***

"What do you mean forever doesn't exist?"
Taehyung had been silent for the past ten minutes. Jungkook had switched into his pyjamas and now sat down on his bed, staring at Taehyung expressionless. Taehyung sat next to him on the small bunk bed they had here in college, biting his lips because Jungkook seemed different after saying this out loud. He looked drained out, eyes teary and his lips trembling a little.

There's two things Jungkook learned last summer; one being that there is nothing like forever and second, love is just an illusion, driven by hormones.
It all started a week before that one night last summer that changed everything. Jungkook had snuck out of the house at night to go onto a midnight drive with Jimin to get some chicken nuggets. While passing by his father's office he had heard noises, kissing noises, which he at first didn't think much of. His parents had always been loving towards each other and showed Jungkook a healthy relationship that wasn't worn out by the years.
But as soon as he went downstairs and saw his mother standing in the kitchen while sipping on her tea, his whole world view shattered.
"Mom, I think you should go upstai-", that was what Jungkook was trying to say but the woman cut him off mid-sentence and turned away, hiding her face from her son. She knew. But she didn't do anything about what was going on up there.

Jungkook had left without saying anything further.

The following nights he had noticed the same damn thing over and over again, his mother would pretend his father was working late in his office and would just stand around in the kitchen and drink tea. Jungkook didn't understand why until one night he dared to walk into his father's office and speak up about the shit he was doing. Well, that was what happened earlier that one night.
He had walked in on his father and what shocked him the most was that there was no other woman, there was a business guy sitting on his father's desk, his own Dad in between the man's legs, kissing him hungrily.
"Dad!", Jungkook had cried out but his father had already noticed him walking in, stumbling back with no words to explain so he just stayed silent, looking down. He couldn't look his own son in the eyes. "What about Mom?", Jungkook yelled out but his father had nothing to justify his actions so he didn't say a word.
Jungkook broke into tears back then and ran downstairs, asking his mother why she wouldn't do anything about this. The woman only gave him a smile and said, "Your father loves me and I love him, there is nothing to worry about."

Jungkook had felt like throwing up.
How could she be completely fine with it?

He had never seen this business guy ever again in their house, but he had never seen his parents kiss or hold hands ever again either.

"Kookie", Taehyung interrupted the boy's memories, grabbing his hands softly, "Are you here with me?"

"I'm so sorry", Jungkook finally let out, tears falling off his eyes, "I should have never treated you like this that night."

"It's fine, Kookie", Taehyung assured him and wrapped his arms around him, "I should have noticed that something was wrong. I shouldn't have straightup went to Lia out of anger."
"I'm so so sorry", Jungkook sobbed, pressing his face in Taehyung's chest, "I loved you so much and I ruined everything."

Loved.

"Do you want to tell me what happened last summer?"

"Yes", Jungkook nodded, inhaling deeply, "Yes I want to."
It felt like lifting stones off his chest, he had no one to talk about it ever since he found out. He was scared of people not believing him what he saw, because after all his parents were still together and acted as if everything would be fine.
"Then tell me, baby", Taehyung said softly and cuddled into the blankets with Jungkook in his arms, pulling the blankets above them to get comfortable with the younger.

"I caught my Dad cheating on my Mom", Jungkook explained, "With another man. Multiple times"
Taehyung's eyes widened, "Does your Mom know?!", he asked in disbelief.
"She did all along. But she didn't do shit about it. Can you believe that?!"

"Holy shit", Taehyung hummed, "Your parents always seemed so in love-, they would have been the last couple I thought would do shit like cheating."
"To me it was us", Jungkook shrugged, "To me it was us that would never cheat", he admitted and his tears were back, falling off his long lashes and rolling down his reddened cheeks. "But then you cheated on me and I wanted to hurt you as bad as possible for proving me wrong. So I slept with your brother and that was so fucking wrong of me", he shook his head, "I don't love Jimin, I never did. I was just so, so mad at my father for doing this to my Mom and I was mad at you for not saying the right things that night."

"I didn't know", Taehyung whispered, "I felt so offended because you wanted to break up with me and accused me of planning on cheating. I had a bad reputation with cheating and I know that, but I just always thought I did everything right with you and then-"
"And then I didn't talk to you about what was really going on and picked a fight", Jungkook ended Taehyung's sentence, "I'm so sorry, Tae."

"It's okay", Taehyung gulped, "Now that I know, it all makes sense. Of course you would think that after catching your own father cheating-"
"I don't know why he did that. If he's not happy with my mother, why does he not get a divorce??", Kook cried out, "Cheating is so bad."

"I remember one of the first times I met your father", Taehyung started talking, "It was back when Hoseok and Jimin caught me at your house after 24 hours, do you remember? When I left your house, your Dad told me that it is okay to run away because some people will never be ready. What if he meant himself with that?"

"You mean he was never ready to come out as bisexual?", Jungkook asked quietly, "I would have never thought that my own Dad would like men too."

