wrong."

"It has always been wrong", Lia shrugged, adjusting her clothes, "What's the matter now, Tae?"

"Jungkook", the boy whispered, "I should tell him the truth."

"I thought we agreed that it's better this way", she rolled her eyes, "Do you want things with him to end like they ended with me?"
"No.."
"Then don't tell him the truth", Lia grabbed him by his hand, "Let's go to my room. It was stupid of us to make out right next to the party anyway. He could've come out the door any time."

"Everything we do is stupid!", Taehyung rubbed his forehead, trying to ignore the aching pain inside of his brain when thinking of how many lies he had told in the past year and how much he hurt the one person he didn't ever want to hurt.
"It is", Lia agreed, "But the way we do it we at least make sure you're not the bad guy in this."

Taehyung balled his fists, "You shouldn't support all this. You're better than this."
"I'm not, I wasn't better than this ever since we slept with each other that night", Lia looked away, "Going for a taken guy is never a good thing."

"You tried to stop me"

"But I still let it happen", Lia hummed. "Tae, let go of this, okay? At this point we have everyone believing our side of the story. Why be dramatic about it now?"

"Because it's my brother who's the bad guy in this now when all he did was saying the truth", Taehyung bit his lips, "And we keep acting as if it wasn't real."

"He took your boyfriend away from you, Tae. He deserves being the bad guy", Lia sighed. "There's more than one bad person in all this. Jungkook's not perfect either, he blindly believed Jimin and fucked him literally one night later."

"He believed it because he knew that I always end up cheating", Taehyung gulped. "I'm a horrible person."

"You just don't know how to truly commit to someone, that doesn't make you a bad person", Lia patted his shoulders, "One day you'll learn it. With the right person you will never feel like cheating. And the right person wasn't me nor Jungkook."
Taehyung sighed, "You think so?"

"I know so", Lia smiled, "When you love someone, they are enough."

"So you think me and Jungkook weren't meant to be?", Taehyung gulped dryly, heart breaking a little at this realisation. "Because I always thought he's the one for me."

"Oh baby", Lia chuckled softly, "He's the boy that made you realize that you're gay, of course he seems like the one to you. But I'd rather say he was your first love, not the one."

"But you were my first love", he argued but Lia only shook her head, "You always loved me and you always will, but you've never been in love with me, Tae. And we both know that."

"Why do we always end up in the same bed then-"

"Because I'm the only one who sees the good in you", she let out a sigh, "I'm going to bed now, you should too, Tae. Stop thinking so much, we did the right thing. With pretending nothing ever happened, no one really gets hurt."
"Yeah.."
"Goodnight, Tae", she hummed and then walked off, heading to her own room.

When she left, someone came running out of the party. It was Jess, her face flushed red and her hair a mess from rushing through the mass of people.
Without realizing where she was heading, she crashed into Taehyung who still stood in the middle of the hallway, all confused.
"Oh shit sorry", she let out while walking. Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts when the girl ran into him and glared down at her. "Watch your steps", he snapped.

Jess looked up to the boy and her eyes widened, "Oh you're.. - you." She immediately recognized him. That must be Jungkook's Ex and the brother of the dude she was juts talking to earlier.
"No shit sherlock, I'm me", Taehyung rolled his eyes, seeming a little pissed. "And what's so special about that?"

"Nothing-"

"Good. Then watch your steps the next time, bitch", Taehyung grumbled.

"Wow, you're in a mood, huh."

"None of your business", Taehyung snapped at the girl.
"I wasn't even asking", she hissed back, "Where's the girl you were dancing with?"

"In bed."

"Without you?"

"Without me"

"So where's Jungkook then?", she decided to tease the boy to find out a little about the thing he was having with the boy she was crushing on.

"Inside", Taehyung grumbled. "How do you even know about Jungkook? This is college, not highschool where everybody knows everything."

"Well-", Jess grinned, "It's impossible not to find out about you and him."

"Great", Taehyung rolled his eyes, "Fucking great."

"So why did things end with Jungkook?"
"Because he thinks I cheated on him", Taehyung bit his lips.

"With the girl you danced with?", Jess tilted her head, connecting the dots easily.

"Yeah", Taehyung hummed. "But as I said, he just thinks I did."

"So you didn't actually did it?", Jess looked at him calmly, waiting for his reply.

"Exactly."

"You look a little pathetic when lying", she started laughing, "Remember one thing, usually when something is not true, people don't feel the need to bring it up to a stranger and justify themselves for it."
With that she walked off, "Hope it was worth it though-"

"Wait", Taehyung squeaked out, "Wait."

"What?"

"Don't tell him."

"Oh don't worry. I like to stick out of drama. It's none of my business."
She walked away, not looking back one more time. She only smiled to herself, god this dude was such a loser. Liars were one thing but cheating liars were a whole new level of shitty person.

Taehyung looked after her and then walked back into the party, heading straight to Jungkook who was still at the bar, sipping on his drink. "What are you doing here?!", he yelled at him out of nowhere, "I told you to wait in our room!"

Jungkook looked a little startled, "Sorry, I thought I can wait here as well-"

"No you can't." Taehyung grabbed the drink away from him, then eyed Jimin madly, "And what are you doing with him?!"

