My wife wants me to barbeque.

"All men do it," she says.

Since when does she want me to be like all men?

She stuck a stick-man figure of a guy barbequing on the back of the van.

It would be cute, but it isn't.

I stuck a stick-woman figure of a girl prettier than her on the back of the van.

Either she doesn't get it or I'm in for a big one when she lets me have it for that one.

Next I put a stick-dog on there that's actually been groomed.

And a stick-kid that is happy and well adjusted.

Look at us now, we're faking it with the best of them.

Then she says, "Those figures don't go together."

She says they don't match.

What's that supposed to mean?

We're not right for each other?

Bad time to say that. And it would be nice to be clearer about all this.

What am I supposed to do? Which one should I replace?

I'm not falling into the trap of replacing her on there, that's for sure.

I might just replace them all. A stick-figure do-over.