"To be honest, I always kinda thought that", Taehyung shrugged, "He was so against us but he still protected us in the beginning-, that's internalized homophobia, Koo. You're just lucky enough that your father cares more about you than about what people taught him to be right and wrong."

"But that doesn't justify cheating", Kook mumbled. "Nothing justifies that."

"It doesn't. But what if your mother knew it all along too? And she didn't say a word because it was a man up there? Maybe she was trying to protect your father from falling back in his steps forward."

"It's still wrong!"

"Of course it is", Tae said, "I'm just trying to understand why all of this happened, Koo. It's easy to see why shit went down between you and me, but it is somehow really hard to get into adult's heads."

"I'm sick of talking about my parents", Jungkook suddenly interrupted, "Let's not talk about them again. I will keep my distance to them until the day they will be honest with each other."
Taehyung nodded, "Okay. Fine", he leaned closer and brushed through Kook's hair. "But can I say one more thing?"

"Sure"

"Please don't stop believing in forever, Koo."

*

"Have you seen Taehyung?", Lia sat down next to Jimin in the library after searching for Taehyung all morning. She hadn't seen the boy ever since that last party when Taehyung's guilty mind caught up with him. "Nah", Jimin shrugged, "He's been in his room with Jungkook for the last few days, they only come out to get food."
"Are they back together?", Lia tilted her head.
"Doubt it", Jimin hummed, "But maybe they're working on it."

Lia smiled, "That's good", she grabbed her books, opened them and started taking notes. Jimin sat there, staring at her in disbelief, "Good?!", he asked a little annoyed by how calm the girl seemed to be. "You think it's good that the guy you love is in one room with his Ex for a couple of days-"

"They're finally working things out, that's good", Lia nodded, "Jungkook is the one Taehyung loves so I will not be in their way anymore-"

"You've always been in the way, just like me", Jimin said, "Those two aren't meant to be."

"Jimin please", Lia sighed, "Why don't you try to stop caring so much about their relationship? Did it ever get you anywhere?"
"What do you mean", Jimin crossed his arms and felt offended.

"Well, you lost Jungkook as your best friend back then, then you lost Hoseok after you convinced yourself of liking Jungkook in a lovers way. Then you lost him to Taehyung over and over again, will you ever stop trying to be something you're not?"
"You must say", Jimin snapped, "You're the one running after Taehyung when all he ever did is pushing you away."

"I promised him to be there for him until he's ready", Lia shrugged, "And I love him. I truly love this guy and if I had a choice I would not let Jungkook have him. But it isn't my choice so I stay out of it when I'm not needed and so should you."
"Does it make you feel better? To behave like some all-knowing bitch that does the right thing all the time?", Jimin hissed at her and then pulled his earphones out and started ignoring the girl while listening to music.

"Oh boy", she sighed, took her books and sat down at another table. All she did was try to be nice and give him advice. But apparently Jimin had no capacity of being a decent human being.

Jimin looked after her, rolled his eyes and then went back to his notes. Midterms were close so he had to focus on studying instead of all that love shit that constantly went on.

Not much later Jungkook and Taehyung walked into the library and sat down at a table together. Jimin and Lia both gave them looks but they were ignoring them easily.
"Does our deal still stand?", Kook asked curiously, "The sleeping with others deal?"

"I don't want to sleep with anyone else besides you", Taehyung complained. "But if you want to, yeah sure. Let's do it for a while and then finally get back together-"

"You want to get back together with me?", Kook asked with big eyes, "After everything? You would forgive me fucking your brother?"
"I understand why you did it", Taehyung said, "So I'll forgive you for it. Will you forgive me cheating on you with Lia?"

Jungkook nodded, "I think so. If you stay away from her in the future."

"I will do anything for you", Tae hummed, "Now that I know how it feels to lose you, you will never have to worry about losing me."
"That sounds like heaven to me", Kook giggled. "Okay how about we sleep with one other person and if it doesn't change anything about our feelings for each other, we won't ever sleep with someone else again?"

"I don't need to sleep with someone to be sure about my feelings but okay", Taehyung bit his lips. To be honest, he was afraid of Jungkook finding someone better. He knew that Jungkook could have anyone with just one look, the whole world loved this boy even when he sometimes didn't know why. It was just something about Kook that draw everyone in.
"Me neither. But I need this so it's not Lia or Jimin who were the last people we had sex with. I don't know if this makes sense but I really need this for closure " Jungkook explained.

"Fine. Let's do it this week and from next week on, we'll never do dumb shit like this again", Taehyung suggested and Jungkook agreed.
"Great now I just have to find someone who wants to have sex with me-", Jungkook hummed, looking through the room.

His eyes glued to a certain girl that sat in a corner, nose hidden behind her books and her brown hair in a messy bun.
Jess.

***

before anyone comes at me now, these kids are teenagers in college. yes they do stupid things for no reason