NEON

Hinawakan ko ng mabuti ang papel na hawak ko. Every time I hold this sheet of paper, I'm always thinking about the time of when I'll end writing this letters. Maybe now, maybe tomorrow.. I don't know.

Oo, ako yung nagsusulat at nagbibigay ng mga letters kay Vermillion. Well, I mean, hindi pa ba halata? Who would have the courage to ask her out? She's Vermillion Mendes, every guy's dream but they're afraid of holding her.

Duwag ba ako? Sadly, it's a yes. Hindi naman ako magsusulat anonymously kung ganun, hindi ba? Let's just say, I'm really scared of being rejected. Why? I might lose Vermillion in two different ways.

I might lose her as the apple of my eye, and I might her as my best friend.

"Why am I still doing this?" I quietly asked myself. Bakit nga ba? Bakit pa ako nagsusulat when in fact Vermillion doesn't want to know who I am. She wants to know me then, but now? I think not.

Tanga ba ako? That's definitely a yes. I would definitely be stupid for Vermillion Mendes. Alam kong hindi ko napapasaya si Vermillion sa mga letters na ito. Pero sinabi niya na napapasaya ko siya personally. And I'm scared of knowing until when is she going to be happy because of me.

I'm scared because I don't want her happiness to fade.

Especially now.. Vermillion's not talking to me and I don't know the reason why. May nagawa ba akong mali? May nangyari ba sa kanya? I kept asking myself questions that I couldn't even answer.

"Last na, no more letters." I exhaled and slowly put the letter inside her locker. Kinakabahan ako, at malungkot din. Ayaw kong tumigil na magsulat ng letters. Pero mukhang wala na talagang mangyayari between me and Vermillion.

Am I a quitter? It took me quite some time to grow some balls and put letters inside her locker. But I'm not ashamed of saying I'm a quitter.

Inside that letter, I put everything I've always wanted to say right from the start. I hope Vermillion might at least write a letter back to me, but still, no expectations dapat.

I might quit as your secret admirer but I'm not quitting the job as your best friend, for I promised to stay even though what might happen in the world in front of us right now.

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--- luh, corny nito. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. kasuka nito, auq na.