Lapidot Human AU (my friend got me addicted to it ;-;)
tw: death
AN: literally i was ill when i wrote this bc i ate an entire can of pineapple?? and im very allergic to pineapple??? it was worth it. also lower class is intended
~
the young woman was very ill. it was sad enough just like that, but it gets worse. the woman's lover was not sick at all, in fact she was very much alive and she was very aware of the fact that the woman she loved was dying. there was nothing she could do. there was nothing they could do. lapis was dying, she had been for a very long time, but it never really seemed evident until now. now, it felt like there was nothing but death in lapis anymore.
their conversations were short, light, and immensely terrifying. peridot tried not to make lapis talk to much, like if lapis spoke too much she might run out of air in her lungs and die. peridot wasn't ready for that. not yet.
there wasn't much time left. if they were to speak, the time was now. if they were to share their love, or to tell lies, or weep, cry, scream, fear, the time was now.
who knew if they would have time beyond the 'now'?
one conversation stuck with peridot.
"are you afraid?" peridot had asked, one of the few times she asked questions. it was obvious that lapis was dying now, and she wanted to hear her speak. lapis thought for a long while. she had to plan every word that she spoke, because she might not have the strength to speak them she took a breath.
"many people have died, my love. some have left with brave hearts and others have left with heavy souls," lapis paused, taking time to breathe and to sigh, "i'll just have to find out which one i'll be."
it was the first time that lapis admitted that she was dying. it was silly, because they both knew it, but somehow, hearing it out loud made it feel a little more real. like it wasn't just in their thoughts, but that death was a tangible thing that they could reach out and touch with shaking fingertips.
peridot tried to understand for lapis's sake. it was hard, trying to be a dying woman's lover. it wasn't about the love that makes you feel bubbly and happy. it was about the type of love that was comfort in times of fear. sometimes peridot wanted to leave. it was understandable after all. this was lapis's death, and not peridot's. by no means was she obligated to stay and endure the pain with her. but she did. and that's the type of lover that she needed to be for lapis.
lapis only got worse, but it was strange to see it happen. peridot knew that it would happen, but it was almost breathtaking to see it happen. she didn't really think that it would happen like this. she didn't think that it would happen so quickly, it only took a few months for her to deteriorate. but it also happened so slowly for a person that was living it out those months.
peridot had a few moments of panic when lapis first passed out, but it became only more and more common. after the fifth time, peridot just bundled lapis up in blankets, and played with her hair until she woke up. if se woke up.
it was the twelfth time that lapis passed out that peridot knew something was wrong. it was different this time. her breathing got shallower instead of getting stronger. she slowed down her breathing and it took longer for her to breathe in. peridot just kept on playing with her hair, desperately rubbing lapis's hands.
she slowly became worse. everything had been building up to this, and peridot knew it. it was just so strange that it was finally ending, and so quickly as well.
it was so simple.
lapis stopped breathing.
and she didn't breathe again.
it took peridot an entire hour to process it, and she just kept on playing with her hair and rubbing her hands. lapis's hair became sticky with tears as peridot slowly realized what had happened.
so quietly. she left so quickly. the most important person in peridot's life had simply vanished without a single word. it was like all the stars fell out of the night sky and left nothing but an inky darkness and a silver moon.
peridot couldn't imagine lapis dying so silently. it was like if the sun went out with nothing but a breeze.
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