♡ | Chapter 17

'nope, nada, zilch...'

A thick awkward silence filled the car. Of course Yeon Ji acted oblivious to it all, and attempted to make small talk. I brushed off his attempts with one word replies.

From the way he opened and closed his mouth and cleared his throat several times, I knew he was trying his best to think of ways to get me to talk.

At the hotel lobby Yeon Ji had offered to give me a ride. But only after he made a big fuss over my split lip.

Since finding a taxi was next to impossible considering the crowd that had accumulated, I decided to comply.

I was actually enjoying having the upperhand for once. So I decided to let him suffer for a few more minutes before speaking up.

"Why are you doing this?"

"What do you mean this?" He seemed relived that I was finally talking but also confused.

"Popping up in my life out of nowhere."

"Maybe because I enjoy your company?" He said with a playful grin.

I stared at his face in silence, until his smile fell off, and he groaned in defeat.

"Two years." I continued, "Not a word from you for two years. You left me, Yeon Ji..."

His Adams apple bobbed as he gulped and spoke with a sigh, "I know."

I felt my throat constricting as the oh-so-familiar heartache returned.

"Really? Is that all you have to say?"

"I don't know what else to say, Lisa," he sighed. "I'm sorry, I really am. I regret leaving you. And if I could go back in time, I would never make that terrible decision. But now...I don't know what to do."

I pursed my lips to stop the sobs, but there was nothing I could do to stop the hot tears that started pooling in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.

I wasn't crying because of his words.

I was crying because no matter how much he had hurt me, I was still ready to accept him back into my life. I was still ready to be with him, knowing that he had the power to hurt me all over again.

He parked the car on the sidewalk and looked at me while I kept looking out the window trying to hold myself together.

"We're already late for the concert." I reminded him, my voice sounding strained.

"Tell me you don't miss what we have and I'll let you be. I'll stay away from you." He pleaded.

"Had."

"Huh?"

"What we had." I pointed out and wiped at the tears with my sleeve.

"Okay, okay...what we had. Just...give me one chance. I'll make it up to you. Please?"

His hand kept reaching towards me only to stop himself. I knew he was itching to hold me, comfort me.

This was my Yeon Ji. The Yeon Ji who always made me laugh. The Yeon Ji who always comforted me when I cried. This was the Yeon Ji who was always there for me.

But he was also the Yeon Ji that left me two years ago.

"I...can't."

He reached out and clasped my hand in his.

I should have snatched my hand away. I should have resisted.

But I didn't want to.

I missed the warmth, security and comfort that surrounded him. I could lie to myself all I want, but that doesn't make the lie turn into a truth.

He softly placed his finger on my chin and turned my head around to face him.

"Look at my eyes and tell me you don't want me."

"That stuff only happens in movies, Yeon Ji." I said dryly, bringing a small smile onto his sombre face.

"Whoops. Just wanted to see if that works in real life...so, is it working?"

"Nope. Nada. Zilch."

"I'll treat you with chicken wings, chicken nuggets, BBQ?"

"What do you take me for? A pig?"

"That used to work before." He pouted.

"That was only because I was watching Wightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo those days. The heat of it is gone now."

"No way! That was an awesome drama! All time favourite, you said."

"You said, and I quote, it was a 'dumb story' with a 'dumb and ugly female lead', that the guy had to be 'dumb to fall for her' and that the word 'dumb would sum it up'."

"I did?" He asked, with wide-eyed innocence.

I raised my eyebrow at him, challenging him to deny.

"I guess I did then." He laughed.

Our hands were still clasped between us. Neither loose nor tight. A silent agreement of not wanting to let go.

~¤~

We reached the concert 45 minutes late and I could only hope no one had noticed my absence.

I suddenly gasped, remembering that Yeon Ji and his team was supposed to perform today as well.

"You-"

"Dont worry. We're up for the last song. There's still a whole hour to it." Yeon Ji replied like he had read my thoughts, making me smile.

I was about to continue inside when I saw Jungkook stumbling backstage through a side door. He looked like he was drunk. Which, of course, he couldn't be.

"Jungkook!" I involuntarily cried out and ran towards him when I saw him almost crash against a prop.

His eyes caught mine, and a look of desperation passed within them.

He fell against me, making me kneel down along with him, as I was unable to hold up his weight.

From my peripheral vision I saw the rest of the members rush in.

Yeon Ji placed his hands on my shoulders to get my attention.

"Lisa, what's going on?"

"Get the medical team! He just passed out!" I shouted.

He gave a swift nod and sprinted off.

I laid Jungkook's head on my lap and patted his cheeks. His hair was matted with cold sweat and his lips parched and white.

"Jungkook? Jungkook, can you hear me?"

He groaned.

"Is he okay?" Jimin asked while running a hand through his hair.

"Kook-ah?" Taehyung shook his arm looking worried.

J-Hope looked scared and white as a sheet, while Suga had a worried frown etched onto his forehead and Jin placed a bottle of water at Jungkook's lips, making him take a few sips.

"Guys, guys! Don't crowd him." Namjoon was telling them when the medical team rushed in.

Four males lifted Jungkook and carried him inside while a camera shot the whole thing.

"The rest of you get ready for the next song! It starts in two minutes!" Manager Sejin ordered.

"What about Jungkook?" Jimin asked.

"We'll see if he can perform. If not, you guys will have to pull it off." He tsked and pinched between his eyes in frustration before following the medical team inside.

I helped the boys change into their outfits since the staff had dispersed to help Jungkook.

The whole place was a mess. Everyone was freaking out. But Namjoon managed to keep the boys in check.

They only took 15 seconds to change outfits. I was amazed.

But with each second that ticked by, I felt myself getting more and more anxious.

The boys went to check in on Jungkook and I followed.

He was laid on a mattress with a mini oxygen mask over his face.

"Take his socks off." Someone said.

"Shall I take them off?" One of the staff members asked for Jungkook's permission.

"Don't." He grumbled.

"His socks are his pride." J-Hope joked making him laugh weakly.

"30 seconds more. Jungkook, can you make it?" Manager Sejin asked.

"Yeah." He replied and immediately tried to sit up.

"Hey, only if you're really okay. You don't have to exert yourself. We can take care of it." Namjoon assured him, even though he obviously knew it would mess up their choreography.

At that moment, as an ARMY, I felt immensely proud of Namjoon.

"I'm sure." Jungkook said, prompting the staff to help him get ready.

"Great! Let's go, let's go! Five seconds!" Manager Sejin urged the boys to run.

They managed to step onto the stage just as the timer went off.

And the crowd roared, oblivious to the disaster that almost took place backstage.

AN

Longest chapter so far. But I hope it was worth it =)

This chapter was written in reference to the real incident where Jungkook almost passed out during the BTS Wings tour concert in Chile.

These boys go through so many hardships and exert themselves to the point of breaking all because they want to do their best for us. So lets take a moment to appreciate that. They deserve our undying love.
Saranghae BTS!