"Having a drink-", Jungkook answered confused, not quite getting why Taehyung was that angry for no reason. "And just you know, Jimin is my boyfriend so I'm allowed to have a drink with him."

"We're on a break", Jimin corrected, "So I'm not your boyfriend right now."

"We're leaving", Taehyung said, grabbing Jungkook by his hand.

"If you leave with him right now", Jimin inhaled deeply, "You and me are over, Jungkook. Completely." He seemed so done with everything, not even putting emotions into his words. He let them out quietly, watching Taehyung clinging on Jungkook's hand.
"Let's go", he repeated impatiently while Jungkook hesitated, staring at Jimin.

"Jimin-"

"No", Jimin said, "I'm done with this whole shit. You should make a decision, Kook."

"I can't choose", Jungkook squeaked, "It's like making me choose between my Mom and my Dad."

"Did you just compare your sex partners to your parents.."

"Shut up, Taeyhung!", Jimin snapped, "Just shut up for once. Let Jungkook talk."

"I have nothing to say. Let's be honest, I will go with Taehyung tonight and we will probably fuck again. And it will happen again and again. Yet I will always try to go back to you, Jimin. Because to me you're my best friend and I want you in my life. So either you two live with me never making a choice or you both let me go."

Taehyung only rolled his eyes, "Enough talking now", he grabbed Jungkook by his waist and pushed him forwards, not even letting Jimin answer to that.
"Tae what the fuck", Jungkook let out as he was being pushed out of the party and along the hallways to the dorm buildings. "What's gotten into you?"

"You're never speaking a word to Jimin again or I'll never touch you again, is that clear?", he simply made the decision for Jungkook, pushing their bedroom door open and Jungkook inside.

"That's not fair, Tae", Kook whined. "I need my best friend-"

"I'm your best friend."

"You don't even like me anymore because I believed a lie! Which I deserve. But how can you call me your best friend? All you want from me is my body and that's fine but don't keep me away from people who are actually important to me-"

"If you ever want me back, you better not be friends with anyone I don't like", the older snapped, "This also goes for this Jess girl from your class. Stay away from her."

"How do you-"

"I know everything", Taehyung replied, trying not to show how afraid he was. Now there were two people who knew the truth already and he had no power over them except for trusting in Jungkook's good heart that would never believe that he was a cheating asshole.
"Okay but what's wrong with Jess-, I think she's cool."

"She's not."

"Then you stay away from Lia", Jungkook begged, "It makes me jealous to see you with her."

"You're in no position to give any orders, you're fucking my brother", Taehyung only let out dryly, "Got it?"

"Yeah, sorry..", Jungkook said in a small voice and then sat down on his bed, looking down to the floor. Taehyung stilled for a second, staring at the boy blankly. He smiled a little when he recognized all the little features all over Jungkook's face, his glowing eyes and the shiny lipgloss he was wearing. He loved how small his ears looked sometimes, how his hair always looked neat and clean as if he was the best boy ever.
Taehyung got closer and put his fingers under Jungkook's chin, slowly pushing it up because he hated seeing the boy looking down. He seemed so weak when he did that.

"You're not the one for me", Taehyung whispered, trying to tell that to himself without realizing that he spoke it out loud and Jungkook's heart shattered in a thousand pieces at that.

"What", he stuttered, eyes filling with tears, "Why are you saying that-"

Taehyung realized what he said and quickly shook his head, "Did I say that out loud?"

Jungkook nodded, a small tear escaping his left eye, rolling down his puffy cheek. "Why are you saying that", he repeated.
"Are you seriously crying now", Taehyung let out a chuckle, "Dude, how are we supposed to be endgame when you fucked my brother? That's wrong in so many ways."

"I was hurt!", Jungkook yelled out suddenly, anger building up inside of him as well. "I'm sorry I believed Jimin when he told me you cheated but you don't exactly have the best history when it comes to this topic. Sorry for blindly believing it. But I was hurt and I wanted to make you feel the same thing I felt. And Jimin was just there at that moment."

"And you think saying you're hurt is an excuse?"

"No of course not, I'm just trying to explain to you why I did what I did." Jungkook sobbed, tears now coming faster as they made their way down Jungkook's pretty face.

"Your explanation sucks."

"And I'm sorry that my feelings aren't valid enough to you", Jungkook grumbled. "You're not perfect either."
"I never said I am."

"Okay!", Jungkook didn't know what to say. "Why are you so mad? What happened while you were outside?"

"I'm not mad", Taehyung said bluntly. "I'm just done."

"With what?"

"With loving you", Taehyung answered, "Loving you makes me feel sick."

"Oh wow", Jungkook could feel his heart shatter again, as if it didn't already shatter a thousand times today. "Thank you."

"Yeah."

"Then you should stay away from me if I make you sick", Jungkook shrugged, "No one is keeping you here."

"Yeah I should."
Taehyung stepped forwards, putting his hands on Jungkook's waist as he got on top of his lap and locked eyes with him.
"So why are you getting on top of me then", Jungkook asked in a small voice.

"Because it's easier than walking away from you."

"Maybe you should not always take the easier way", Jungkook whispered, "Sometimes the hard way is the one worth it."

"I'm not the type of guy to take the hard way."

***